Tsar of the Russias: HoI2 Kaiserreich AAR
- Thread starter The Omega
- Start date
The Omega
Completely Insane
General nuclear kid will lead the attack on China if it comes. Can we please?
Well, to attack China, we'd need to
A) Attack through Persia, then India, then Indochina, then finally into china. (Lots of land to cover, and alot of it be jungle)
B) Attack through Afghanistan, Tibet, and all those other tiny mountain nations. (Lots and lots and lots of mountains, very little infastructure.)
C) Attack through Japanese held territory (Which would be a bad thing, considering the state of our navy.)
Maniacal
the green Napoleon
I like Route A the best.
However I think we should finish off Europe, then china.
However I think we should finish off Europe, then china.
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
Yes, take down Europe first.
Maniacal
the green Napoleon
AFTER we finish off the Turks.
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
You can't just attack random countries, Nuclear. You have to have some sort of strategy when it comes to attacking random countries!
The Omega
Completely Insane
If we attack Europe, we''ll be attacking Germany. They still have land that we've claimed, plus Scandinavia provides us easy access to the weakest part of their lines, plus it's close to their capital....
The Omega
Completely Insane
Part 22: Press Conference
The Tsar's Palace, St. Petersburg: March 22, 1942
Tsar Omega stood at the podium of a room filled with reporters from around the world, and all trying to get his attention. After scanning the crowd, Omega pointed at one of the reporters with a question.
Report: "Tsar Omega, how do you justify your invasions of Persia and Afghanistan?"
Omega: "The Ottoman's surprise attack against Russia taught us many things. Mainly that we must keep a watchful eye on our southern border for any possible threat. Persia and Afghanistan were both friends of the Ottomans, and both were sending large amounts of troops to our border, no doubt for an invasion they planned to launch with the Ottomans. We had to launch a preemptive strike, and replace the government with a friendlier one to prevent this unholy alliance from taking place."
Omega selected another reporter.
Reproter: "Tsar Omega, why did you choose to keep a strip of Afghani land bordering India?"
Omega: "The Afghani government and army are still weak, leaving them wide open for an attack by imperialistic forces from India. Once the Afghani's are strong enough to support themselves, we will return the land to them."
Omega chose another reporter.
Reporter: "Tsar, with your peace treaty with the Ottoman's expiring in 16 days, do you plan to go to war with them?"
Omega: "All Russia and I desire with the Ottoman's is friendship and peace *Omega's bodyguards tried very hard to keep themselves from smiling and laughing at that* and I hope that the Ottoman's feel the same. If, however, they choose to fight us, we will crush them like Russia has crushed all her enemies. That is all the questions I will be taking today. Thank you very much."
The Tsar's Palace, St. Petersburg: March 22, 1942
Tsar Omega stood at the podium of a room filled with reporters from around the world, and all trying to get his attention. After scanning the crowd, Omega pointed at one of the reporters with a question.
Report: "Tsar Omega, how do you justify your invasions of Persia and Afghanistan?"
Omega: "The Ottoman's surprise attack against Russia taught us many things. Mainly that we must keep a watchful eye on our southern border for any possible threat. Persia and Afghanistan were both friends of the Ottomans, and both were sending large amounts of troops to our border, no doubt for an invasion they planned to launch with the Ottomans. We had to launch a preemptive strike, and replace the government with a friendlier one to prevent this unholy alliance from taking place."
Omega selected another reporter.
Reproter: "Tsar Omega, why did you choose to keep a strip of Afghani land bordering India?"
Omega: "The Afghani government and army are still weak, leaving them wide open for an attack by imperialistic forces from India. Once the Afghani's are strong enough to support themselves, we will return the land to them."
Omega chose another reporter.
Reporter: "Tsar, with your peace treaty with the Ottoman's expiring in 16 days, do you plan to go to war with them?"
Omega: "All Russia and I desire with the Ottoman's is friendship and peace *Omega's bodyguards tried very hard to keep themselves from smiling and laughing at that* and I hope that the Ottoman's feel the same. If, however, they choose to fight us, we will crush them like Russia has crushed all her enemies. That is all the questions I will be taking today. Thank you very much."
The Omega
Completely Insane
Part 23: The New Middle East
On June 9, 1942, only a day after the peace treaty between Russia and the Ottomans expired, the Russian government reported that a division of Ottoman soldiers had crossed the border, seized a radio station, and spread malicious propaganda against Russia. Whilest the Ottoman's fiercely denied this, it didn't stop Russia from declaring war.
The war was over in 5 days. The Ottoman army was completely crushed by the superior Russian forces. With the Ottomans gone, Russia divided the Middle East. The states of Iraq, Syria, and Palestine were created. All that was left for Russia to do to win the war would be to destroy the Ottoman's allies Tunisia and Libya.
On June 9, 1942, only a day after the peace treaty between Russia and the Ottomans expired, the Russian government reported that a division of Ottoman soldiers had crossed the border, seized a radio station, and spread malicious propaganda against Russia. Whilest the Ottoman's fiercely denied this, it didn't stop Russia from declaring war.
The war was over in 5 days. The Ottoman army was completely crushed by the superior Russian forces. With the Ottomans gone, Russia divided the Middle East. The states of Iraq, Syria, and Palestine were created. All that was left for Russia to do to win the war would be to destroy the Ottoman's allies Tunisia and Libya.
The Omega
Completely Insane
Part 24: The New Empire
The wars following the fall of the Ottomans were rather anticlimactic. Libya and Tunisia had depended entirely on the Ottomans for support, and with them gone, they were quickly defeated by the Russians, and had their old governments replaced by ones more friendly towards Tsar Omega. Intelligence reports at the time also showed that Egypt's army was very weak, so Omega immediantly launched an invasion, which ended quickly and bloodlessly. Egpyt was divided into two parts; in the south, the nation of Sudan was created. Russia kept Egyptian lands in the north, because the Tsar had said something about the Pyramids giving a free granary in every city, or some nonsense like that.
During the Egyptian invasion, another invasion was launched in the Arabian peninsula, when Russian forces attacked Njed. Russia quickly triumphed, and replaced the old government with a friendly one. Njed actually benefited from the war, as Russia gave them the lands on the Arabian coast. With the Middle East mostly secure, Omega turned his eyes towards Europe....
Kaiser's Palace, Berlin: August 3, 1942
The captain ran through the Kaiser's palace, oblivious to the chaos he was leaving behind him. Numerous times he ran into a servant, or knocked over priceless antiques, but would only slow down long enough to give a brief apology, then run off. Finally, he reached an ornate door flanked by two guards. As he went to open the door, one of the guards blocked his path.
Guard: "Sorry, but the Kaiser will see no one. He's excersising his moustache muscles."
Captain: "But I must see him immediantly! It's an emergency!"
Guard:"The Kaiser cannot be disturbed while excersising his moustache. Say, are you a fan of Chaplin?"
The Captain didn't bother replying, and instead pushed the guard out of the way and ran into the room, where Kaiser Whillhem II was lifting weights with his moustache.
Kaiser: "Now Adolf, you now you're not supposed to interrupt me while I'm excersising my moustache!"
Adolf: "Sir, it's an emergency! The Russians are invading!"
(Russia's empire the on the day of the invasion)
The wars following the fall of the Ottomans were rather anticlimactic. Libya and Tunisia had depended entirely on the Ottomans for support, and with them gone, they were quickly defeated by the Russians, and had their old governments replaced by ones more friendly towards Tsar Omega. Intelligence reports at the time also showed that Egypt's army was very weak, so Omega immediantly launched an invasion, which ended quickly and bloodlessly. Egpyt was divided into two parts; in the south, the nation of Sudan was created. Russia kept Egyptian lands in the north, because the Tsar had said something about the Pyramids giving a free granary in every city, or some nonsense like that.
During the Egyptian invasion, another invasion was launched in the Arabian peninsula, when Russian forces attacked Njed. Russia quickly triumphed, and replaced the old government with a friendly one. Njed actually benefited from the war, as Russia gave them the lands on the Arabian coast. With the Middle East mostly secure, Omega turned his eyes towards Europe....Kaiser's Palace, Berlin: August 3, 1942
The captain ran through the Kaiser's palace, oblivious to the chaos he was leaving behind him. Numerous times he ran into a servant, or knocked over priceless antiques, but would only slow down long enough to give a brief apology, then run off. Finally, he reached an ornate door flanked by two guards. As he went to open the door, one of the guards blocked his path.
Guard: "Sorry, but the Kaiser will see no one. He's excersising his moustache muscles."
Captain: "But I must see him immediantly! It's an emergency!"
Guard:"The Kaiser cannot be disturbed while excersising his moustache. Say, are you a fan of Chaplin?"
The Captain didn't bother replying, and instead pushed the guard out of the way and ran into the room, where Kaiser Whillhem II was lifting weights with his moustache.
Kaiser: "Now Adolf, you now you're not supposed to interrupt me while I'm excersising my moustache!"
Adolf: "Sir, it's an emergency! The Russians are invading!"
(Russia's empire the on the day of the invasion)
IronMan2055
Korra 2011
they sound more anticlimatic, and i've decided to make my title Minister of International Policies (my ministry gets so much more funding than subi's
(that's a reference in a reference there))
The Omega
Completely Insane
Part 25: WAR!
Denmark
SuperBeaver and his Ministry of Silly Walks waited patiently on the Scandinavian-German border. After about an hour of sitting around, SuperBeacer checked his watch again.
SuperBeaver: "War's started by now. Open fire."
A single tank fired, destroying the shed that had been housing the German's entire border garrison. With it gone, the only German forces nearby had been obliterated. SuperBeaver waved towards the vast miles of open, ungaurded territory.
SuperBeaver: "Welcome to Germany, boys!"
Poland
NuclearKid: "FIRE!"
The entire division of tanks simultaniously fired at the Polish, destroying the last remnants of order left. With the enemy retreating, NuclearKid began moving forward again.
NuclearKid: "Bob, destroy that bridge there."
A tank fired on the bridge, collapsing it.
NuclearKid: "That's another 7 divisions we've trapped. How many is that so far?"
Bob: "Well, there was 6 in the first pocket we made, 3 in that other one, and 7 in this one, so that's about 16."
NuclearKid: "Well, let's hurry up and get some more!"
Venice
Omega led his army into the newly conquered city of Venice. The streets and canals of the city were strangely quiet....
Yuri: "Are you sure you should be out in the open, sir? This city is probably full of people who want to kill you....."
Omega: "Nonsense! We'll be greeted as liberators!"
Just then, a man with a gun ran out of a house, pulling out a pistol and aiming it at Omega.
Yuri: "Watch out, sir!"
Yuri fired three rounds into the gunmen before he could shoot at Omega.
Omega: "Wow, you just saved my life again. Have another medal."
Omega pulled a medal out of his pocket and pinned it on Yuri's shirt.
Yuri: "Sir, we shouldn't wear medals on the battlefield.... It attracts attention...."
Omega: "Nonsense! If every soldier in our army wore 100 medals, the enemy would be blinded by our shinyness!"
Yuri: "Whatever you say, Tsar...."
Skys over Austria
Kan and his numerous wings of dive bombers blackened the skies over Austria. Below, Austrian soldiers franticly dived for cover. But there would be no escape. The hundreds of dive bombers dived towards the enemy.
Kan: "KAAAAAAN!!!!!"
The ground exploded in firey explodyness, throwing the enemy into disarray.
Kan: "Ha! That'll teach them! Another battle won thanks to air power!"
Wingman 1: "....."
Wingman 2: "Should we tell him the actual fighting's miles away?"
Wingman 1: "Nah, let him have his fun."
Vienna
Zhukov: "Open fire! Don't let them get away!"
Despite under heavy fire from tanks, the Austrian soldiesr were able to hide inside a building before being killed.
Zhukov: "Take that building down!"
Other Tank Commander: "Sir! Enemy infantry behind us! They've taken out two tanks already!"
Zhukov: "Turn us around!"
A tank next to Zhukov exploded when hit by an anti-tank rifle, sending shrapnel that nearly took Zhukov's head off. An Austrian plane flew down, and shot up another tank by Zhukov.
Zhukov: "We're taking too many casualties! Get us out of here!"
Driver: "There's enemy soldiers in the way! What should we do?"
Zhukov: "We're in a tank! Just drive through them!"
And so, Zhukov and the remnants of his tank army barely escaped from the hellhole of Vienna.
(The map at the time of the update)
Oh, and our subs have sank about 10 enemy convoys.
Denmark
SuperBeaver and his Ministry of Silly Walks waited patiently on the Scandinavian-German border. After about an hour of sitting around, SuperBeacer checked his watch again.
SuperBeaver: "War's started by now. Open fire."
A single tank fired, destroying the shed that had been housing the German's entire border garrison. With it gone, the only German forces nearby had been obliterated. SuperBeaver waved towards the vast miles of open, ungaurded territory.
SuperBeaver: "Welcome to Germany, boys!"
Poland
NuclearKid: "FIRE!"
The entire division of tanks simultaniously fired at the Polish, destroying the last remnants of order left. With the enemy retreating, NuclearKid began moving forward again.
NuclearKid: "Bob, destroy that bridge there."
A tank fired on the bridge, collapsing it.
NuclearKid: "That's another 7 divisions we've trapped. How many is that so far?"
Bob: "Well, there was 6 in the first pocket we made, 3 in that other one, and 7 in this one, so that's about 16."
NuclearKid: "Well, let's hurry up and get some more!"
Venice
Omega led his army into the newly conquered city of Venice. The streets and canals of the city were strangely quiet....
Yuri: "Are you sure you should be out in the open, sir? This city is probably full of people who want to kill you....."
Omega: "Nonsense! We'll be greeted as liberators!"
Just then, a man with a gun ran out of a house, pulling out a pistol and aiming it at Omega.
Yuri: "Watch out, sir!"
Yuri fired three rounds into the gunmen before he could shoot at Omega.
Omega: "Wow, you just saved my life again. Have another medal."
Omega pulled a medal out of his pocket and pinned it on Yuri's shirt.
Yuri: "Sir, we shouldn't wear medals on the battlefield.... It attracts attention...."
Omega: "Nonsense! If every soldier in our army wore 100 medals, the enemy would be blinded by our shinyness!"
Yuri: "Whatever you say, Tsar...."
Skys over Austria
Kan and his numerous wings of dive bombers blackened the skies over Austria. Below, Austrian soldiers franticly dived for cover. But there would be no escape. The hundreds of dive bombers dived towards the enemy.
Kan: "KAAAAAAN!!!!!"
The ground exploded in firey explodyness, throwing the enemy into disarray.
Kan: "Ha! That'll teach them! Another battle won thanks to air power!"
Wingman 1: "....."
Wingman 2: "Should we tell him the actual fighting's miles away?"
Wingman 1: "Nah, let him have his fun."
Vienna
Zhukov: "Open fire! Don't let them get away!"
Despite under heavy fire from tanks, the Austrian soldiesr were able to hide inside a building before being killed.
Zhukov: "Take that building down!"
Other Tank Commander: "Sir! Enemy infantry behind us! They've taken out two tanks already!"
Zhukov: "Turn us around!"
A tank next to Zhukov exploded when hit by an anti-tank rifle, sending shrapnel that nearly took Zhukov's head off. An Austrian plane flew down, and shot up another tank by Zhukov.
Zhukov: "We're taking too many casualties! Get us out of here!"
Driver: "There's enemy soldiers in the way! What should we do?"
Zhukov: "We're in a tank! Just drive through them!"
And so, Zhukov and the remnants of his tank army barely escaped from the hellhole of Vienna.
(The map at the time of the update)
Oh, and our subs have sank about 10 enemy convoys.
The Omega
Completely Insane
they sound more anticlimatic, and i've decided to make my title Minister of International Policies (my ministry gets so much more funding than subi's
Oops, I meant anticlimactic. Fixed.
Maniacal
the green Napoleon
And where am i during this capmaign?
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
The Omega
Completely Insane
Well, due to the fact that everything that comes underneath your planes seems to die a quick and very painfrul firey death, I've been sending your 16 groups of planes to whichever country I happen to need them in most at the moment.
Maniacal
the green Napoleon
Sounds good.
The Omega
Completely Insane
I Really Quick Update Before I Get Back to Playing
Well.... I've played over a month in the game, and really should have updated sooner, but I've gotten so caught up in the war that I keep thinking, "Only a few minutes more, and then I'll update!" Somehow that few minutes more turned into a buncha hours....
So anyways, I was able to drag myself from the game long enough to give at least a status report of whats going on.
-Declared war on, conquered, and released as puppet Yemen and Sianking.
-Somehow a German fleet got into the Med. and forced my transport fleet that was going to attack Malta to retreat back to Crete.
-Finally annexed all of Germanies Baltic State puppets.
-After losing a bajillion soldiers trying to take it, Zhukov finally captured Vienna. Austria was annexed a few weeks later when my personal army captured the last victory point thing.
-Zhukov proceeded to slaughter every enemy nearby, and almost singlehandedly annex Bohemia and Poland (Both had been really bloody stalemates up till then)
-SuperBeaver cut Germany in half, and captured Berlin.
-NuclearKid has seems to have encircled and destroyed half the enemy army in multiple small encirlements (I don't know how, but whenever I encirlce someone, Nuclearkid always seems to be leading it.... It's starting to freak me out how he seems to be everywhere at once....)
-PrinceScamp and Kan continue to kill everything that is underneath them.
And here be a picture:
Well.... I've played over a month in the game, and really should have updated sooner, but I've gotten so caught up in the war that I keep thinking, "Only a few minutes more, and then I'll update!" Somehow that few minutes more turned into a buncha hours....
So anyways, I was able to drag myself from the game long enough to give at least a status report of whats going on.
-Declared war on, conquered, and released as puppet Yemen and Sianking.
-Somehow a German fleet got into the Med. and forced my transport fleet that was going to attack Malta to retreat back to Crete.
-Finally annexed all of Germanies Baltic State puppets.
-After losing a bajillion soldiers trying to take it, Zhukov finally captured Vienna. Austria was annexed a few weeks later when my personal army captured the last victory point thing.
-Zhukov proceeded to slaughter every enemy nearby, and almost singlehandedly annex Bohemia and Poland (Both had been really bloody stalemates up till then)
-SuperBeaver cut Germany in half, and captured Berlin.
-NuclearKid has seems to have encircled and destroyed half the enemy army in multiple small encirlements (I don't know how, but whenever I encirlce someone, Nuclearkid always seems to be leading it.... It's starting to freak me out how he seems to be everywhere at once....)
-PrinceScamp and Kan continue to kill everything that is underneath them.
And here be a picture:
