The Beginning
As he entered the building next door, he could not help but notice how much brighter it was. But somehow not as lively as he thought it would be. The furniture was newer and little cleaner than the place he had just left, but the layout and the purpose was all too familiar. This was a place where serious dicussions were held about matters of state. The State of Smurkz.
And in the far corner of the room were some folks discussing that state. They were deep into their planning, have just survived a rough set of turns. The world had been dark, but now the sun was shining and they were making plans on how to allocate their in-game bonanza.
He stuffed his backpack into a cubbyhole and made his way to the long wooden bar. He went behind the bar and rummaged about, bending down and moving things around. As he found what he needed he placed that on the bar; first a wireless mouse, then a wireless set of headphones, followed by an impressive looking laptop and a large frosted glass mug. The mouse went into a pocket, the headphones he donned, he stuck the laptap under is arm and filled up the mug from the spigot behind the bar that read 'A & W'. Once filled, he drank slowly, as the head subided, enjoying the frothly goodness of the dark brown liquid. Too bad they were out of ice cream; a float would have really hit the spot.
He refilled the mug and made his way to a booth in the corner of the establishment, not very close but not all that far from the folks huddled around the large round table. After he sat down, he turn on the computer, got out the mouse, and began to click rapidly, stop, hum and click again.
At the planning table, things were starting to break up. The tension was over and good times were just over the horizon.
'Fellows,' said Niklas, 'we've got a lot accomplished and a lot left to do. I'm beat, so I'm going to go home and get some sleep.
'Next time we'll do better. I won't be as tired, that's for sure.' And he stood up and gazed around the room, seeing the stranger in the booth.
He stared at the stranger, his mind trying to engage. The others saw where he was looking and they looked back at him to see what he would do.
'Uh, Niklas, you know that guy?'
Niklas scrunched his eyes together. 'You know, I think I should, but right now I just don't. And what's worse, once I do know who it is, I'm gonna kick myself for not remembering.'
'Tell you what,' said Xcalibrator, 'you go home and we'll go meet this guy. There's just one of him and he don't look too tough. We got pool cues and he doesn't. We'll be okay.'
'Okay, but don't overreact. I'll see you later.' And so saying, Niklas slowly made his way to the front door and headed out.
The remaining seven watched him leave and then turned and made their way to the stranger's booth. He did not notice them, locked in focus to the screen in front of him.
Backwards Logic tried to start a conversation.
'Hey.'
r_rolo1 looked at Backwards Logic in amazement. '"
Hey" is the best you could do?' He looked at the stranger and spoke.
'Say, hey!'
The others sniggered and r_rolo turned slightly red.
'Brilliant,' snorted uncle. 'Here, let me try.'
He sat down across from the stranger, who was still oblivious to his presence. Until uncle grabbed his mouse hand and got his attention. The stranger looked up, slightly startled, and took off his headphones.
'Excuse me for asking,' began uncle, 'but I don't think we've met. Who are you again?'
The eyes behind the thick lens blinked a couple of times, as if to regain focus on a non-virtual world.
'I'm your newest teammate.'
'Oh, you are, are you. I've been here almost a month and I don't recall seeing you before. Are you sure you have the right team?'
'Is this Team Smurkz?'
'Yeeess' was the elongated reply.
'Then this is the right team.'
'I haven't seen you around here either,' chimed in Methos. 'Did I miss that memo?'
'No,' said the stranger, 'not unless AlanH pmed you about my joining up. I only asked him two days ago.'
'Two days ago. Yeah, that would explain why I didn't get the memo,' sighed Methos.
'If you're our latest teammate, why are sitting over here? Why didn't you join us?' queried Renata.
'Well,' he began slowly, 'that would have been butting in. I gather from the thread that things have been rather rough lately and that Marble has just been connected. Something went wrong in how it got connected, an apparent software malfunction, but you were able to overcome that. I don't know anything about Civ4, much less BtS, so I didn't have anything to contribute. So I came over here and started working on something I could contribute.'
'Wait a minute,' interjected ChrisShaffer, 'I'm confused. You know nothing about this game...'
'True; all I have is the demo.'
'All you have is the demo, which was just for vanilla. Yet you pm AlanH to join this team, when you know nothing of the game, and yet you have something to contribute?'
'Yes,' was the quiet and confident response.
'Please enlighten me as to what your great contribution is. I just don't see how you have anything to offer us.'
'My contribution is simply this: the national anthem of Smurkz.'
'Hmm. The national anthem of Smurkz. And you wrote it, I guess?'
'No, not really, I just borrowed the tune and redid the lyrics. I've got several different ones in mind; here, listen and tell me what you think.'
So saying, he made a mulitude of mouse clicks and then stopped.
'Here goes the first one, right now,' as he clicked the mouse one last time.
Old music began to flow through the sound system, like from a 1940's movie. And then a man's voice began to sing.
Oh give me a team,
where the play's always clean,
And the goal is to have a good time.
Where it's understood
that planning is good,
'Plan twice, play once' is sublime.
Team, team of the Smurkz.
Where the n00bies and grognards both play.
Where always is heard,
an encouraging word,
And the bar is open all day.
'That's one,' said the stranger, 'give me a few seconds to the another one ready.'
'Uh, that wasn't you singing was it?' asked Xcalibrator.
"No, not at all. That was the original singer, but my words. I was able to get his entire vocal collection downloaded into this thing and then I searched through it looking for specfic items and then I reassembled them back together into what you just heard. So that is Bing's voice, just slightly tweaked.'
'I see,' said Xcalibrator, letting a little respect show up in his voice.
'This is one I tried, but I didn't get very far...I was able to get some video with this one.'
The various TVs, both analog and digital flickered and accepted the feed from the stranger's laptop.
The video began with a young woman, thin and pretty, dressed in a frilly, white dress wearing a white hat.
'On the contrary, there's a very good word,' she said. 'Am I right, Bert?'
Bert, dressed in white pants, a straw hat and red and white striped jacket, was eating a carmel apple and sitting next to two well dresssed children, also eating carmel apples. 'Tell'em what is,' he said, with a noticeable British accent.
'Right!' replied the lady. 'It's....
Smurkzicalifragilisticexpialidocious
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough
You'll always sound precocious
Smurkzicalifragilisticexpialidocious
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
And now Bert began to sing
Because I was afraid to civ
When I was just a lad
My father gave me nose a tweak
And told me I was bad
But then one day I learned a word That saved me aching nose
The biggest word I ever heard And this is how it goes:
Now both Bert and lady sang
Smurkzicalifragilisticexpialidocious
Even though the sound of it is something quite atrocious
If you say it loud enough
You'll always sound precocious
Smurkzicalifragilisticexpialidocious
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
Um diddle diddle diddle um diddle ay
The stranger paused the video here. 'It has its moments, but seems a bit too frivolous for an anthem,' he sighed.
'Yeah, but the kids would love it.'
'True,' spoke the stranger, with a slight shake of his head, 'and yet, somehow, I keep coming back to this one. But, I can't find a video that does it justice, so I've just put the new lyrics on the screen.'
It began as a rather soft solo with a piano accompaniment.
I've paid my dues
In Civ 3 time
I started at Nine
And played every time
And bad mistakes,
I've made a few
I've had the AIs
Kick sand in my face
But I've come through
And I need to go on and on and on and on
We are Smurkzes my friends
And we'll keep on gamin' till the end
We are the Smurkzes
We are the Smurkzes
No time for losers
'Cause we are the Smurkzes of the world
I've taken my bows
And my curtain calls
You've brought me fame and fortune
And everything that goes with it
I thank you all
But it's been no bed of roses no pleasure cruise
and I consider it a challenge before all human race
That I ain't gonna lose
And I need to go on and on and on and on
We are Smurkzes my friends
And we'll keep on gamin' till the end
We are the Smurkzes
We are the Smurkzes
No time for losers
'Cause we are the Smurkzes of the world
We are Smurkzes my friends
And we'll keep on gamin' till the end
We are the Smurkzes
We are the Smurkzes
No time for losers
'Cause we are the Smurkzes
In the silence that followed the music one person spoke up.
'Could we hear that again? I'm ready to sing along.'