The "Al Gore" Challenge -- beeline the Internet!

[jerVL/kg]

1848AD: Mansa Musa demands that I stop trading with Alex. Naturally, I tell him to get bent. I've already looked at the diplomatic situation, as well as the state of my military, and decided that I am NOT getting involved in this war. You two will have to duke it out amongst yourselves, guys.

I'm also really frustrated by the location of this river:



Thanks to all that useless tundra, there is NO WAY to irrigate ANYTHING!! Oh, why couldn't I have started on a flood plain instead??

Kolhapur's boundaries expand to cover a fish resource way out in the ocean. The tile can't be used by the city, but since I don't like resources going to waste, I build a useless work boat to catch it anyway.

1850AD: A scouting caravel discovers more unclaimed land, this time a tiny grassland island w/ fish just off the coast of Russia. It's too far away and production-poor to ever be of any use, so I decide not to bother with it.

Radio due next turn...

1851AD:



(By the way, I totally love the Modern Age "World at War" music. Really creepy and gothic.)

Radio's done, and...Mansa STILL DOESN'T HAVE ARTILLERY!! Looks like I gotta research it myself, though it will take only 13 turns at 60% science.

Delhi starts building The Eiffel Tower...the city's cranking out 172 hammers when building a Wonder with a half-cost resource!!



Calcutta, my second-highest production city, starts Rock & Roll. Here's a look at the bustling West Coast:



1852AD: My caravels spy a pair of Greek frigates heading at high speed to the coast of Mali. Yep, 2 frigates to attack a continent guarded by machine guns and destroyers. In addition, he sends a single grenadier to attack Taghaza, the Malinese city on Iron Island -- which is guarded by 2 Infantry, by the way. Whatever you say about Alexander, you gotta give that boy credit...he's got real balls.

1853AD: Alex's frigates starts ripping up fishing nets along the Malinese coast...and Mansa doesn't stop him!! You stupid idiot, ATTACK HIM WITH YOUR TRANSPORTS!! Why is letting that boy get away with it??

And in case you were wondering...yes, forest WILL grow on tundra:



I also notice that one of Taghaza's infantry is slightly injured, and I don't see the Grenadier anywhere.

1854AD: Alexander invites me join the war against Mansa:



I love the way these warmongering leaders ask for war assistance. Most of the others always say noble, important things like, "The enemy must be brought to justice! Come lend us your assistance!" With Alex, and people like Mao & Genghis, it's always like an invitation to go disco dancing or something.

And I'd love to, but...Alex? You're a madman. You're fighting a country that's almost two eras ahead of you in technology. And frankly, I'M not the one having my cities sacked and pillaged. You go have fun, my friend. Don't forget to send me a postcard of your tombstone. Naturally, Alex doesn't take my refusal very well:



Aaaaaaand no sooner do I hang up with Alex, the phone rings again:



"Yes? Oh, hello Cathy." (Great...what now?) "What's the problem? You've got a blackout? You want to plug into our power grid? Aw, what the hell, why not. Anything you want, sweetheart." [Click]

Women! Can't live with 'em...can't kill 'em.

1855AD: Alex continues his rampage at Gao, while Mansa's transports sit in drydock and do nothing:



Mansa offers Biology +630 gold for Radio. Thanks, but no thanks. Why don't you research a tech I actually WANT instead??

I do notice he's got extra Oil for trade, but he wants Hit Musicals, Marble AND Stone for it! Umm...well, I'll keep that in mind. I don't yet know how desperately I'll need Oil when The Internet gets built!

Oh, and look what this jerkface wants:



Say again, George? You want me to trade Radio for a half-researched tech and some measely gold?? Dream on, buddy. I ain't helping you win the game. Wait until I get the Eiffel Tower built, at least!

1856AD: Hatty demands that I stop trading with Russia. Girls, duke it out amongst yourself, I don't want to know about it. (Interestingly, Cathy's actually Pleased with Egypt, but Hatty's Annoyed with her.)

1857AD: Alex continues to ravage the coast of Mali. Most cities have run out of stuff to build, so I start converting them to Wealth, allowing me to run 70% science and knock two whole turns off of Artillery.

The corn tile near Jaipur is down to 68% Indian! Stupid Creative Catherine!

1858AD: Whoa, the Mali/Greece war has reached the homeland!



This is exciting! I start microwaving some popcorn and prop up a beach chair.

Those destroyers & frigates look somewhat injured...and HIGHLY promoted. They must have been busy!

1859AD: Huyana Cupac demands Physics. He doesn't take my refusal in stride:



Umm...you know? I probably should watch out for Huyana Cupac. He's way down on technology now, but we're still more than 70 turns away from building The Internet, and he might start building Destroyers before I'm done. I do notice that there *is* some oil on the Incan continent proper, so I galley over a worker to spy on it. If he starts building a well...umm, best not to think about it.



Artillery due in 3 turns...

 

[Yaype]

This is one of the few stories that I've followed this dilligently. Good work and keep it up!

 

[jerVL/kg]

1860AD: EMERGENCY AT BENGAL! Greek borders have expanded over both farm tiles, and the city's starving again!



There's not a damn thing I can do about it but watch. Well, first I whip the Observatory...might as well get some use out of those dying citizens! Later, I'll whip a Castle as well.

1861AD: EMERGENCY AT ICA! Russia has stolen two tiles away from the city!



They're not starving (it's just a windmill and a jungle) but this Culture battle is getting brutal. For the first time, I find myself missing THEATRES in a bad way! COME ON, EIFFEL TOWER! I need you like never before!!!

Meanwhile, the Mayflower reaches that godforsaken fish island north of Mali. This place is literally the farthest away you can get from my homeland and still remain on the planet. Still...I could always use more land. I grit my teeth, and click the button:



City maintenance is -19gpt. For some reason, that actually doesn't seem so bad...

GW completes an SS Casing. As if I didn't have enough problems already...

1862AD: Caravel spies on HC's navy in Atico. He's got two galleons loaded with Grenadiers & Cannons, and two empty Galleons. Will he attack me with those forces? He just might. Luckily, there's still no action at his oil.

Jaipur, Ica & Bengal are still under siege culturally. Luckily, we're doing okay with the battle over America's oil...it's down to 57%!

1863AD: Artillery finished. Next up...ROCKETRY!



I check to see if Washington will trade for it, but of course he says he'd rather win the game, thank you very much! Speaking of Washington, he needs some competition. So I dial up Mansa and gift him a few techs:




Well, not precisely a gift, but he did get them for a song. His score jumps 130 points, now he's nipping at GW's heels! Plus, I've got extra cash to start researching Rocketry at the ungodly rate of 80% -- massive deficit, but it saves 2 turns. I need to get the Apollo Program started ASAP!

Meanwhile, the culture battle between Ica and Khabarovsk is getting ugly. The gems are down to 46% Indian, and the FISH tile is at 62%! If I lose those fish, the city's in BIG trouble...



Plus, I've still got HC's invasion force wandering around the Russian city. It's only medieval junk -- maces, crossbows, and a solitary knight -- but there's a LOT of it. Thankfully, the "away" cost must be brutal for HC...I don't know why he doesn't delete them, or at least sent a Galleon to take them home for upgrades. Silly AI, they're always abandoning troops like that.

1865AD: YES!! The borders of Ica expand, winning back those Ruskie tiles!



And the Punjab oil is down to 54% American! Things are starting to turn around!

1867AD: Hatty adopts Free Market, so she must have Economics now. GW completes another bloody Casing.

1869AD: Mansa Musa completes The Statue of Liberty. Good, I was afraid Washington would grab it. Meanwhile, my Internet builders complete:



Plus, Delhi's got a Great Person due next turn, with a 78% chance of being an Engineer. Pretty soon we'll be able to truly ROCK AND ROLL!!!

1870AD: As expected, Blaise Pascal is born in Delhi:



He'll discover +2070 beakers of Steam Power, which obviously I don't need. So I march him over to Calcutta to rush...

...wait a minute. Turns out he can actually rush Rock & Roll in a single turn...IN DELHI! Perfect!! I cancel the build in Calcutta (had 11 turns left) and immediately rush it in my capital city:



(Note: Again, this was a mistake. There was no pressing need to build Rock & Roll so quickly, and the GE could have been saved for later purposes. Such as...a Golden Age. On the other hand, it did add extra Great Person points to Delhi, and the 756gp refund from Calcutta allowed me to start upgrading troops faster, after Rocketry was done. Just saying, if I had it to do over again, that's what I'd do.)

Oh well, no use crying over spilt milk. LET'S ROCK AND ROLL, BABY!

 

[jerVL/kg]

1871AD:



With Broadcast Towers in every city blasting out musicals and The Ed Sullivan Show at 50,000 watts, culture boundaries begin to stand their ground. Granted, the 50% bonus isn't much when all you've got is a temple, library, and the odd monastery & castle...

Alexander adopts Theocracy & Serfdom. I also discover that he's got COAL for trade, so I ask what he wants for it:



Only HORSES?!? Cool! I'LL TAKE IT, I'LL TAKE IT!! Time to build some Ironclads! Umm...wait a minute, no Ironclads? Oh yeah...they require STEAM POWER as well as Steel!!! I get up from the computer and

At least we've got the resource. Something tells me, the only Coal on my continent will already be taken. Could be wrong, but...we'll find out soon enough.

1872AD: Alex sets sail with a Galleon full of Rifles & a settler. With Mansa's Destroyers patrolling everywhere, I don't think he got very far.

1873AD: Punjab has 2 population now, so I whip the Granary and queue up a Library. WE *WILL* GET THAT OIL!!!

Here's a peek at the Diplomatic window:



Looks like Hatty's got a Defensive Pact with Washington now. She's probably better friends with him than me, too. Makes it more important than ever for Mansa to build the United Nations!!!

1875AD: ROCKETRY DONE! Only 3 techs left!!!



George already has Satellites, but again, he'd rather win the game, thank you very much. For a moment, I consider researching Satellites first, and hope that Mansa researches Computers, then trade for it. Ultimately, I decide to go for Computers first...we need those Laboratories!!

Delhi starts the Apollo Program...HOLY CRAP, 46 TURNS!!! Omigosh...it needs ALUMINUM to build at half cost. My civilization doesn't even know what Aluminum LOOKS LIKE!! Hmm...will anyone trade Aluminum? Nope? Didn't think so.

I also take a peek at Catherine's military, and...oh my.



Sure glad I'm friends with her!! (Granted, if it wasn't for all those free techs I gave her, she'd still be in the dark ages...)

The culture battle at Ica is turning around, with the gems back up to 54%. The Punjab oil is dropping, however...back up to 58% American. Once that Library gets whipped...

With the excess cash I got from Mansa, I start upgrading Pikement to SAM Infantry, at 361 gold a pop. Computers due in 18 turns...

 

[jerVL/kg]

1875AD (cont): Out of the blue, Alexander lands a fairly respectable army at the far-flung Mali outpost of Taghaza:





I said it before, and I'll say it again...that Greek boy's got some real BALLS. Most AI civs would never dream of slipping a bunch of frigates & galleons past Mansa's fleet of Battleships and Destroyers. Once again, I microwave some popcorn and watch the fireworks...

...and you know? It's a shame the game doesn't show AI vs. AI battles the same way it shows battles with your own troops. Because all I get to see is the aftermath:



Wow. Looks like he suicided ALL FOUR CANNONS to take that city! Let that be a lesson to you, Mansa...Alex doesn't mess around!

Meanwhile, Huyana Cupac's got Machine Guns now. Which means he's got Railroad. Which means he's only one tech away from Combustion & Destroyers. Still no action by his oil, though.

1876AD: Cathy offers Steam Power + 10gp for Rocketry. Well, at least she offered something instead of asking for a gift, so I have no problem telling her N-O.

Madras completes a Chariot. Why? Because...I can.



"Oooh yeah! Let's go kill some barbarian axemen!"

Washington builds the Pentagon. For a brief moment, I consider flying a plane into it.

1878AD: Catherine completes The Kremlin. It's a fitting Wonder for Russia, but...Cathy? Babe? You're running Hereditary Rule. The Kremlin is useless for you. Not that it's a problem, I'm just saying is all.

In case anyone's wondering, it costs 175 gold to upgrade a Rifle to a SAM, 211 for a Grenadier, 286 for a Musket, 361 for a Pike, and 457 gold for an Axe.

1879AD: GW completes two SS Casings in the same turn! And the battle for Punjab oil is failing, it's back up to 77% American!

Meanwhile, Mansa shows no sign of stopping the war with Alex. I don't see any landing forces, but his Destroyers & Battleships are blockading every harbor, pillaging nets & bombing defenses. I ask him if he'll make peace, but of course he says no. On the other hand...he's got extra Aluminum! I ask what he wants for it, and:





YES!! I'LL TAKE IT! I'LL TAKE IT!

The Apollo Program is now due in...31 turns?!? That doesn't seem right. WTH -- I've got Delhi set to MAX RESEARCH?!? When did THAT happen? Turn it off, turn it off! Ok, now it's more like 22 turns. Still sucks but...we may have a shot of getting off this planet!

1880AD: Mansa Musa seems VERY interested in this mine he took from Alex:



I'm guessing...Aluminum. Or possibly Coal, if he doesn't have it in his country.

Okay, time to take a look at the graphs. Hmm...well, first let me explain something. I'm taking the shortest beeline that goes Rifling -> Artillery -> Rocketry. However, there's an alternate beeline, which avoids Artillery and goes Rifling -> Steam Power -> Railroad -> Combustion -> Flight -> Rocketry. I think, next time I try this challenge, I'll take that path instead. For two reasons. (1) It's not like you'd have to actually research all these techs. The AI seems very excited about trading them for Physics, Electricity, and Radio. And, (2) it will give you some important late-game improvements, including one thing I completely forgot about: FACTORIES!!





Without Factories, there's simply no way I can out-produce GW. So...I make an executive decision. I'll let the Apollo Program complete, but I will NOT waste any time building spaceship parts. Instead, I'll put all my marbles in winning this game by Diplomacy.

To be honest, I don't care if I win or lose; all I want to do is build The Internet! But at this point, I'm not convinced I'll even get THAT far!!

Stay tuned!

 

[DrewTate]

where are you from dude

 

[jerVL/kg]

where are you from dude

America. Sorry about our current president...I didn't vote for him.

The next installment is taking longer than I thought, I've got a TON of notes and screenshots to work through. I don't want to give anything away, but needless to say, it gets...exciting. Stay tuned!

 

[wolfigor]

very cool game, compliments!
I look forward the next step in your quest for internet.

 

[jerVL/kg]

1881AD: Ok, here's the situation. We're way behind on tech, have crap for military, can't produce worth a damn, and our friends keep bugging us to stop trading with our other friends or join a war we don't want to get involved with. We've got a runaway AI building a spaceship like no tomorrow, and a very upset Inca neighbor who's only playing ball because we've got a Defensive Pact with the biggest military power in the game.

On the bright side, we're friends with just about everyone (except Inca) and we've got a good chance of winning by Diplomacy, *if* Mansa Musa beats GW to the United Nations. That's the key...most of our friends actually like George better than us, so we could conceivably LOSE a Diplomatic Victory to him. Mansa, on the other hand, isn't well-liked by anyone. That's partly why I gifted Radio to him, so he can get started on Mass Media ASAP. In addition, our research rate is holding steady, and our cities are happy & healthy, despite massive Emancipation penalties. So...let's keep going.

I notice this turn that Alex has Machine Guns now. Yikes, those suckers are nasty.

1882AD: Two wounded Galleons appear in the channel outside Sparta, taunting Mansa's Destroyer. Heh...Alex you dog, you never give up do you?

1883AD: Mansa wants me to declare war on Alex. Umm...no. Meanwhile, George has tiny little planes circling his cities. Cool, another tech for us to download!

1885AD: Here's a look at Houston, the mega-sugar plantation that George poached from me centuries ago:



Man, that city must be generating GOBS of cash. Makes me want to .

1886AD: AGAIN, Mansa wants me to stop trading with Alex. I tell him to bugger off. His attitude drops to Cautious.

On the bright side...Mansa has MASS MEDIA!!



YEAH!! C'mon, build that United Nations! Don't let George build it!

1887AD: I whip the Library in Chitty-gong-gong to aid in the border war for the horses. Can't whip the Apollo Project, but it would cost eight population if I could.

1889AD: More American cities are Buddhafied. George has Jet Fighters now.

1890AD: George completes SS Thrusters! I check Huyana's oil again, still no sign of activity.

1891AD: George seems particularly interested in this mine outside Philadelphia:



My guess? Coal. Just a hunch.

1892AD: WE HAVE COMPUTERS!



Next up...SATELLITES. All cities start building Laboratories, including all the ones that were building Wealth, which drops our research rate to 60%; Satellites due in 17 turns. (And yes, GW already has 'em.)

1893AD: Catherine adopts Vassalage & Theocracy...and DECLARES WAR ON ALEX! Also, GW completes TWO SS Thrusters in a single turn! Now only the big pieces are left...

On the bright side...Chittygong-gong's culture has stolen the horses AND a lumbermill!



That, my friends, is what some determined whippin' can do for ya.

Still no sign of Cathy actually, you know, attacking anything. Mansa seems pretty gassed out, he's still sailing around bombarding cities at random, sinking the occasional Galleon or Work Boat, but he's got no landing forces in sight. Hopefully, things will cool off soon.

1894AD: Huyana Cupac starts bugging me again -- this time, he wants us to convert to Confucianism. Umm...well, you know, I am Spiritual, and one of the advantages of Spirituality is you can switch religions and/or civics to satisfy the whims of your neighbors, then switch back again in five turns with no diplomatic penalty. We're running no religious civics, so I decide what the hell. I accept his demand, and...

...the lights go out.





All those cities I spent so much time Buddhafying, all of a sudden I can't see into them anymore. Holy City's worthless without, you know, the RELIGION to go with it! Well...no matter, our shrine's still making money, and the only real downside is trying to follow what's going on in the war. Just remind me to switch back in five turns!

 

[jerVL/kg]

1895AD: Immediately, the side effects of embracing Confucianism become clear. Our Buddhist buddy, George Washington, is no longer Friendly with us, and cancels our Defensive Pact. Alexander, now Cautious, cancels the Coal/Horse trade, and refuses to renew it:



Needless to say, now that we're unwashed heathens, diplomatic relations all around have turned frosty:



At least Catherine's still friendly. She doesn't care what religion you worship, as long as you keep giving her free stuff. And Huyana is actually up to Annoyed. As if that will prevent him from invading my country...

Along the coast, Alex sends a work boat to fix a net Mansa pillaged. Since there's a pair of Destroyers out there in the fog somewhere, I doubt very much that it made it.



1896AD: I pick up a Galleon-load of workers and send them to the oil city of Chittygong-gong. Thinking a bit ahead here, but my plan is to plop them down on the oil well and get it built QUICK, in case the gambit for the Punjab well fails. It's not like they have anything to do anyplace else...all available improvements on the mainland have been built already.

1899AD: Alex wants us to declare war on Mali again. Tut, tut Alex. You shouldn't have cancelled that Horse/Coal trade, you tool. Oh, and by the way, we're Buddhist again. Sorry about flirting with the enemy guys...hey, what's that screaming noise I hear?

What the...

Catherine has attacked Corinth...and BURNED IT TO THE GROUND!!!



I...I don't know what to say. That's the city Alexander launched his invasions from. All game long, I've been staring across the channel at that city, wondering when the next attack would come. On the one hand, I'm glad that a possible threat to our security is gone, but at the same time, I feel...strangely empty. It's like one of those things, you thought would always be there, like that puppy dog I had in fifth grade.

Of course, that maudlin moment is quickly replaced by the thought of...FREE LAND!!! Quickly, I rush a settler party out there to claim the former Greek city for India!

 

[jerVL/kg]

1901AD: At last, I get to be a city-poacher:



New Corinth is founded. There's also a new pile of rubble that wasn't there before...I wonder what that was about??

Here's a look at the Top Five Cities at the dawn of the 20th Century, along with some recently built wonders:



1902AD: The culture battle for Punjab oil is slowly turning in our favor, with the tile down to 54% American. I can whip the Library now, so hopefully that will make it flip quicker:





By the way...I took a close look at George Washington's empire, and it turns out this is his ONLY native source of Oil. That's right, he's got NO other oil source, anywhere! If I manage to flip it to India...oh man. Hehehehe. I feel giddy just thinking about it.

1903AD: Again, Mansa asks me to go to war. Again, I have to tell him, uh-uh, no way, sorry. "You should choose your sides more carefully," he says ominously.

1904AD: Oh, sh*t...



Well...at least it will take him 14 turns to hook it up. Still, I'd better check up on his forces and see what's shaking. A pair of caravels scout the Incan coast, and...umm...









Huyana Cupac had Destroyers ALL THIS TIME?!?!?

Well, at least he's not attacking yet. The good news is, it appears his military is set up purely for defense. He's got one hell of a navy, but only a token garrison in each city, and his invasion fleet consists of only three SAMs and four Artillery -- painful, but nothing I can't fight off. Plus, he's got other enemies to worry about besides myself...Mansa and GW, in particular, both hate his guts.

But...wait a minute. Huyana's got no other oil source, I already checked. Where on earth did he get the oil from? He must be trading for it. I check the Diplomatic window and -- son of a gun!!



You SLUT!!! You backstabbing little TRAMP!! You've been in bed with the enemy ALL THIS TIME! How dare you! I can't believe it!

Oh well, that's Cathy for ya. She can be a powerful ally, but remember -- she always has her own agenda. I suppose she just found another man who could help spice up her life.

One thing is certain, though -- we cannot afford to get dragged into this war. The only thing protecting us from invasion is our Defensive Pact with the United States of America. Funny how it works, our biggest competitor is also our biggest asset. But ain't that how it is in real life?

 

[jerVL/kg]

1905AD: Catherine advances on the Islamic Holy City of Thermopylae, apparently planning to take out the garrison with only a handful of Infantry & Cannon:



Heh, Alex still has Longbows. Still...longbows can hurt. And I note how he's upgraded all his machine guns to SAMs, which is good news -- SAMs are such pushovers compared to MGs. Unless you've got airplanes.

1906AD: Cathy asks me to join the war. She's not so happy about my refusal:



Sorry hon, but you knew I was a pacifist since the first day we went out together. After all...I'm Gandhi. Duh.

1907AD: Cathy continues to march on Therm:



Meanwhile, my own reinforcements (consisting of a Grennie, Musket & Cannon) arrive at Chittygong-gong -- they were heading for Iron Island, in anticipation of a war against Alex, but now they seem most suited for what might be our only Oil source...just want others to know we have a serious military presence there.

Hatty offers Steam Power + 10gp for Physics. Why does everyone keep offering me Steam Power?

1908AD: Cathy's still attacking Therm:



Looks like her top Infantry lost to the main city defender. You know, all you're doing is giving him free experience, babe.

Huyana's still working on that oil well, not that it matters now. I have a caravel check out the southern port of Vitcos, but there's nothing but a token garrison there:



That's when I realize...the worker's stuck. He can't get out, due to closed borders with Inca. I send a Galleon (once again, they're all halfway across the world) to pick him up, since there's no use in him being there anymore.

The Punjab oil is down to 51% American!

1909AD: WE HAVE SATELLITES! Only one tech left!!



I check up on Mansa, turns out he's got Satellites now. So much for selling it to him for his gold. He also won't trade Mass Media -- "We have our reasons," he says. You are building that UN, aren't you good buddy? Oh, and he won't trade his Oil, either...we have nothing he wants.

Meanwhile, the battle for Therm continues...haha, looks like Alex took out her Infantry with a Longbow!



And you really wanted me to join the war, didn't you sweetie? I've been around the block a few times, so I know...don't mess with Alex. Unless you've got serious firepower. Even then, think twice about it.

I notice Hatty's got some extra gold, so I renegotiate her trade, this time replacing Iron (instead of Copper) for Wine + 9gpt. I love playing with her head.

Fiber Optics due in 20 turns!

1910AD: Cathy's lone remaining Infantry takes out the longbow, but he's badly damaged. I don't expect to see any of her troops there next turn.

Mansa completes Hollywood, and immediately offers Hit Movies for Hit Singles:



Umm...make that Musicals. I can never keep those "Hit" things straight.

The same turn, he signs peace with Alex. Good...now he'll stop bugging me about it.

Delhi's Lab comes online, and I set the city to Max Research...Fiber Optics now due in 17 turns!

1911AD: Cathy's Infantry is still hanging in there at Therm, and I notice another of Alex's longbows is gone:



I also notice that Taghaza (the city Alex took from Mansa) is back in Malinese hands, but there's no garrison in it...Alex must have gifted it back to him as part of the peace settlement.

Two more Labs come online...Fiber Optics now due in 15 turns!

1912AD: Cathy offers Steam Power + 1090 gold for Rocketry. I say no, but consider trading her the tech for just money later. Out by Thermopylae, her last Infantry has vanished, and Alex's SAM has promoted to City Garrison III. (Told'ja, sweetie.)

The Punjab oil is down to 50% American, but I can't whip the castle yet. Caravels scout the harbors of Inca, no change in his forces so far.

1913AD: Mansa Musa completes the Three Gorges Dam. Aw, my favorite Wonder.

Bombay continues to build missionaries, since that's all the city's good for.

For some reason, Fibers are due in 14 turns, same as last turn -- I set Delhi to Wealth and whip the Bank in Arequipa, plus a Barracks in New Hyderabad. I love running Slavery in the 20th Century. Fibers are now due in 13 turns!

 

[jerVL/kg]

1914AD: Breaking News: WE HAVE STOLEN THE PUNJAB OIL!!!

My lone remaining axeman immediately rushes forward to claim it:





Now...what would YOU do in this situation? I know what *I* would do, as a technologically superior America...but first, let's check the trade options. Oh, George? What have I got that you ain't got?





I do feel a little bad for him, so I renegotiate our trades and get 17gpt...for corn.

For some reason, Fibers are *still* due in 13 turns...must've been all that heedless whippin'.

1915AD: Sure enough, GW's navy is going nuts. His destroyers cruise closer to Punjab to check out the garrison, while a Frigate on the east coast comes diving in towards Jaipur:



I wonder...if GW declares war on someone he has a Defensive Pact with...does that mean he'll be at war with himself?

Hatty comes asking for Physics, this time I give it to her. "You are a kind and accomodating little culture," she says. Man, even when she's nice, she sounds so condescending...in other news, Mansa now has Mechs.

Fibers due in 12 turns...

1916AD: Another Lab comes online, bringing us back on schedule -- Fiber Optics due in 10 turns! I also decide to sell Rockets to Cathy for gobs of cash:



Finally I start upgrading the home defenders to SAM Infantry.

1917: More rifles upgrade to SAMs; Fibers due in 9 turns.

1918AD: The Zhou lab comes online, but that city's got crappy science production, so Fibers remain unchanged at 8 turns. I whip the Karachi lab to come online at the same time as Bangalore.

George Washington adopts Theocracy. Think I know what's coming next...

1919AD: There aren't many cities left to Buddhafy, so I send a pair via caravel to Spice Island. In this picture, one of the missionaries spreads religion to Hatty's crab village in the north, while the caravel sails around to Chittygong-gong and eventually upgrades to a Frigate:



Meanwhile, our Musketman at the far-flung fishing village of Dacca keeps a lonely vigil:



Fiber optics due in 7 turns!

 

[jerVL/kg]

1920AD: Defensive Pact with George Washington...CANCELLED!!

Dye/Deer trade with Alexander...CANCELLED!! (What, him too?)

.

.

.

.

.

.

...wait for it...

.

.

.

.

.

.

George washington declares war................on ALEXANDER!



Well, there you go. You're America, and you've just lost your oil to an embargo by some backwards, third world nation armed with axemen and rifles; however, this nation is a major trading partner, you share the same religion, and most importantly they are someone you have good diplomatic relations with...so what do you do?

Naturally, you declare war on a completely different backwards, third world nation, someone who nobody likes very much and has absolutely nothing to do with what's going on.

Yep. This game sure resembles real life sometimes.

But wait, this makes no sense. Alexander has NO OIL. Why would George attack a country without oil, when that's what he needs?

Hmm...Alex has no oil. This gives me an idea:



Just to make things a little less lopsided.

Ok...thanks to owning the Holy City, I can see just about everywhere, and there's a LOT going on. The bulk of GW's forces have already landed at Thessalonica:



He must have attacked with Gunships, because there's only a Worker left in the city, but he hasn't taken it yet. Meanwhile, a strike force of SAMs and Navy SEALs descend upon Delphi, which is already down to a lone Grenadier defender:



While a pair of Mechs ravage & pillage the countryside at Thermopylae:



Meanwhile, American Destroyers & Battleships bombard the coastal cities of Ephesus & Herakleia. Yup, when Americans can't drive their Ford Explorers anymore...watch out.

And what's this? Cathy shows up with a VERY impressive stack, sailing straight for the Greek heartland:



Oh Lord, what have I done.

 

[jerVL/kg]

1921AD: In one fell swoop, GW captures Thessalonica & Delphi. Cathy lands her forces at Sparta:



I check Alex's garrison at Myceane, and it remains solid. Sure wish I could dogpile on this battle, but I don't have enough forces to make it work, and no time to build any, with all cities maximized towards research. Fibers due in 5 turns...

1922AD: Using the Oil I gave him, Alex upgrades a Galleon to a Transport, and sails it (empty) north to parts unknown. Whatever became of it, I cannot say:



Cathy attacks Sparta, aided by a battalion of American SAMs. Alex has moved forward most of his defending troops from Athens, but I think his goose is truly cooked this time:



Hatscheput adopts Emancipation. Fiber Optics due in 4 turns!

1923AD: Sparta falls to the Russians:



GW completes SS Docking Bay. Only 4 spaceship parts left!



Thankfully, George doesn't have Fission yet, which means he doesn't have Fusion, which means he can't start working on that big honkin' engine for a while. Still...this is getting down to the wire. (Once again, I am reminded why I always turn Space Race Victory OFF in a custom game...I just didn't, this time.)

Fiber Optics due in 3 turns!

1924AD: MANSA MUSA COMPLETES THE UNITED NATIONS!!!

He's willing to trade Mass Media now, which of course is useless for us as this point. He does have Fiber Optics already, but refuses to trade:



Thank goodness he's permanently eligible for the UN vote, though. George is still lagging behind him in second place, but after this war with Alex, that might change. I'm hopeful that beelining the Internet will launch me into first, but until then, we've got to weather a few elections between Mansa & George. I think I have enough votes to block George from voting himself King Of The World, but it's gonna be a tight one!

Meanwhile, Alex offers Biology + 40gp for Radio -- his attitude is calm and collected, as if nothing special is going on. Naturally, I can't take that trade, sorry Alex. The same turn, Huyana asks me nicely for Radio. I decide it's time to start fixing my relationship with this guy, so he gets it. His response is surprisingly pleasant:



Notice that I'm still getting that +5gp/turn that I demanded from him! And I don't have the option to cancel it, either! Usually the AI cancels any "demand" trade like this after the required 10 turns, but maybe his bookkeepers overlooked this one...either that, or he's really intimidated.

Meawhile, GW advances on Thermopylae with a Navy SEAL and Artillery shell:



...while his SAM battalion pillages its way towards Athens:



Naturally, I start looking around for another city location to poach. Sure would like to own some of those dyes. I find one (circled in blue) so I send a few more troops to nab the spot, and hurry up a Settler:



There's also a TON of ships swarming in the channel between Kohlapur and Ephesus, including several battleships from Mansa Musa, who hasn't (yet) rejoined the war:



Fiber Optics due in 2 turns, and I'm able to drop science down to 50% with no change. Time to start upgrading Muskets!

 

[jerVL/kg]

1925AD: New Corinth revolts!



Oh well, the Greek pressure should be off them soon. George Washington starts to pummel Thermopylae with artillery and air strikes:



Mansa now has gunships. A Great Engineer (Ben Franklin) is born in Delhi, and like a good boy, I put him to sleep for now.

Drop science to 40%...Fibers due NEXT TURN!!!

1926AD: We have reached our goal...WE HAVE FIBER OPTICS!!!





To honor this achievement, Jaipur celebrates "We Love The Prime Minister Day". But let's not get complacent yet...we still have to BUILD the damn Internet! First, it's time for one final civics change:



As for Ben Franklin...well, there's no point in saving him for a Golden Age. So into the city he goes:



Time to build Internet drops from 30 to 28 turns. Ain't nothin' we can do but build, build, BUILD THAT INTERNET, baby! I set research to Fission -- GW has it by now, but Mansa doesn't.

There's a lull in the battle for Therm...not much is happening, except Alex upgraded his Cannon to Artillery.

Also, Cathy & Alex both adopt Emancipation, and coupled with the loss of Dyes, we're really feeling the happiness pinch in our cities:



Good thing we can't support much population, or we'd really be in trouble. Here's a look at the Delhi city screen:



Internet due in 28 turns!

1927AD: It's time to vote for Secretary General, and naturally I select MANSA MUSA. Sure hope it's enough to block George...

Alex wants me to stop trading with Washington. Umm, sorry Alex, but your goose is cooked. Admit it.

Cathy asks me to join the war against Alex. Not yet, baby, not yet! Of course, there's really no point in staying out of this war, so I start looking at military options...

Hmm. I could really, really use Infantry. Is it worth "cheating" again? Assembly Line requires Steam Power, which I can easily trade for. However, Assembly Line also requires...Corporation. And Corporation requires Economics AND Nationalism. Economics requires Education. Nationalism requires Philosophy, which requires Code of Laws. Crap, that's too many techs to cheat -- guess we're gonna have to fight this battle with SAMs & Artillery alone!

Meanwhile, Thermopylae falls to the Americans -- and USA culture immediately expands over the spot I was planning to poach. Oh, well.



Mansa now has Fission. Since there's no point in researching anything at all now, I drop science to 0%. We're making over +600 gold per turn with no research. Internet due in 27 turns!

 

[balthamael]

Incredible....It's tense now!

 

[jerVL/kg]

1928AD: The UN vote comes in, and...what in the...huh??



Umm...okay. I swear, I totally didn't notice it was MY name up for Secretary General instead of Washington. But I'm in fourth place...how did that happen? (Later, I check the Victory Conditions screen and discover that I'm #1 in population. So, apparently that's how the UN decides who's eligible. Funny, I didn't know that before. It also explains why George suddenly attacked Alexander -- he's trying to increase his OWN population. Ironically, the war has nothing to do with oil at all.)

Again, Hatty demands I stop trading with Russia. I told you already, work it out girls! Her attitude drops to Pleased.

GW continues to pillage near Athens, but hasn't advanced on the city itself yet. In fact, he's wrecking tiles that properly belong to Russian now.



I finally found a city that's gone unhappy, due to the Emancipation penalty:



Not much I can do except queue up a Colosseum. There, some gladiator games oughta appease 'em. Upgrade more grenadiers & rifles to SAMs, start assembling an invasion force. Internet due in 26 turns!

1929AD: Huyana shows up with an offer I can't refuse:



Well, that takes care of the happiness problem for now. I also notice that George Washington has built TOWNS over his elephant camps. That's weird. Maybe I should invade GW next so I can build War Elephants again...naah, bad idea.

The Hyceane invasion force sets sail for Iron Island:



Along the way, they'll pick up a Frigate escort...war's due to break out any moment, and while I doubt Alex has any navy left, you never can tell with that kid. I also notice that the FARMS around Hyceane have mysteriously gone missing:



What's up with that? Global warming already?

I start upgrading Musketmen to SAMs. Internet due in 25 turns!

1930AD: The mystery of the missing farms at Hyceane is solved -- GW is strafing Alex's improvements with Jet Fighters from St. Louis! Yep, there goes another lumbermill:



Not much else is happening...SAMs continue to pillage towards Athens, but don't seem too interested in taking the city. Army continues to sail towards Bengal, more Muskets upgradeto SAMs; Internet due in 24 turns!

1931AD: Guess I'm Secretary General now. Time to vote on resolutions:



Hmm....you know, I could vote myself King of the World, secure a Diplomatic Victory, and finish the Internet in overtime. Goodness only knows how far along GW is on that spaceship, even if this war must be slowing him down. But that would be anti-climactic, you know? So let's pick the big money bill -- Single Currency, +1 trade routes. That oughta bring in extra cash.

GW advances towards Athens with a more impressive force, including Mechs & Artillery:



I start building more SAMs & Artillery for invasion, just in case he changes his mind. Meanwhile, Kohlapur has grown into unhealthiness and is now STARVING as a result:



Man, if it ain't one thing with these peasants, it's another. I queue an aqueduct in front of the half-built colosseum. Internet due in 23 turns!

1932AD: Oddly, the Mechs & Artillery near Athens disappear! Not sure what happened, but Alex has only 2 defenders left in the city, and the SAM pillagers are continuing to wreak havoc on the countryside:



The UN vote for Single Currency passes unanimously. We're now making +704gp/turn, up from +643! If only we had Free Market...or the Great Lighthouse...

All defenders have now been upgraded to SAMs, except for the occasional Rifle and/or Grenadier that I'm saving for Mech upgrades. The only exceptions are the Axeman still guarding the Punjab oil:



Yeah, if I saw an axe-wielding maniac at my oil well, I'd be intimidated too! There's also the lonely Musketman guarding Fish Island:



"Hey Bill, why is that Battleship watching us?"

"I dunno, Joe. Probably wondering what we're doing here. What are we doing here, anyway?"

"Guarding the fish. What else? Someone has to guard the fish."

"Yeah. But I'm bored. And lonely. I miss my wife and kids. It's like everyone's forgotten us. No one writes, no one calls. I wish I knew what was going on in the outside world."

"Yeah, me too. Hey, you gonna finish the rest of that sandwich?"

"Nah. You can have it."

 

[jerVL/kg]

1933AD: Alex asks me to declare war on America. No, Alex, I'm not laughing with you, I'm laughing at you. I know which way the wind is blowing.

GW is still pillaging around Athens, and seems completely disinterested in taking the city. The army is nearly to Bengal, only a few turns away. Taghaza remains unguarded, and Mansa builds...a worker. You know, because workers are more important than, like, actual military protection or anything.

Internet due in 21 turns!

1934AD: GW keeps pillaging. There is literally nothing left around the city except a few railroads. Army's nearly to Iron Island...Internet due in 20 turns!

1935AD: Time for another UN resolution. Hmm, how about this one -- "Global Civic: Emancipation." Will Emancipation work without Democracy? I sure could use it.

I also decide I could use another city in the heartland, to aid in the culture battle against Russia. (Actually, I should have done this years ago.) Indus is founded:



I had to be very careful in its placement, so it wouldn't steal the sheep away from Bangalore or any of the farms from Zhou. It does grab a few towns, but that's not important. At last I'm able to work that one deer tile, though.

Out on Gem Island, the borders of Andahuaylas have expanding, stealing a mine and a lumbermill from Russia!



At last, the army has arrived at Bengal:



Alex still has a healthy garrison there -- an Infantry, 3 SAMs, a Cavalry and 2 Catapults. I should have enough forces to take the city, but I sure could use more Artillery...sure wish I could Airlift, too!

Workers start building roads across the Ice, to facilitate the invasion. Internet due in 19 turns!

1936AD: The UN vote comes in...and sure enough, we are Emancipated!



So much for that little problem...

Meanwhile, I cancel the Oil/10gpt trade with Alex, just so my friends won't bug me about trading with him. Apparently, GW does have Oil now, and I check to see who's trading with him...well, whaddaya know:



Looks like Hatty finally found her Sugar Daddy.

Meanwhile, Mansa has finally garrisoned a Mech in Taghaza, and I notice that one of GW's Stealth Bombers has taken some damage:



The Artillery in Bengal is taking forever to build, and I can't whip anymore, thanks to being Emancipated...I really don't want to wait much longer...

...wait a moment...

...I'm running UNIVERSAL SUFFRAGE!! Silly me, I should be BUYING stuff! It costs 456 gold to buy-rush the Artillery, which I can easily afford. More stuff gets bought -- the Library in Indus, various military & improvements all around the empire. (Now I remember why this civic's so addictive; it's easy to go so buy-crazy, you use up all your money!)

Internet due in 18 turns!

1937AD: MANSA MUSA RE-DECLARES WAR ON ALEXANDER!

Immediately, half the Myceane garrison marches on Taghaza:



Like I said before -- that kid's got balls, attacking Mechs with SAMs. I think he's just pillaging & bombarding, though. That move was fortuitous, though, because now taking Hyceane will be a cakewalk. My forces move into position, and wait for the go-ahead order:



1938AD: GW completes SS Cockpit. His dyes are fixed, but he hasn't offered me a trade yet -- instead, he's trading with Mansa for Hit Movies.

Nobody asks me to declare war. Umm, guys? I'm ready now! Just give me the word, and I'm ready to go...guys? Helloooo?

Oh to HELL with this, I'm taking matters into my own hands:

 

[jerVL/kg]

1939AD: Oops...I forgot about my worker building roads, and Alex's catapult rushed out of the city and captured him. Oh well, I'll get him back. I did get treated to the sight of Alex shooting down one of Mansa's bombers:



George Washington bombs another lumbermill outside Hyceane. HEY, THOSE ARE MINE!!!

Time for another UN vote. Hmm, I dunno...how about Open Markets? Don't know how this will affect my economy, since I'm still running Mercantilism, but what the hey...

Ok, my turn. First, Bessie takes care of that pesky catapult:



While Artillery bombard Hyceane down to 10%:



And closer to home, the Athens assault force lands on the beach:



Something tells me this will be a very short-lived war.