New Civ: 'Straya ... (Australia)

[MooFreaky]

'Straya is native 'Strayan speak for Australia. It is considered proper in 'Straya to not pronounce the "Au" or the "lia" and instead run the end of the word together to form the word "Straya". Although "Stralya" is also acceptable, but looked down upon slightly as being not quite 'Strayan enough.

This thread is has considerable amounts of "native" Australian language. If you are unwilling to accept cultures different to your own, and the language that is spoken in those countries then you may find the following offensive. Such discriminatory views, however, mean you will be missing out on what is a brilliant culture, filled with colourful sayings and general awesomeness.

Without further adieu...

'Straya
The into read by Sean Bean:
F*ck yeah! 'Straya, c*nt!

Leader:
BOB F*CKIN' HAWKE

Leader Ability:
SKULL SKULL SKULL
Bob F*ckin' Hawke can skull a beer quicker 'an a fatty downs a chokkie. Them foreign types seems to love the fair dinkum nature of ol' Bobby (plus, he's a f*ckin' cracker when he's pissed). That's why 'Straya (f*ck yeah!) gets a bonus to relations with all foreign peeps they send a delegation to. I dunno, let's say +5 or some sh*t. F*ck maths.

Leader Agenda:
Get F*ckin' Smashed
It's no fun gettin' blind on your own. Bobby wants to have as many mates over, to drink piss and smoke some durries with, as possible. He wants as many delegations in 'Straya (f*ck yeah!) as possible. Once everyone is f*ckin' hammered he'll be all like "Yeah nah for sure Let's trade some sh*t, c*nt." So Bobby, likes to get as many of 'em trading their sh*t with 'Straya (f*ck yeah!)


'Strayan Civ Ability:
You're a F*ckin' Dead C*nt
This 'Strayan (f*ck yeah!) saying derives from the Aboriginal term for "land of many dangers". Don't matter where ya come from, you're f*ckin' dead. Crocs, snakes, spiders as big as your head (f*ckin' legit), sharks, blue ringed octopuses. Worst of all we got bunyips, ring snakes and drop bears. Just walking in Oz is gonna get your leg bitten the f*ck off. Come at us, bro.
All enemies in 'Strayan (f*ck yeah!) territory suffer from attrition.

Unique Unit
Crocodile Calvalry

In 'Straya (f*ck yeah!) we are so used to crazy sh*t we just don't give a toss. Our ankle biters are riding crocs and roos to school, cuz why the f*ck not? It's a piece of piss to us. So when we get older we all get trained how to ride crocs all proper military like, to fend off all the boat people that like to come down-under to steal our jobs and bludge off the dole. During times of great crisis (like that time Bazza stole all our f*ckin' beers and his MILF mum, Shaz, wouldn't tell us where he was. We all jumped on our crocs and went searching for the c*nt. In the end, his head went this way and his legs went that way. Lesson f*ckin' learned). Anyways, where was I? Oh right. 'Straya! F*ck yeah! We ride crocs and sh*t.

Unique Building
VB Factory
No-one in 'Straya (f*ck yeah!) drinks this piss. Fair dinkum, it tastes like it came right out of an Emu's clacker. But they love it overseas. They're all like "OMG I LOVE YOUR BEER!" and we're like "Yeah..? Are you taking the piss right now? Great! F*ckin' take it. Take it all." So we don't get any bonus for puttin' one up, but it gives us a luxury we can trade for other shi*t. Them dumb f*ckers when we offer to trade VB for one of their luxuries, or they will just throw us more gold than normal.

 

[RageAmp]

An excellent civ whose abilities synergies very well. From the looks of it thought, it wouldn't be very good on a pangea map.

 

[AmtrakQuebec]

Where's the Cultural trait of shagging sheep?

 

[MooFreaky]

Where's the Cultural trait of shagging sheep?

Hey we aren't from New Zealand!!

 

[MooFreaky]

Where's the Cultural trait of shagging sheep?

SEXY SHEILAS
'Straya has an abundence of attractive females. To represent this taste 'Straya receives +1 amenity for each sheep resource in range of a city?

 

[AmtrakQuebec]

SEXY SHEILAS
'Straya has an abundence of attractive females. To represent this taste 'Straya receives +1 amenity for each sheep resource in range of a city?

What about the abundAnce of ugly Bruce's?

Shouldn't each Sheep resource be afraid of Bruce Almighty? Did I forget to mention that the 'Straya apostles are called Bruce Almighty? If you put one on a sheep resource, you lose it (a nice graphic of sheep scurrying away would be highly appropriate).

 

[daft]

Shouldn't the UU be kangaroo cavalry instead?
Great Leader: Crocodile Dundee? - oh yes, then it's got to be the crocs.

 

[MooFreaky]

Alternate Ideas


Unique Improvement:
Entertainment Station
'Straya is a big f*ckin' place. Easy to get lonely down here. Especially if you're one ugly Bruce. All them snot nosed Sheila's are all like "WTH you lookin' at, c*nt? Get the hell out of my bathroom. Who the f*ck are you?". Everyone's gotta get some love from somewhere. That's why we build big f*ckin' entertainment stations. Ya can only build them on a sheep resource, but they'll make ya f*ckin happy.

Unique Building:
Car Factory
'Strayan cars are bloody pearlers. Drivin' through the streets, dodging all the roos, in your Commodore (or a Falcon, whatever), wearing your flannels and smokin' a durry. Life doesn't get better. Sure they cost a f*cktonne to make, cuz half the workers are havin' sickies, but f*ck me they are bloody crackers. The 'Strayan Car Factory gives -5 to production, but it makes all the yobbos and bogans happy.