The Simpsons - A Civ Tale

[The Duff Man]

Bart: Say goodbye to the Americans. This lone catapult is all that remains of their once proud civilization.

Defeat the Romans: Check
Defeat the Germans: Check
Defeat the Milanese: Check
Defeat the Americans: Check

It looks like India is next on the chopping block. Bwa ha ha

Lisa: Or we could just leave them alone. We dominate the continent, it might be fun to see how quickly we could reach the stars!

Marge: NOOOO! Let's get this over with, I need a break. I feel like I am on the verge of a nervous breakdown or something....oh yeah Homie, we are out of beer.

Homer: AHHHHHH! No beer and no TV invented yet make Homer something something

Marge: Go crazy?

Homer: Don't mind if I do! Wha wha wha....whoop whoopp......doo da..dee diii

Burns: It's almost time Monty....

 

[admiral-bell]

die americans

 

[The Duff Man]

Bart: We have once again cancelled science spending to upgrade our troops to riflemen.

Lisa: Ugh. If anyone needs me I'll be in my room (sax music can be heard)

Burns: The time is at hand. For millenia I have watched you bungle across the continent. Using funds I have skimmed from the coffers through the years I have paid the riflemen handsomely for their support. I control the army, so I will control the world!

Homer: Doh!

Burns: Under the NEW Incan rule there will be no Scotsmen, old people will be shipped across the continent to the Aztecs, there is no drinking, no music and no science spending. Excellent!

(the next day at a secret town meeting)

Quimby: People, take it easy. We're all upset about Mr. Burns' plan. It is time for decisive action. I have here a polite but firm letter to Mr. Burns' underlings, who with some cajoling, will pass it along to him or at least
give him the gist of it. Also it has come to my attention that many of you are stroking guns. Therefore I will step aside and open the floor.

Smithers: Mr. Burns was the closest thing to a friend I had, but he said he had no more use for me now that his plan was complete.

Willie: I'm getting shipped over to the Aztecs!

Abe: Me too!

Moe: I lost my bar!

Ghost of Barnie: I lost his bar!

Lisa: He robbed us of music and education!

Homer: He stole my empire! His days are numbered...

Burns: (skipping along merrily) I -- oh, it's you. What are you so happy
about?...I see. I think you'd better drop it. I said, drop it!"

BLAM

Marge: Someone shot Mr. Burns!

Homer: I guess we'll never know who it was, let's capture Lahore.

 

[The Duff Man]

Homer: WOO HOO! With the capture of Lahore we have acheived a Domination victory in the year 1720. USA! USA! USA!

Marge: Uh Homer, we are the Incans.

Homer: Doh!

Bart: Aww..Look at the horde I was about to throw against the walls of Madras.

Homer: (on his way out the door to Moe's) Keep going if you want, my work here is done!

 

[The Duff Man]

Narrator: Let's see how Homer's exploits stack up against the other great leaders of our time.......































C'mon, you really didn't think Homer could pull this off did you! All he wanted in return was the Dallas Cowboys...a fair trade for the world!

 

[The Duff Man]

This concludes the Simpsons Civ Story.

Be on the lookout for a spinoff short story "The Fall of Timbuktu" coming soon...

 

[culdeus]

Sweet, my first noble dom. got the same rating. Well done. Maybe you went overboard on the stacks to take down the AI, but solid effort.

 

[Stuck_as_a_Mac]

Scorpio!
He'll sting you with his dreams of power and wealth.
Beware of Scorpio!
His twisted twin obsessions are his plot to rule the world
And his employees' health.
He'll welcome you into his lair,
Like the nobleman welcomes his guest.
With free dental care and a stock plan that helps you invest!
But beware of his generous pensions,
Plus three weeks paid vacation each year,
And on Fridays the lunchroom serves hot dogs and burgers and beer!
He loves German beer!

:Trumpet Wails: Nice game.

 

[soul_warrior]

great read. funny too

 

[IroquoisPlisken]

Funny, and a good read.

I wish they'd have Scorpio on another episode, though. He's one of my favorite characters, even though he was only on once.

 

[KizilKar]

Very Good!

 

[IronMan2055]

maniac seizes east coast

 

[M37]

One of the best civ stories ever... up there with the Celtic Peackeepers.

 

[Love]

Why cant somevane do a simpsons mod?
I meen, it alredy is a family guy mod!

 

[sirtommygunn]

i was thinking of making a family guy version of that very creative however i dont no how to get screenshots peter will b ruler lois will b like marge was stewie is the military commander chris is the space administration meg is (surprisengly) in charge of culture all other names of charecters i can think of will b in my army

 

[sirtommygunn]

o ya i forgot grandpa is in charge of religeon

 

[Maniacal]

Nice and funny read! Well done! Now I can't decide if I want to get Civ4 or Oblivion for my next purchase...

 

[TyranusBonehead]

I'm a pretty big Simpsons fan, so combining Civ 4 with that is candy.

I especially like that good ol' Ralph is in there.

 

[Percile]

such a good story