"We ignore your feeble threats"

[Stefan Haertel]

A while ago, a couple of classmates and I have acted loudly and stupidly during history class (anyone who's been in school can imagine what I mean). Our teacher has then made the most stupid and ridiculous threat I've ever heard. To understand this, however, I need to explain the situation: I'm in a private school, so the official education policy is not being practiced here. I'm in grade thirteen, which is being understood solely as a preparation for the final exams, which are the only ones that count (in contrary to the official school system). That means, any tests we write during the year are only practice, and don't count at all.
So, our teacher said: "If I hear another single noise from you back there, you're going to write a test next lesson, and I mean a really tough one!"
At first, we were stunned, but after a few seconds, we all realized that this doesn't mean anything to us and plainly laughed.
This is pretty much the dumbest and most pointless threat I've ever had. I'm looking forward to others posting their experiences here.

 

[Achinz]

This is not exactly in the "threat" category but fits into unintended fluffs by teachers.

During a physical education session in the school field, the female teacher was trying to teach her 12 year old boys ball handling skills using tennis balls. After some intensive ball tossing, she issued the order, "Now hold on to your balls". To which the boys promptly covered the the appropriate part of their anatomy with their hands!

 

[CIVPhilzilla]

lmao, I love when the teachers mess up what they are trying to say.

I find it funny that my science teachers voice still cracks nearly every day.

 

[The Person]

I can imagine such a threat from the Civ AI...

"You have insulted us for the last time. Prepare for our hardest maths test ever!"

 

[Perfection]

History teachers are funny ones, mine's a raving liberal ideologue! He calls us "Damn Kids!" Then yells at us. He's a cranky old man!