SaaMsan gets really really bored, so he and his interns have a musical number for everyone!
The interns walk on stage, decked in odd clothes. They seem to be wearing funny hats and coats with tails. Some have canes. SaaMsan is dressed as both a respectable man and a crazed maniac
SaaMsan: And now, for your viewing pleasure, we present: MURDER!
INTERN 1
Read about the 'ideous murder,
Profane, religious murder!
GENTLEMAN INTERN 2:
The poor old bishop,
What a shock!
INTERN 3:
Seen walkin' wiv 'is daughter,
A moment prior to slaughter!
INTERN 1:
The shepherd tendin' to 'is flock!
ALL INTERNS:
'E died in a London slum -
A slave to martyrdom -
'E died without complaint! -
'E should be made a saint! -
'E's gone back 'ome to God! -
It all seems very odd! -
Why should it be,
This mystery? -
Murder, murder -
In the night air!
Murder, murder -
It's a nightmare!
Murder, murder -
It's a right scare,
Bloody murder
In the night!
Murder, murder -
Makes your heart thump!
Murder, murder -
Makes your nerves jump!
Murder, murder -
Makes your blood pump,
Bloody murder
In the night!
ALL INTERNS BUT 14:
Dona Eis, Requiem
INTERN 14:
Sweet death has taken
This brave man from us!
ALL INTERNS BUT 14:
Requiem Aeternam
INTERN 14:
Friends, take what comfort
That you can from us!
ALL INTERNS BUT 14:
Dona Eis, Domine...
Evil SaaMsan:
General Glossop, I'm happy to inform you that you are relieved of your duties, sir. All of them!
INTERN 4:
Look at this, another murder,
Just like the other murder!
That's poor old General Glossop, dead!
INTERN 1:
Last week the bishop copped it!
The bloke what done it 'opped it!
That feller must be off 'is 'ead!
INTERN 2:
That's two in the last four days!
This killer has fancy ways!
INTERN 4:
To kill outside St. Paul's
Requires a lotta balls!
INTERN 5:
He hates the upper class!
INTERN 6:
He must be on 'is arse!
ALL INTERNS:
Who could he be?
INTERN 2:
Don't look at me!
ALL INTERNS:
"Bloody murder
In the night!"
Murder, murder -
Doin' folks in -
Murder, murder -
Is the worst sin!
Murder, murder -
Has me screamin'
"Bloody murder
In the night!"
Murder, murder -
Makes me blood thin!
Murder, murder -
Makes me 'ead spin!
Murder, murder -
Starts me drinkin'!
Bloody murder
In the night!"
In the night!"
Evil SaaMsan:
Bessie, my love... You really should be more careful...wearing your real diamonds out on the street. You never know whom you might encounter!
Rich Interns and Poor Interns (those who do SaaMsans Paperwork and those who slack off):
London has a killer on the loose!
Could be a gang!
Gotta get 'is 'ead inside a noose!
The man must hang!
ALL INTERNS:
Maybe his nerve will fail him! -
They've gotta try to nail him! -
They've gotta trail an' jail him,
Now!
Murder!
No matter who we're blamin'
Till they pull wot's-'is-name in,
There's gonna be one flamin'
Row!
Murder, murder -
It's a curse, man!
Murder, murder -
It's perverse, man!
Murder, murder -
Nothing's worse than
Bloody murder
In the night!
Evil SaaMsan:
Bad news from God, Teddy!
INTERN 1:
Read about the worst two murders - !
INTERN 2:
Much worse than the first two murders!
ALL INTERNS:
That makes it murders three and four!
(VARIOUSLY)
They've murdered dear old Bessie! -
I hear it extremely messy! -
And poor old Archie is no more! -
INTERN 7:
They say a lot of blood and gore!
ALL INTERNS:
That's four in the last eight days!
It's London's latest craze!
INTERN 2:
this time 'e was in Perk Lane!
An' 'e may come back again!
INTERNS 7,8,9:
Until the killers found,
There's danger all around!
ALL INTERNS:
What can we do?
What can we do?
What can we do?
We wish we knew!
VARIOUS INTERNS:
Catchin' such a madman could be hard! -
He'll kill! -
At will! -
Cos they're all so thick at Scotland Yard! -
No brains! -
No skill! -
ALL INTERNS:
He'll kill us, if we let him!
They'd better go and get him!
I know a way to net him! -
How?
Murder!
No matter who we're blamin'
Till they pull wot's-'is-name in,
There's gonna be
There's gonna be
There's gonna be a flamin'
Row!
Murder, murder -
Or our doorstep!
Murder, murder -
So watch your step!
Murder, murder -
Take one more step,
You'll be murdered
In the night!
Murder, murder -
Once there's one done -
Murder, murder -
Can't be undone!
Murder, murder -
Lives in London! -
Bloody murder
In the night!
In the night!
EDIT: "Murder, Murder" from "Jekyll and Hyde" (
Original Cast Recording) My directors doing this one this year.
Well, he presence is requested in the Judicial Branch also, so if he shows up, please send him over there when he's done.
Awesome show, SaaMsan. 
