The Almighty dF
Pharaoh
Share with us your words of wisdom on certain truths (and half truths) of the gaming world. Be it fanbases, industry, modding community, what have you.
A few of mine:
1. The larger the mod project, the more drama the project will contain (see: Sith Lords Restoration Project, or the many emulation teams which ended up at each others throats before pulling the plug on the whole thing.)
2. The hotter the video game character, the greater the chance to see an obese person cosplay as them.
3. The better the game sounds, the longer it'll take to come out. The reverse is usually true.
4. The more obvious a small (as in easy to fix) flaw is, the less likely it is for that flaw to be fixed. (See: Rock Band 1's missing rubberband on guitar peripherals, a later installation of EVE containing a folder that if installed would remove key components of your System32 folder)
5. If Peter Molyneux is involved, assume all statements involving the game are false.
6. As much as x genre is being overdone now, you'll miss it once y genre gets run into the ground.
7. The more hype surrounding a game, the greater the chance the game will be on par with Daikatana and Two Worlds (See: Daikatana, Two Worlds, Spore.)
8. If you think a game can't get any easier, it can. (See: The new Super Mario game you don't even have to play.) The reverse is also true (See: Kaizo Mario, I Wanna Be The Guy)
9. Pre-Gamecube era Nintendo games will only seem easy until you try to go for 100% (See: Super Mario 64), with some exceptions (The Lion King punches you in the gut just for starting it up.)
10. The more dependent you are on the AI, the worse the AI will be. (See: Any squad based game or any game with a bodyguard mission.)
11. If there's an expansion pack, it's almost guaranteed that it is content that isn't worth the pricetag, with few exceptions. (EA is never an exception.)
12. "Why wait and fix a bug now when we can ship the game out and release a patch later?" is the motto for most video game companies. (Especially true for MMOs. I'm looking at you, Final Fantasy 11.)
13. Even if the score is correct, the reviewer is wrong. If it's a review of an older game, expect both to be wrong.
14. All major game review outlets are corrupt, it's just a matter of who bought who and who paid how much to who. ...And who accidentally made their corruption a bit too obvious by firing someone for giving a bad review to a game that had ads all over their site. Friends will always be the best source of game reviews.
15. No, Duke Nukem Forever is not coming out.
No, this is not the final Final Fantasy.
16. No matter how annoying a moment in a game is (see: the owl in Ocarina of Time) there will always be something worse (see: the forced laughter scene in Final Fantasy X.)
17. Sales do not relate to quality (see: Psychonauts), nor do reviews (see: Lord of the Rings Conquest.)
18. Many of the games you can't possibly imagine having favorable reviews were, in the past, given great reviews ("Turok 1 is on par with, if not better than, Doom 1.")
19. If it's an MMO based on a film/book/tv series/what have you, and if it's possible to be something iconic, everyone will be iconic. (see: Everyone is Neo on Matrix Online, 75% Jedi 25% Bounty Hunter on Star Wars Galaxies, 99% of everyone is infringing copyright in City of Heroes/Villains.)
20. The more a mod adds, the greater the chance the game will be unplayable.
A few of mine:
1. The larger the mod project, the more drama the project will contain (see: Sith Lords Restoration Project, or the many emulation teams which ended up at each others throats before pulling the plug on the whole thing.)
2. The hotter the video game character, the greater the chance to see an obese person cosplay as them.
3. The better the game sounds, the longer it'll take to come out. The reverse is usually true.
4. The more obvious a small (as in easy to fix) flaw is, the less likely it is for that flaw to be fixed. (See: Rock Band 1's missing rubberband on guitar peripherals, a later installation of EVE containing a folder that if installed would remove key components of your System32 folder)
5. If Peter Molyneux is involved, assume all statements involving the game are false.
6. As much as x genre is being overdone now, you'll miss it once y genre gets run into the ground.
7. The more hype surrounding a game, the greater the chance the game will be on par with Daikatana and Two Worlds (See: Daikatana, Two Worlds, Spore.)
8. If you think a game can't get any easier, it can. (See: The new Super Mario game you don't even have to play.) The reverse is also true (See: Kaizo Mario, I Wanna Be The Guy)
9. Pre-Gamecube era Nintendo games will only seem easy until you try to go for 100% (See: Super Mario 64), with some exceptions (The Lion King punches you in the gut just for starting it up.)
10. The more dependent you are on the AI, the worse the AI will be. (See: Any squad based game or any game with a bodyguard mission.)
11. If there's an expansion pack, it's almost guaranteed that it is content that isn't worth the pricetag, with few exceptions. (EA is never an exception.)
12. "Why wait and fix a bug now when we can ship the game out and release a patch later?" is the motto for most video game companies. (Especially true for MMOs. I'm looking at you, Final Fantasy 11.)
13. Even if the score is correct, the reviewer is wrong. If it's a review of an older game, expect both to be wrong.
14. All major game review outlets are corrupt, it's just a matter of who bought who and who paid how much to who. ...And who accidentally made their corruption a bit too obvious by firing someone for giving a bad review to a game that had ads all over their site. Friends will always be the best source of game reviews.
15. No, Duke Nukem Forever is not coming out.
No, this is not the final Final Fantasy.
16. No matter how annoying a moment in a game is (see: the owl in Ocarina of Time) there will always be something worse (see: the forced laughter scene in Final Fantasy X.)
17. Sales do not relate to quality (see: Psychonauts), nor do reviews (see: Lord of the Rings Conquest.)
18. Many of the games you can't possibly imagine having favorable reviews were, in the past, given great reviews ("Turok 1 is on par with, if not better than, Doom 1.")
19. If it's an MMO based on a film/book/tv series/what have you, and if it's possible to be something iconic, everyone will be iconic. (see: Everyone is Neo on Matrix Online, 75% Jedi 25% Bounty Hunter on Star Wars Galaxies, 99% of everyone is infringing copyright in City of Heroes/Villains.)
20. The more a mod adds, the greater the chance the game will be unplayable.
