The Adventures of the Delivery Guy: A Fallout New Vegas playthrough

[aelf]

"Because here at the Mojave Express, we quite simply live - and die - to deliver."

I have an idea and I want to give it a shot. Basically, the point of this game, aptly enough, is to be a courier. Not just any courier, but a Mojave Express courier, with all the glory and danger that entails. The MoEx Guy can't remember his real name after that bullet he took, but rest assured that he has the goods - your goods. Or at least he will eventually get them to you no matter what. That means his task is to recover the Platinum Chip and deliver it to the intended recipient. No ifs or buts. That's the job, and he will do it. And that's probably all he will do.

The game will be played on Hardcore mode. Most quests that don't have much to do with the MoEx Guy recovering the Platinum Chip and delivering it will be ignored. I will take suggestions on what the MoEx Guy should do, but primarily the MoEx Guy is the MoEx Guy. He won't do anything out of character. He might have a romantic interest or two along the way, but he's no casanova and neither is he a knight in shining armor.

EDIT: It's probably worth mentioning that the MoEx guy will be avoiding any major fighting. Flight, not fight. He also loves to take shortcuts.

So, anyway, let's just begin, because in this fast-moving, high pressure, get-it-done-yesterday world, we need to keep up with it all.

---

Getting shot in the head blows. I'm dead serious. Luckily, I'm not dead enough to be seriously screwed.

At this rate though, I might as well be. My boss is gonna kill me for losing that package. He's gonna say "Pedro," or whatever my real name was, "what you gone and done now? Get the hell out of my office before I shoot your head off!". I got hell for throwing a fragile package over a fence the last time, but this time he's gonna fire me. I know it. I better go and find that package.

But now there's this old man talking to me. He the doctor? Well, thanks doc. Thanks for fixing up my face real good.

Now you might look at my handsome face here and think "This guy must be a celebrity or something". But I'm just your regular delivery guy, y'know? I'm not out to make a name for myself or anything.

Then the doc asks me to go look at this machine that measures all kinds of things about me. Cool. I always wanted to know more about myself.

I guess I must be pretty strong to haul stuff here and there. And I like the beach, ladies in bikinis and all that. So I guess beach bully describes me quite well.

I guess in this line of work you gotta be aware of your surroundings. You don't wanna drive your van into a bighorner that's crossing the road or go to the wrong door and have a guy point a shotgun in your face. So being an alert coyote sounds good. I also like coyotes.

And of course delivery guys like me got to be hardy too. It's a tough job, y'know?

Charisma? I guess I'm not much a people person. But usually I get by with my good looks, so whatever.

Wait a sec. Are you calling me stupid, machine?! Yeah, I'm not the smartest kid in the class, but I don't need to be. All I gotta do is keep my eyes open and do my job. Jeez.

And, yeah, you gotta be agile too. I never did work in a circus, but one of my cousins is a knife catcher. I guess it runs in the family.

Luck... Well, I gotta be lucky if I got shot in the head and didn't die.

So that sums me up. What's next?

I'm good at repairing stuff, I guess. The van breaks down all the time. Also, I can chat some chicas up and I'm good at surviving. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. I'm a good natured person. It helps in this line of work, especially when the package is late and you have to deal with an angry customer. Also, I'm obviously good at carrying things around, although I object to being called a hoarder. That's mean, bro.

Now that the doc's done with asking me questions, he walked me to the front door and gave me some stuff to wear. I like the colour. It's kind of like my uniform. So I guess I'm going to be sticking to this suit as long as I can.

With that, I step out into the sunlight after days of being cooped up in the doc's place. Somewhere out there, the package is waiting for me.

 

[aelf]

Let me know if the screenshots are too big.

 

[aelf]

The first thing I meet after leaving the doc's place is a robot. He's the one who dug me out, so I thank him and ask him about the guys who shot me. They have the package.

Spoiler :

So I gotta go make some friends, huh? Well, that's easy. So I head over to the saloon. Going in...

Spoiler :

Hey, what's this? I got propositioned already? That's even easier than I thought!

Spoiler :

So we go to the back and she gives me a big gun. So you're into guns, huh, lady? Wait till you see my gun.

She asks me to shoot some bottles, probably to check how well I handle my gun.

Spoiler :

Yup. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Then she asks me if I wanna go shoot some lizards outside town. Interesting way to put it, lady.

Spoiler :

But no, she means it. And so I find myself facing down a couple of huge lizards. Those things have big teeth and are scary as hell. Did she come flirt with me out of the blue just to get me to do some of her dirty work? And I fell for that? How typical, Pedro (that's what I'm gonna call myself from now on).

Spoiler :

Okay. Maybe I can also make myself useful to you, huh? And not just by killing lizards, I hope.

Then she sends me off to look for some plants. Why must getting into a woman's pants be so damn hard?

So I go to the schoolyard, where she tells me to go. Then I find these giant bugs. Okay, gotta do some more shooting.

Spoiler :

I find the plants she described to me just outside the school building. But I'm right in front of the door and the place looks empty, so why not go in to check it out, right?

Guess what, there's even more of those bugs inside the building. I'm trying to shoot some of them, but they're all coming up to me, man. So I run out and close the door behind me.

And then I get an idea. If I go in through the back door or climb in through a window behind, maybe I can take those bugs by surprise and clean the place out. That's such a smart idea, Pedro.

So I do that, and guess what - great success! I picked up some stuff no one wants: Some caps, magazines and other nice stuff.

Then I head over to the cemetery, where I nearly got buried. On the way up the hill, I get ambushed by this giant scorpion.

Spoiler :

Man, that thing is tough. But not tougher than Pedro. With great skill and dexterity, I keep shooting at it while running backwards. I'm feeling like an action hero right now. ¡Cuidado! ¡Soy El Fantasma!

At the top of the hill, I find another kind of bugs, some kind of giant bees.

Spoiler :

Those things are scary too, but they won't stop El Fantasma! I quickly make short work of them with my bad ass rifle.

Then I look around the place. I find some interesting cigarette butts around the grave they dug for me. I also find this thing:

Spoiler :

Looks interesting, so I grab it and move on.

Oh wait, gotta grab that other plant too.

Then I go back to my girl Sunny, who's all smiles.

Spoiler :

Making some healing powder? You know any other recipes, like for increasing stamina or something?

So yeah, I'm obviously not on the right trail to get some today. Whatever. I'm just gonna walk back to town with my tail between my legs. Don't mind me.

Huh, what do you want, bro?

Spoiler :

You're asking me to rescue your girlfriend from some scary lizards? Are we going to have a threesome afterwards or what? No thanks, dude. Judging from my luck today, I know this isn't gonna go the way I'd like it to.

So, yeah, I'm gonna go back to the saloon to buy some food and drinks, then I'm gonna skip town. Not much more to do here.

At least the lady at the counter seems friendly. A bit too old for my tastes, though.

Spoiler :

Yeah, I saw you arguing with that mean-looking dude. You and me, sister. I don't want anything to do with it either. So I ask her about the guys who shot me. I ask if she knows where they might be headed.

Spoiler :

Figures. Then she tells me that her radio is broken and she'd pay me if I could fix up. Done and done

Spoiler :

Why, thank you, ma'am. I buy some supplies from her and then I'm ready to hit the road. But before I go, I grab some medical supplies from doc's and I also swipe an interesting-looking red book from someone's house when nobody's looking. It's written in Chinese, so I'm going to take my time reading it with the help of the Pip-Boy dictionary. Look like it might be something good to read before bed time.

Alright. Goodbye and thanks for everything, Goodsprings!

Now, the question is, where to? Should I head straight for the Strip? I might find a shortcut. Or I can take the long but safe way that people in this town have been telling me about. Hmm...

 

[Joecoolyo]

Head directly to the strip. You're going to end up dead, but it will be hilarious.

 

[Ruler]

7 luck just go empty the Casinos.

 

[aelf]

Head directly to the strip. You're going to end up dead, but it will be hilarious.

Don't underestimate the MoEx Guy's skill at finding shortcuts

7 luck just go empty the Casinos.

That's what I do all the time. Makes caps absurdly plentiful.

 

[SouthernKing]

Go to Freeside and raid the Silver Rush. See if you can survive

 

[aelf]

I stop to give it a moment of thought.

Oh, what the heck, I'm just gonna head straight for the Strip. Quick delivery is the company's other name, and the longer I take, the bigger the trouble I'm gonna get into.

So I leave town and head in the direction of the Strip under the cover of darkness. After getting out of town, I arrive at a monument and a shack.

Spoiler :

I get into the shack to escape from a couple of giant scorpions that are chasing me and pick up some stuff inside. Then, quietly, I leave the shack. Before I can move much further, though, I see this sign:

Spoiler :

That doesn't look good. So I guess I have to make a detour. I decide to head east, but past the monument I see a similar sign.

Spoiler :

Uh, okay. I guess the whole area in front of me is crawling with those death monster things. Looks like I have no choice but to continue going east until I can finally head north towards the Strip.

Spoiler :

True enough, before long, I see a road going north and the way seems to be clear.

Once I step on the road, though, someone stops me...

Spoiler :

...just to tell me about some old treasure. Thanks, hombre. I mean no disrespect, and your story sounds quite interesting and all, but I got a package to deliver.

Sadly, I haven't got far when I see another sign.

Spoiler :

Okay. Time to head for the hills to the east and continue trying to find a way to get to the Strip. It's pretty safe up on the rocks even though the ground below might be crawling with giant scorpions.

But before long I come to this gully that is full of scorpions.

Spoiler :

There are scorpions even on the high ground across the gully. Aw, hell. I guess I gotta backtrack. But where to now? Either I go through death monster territory to the north or through scorpion territory to the east. Man, this blows.

Maybe I should've listened to what people in Goodsprings told me. Maybe I should've gone the safer way.

But it's too late to go back now. My job and my good name are at stake here. The hills look pretty safe so far and there's no way I can cross that gully without getting stung by a bunch of scorpions, so I should probably head north and stay on high ground. Maybe I won't meet any death monsters that way. Hopefully.

So I do that and after a while I get to a shack owned by a guy called Neil. All the walking around and discovering places has made me more experienced, so I've become better at stuff.

Spoiler :

Since I'm pretty good at chatting up chicas, repairing stuff and surviving, I decide to become even better at talking and a little better at repairing stuff and surviving. Gotta play to your strengths, bro.

Spoiler :

I also decide to become better at learning stuff too. Awesome.

Anyway, it turns out that Neil is a super mutant. I was scared as hell at first, but he's polite and all so I guess he ain't too bad. I'm not gonna stick around long enough to find out what his favorite meal is, though.

Spoiler :

Neil tells me that the mountain is full of crazy super mutants. Okay, so don't go up the mountain. Let me check my Pip-Boy map to see where I should go... Okay, so mountain is east of Neil's shack. If I continue heading north and stick to the hills, I should be fine, right? Alright, thanks, Neil. Adios!

Neil is nice enough to let me grab two grenades from his shelf, so I do that and continue heading north. After a while, I catch sight of the Strip shining in the distance.

Spoiler :

Also, I can see one of those death monsters down there. Luckily, it can't seem to climb up here. Good choice, Pedro. I always knew I'm good at this job.

But I can't continue north anymore without getting off the high ground, so I follow the curvature (yeah, I know. I just used a big word) of the hill and head slightly northeast.

Spoiler :

After a while, the land starts to gently slope down. At least this area seems safe and I'm nearer to New Vegas now. I continue heading northeast until I come to a road going north.

Following the road, I eventually meet some nice folks. The man tells me that he runs the place.

Spoiler :

Awesome! I must be very near the Strip now. And you know it's all good when you see a bunch of friendly soldiers keeping the road safe.

Spoiler :

Further down the road, I start to see houses. There are people living in them too. It looks like a quiet little town.

Spoiler :

But I guess every town has its bad neighbourhood. Some kind of robbery happened here recently. That's kinda scary, actually. But there's nothing dangerous around, so I guess that only means one thing for me: Free loot.

 

[Joecoolyo]

Oh wow, you made it.

MoEx Guy, your skills are showing!

 

[aelf]

Heh. I haven't reloaded at all so far, and I'm pretty tempted to play it iron man style. If he dies, he dies.

 

[aelf]

Wow, there's some nice stuff in this wreckage:

Spoiler :

Man, I feel rich already. Maybe I can quit my job after this and live the good life on the Strip.

After grabbing all the valuable stuff that I can find, I stroll happily towards New Vegas.

Spoiler :

I pop by the shop nearest to the gate.

Everyone seems real friendly around here. I ask one of the shop owners what's going on in town. He tells me about this cool place called the Atomic Wrangler.

Spoiler :

Hmm... Probably worth checking out some time. But I bet the Strip has better places.

Ralph didn't tell me everything about Freeside, though, like the fact that there are thugs in this town that come at you just for being there. I meet one almost right after stepping out of his shop. And I was just saying how everyone seems friendly.

Spoiler :

Hey, easy, man. What the **** do you want with me, bro? I'm just a delivery guy. Maybe he knows I'm carrying some nice stuff in my super hi-tech invisible courier pack?

Oh, man, he's coming closer. Run!!!

He's chasing me! He's chasing me down the street! **** off!!! Help! Help!!! Somebody!!1!1

Okay, you want a piece of me, huh?! I'll give it to you. Die, you bastard! What the- He took a shot in the head and shrugged it off?! What, are you a super mutant or something? ****, man. Just. Die! Ahhhh!!!

*gunfire*

Spoiler :

Phew. That was close. But it looks like this thug is no match for the skill of El Fantasma. And now I have a nifty hat to wear!

Moving on. In the next section of the town, I spy with my little eye the Atomic Wrangler.

Spoiler :

But, like I said, the Strip probably has better places, so I'm just gonna head there right away.

Before I get to the gate, though, some guy stops me.

Spoiler :

And he speaks the truth. Right after he tells me that, some poor soul tries to run past the robots. He didn't make it.

Spoiler :

See that smoking body over there?

I guess I better talk to the greeter first.

Uh, hello... What? I can't just go in?

Spoiler :

Wow, that's steep. Uh, I guess I'll come back later.

Man, what a bummer. How am I going to get that kind of cash?

I walk back to Mick and Ralph's, thinking of selling some of the nice stuff I found this morning. But, guess what, Mick tells me that he's selling his lucky pair of pyjamas:

Spoiler :

Maybe if I buy this, I can gamble at the Atomic Wrangler with what little money I have left and lady luck will make me rich. That sounds like an awesome idea, right?