Santa's existence

[Swiss Bezerker]

http://physics.about.com/od/cristmasphysics/a/PhysicsofSanta.htm
Can the Jolly Fat Man really exist?
This essay appears in many places on the internet, with no obvious author. I have modified it slightly to SI units and fixed a few terms that bugged the physics pedant within me

1) There are 2 billion children in the world (persons under 18), but since Santa doesn't (appear) to handle Muslim, Hindu, Jewish, or Buddhist children, or even many christian groups, that reduces the workload by 85% of the total - leaving 378 million according to the Population Reference Bureau. Furthermore, since the introduction of the Gregorian Calendar, the orthodox religions and the catholic religions disagree on when December 25th happens, meaning Santa has two Christmas eves to distribute gifts over. Lets assume that the split is roughly even, meaning Santa has 189 million children to deal with each night.

2)At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per household, that's 45.9 million homes. One presumes there is at least one good child per house.

3) Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the different times zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 411.3 visits per second. This is to say that for each Christian household with good children, Santa has 1/500 th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stocking, distribute the remaining presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left, get back up the chimney, get back into the sleigh and move on to the next house. Assuming that each of these 45.9 million stops are evenly distributed around the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but for the purposes of our calculations we will accept), we are now talking about 3km per household, a total trip of 120 million kilometers, not counting stops to do what most of us do at least once every 31 hours, plus feeding, etc. That means that Santa's sleigh is moving at 1040 miles per second, 3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest man-made objects - depp space probes like Voyager one travel at around 20 kilometers per second - a conventional reindeer can run, at top speed, 24 kilometers per hour.

4) The payload on the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming each child get nothing more than a medium-sized Lego set (1 kg), the sleigh is carrying 189 million kilograms, not counting Santa, who is invariably described as overweight. On land, conventional reindeer can pull no more than 150 kg. Even granting the "flying reindeer" can pull TEN TIMES that normal amount, we cannot do the job with eight, or even nine. We need 107,100 reindeer. As the typical January weight of a reindeer is about 60kg, this increases the payload - not even counting the weight of the sleigh to 195 million kilograms (not accounting for the fact that Santa's reindeer are probably better fed during winter than their wild counterparts. Again, for comparison, this is twice the weight of the Queen Elizabeth II.

5) Any object traveling at 1040 miles per second creates enormous air resistance. This will heat the reindeer up in the same fashion as spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair will absorb 14.3 QUINTILLION joules of energy per second, each. In short, they will burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer behind them, and creating a deafening sonic boom in their wake. The entire reindeer team will be vaporized in 4.26 thousandths of a second. Santa meanwhile, will be subject to an average acceleration 8700 times greater than gravity as the sleigh speeds up and slows down between stops. A 120kg pound Santa (which seems ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by an average force of 10 million newtons.

In conclusion, if Santa ever DID deliver presents of Christmas Eve, he's now dead. (This will be something you can tell your kids someday!)

You heard that, instantly burst into flames. Try that on for size!

 

[azzaman333]

I am very tempted to show this to my brother and sister who are both still young enough to believe he delivers presents...

 

[Knowze Gungk]

Obviously the writer of this knows nothing about magic.

 

[Geake2000]

That would be true if Santa followed those laws.

Santa, his sleigh and his reindeers are actually quantic objects, that's why he's able to deliver all those nice presents without being burned...

 

[Truronian]

The writer discounts the fact that in 99.9999% of the houses the parents put out the presents because they assume Santa doesn't exist

Welcome Geake2000

 

[The Person]

Haven't I seen this before? Yes I have! But it was worth posting so that those who haven't can enjoy it.

 

[vyapti]

Obviously the writer of this knows nothing about magic.

This article is wrong. I see Santa every time I go to the mall. He's on TV and in Movies. My eyes don't fool me and, if you truly believe the heracy in this article than you deserve what you get.

All I know is this: every Christmas Eve, my kids leave a glass of juice. Each morining, it's been mixed with vodka and is gone. --Believe what you will.

 

[GeZe]

Santa is a metaphor for the relationship between parent and child. Enough said.

 

[Pentium]

this is twice the weight of the Queen Elizabeth II.

I didn't know England had a queen weighing 100 thousand tons

 

[Fox Mccloud]

Santa is a metaphor for the relationship between parent and child. Enough said.

No.

Santa is an anagram of satan

 

[MattII]

No.

Santa is an anagram of satan

So what, dog is an anagram of god, eleven plus two is and anagram of twelve plus one, etc.

Otherwise, heard that one before at least once. It's humour, but not by much.

 

[North King]

This article is wrong. I see Santa every time I go to the mall. He's on TV and in Movies. My eyes don't fool me and, if you truly believe the heracy in this article than you deserve what you get.

All I know is this: every Christmas Eve, my kids leave a glass of juice. Each morining, it's been mixed with vodka and is gone. --Believe what you will.

Sometimes one even sees two Santas at one time. Obviously, there are no such silly restrictions as physics on our dear Santa.

 

[Swiss Bezerker]

"STRESSED" is "DESSERTS" backwards

 

[The Condor]

I think it would be cool to watch him (and the reindeers) catch on fire and dissolve into nothing. I know Santa (and so does my little sister) doesn't exist.

 

[classical_hero]

Here is another reason why I am aginst Santa. How come are there so many Santas around the world? It is obvious to me that he has been cloned and thus is a danger to everyone.

 

[The Person]

But since Santa is good, they must all be good clones...

 

[classical_hero]

Here is another reason not to like Santa. He is pervert because he has surveilance coverage of every child. Now Michael Jackson would like that sort of coverage.

 

[The Person]

Now that's a conspiracy theory. In truth Santa is Michael Jackson! Burn and kill Santa, the child molester!