The lamest jokes you can think of....... II

[Uncle Sparky]

I bought a thesaurus today. When I got home, I discovered all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how I feel.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Money is not the key to happiness. But if you have the money, you can have a key made.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Our new band is called 999 Megabytes. We can't get a gig...

 

[Arakhor]

1027 Meg would be a better name.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Junior: Jim Morrison was overrated!
Father: What did I tell you about slamming the Doors?

 

[Arakhor]

Heh.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

People who don't know the difference between 'your' and 'you're', there just stupid!

 

[Arakhor]

Lutefisk puts the fear of cod into me.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Soft Dutch cheese puts the fear of gouda into me.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

A joke told to me by a five year old -

E: What did one dog say to the other dog?
Arf Arf Arf Grr Grr Arf!
Me: I don't get it
E: that's cause you don't speak dog. Dogs think its very funny.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Those who do study history are doomed to stand by helplessly while everyone else repeats it.

 

[Arvedui]

Civ 6 related pickup line: Hey, wanna feel my adjacency bonus?

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Guest: What is this fly doing on my Lutefisk?
Waiter: Gagging.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Castro: I will not die until America is destroyed!
Trump: I'm president-elect!
Castro: ...well OK then...

 

[Uncle Sparky]

Dentist: I need you to open up.
Patient: Sometimes I'm sad for no reason.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

If an angel statue is removed from a fountain, is it a sans seraph font?

 

[Arakhor]

Hehe.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

The tests are back... I'm a coffee based lifeform.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

I drank rather heavily last night, so I took a bus home... It may not seem like much, but I'd never driven a bus before.

 

[Uncle Sparky]

"I like my coffee like my superheroes: strong, but not gritty . . . and please stop trying to tell me the origin story."