Now listen up folks, 'cause old brother Jimcat has got something to say.
I've been analyzed, baptized, criticized, hypnotized, downsized, and immunized. I've got high with preachers and been saved by drunks. I've been born again and legally dead, and I've seen the trailers for the afterlife -- both versions, the rated and unrated. I saw God in a dream and Elvis in a diner. I've carried the cross, made the hajj, meditated on the mountain, and been abducted by aliens.
And I'M HERE TO TELL YOU, YES YOU, that NO MATTER WHAT YOU BELIEVE, only one thing matters.
Ladies and Gentlemen and Small Furry Creatures, what you need to do is KEEP YOUR SLACK.
It ain't easy to keep your slack. There are all sorts of people trying to take it away. Your GOVERNMENT is spying on you. Your EMPLOYER is reading your e-mails. Your MOTHER wants to throw away your CD's. Your LANDLORD wants to raise your rent. And your LAWN needs mowing. Even your GOD has some big thick book of Do's and Don'ts.
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT? Because you're just going to go to bed with a headache and die broke if you don't do SOMETHING!
But it's OKAY, folks, it's all OKAY.
Beacuse
Kibo has a message for you. And that message is: "SIL"!
What? You say you don't understand?
OF COURSE you don't. But that's okay too. YOU'RE ALLOWED.
That's the OTHER message I've got for you. YOU'RE ALLOWED.
You don't have to fill out some useless STATUS REPORT when there is REAL WORK to be done. You don't have to BUY A CAR that costs MORE THAN A YEAR'S INCOME. You don't have to GIVE UP BACON because SOME PEOPLE GOT TRICHINOSIS THREE THOUSAND YEARS AGO. And you don't have to let SOMEONE ELSE tell you ANYTHING about your SOUL.
This ain't about religion, folks, and it ain't about politcs. It's about YOUR LIFE.
You don't have to let THE GOVERNMENT tell you how to live! YOU'RE ALLOWED!
You don't have to let THE BIBLE tell you how to live! YOU'RE ALLOWED!
You don't have to let TELEVISION tell you how to live! YOU'RE ALLOWED!
You don't have to let YOUR PARENTS tell you how to live! YOU'RE ALLOWED!
Now put down that BOOK, cut that CABLE, unplug that INTERNET CONNECTION, turn off that MUSIC, and put out the CAT.
Okay? Now take a deep breath and...
THINK!
Whoa! Pretty heavy stuff. But that's nothing compared to the next step.
Get up on your feet. Take a step. Very good. Now take another.
Ouch! You should have OPENED that door. I told you to THINK. Don't worry, you'll get the hang of it after a while.
Okay, now step out that door, take a look at the world around you, and -- this is the important part --
LIVE!
You've got your LIFE, you've got your MIND, and if you're lucky, you've got your SLACK. Now it's up to YOU to use them.
Don't let yourself down, now.