Quest for the ring

[Silica_Pathways]

My problem is pretty simple, yet pretty hard.

I'm thinking about proposing my girlfriend
The problem - i'm kinda poor and so i cannot afford decent ring for her And i can not use a cheap one in this case, as it's a serious matter of prestige

Spoiler :

I'm in conservative rightist party and most of my friends and relatives thinks the same way, so getting married must be more or less done by the traditions, otherwise it'll damage my and my love's prestige/status.

So i'm searching for a solution, how could i get a good ring, so i could propose her.


I've already thought about 8 following solutions:

Spoiler :

[Legal]
- getting money via legal work (Would take MUCH time, as i don't really have any good qualifications or sth)
- borrowing money (Who'd lend money to such poor guy as me, lol ? Unrealistic option, imo).
- searchng for good bargain in antiquity market/shops (still it would cost pretty much and would take some hefty amount of time)
- using help of some known smiths (cheaper solution, but quality could be bad in the end)


[Illegal]
- robbing people's houses in low security areas (real risk, unknown time needed)
- shoplifting (pretty risky, small time needed)
- graverobbing (medium risk, yet it would take very much time)
- illegal 'archeology' via friend's metal detector (small risk, yet it could take huge time)

So i need your thoughts on my problem. What solution i should choose ?

And more possible solutions if u can think of any...

 

[Erik Mesoy]

Make one yourself? Metal wire and macrame (4 wide, flip the threads halfway) should get you a very nice hand-crafted ring, and seems cheaper.

 

[Silica_Pathways]

Make one yourself? Metal wire and macrame (4 wide, flip the threads halfway) should get you a very nice hand-crafted ring, and seems cheaper.

I doubt about such item's quality, as i lack any handcrafting skills that are necessary.
Although i'm aware of the additional nonmaterial worth the item gains, when it's made by oneself

 

[chinesefireball]

I think your best bet is too scounge around at second hand shops/antiques. Or maybe find a family heirloom, and start of a tradition

 

[Erik Mesoy]

Basic macrame doesn't require many handcrafting skills, and you can try it with some ordinary thread to get started. Here's a link: http://www.elainecraft.com/instructions/instruc.sq.html

Repeat that for a while, and you'll end up with something like this without the colors:

Adapt thread/wire length and thickness and necessary, looping around and knotting back into the top of the thread/wire to get a ring. Flip the inner and outer threads too, if you like. It's quite simple once you get used to it - I used a 16-thread frame to make myself a rope belt once.

 

[Maimonides]

Forget the illegal means. Your prestige will suffer far more by being a thief & going to jail than it will by using a cheap engagement ring. Especially since your peer group is so conservative.

I'm sorry, but I have to say that you should have some savings built up for this before getting engaged. My wife & I dated for three years in large part because I needed to save the funds for the engagement & the downpayment for a home. Another reason you should have some savings is that a wife is a big responsibility. If she becomes ill or you become unemployed, you can't just shrug & say, "oh well, I'm broke."

Be financially & emotionally prepared for marriage.

 

[Valka D'Ur]

Have you asked your family for advice (not a handout, just advice)? You never know... there may be a family heirloom sitting around, just waiting for an occasion such as this.

Making the ring yourself is a great idea, if you have any crafting skills. But I strongly suggest you not do it out of macrame -- that's fine for belts or necklaces, but completely unsuitable for a ring. For one thing, it won't stay on. For another thing, if it should happen to stay on, it won't be comfortable. It's pretty much impossible to have a completely smooth side to a macrame knot.

What kind of ring is customary for your particular society? If it's the traditional gold and diamonds, you need to start saving your money. If you can choose something else, you have some leeway.

But in the final analysis, it's not what your families or political peers think that matters. They're not the person you want to marry. And if your girlfriend considers the price tag on her ring more important than the fact that she's getting you, you're better off without her.


BTW, it's a myth that "diamonds are a girl's best friend." I've never cared for diamonds, and I don't own much gold jewelry at all (a couple of rings and a necklace). I'm partial to copper and silver (metals) and emeralds, sapphires, pearls, or topaz.

You should really find out what your girlfriend likes, though -- no point in buying an expensive ring if she won't like it.

 

[Silica_Pathways]

Forget the illegal means. Your prestige will suffer far more by being a thief & going to jail than it will by using a cheap engagement ring. Especially since your peer group is so conservative.

I'm sorry, but I have to say that you should have some savings built up for this before getting engaged. My wife & I dated for three years in large part because I needed to save the funds for the engagement & the downpayment for a home. Another reason you should have some savings is that a wife is a big responsibility. If she becomes ill or you become unemployed, you can't just shrug & say, "oh well, I'm broke."

Be financially & emotionally prepared for marriage.

It's just betrothal for now. For all the big wedding i will just save up money, as it will surely be very expensive.

But in the final analysis, it's not what your families or political peers think that matters. They're not the person you want to marry. And if your girlfriend considers the price tag on her ring more important than the fact that she's getting you, you're better off without her.

No, it's more like that i don't want that it would look like she's marrying a complete bum x_x

 

[MOTH]

A guideline / tradition around here is that you spend 2 x your monthly salary on a engagement ring. In my case I spend several hundred US$ when I bought my wife her engagement ring as I was still in college and not earning much money.

Much later (for our 15th wedding aniversary) we upgraded the ring using the original diamond with additional stones in a new setting.

For our actual wedding rings, we each had heirlooms. Her ring had been her Mother's, GrandMother's, and Great Grandmother's wedding ring. Mine had been my Dad's. We now have 2 boys, so unless we have a girl the wedding ring will have to skip a generation.

 

[TheDervish]

Whatever you do, don't do what the main character did in the movie "Crimson Gold".

 

[Fugitive Sisyphus]

A guideline / tradition around here is that you spend 2 x your monthly salary on a engagement ring. In my case I spend several hundred US$ when I bought my wife her engagement ring as I was still in college and not earning much money.

I have a solution. Quit your job. Your monthly salary is now $0. Twice $0 is $0. After she accepts proposal, find new job.

But seriously, if she loves you she should marry you whether or not you can afford to buy an expensive ring and you both should be happy. I would however advise you to buy a nice ring for an anniversary once you have more money.



warning: Advice is from gut feeling, not experience.

 

[Abaddon]

What happened to the rule it should cost you a months wages?

If your months wages are teeny tiny, get one suitable

If your not finacially stable, how can you propose marrage and expect a yes?

 

[Stolen Rutters]

OK, seriously, save for it. Where I live, the standard is twice your monthly income. That ring is a symbol of how much you are willing to sacrifice for her. However, some families hand down wedding rings from the older generations (wedding rings as heirlooms). It depends what culture your ancestors are from which of these is more sentimental. In both cases, the ring is a symbol of completeness, an unbroken union.

What political party you belong to should have no bearing on how much you spend on a ring. That is definitely a foreign concept to me.

Where I am from, you start life with little money/lots of time, but income rises over the years as you gain skills (college degree/learn a trade) and experience. As other posters mentioned, a simple ring with a single stone can be upgraded later in life with more stones and a replacement setting. It's common to have a beautiful but basic ring if you marry young, only to upgrade the ring after ten or fifteen years of marriage. It is a symbol of your growing love over the years.

These are some symbols of the wedding ring in Michigan. There are so many cultures from so many countries that a wedding ring carries many symbols, many meanings. One is most important: Sacrifice for her. That is the big one.

Most people start life "poor". Everybody I know started adulthood with massive school debts and low incomes. That situation changes if you gain skills. Sacrifice, work and save; that is the path to a fulfilling life. That is the path to getting that ring.

edit - I agree the heirloom idea is cheaper. That may be the way to go for you.

 

[scy12]

I don't know how you would like the idea but have you considered asking your parents to Give you one of their rings ? Hell if you would like , tell it to the girl she may like the idea . Or think you are selfish with money.

 

[The Yankee]

You could always use an onion ring.

Or try eBay.

Now if you really want to head to a local jeweler, then save for it. Before you know it, you should have enough for something that looks nice, even if it isn't 100% authentic.

 

[MobBoss]

My problem is pretty simple, yet pretty hard.

I'm thinking about proposing my girlfriend
The problem - i'm kinda poor and so i cannot afford decent ring for her And i can not use a cheap one in this case, as it's a serious matter of prestige

Spoiler :

I'm in conservative rightist party and most of my friends and relatives thinks the same way, so getting married must be more or less done by the traditions, otherwise it'll damage my and my love's prestige/status.

So i'm searching for a solution, how could i get a good ring, so i could propose her.


I've already thought about 8 following solutions:

Spoiler :

[Legal]
- getting money via legal work (Would take MUCH time, as i don't really have any good qualifications or sth)
- borrowing money (Who'd lend money to such poor guy as me, lol ? Unrealistic option, imo).
- searchng for good bargain in antiquity market/shops (still it would cost pretty much and would take some hefty amount of time)
- using help of some known smiths (cheaper solution, but quality could be bad in the end)


[Illegal]
- robbing people's houses in low security areas (real risk, unknown time needed)
- shoplifting (pretty risky, small time needed)
- graverobbing (medium risk, yet it would take very much time)
- illegal 'archeology' via friend's metal detector (small risk, yet it could take huge time)

So i need your thoughts on my problem. What solution i should choose ?

And more possible solutions if u can think of any...

Reading this I have to ask what makes you think you're ready to be married? I mean, having an aversion to legally working to earn money for a ring, while seriously contemplating illegal activities isnt exactly the qualities a woman looks for in a husband-to-be.

My advice is this. Get a job. Work hard, make some money. If you love the girl, she should be more than worth it. If not, dont even bother proposing...

 

[Love]

Reading this I have to ask what makes you think you're ready to be married? I mean, having an aversion to legally working to earn money for a ring, while seriously contemplating illegal activities isnt exactly the qualities a woman looks for in a husband-to-be.

My advice is this. Get a job. Work hard, make some money. If you love the girl, she should be more than worth it. If not, dont even bother proposing...

Now you said something true...

 

[The Yankee]

Reading this I have to ask what makes you think you're ready to be married? I mean, having an aversion to legally working to earn money for a ring, while seriously contemplating illegal activities isnt exactly the qualities a woman looks for in a husband-to-be.

My advice is this. Get a job. Work hard, make some money. If you love the girl, she should be more than worth it. If not, dont even bother proposing...

QFT. If this odd status competition in getting rings really worries you, then you'll put in the effort to make sure you come out ahead. Just don't forget the reason why you're even in this competition anyway.

Hint: That would be your soon-to-be fiancee.

 

[GoodGame]

Apprentice as a metal / jewelry smith. Too easy.

 

[Perfection]

Over the next few months slowly move your relationship into heavy S&M then you can get away with a leather collar instead of a ring.