The Ultimate "You Have Two Cows" Source...
- Thread starter Amenhotep7
- Start date
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
Wikipedia has all sorts of things. Some good ones:
Canadaism:
You have two cows. Vous avez deux vaches.
Communism--Reality:
You have two cows. Technically, everyone owns all the cows and everyone is equal. If you happen to be in charge of everyone and their cows, you own more of the cows than everyone else because you are more equal than they are.
Communism -- Cuban #3:
You used to have two cows, but they sailed to Miami.
Corporation, Russian:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th 5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really had.
Corporation, Swiss:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.
Democracy #1:
You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products.
Democracy -- Canadian:
The government gives two cows to natives with treaty status.
Democracy -- Singaporean:
You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
Dyslexia:
You have two woks.
Frisbeetarianism:
You have two cows. One of them flies up on the roof and gets stuck. You smoke a joint and hope the government provides cow ladders.
Political Correctness:
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallocentric, war-mongering, intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.
Simpsonism:
You have two cows. Mmmm... Cows.
Theocracy -- Taliban style:
You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan countryside and they both die. You blame the godless American infidels.
United Nationism:
You have two cows. France and Russia veto you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. China abstains
Canadaism:
You have two cows. Vous avez deux vaches.
Communism--Reality:
You have two cows. Technically, everyone owns all the cows and everyone is equal. If you happen to be in charge of everyone and their cows, you own more of the cows than everyone else because you are more equal than they are.
Communism -- Cuban #3:
You used to have two cows, but they sailed to Miami.
Corporation, Russian:
You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka. You produce your 10th 5-year plan in the last 3 months. The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really had.
Corporation, Swiss:
You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You charge for storing them for others.
Democracy #1:
You have two cows. They outvote you 2-1 to ban all meat and dairy products.
Democracy -- Canadian:
The government gives two cows to natives with treaty status.
Democracy -- Singaporean:
You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.
Dyslexia:
You have two woks.
Frisbeetarianism:
You have two cows. One of them flies up on the roof and gets stuck. You smoke a joint and hope the government provides cow ladders.
Political Correctness:
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallocentric, war-mongering, intolerant past) two differently-aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of non-specified gender.
Simpsonism:
You have two cows. Mmmm... Cows.
Theocracy -- Taliban style:
You have two cows. You turn them loose in the Afghan countryside and they both die. You blame the godless American infidels.
United Nationism:
You have two cows. France and Russia veto you from milking them. The United States and Britain veto the cows from milking you. China abstains
Amenhotep7
Spartiate
Wikipedia has real crazy links. Like this one link, proving that "Cow Tipping" is an urban legend.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_tipping
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cow_tipping
useless
Social Justice Rogue
hilereous!
amadeus
Bishop of Bio-Dome
Mexico: You have two cows. You never wash them.
Iran: You have two cows. They're both killed for being part of the Zionist conspiracy.
Zimbabwe: You had two cows. Mugabe took them both.
Iran: You have two cows. They're both killed for being part of the Zionist conspiracy.
Zimbabwe: You had two cows. Mugabe took them both.
Startaff
Shogun
Please explain. Honestly, I can't get the humour of it ???
brandonbowler
What the Deuce?
Startaff said:
Me neither...
philippe
FYI, I chase trains.
uhm hihi 
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