RAR Viking Kulade Adventure Thing!

[kulade]

Played with RAR!!!
Meet the Charachers
Characters will be added or subtracted the more the story progresses!

Me! The main character!

Domestic Advisor, Elvis!

Trade Advisor, normal stupid civ3 advisor.
Forgien Advisor, Bagdad Bob!

Military Advisor, Arnuld!

Cultural Advisor, Kool-Aid man [Not Kulade]

Science Advisor, Normal civ 3 guy.
Stupid Worker, see name
Mongols, Temujin.
Champion, a champion!


4000 BC

Kool-aid man: Oh great king, Birka has been founded!

Me: Good now get the champain!

Pitiful Peasant: Sir, look there is a small village to the north west!

Stupid Worker: I'll go get it, it might be treasure!

Me: No! Build a road!

Stupid Worker: Why? You ain't the boss of me!

Me: If you do the barbarians that own the place will rip you to shreads and suck out your inards, thay have weapons of mass destruction and support terrorism.! And then you will look stupid in front of the Princess!

Stupid Worker: Yes King Kulade. <begins building road.>

3880 BC
Elvis: Kulade, Birka has made a Champion.

Me: Good, tell him to go rampage the goody hut.

Champion: Onwards! <steps on goody hut> Darndit! Only 25 gold.

3700:

Champion: Behold! A desert!

Stupid Worker: Behold. ...i'm building a road... damnit

Mongolian Scout: Behold! It is Birka! We will burn thier crops, pillage thier land and rape thier livestock!

<Michael Jackson music starts playing>

Me: ...ummm, I forgort I put that in music.txt...

Temujin: Hello, Viking sugar-processed barbarian! I'll teach your ignorant and rediculously stupid people alphabet, if you teach up intelgent ones boat building... ...for a small price of 47 gold.

Me: What da Freak? Do you think I'm stupid?

Temujin: Yes.

Me: Well I'll... <forgien advisor leans over to me>

Bagdad Bob: There are no warriors in Mongolia, no warriors at all.

Temujin: So, can I kill you now?

Me: No!

Temujin: I tell you what, you give me boat building, and I give you 10 gold and my daughter's hand i marrage!

Bagdad Bob: There are no daughters in Mongolia no daughters at all.

Me: Does she look like you?

CRASH!

Arnuld: <bust through the wall> Mista president, ther es sum truble ahht tha capital. <grabs Kulade by the shirt and pulls him out the wall>


[Ancouncervoice]Will Kulade triumph over the mongols? Will the champion find something good in a goody hut? Will the stupid worker impress the princess? And what the freak is the value of pi? Tune in next time for...[/anouncervoice]

[bigvoice]RAR Viking Kulade Adventure Thing![/bigvoice]

Too be continued...

 

[El Loco]

looks promising

 

[kulade]

Great, my first reply in a day. I promise the next post will be better, he he. I'll be more specific, or what ever.

 

[kulade]

The epic returns!

Arnuld: <Breaks through the palace walls with me in his hands> Lookh!

My Civ3 default trade advisor was sitting on my couch eating my beef jerky!

Me: What the freak is goin' on here?

Civ3 Trade Advisor: Nothing...

Me: IS THAT MY BEEF JERKY? YOU'RE FIRED!

I had just fired my trade advisor. But I didn't need her, all she did was tell me to "aquire more resources and

luxuries." I would have to find a replacement.

3500 BC

Champion: Finaly an other goody hut. <steps on it>

Science dude: An Angle tribe has taught us Sailing.

3250 BC

Ceasar of the Romans: Please let me rip off a mooch off of your kuladey gooness!

Me: Sure, i'ts better than those mongols...

3000 BC- 2900 BC

Champion: Alas! Arabia!

The Champion stumbles into the second largest city of Arabia, Medina, in search of a good drink and toliet paper. Still well-armed, he walks past the guards at the front of the city walls. It was a small town with forgien architecture, spire flew into the sky from buildings. First thing he does is stop by the local bathhouse and gets some paper, but then he heads to the pub. He approches a bartender inside the city pub.

Champion: Lay me down the hardest crap you can fix up.

BArtender: Bora!moranora?orato?razo!ragorabora?bora!borakora?

Champion: El no comprende es spanish?

The Champion ignores the language diifence andmakes himself a drink. He repays the bartender with a chicken he had been keeping. He drank more and more and more and more until he saw himself puke out a kidney. The room started to blur. The whole bar was looking at him like he was a freak.

Champion: Thop tharing ath me!

He clumsily put his hand to his sword and drew it out.

Bartender: What the freak? That drunk bastard's going to kill us all!

And to make a long story short... ...he did! So me (Kulade) decided to give him an official name unstead of "chapion": umm... Lawrence!

In other news, Birka creates a Hardy Clan!

2710 BC

Trondehim Founded!

Me: Elvis, scedule tryouts for the new trade advisor tomorrow!


Bam, bom, bum...

To be continued...

Next time on rarkuladevikingadventure, Kulade interviews people for the Trade Advisor tryouts while Lawence conitues his campain against the Arabs!

Tune in Next time!

 

[Mistfit]

Lmao...keep it up