Ren
Communist Nazi
Originally posted by Caligastia
Strewth mate, ask her her for a root in the dunny...
LOL
Why are you using Aussie slang though, "Are you from the land downunder?"
Relationship Advice
- Thread starter Simon Darkshade
- Start date
LOL
Why are you using Aussie slang though, "Are you from the land downunder?"
KnightOfNi
Warlord
Moderator Action: Let's keep it clean.
Please read the forum rules: http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?t=422889
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Leowind
Emperor
Simon, how relieved I am to see your evilness remain intact. 'Twould truly have been a sad day in the realm of CFC to see you succumb to the wiles of the "fairer" sex (been married to one for 15 years, and there ain't nothing "fair" about 'em). I will rest easier at night knowing that the demented mind of one Simon Darkshade is still working comfortably completely outside the bounds of normal decency and civility.
knowltok2
Deity
So it was a rather normal Monday in February, right? I gets up, easts some breakfast, the general routine. How was I supposed to know that one of the things I count upon as certain in this world would fall today?
My day progressed as normal, and then I decided to check CFC since I hadn't been on in a couple of days. I check a few threads, post a thought on short track speedskating, and then what to my wondering eyes should apear, but a thread entitled, "Relationship Advice", authored by Simon Darkshade. Now I must admit that I was caught off guard at first, but my rationalization kicked in and I figured it was just a plot of the evil one. So i clicked on the link to see what devilishness ol' SD had up his sleeve today. Those who have read this far can imagine, and I suspect have already felt, my surprise. SD letting his guard down? SD having a crush? What was this? It rocked me to my core. I quickly stood up and jumped to validate that gravity was still functioning. I then ran to a window (gravity was working, and I was back on the ground) to observe the sun. I saw that it was there, and started to turn away, but then turned back and watched for a bit to make sure it was going in the right direction. You'll have to pardon any typos since I still have those sunspots in front of my eyes.
Well all the qucik checks of objective reality were behind me, and still this thread was here describing the unthinkable. I am praying that this incident has really passed, and was just a fleeting fancy. God knows i wouldn't want to loose my position as Minister for Women and other Alien Races when SD takes over the world.
My day progressed as normal, and then I decided to check CFC since I hadn't been on in a couple of days. I check a few threads, post a thought on short track speedskating, and then what to my wondering eyes should apear, but a thread entitled, "Relationship Advice", authored by Simon Darkshade. Now I must admit that I was caught off guard at first, but my rationalization kicked in and I figured it was just a plot of the evil one. So i clicked on the link to see what devilishness ol' SD had up his sleeve today. Those who have read this far can imagine, and I suspect have already felt, my surprise. SD letting his guard down? SD having a crush? What was this? It rocked me to my core. I quickly stood up and jumped to validate that gravity was still functioning. I then ran to a window (gravity was working, and I was back on the ground) to observe the sun. I saw that it was there, and started to turn away, but then turned back and watched for a bit to make sure it was going in the right direction. You'll have to pardon any typos since I still have those sunspots in front of my eyes.
Well all the qucik checks of objective reality were behind me, and still this thread was here describing the unthinkable. I am praying that this incident has really passed, and was just a fleeting fancy. God knows i wouldn't want to loose my position as Minister for Women and other Alien Races when SD takes over the world.
Caligastia
Space Cadet
Im from the land down down under. - New Zealand
andycapp
Grumpy Old Griper
Simon, I think Caligastia's advice was not only succinct but to the point - although I do wonder if he realises you're talking about a woman and not a
! 
ApocalypseKurtz
Man, myth, legend
LOL Rmsharpe is right! For once!
Caligastia
Space Cadet
Originally posted by andycapp
Simon, I think Caligastia's advice was not only succinct but to the point - although I do wonder if he realises you're talking about a woman and not a
No, you take a
to the edge of a cliff - that way they push back better.andycapp
Grumpy Old Griper
Originally posted by Caligastia
No, you take a
Quoting from the Karma Sutra (Kiwi edition)!
Simon Darkshade
Mysterious City of Gold
Very well, now my evil amusement at the situation has waned sufficiently for the truth of the matter to come out. The timing and dates involved in the original post are not exactly 100% accurate; in that this even did not happen on Saturday night, but rather exactly 5 years previous to that very day.
The events and feelings did occur to the then fifteen and a half year old schoolboy named Darkshade, and did comprise a break away from monkish detachment from society. It never eventuated in anything that can be mentioned in this public forum, but was the trigger of many things. What was it that good ol' Iosef Dzugashvili said after the death of his first wife, "With her died all my positive feelings for the human race". The results of that little fling were, after contemplation, the embarking upon the path of solitude and deliberate abstinence.
Now this is so much against the grain for a teenager in society to do, to resolve to opt out of the mating game and all its permutations, that it is one of the caveats of why one can call oneself "evil", in this situation.
This is working on the definition of "evil" or "monstrosity" being that which distinctly differs from the dominant paridigm encouraged by society.
I have yet to encounter anyone in my personal dealings who does not regard this decision of lifestyle as alien, and often dangerous. But it matters not to me.
I do look back upon those years (97 and 98) as probably the best I have had, for various reasons (I am being deliberately vague throughout this, and subtly changing details so that if the eventuality of someone who knows one in the flesh reading this were to occur, they would not be able to discern any identities or details from it. This is done out of consideration to the privacy, etc, of the various other parties involved. But I digress)
I do not mourn their passing spectacularly, nor dwell morbidly upon them.
I do recognize they had some impact upon one's life, and I am a bit of a stickler for observing various anniversaries and pertinent dates. So this is my way of perversely celebrating something that once occured, that is long gone and buried, but which I look upon fondly as the flower of ones youth.
The first two posts were rather garbled, being done late of an evening (more like a morning actually), when inspiration grabbed one after arriving home from an extended evening spent debating surface warships with all and sundry.
The motivation for this exercise can be compared to laying a wreath or the like, not for visible purposes, but mainly for personal commemeration.
The advice tendered here was all common sense that I would agree with if I was that way inclined, but of little use to me now. I am putting it aside, however, for when time travel is made available to this race, when I shall conspire to place it in my own hand sometime in mid February 1997, along with some choice advice of my own.
This was not an attention grabbing exercise, nor a public whingefest on "Why am I so lonely? No one will ever love me. Poor me." To me, such attitudes and regrets are among the most pointless in the world.
I have chosen my path, and I do not regret it. I do remember the past with some wistfulness, particularly tinged by events in the past year or so, which reinforced to me the value and importance of memories.
My path is deliberately difficult, lonely and beset with difficulty, but I have my reasons; some of them emerged in this period. But I do look upon it in the manner of the oft quoted words of Robert Frost:
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
And so, therefore, dear friends, the purpose of this exercise has been somewhat revealed. It was the musings of an evil, cold, calculating genius with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for Civ2, who, in the midst of conniving, torturing, and mastering the food caravan trick, keeps space in his dark heart for memories of a past world that will never again be. It was not the silly moaning of some gormless "pussy" (I believe that word was bandied about) in the market for a quick root/ fulfilling long term relationship.
That is all for now. Gentlemen, to evil!
The events and feelings did occur to the then fifteen and a half year old schoolboy named Darkshade, and did comprise a break away from monkish detachment from society. It never eventuated in anything that can be mentioned in this public forum, but was the trigger of many things. What was it that good ol' Iosef Dzugashvili said after the death of his first wife, "With her died all my positive feelings for the human race". The results of that little fling were, after contemplation, the embarking upon the path of solitude and deliberate abstinence.
Now this is so much against the grain for a teenager in society to do, to resolve to opt out of the mating game and all its permutations, that it is one of the caveats of why one can call oneself "evil", in this situation.
This is working on the definition of "evil" or "monstrosity" being that which distinctly differs from the dominant paridigm encouraged by society.
I have yet to encounter anyone in my personal dealings who does not regard this decision of lifestyle as alien, and often dangerous. But it matters not to me.
I do look back upon those years (97 and 98) as probably the best I have had, for various reasons (I am being deliberately vague throughout this, and subtly changing details so that if the eventuality of someone who knows one in the flesh reading this were to occur, they would not be able to discern any identities or details from it. This is done out of consideration to the privacy, etc, of the various other parties involved. But I digress)
I do not mourn their passing spectacularly, nor dwell morbidly upon them.
I do recognize they had some impact upon one's life, and I am a bit of a stickler for observing various anniversaries and pertinent dates. So this is my way of perversely celebrating something that once occured, that is long gone and buried, but which I look upon fondly as the flower of ones youth.
The first two posts were rather garbled, being done late of an evening (more like a morning actually), when inspiration grabbed one after arriving home from an extended evening spent debating surface warships with all and sundry.
The motivation for this exercise can be compared to laying a wreath or the like, not for visible purposes, but mainly for personal commemeration.
The advice tendered here was all common sense that I would agree with if I was that way inclined, but of little use to me now. I am putting it aside, however, for when time travel is made available to this race, when I shall conspire to place it in my own hand sometime in mid February 1997, along with some choice advice of my own.
This was not an attention grabbing exercise, nor a public whingefest on "Why am I so lonely? No one will ever love me. Poor me." To me, such attitudes and regrets are among the most pointless in the world.
I have chosen my path, and I do not regret it. I do remember the past with some wistfulness, particularly tinged by events in the past year or so, which reinforced to me the value and importance of memories.
My path is deliberately difficult, lonely and beset with difficulty, but I have my reasons; some of them emerged in this period. But I do look upon it in the manner of the oft quoted words of Robert Frost:
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
And so, therefore, dear friends, the purpose of this exercise has been somewhat revealed. It was the musings of an evil, cold, calculating genius with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for Civ2, who, in the midst of conniving, torturing, and mastering the food caravan trick, keeps space in his dark heart for memories of a past world that will never again be. It was not the silly moaning of some gormless "pussy" (I believe that word was bandied about) in the market for a quick root/ fulfilling long term relationship.
That is all for now. Gentlemen, to evil!
CurtSibling
ENEMY ACE™
- Joined
- Aug 31, 2001
- Messages
- 29,455
Simon, you plumb depths or darkness most men cannot contemplate!
PS
Nice quote from Stalin,
But Joe seems like a doe-eyed innocent compared to Australia's arch-despot!
PS
Nice quote from Stalin,
But Joe seems like a doe-eyed innocent compared to Australia's arch-despot!
duke o' york
It don't mean a thing....
Originally posted by Simon Darkshade
And now, if you will excuse me, I must be off to flog my pageboy
Is this going to be a Dutch auction, or a traditional one? What's the reserve price? Will it be on Ebay, or on a pub table? I need someone to iron my work clothes and I reckon I've got enough room in the shed for an infant to sleep. Please post more details of this slave auction, and less of this silly nonsense that is entirely incredible.
Simon Darkshade
Mysterious City of Gold
I'm terribly sorry, but I am now in the market for a new pageboy myself, as the old one died of the beating alluded to previously. But he perished doing what he loved
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