About your question/wish #2 (an extremely detailed build order), that can't be done, the variables are just too many. That's why the strategy articles you'll find on the various Civ3 sites always give principles and general build orders instead of specific ones. Your starting location alone can result in a huge divergence between settler creation and infrastructure build times from one game to the next, and thus right from the start a set build order becomes impossible.
To give an example of the problems with a specific build order, the map I played two games ago I started on a river with two cow resource squares and two other shield-enhanced grassland squares. Very nice, but...it was all downhill from there. To my northeast and northwest was all unirrigatable plains and mountains, to my west/southwest/south was a -vast- jungle, only to my southeast was there a decent spot for a second city (and I didn't find it until my fourth one). No generic build order would handle this map. I had to shift my entire gameplan (was playing Babylonian, wanted to build a strong core, tech up, then fight) to early offense just to capture enough AI cities to make up for my miserable start (neither my 2nd nor 3rd city could even produce settlers, now -that- is a bad start). So I had to switch very early from building settlers/infrastructure to building military units, and no set build order could have predicted when (or if) I needed to do that.