My class presentation is on the short-lived and profligate, whirligig presidency of President STEppen GYRoscopE (1640 election to 1740 impeachment). President Gyroscopes motto was always, Give the people what they want, especially if that can be done by spending other peoples money. He embarked on an ambitious campaign of public improvements most of them named after himself. (This explains why Courthouses in six different cities are all known as the Gyroscopic Memorial Courthouse of .) This led to a number of celebrations in various towns and cities, as Pres. Gyro brought home the pork.
Although this trend continued throughout his presidency, when public opinion reached its nadir shortly before his impeachment, there was a decided change in the sort of public works named after the President. Hence, the metropolises of both Cardiff and Muddy Gardens enjoy the Gyroscopic Sewer System.)
Hand-in-hand with his practice of large public works, President Gyroscope also had a penchant for drawing down the national treasury. The President, who was blessed with two scandal-prone children whom he always referred to, affectionately, as the ungrateful little snots, believed that a childs highest duty (and a parents best revenge) was to pay for the extravagances of the preceding generation. Therefore, he mortgaged the future of his and every other Celtic child to pay for his own indulgences.
A nutshell summary of Gyros accomplishments, in terms of units, improvements, and cash gained or lost (start to end; entries with only one number were unchanged):
Settlers: 13 to 8
Engineers: 2 to 22
Warriors: 8 to 4
Phalanx: 5 to 4
Archers: 2 to 3
Legion: 3 to 2
Musketeers: 1
Horsemen: 2 to 1
Elephants: 2
Crusaders: 1
Galleons: 11 to 10
Diplomats: 9 to 12
Caravans: 10 to 8
Cities: 28 to 31
Improvements
Temples: 27 to 28
Marketplaces: 20 to 22
Libraries: 3 to 4
Courthouses: 3 to 9
Aqueducts: 3 to 7
Banks: 3
Cathedrals: 7
Universities: 1
Colosseums: 0 to 2
Sewer Systems: 0 to 2
Harbors: 4 to 9
Gold: 2750 to 741
Year-by-year, President Gyroscopes accomplishments were as follows:
1640(0) Upon his election (or appointment by the chief judicial body, depending upon whom you asked), President Gyro consulted his transition team of able advisors:
Trade Minister ElephantU: Trade with the French!
Minister of State Old n Slow: Hows our reputation?
Interior Minister Golem: Infrastructure! We need banks, universities, caravans. Stop running a huge budget surplus!
War Minister TheViking: Prepare to subvert Ormuz; explore the Southern Hemisphere; teach our settlers some engineering.
If only the President listened to his advisors, but after the embarrassing Who-Pinched-My-Touche incident at his first state dinner, when ElephantU sat on TheVikings helmet, the President disbanded his entire cabinet and decided to go it alone. On the plus side, this meant that his former ministers retained viable political careers after the impeachment.
Overall (and principally with regard to the main continent), the President resolved to build courthouses anywhere they would cause the citizens to celebrate and to build engineers most other places. (If they arent likely to vote for me, Id like them out working on the railroad, where theyre not likely to be able to vote for anyone else, either.) He also pushed an expansion of the diplomatic corp (free-support dips) at the cost of the military (to replace shield-eating warriors).
On his first tour of the states, the President observes a Crusader under construction in Llangollen. Heck! They dont need that, here. Darn pork-barrel spending. He vetos the project (changed to engineer). Much later in his presidency, he will learn to regret this folly.
1650 (1) War was not good on the President. A diplomat was pummeled by a Carthaginian catapult; a caravan was sacked by a barbarian elephant. Barbarian uprising near Llangollen (elephants). Another diplomat bribed a barbarians elephant for a NONE unit. Ormuz (Mongol) recovered from disorder before it could be subverted, but a diplomat was standing by for the inevitable next time. A number of units were endangered by hostile military, so the President tried his hand at MGE diplomacy: Carthaginians: Begone (going to lose an ele); Americans: demand 1000 gp (a little steep, even to save a caravan no), they offer peace anyway (accept), make peace. (Celebrates this as great diplomatic victory.)
1660 (2) Delivered a silk caravan from Kells to Tours (200 gp); gems from Iona to Tours (72 gp not demanded but no ready access to anyplace they are demanded). Sad to say, but this was probably the first and last really good trade deal of Gyros presidency, and he promptly screwed up the ship chain that had made it possible. He alsoestablished spice trade route between Leos Canal and Darkhouse (32 gp demanded). An advanced tribe Cremona was discovered on a Southern island and welcomed into the empire. The Cremonians had already built their own temple and marketplace, so the President thought this represented a pretty good alliance. What a shame that a few years later, through the Presidents budget mismanagement, the Cremonians would be forced to sell their marketplace for upkeep. (Lost the Cremonian vote from then on.) Next time happened, as the Mongol city of Ormuz fell back into disorder, a local Celtic diplomat subverted the city without incident for 510 gp, getting 94 gp in return, as well as a number of units. (Disbanded two catapults to build temple and eliminate shield deficit.) Budget changed to 20/30/50.
1670 (3), 1680 (4) & 1690 (5) Nothing worth reporting happened. (Continued rush building improvements, and prb-ing to hurry along engineers.)
1700 (6) Americans complete Darwins Voyage, develop physics and economics. The bill for the unbuilt Llangollen Crusader comes due in part as a barbarian elephant (which cannot be bribed, because it is accompanied by a barb leader) slays a defending legion, settler and engineer (thats the engineer that was commissioned instead of the crusader . . . .) Cremona sells its Marketplace, because in the previous year, the President foolishly spent the entire treasury on various projects, and Cremona, which has a support cost of 2 gp, only produces 1 gp. Quickie builds Engineer and cannot support Galleon (disbanded for nothing). TheViking, who has become leader of the loyal opposition since his termination from the cabinet, states in a news conference, Our President is leading us down the sewer. When no one understands what he means by sewer, leading Celtic scientists go out and invent the concept. (It was easy, said chief researcher Nalph Rader. We just thought, The Pres. is a real turd! Wouldnt it be great if we had place to put turds? One thought led to another, and voila! President Gyro attempts to have Rader tried as French spy.) Celtic scientists turn their attention to industrialization. Budget changed to 40/10/50. In another great diplomatic moment, the President gives the Carthaginians the technology for both railroads and explosives to reach a ceasefire (camel has almost reached Carthage and is adjacent to Cartie musketeer) and trades Babylonians (receptive) railroad for economics.
1710 (7) Another diplomatic coup for the President: he brings the French and Americans together, as they sign a secret alliance against the Celts. The rest of the bill for the unbuilt Llangollen Crusader comes due as barbarians plunder Llangollen. Senator Viking introduces letters of impeachment, while the President seeks a diplomatic solution (rushed dip in nearby Aberystwyth). Two engineers near Muddy Gardens finish foresting some grassland that the President thought was suitable for mulberry trees (silk). President realizes he should have known better, when only scrub oak grows on the land; orders scrub oak cut down. (Press headlines: Presidents Up A Tree!) Cannae founded north of Bokhara Academy. France builds Adam Smiths. Hostile American Elephant (1 arrow) at the gates of Leos Canal demands explosives. President gives in and makes peace.
!720 (8) Coal caravan from Swansea finally delivered to Carthage (demanded): 57 gp. Llangollen bought back from barbarians for 104 gp.
1730 (9) Impeachment proceedings in full swing in the Senate. President denies ever knowing any interns and denies smoking or making any other use of cigars. Senators point out that President is actually on trial for substantive issues of office.
1740 (10) Removed from office.
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Mongols: Receptive peace -- stops to observe, "Isn't it a little ironic that everyone wants our head EXCEPT the Mongols?"
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