Welcome at Castle Anthrax!

[Shabbaman]

Hello noble visitor, welcome at Castle Anthrax! Castle Anthrax is located south of the city of Bremershaven. It is perfectly situated to protect both the city and its surrounding countryside.
General Shabbaman and his eight score of servants call it "home", but it also houses the target range.

For a mere 50 gold, you can practice your engineering skills with the only cannon available for public use in all of Fanatika! After that, you can sample the perils of Castle Anthrax! A private room for the night is included!

You can choose to shoot cannonballs or cow's dung up to one tile away! This gives you the opportunity to annoy bypassers on the road south, pick on the famous cows from the surrounding plains , or take your chances with Sir Cyc or Sir Octavian X (repercussions at own risk)

We wish you good luck! If you at any time have doubts about your engineering skills, feel free to attend the engineering class at the Academy.

If you have any spare time, take a look at the castle itself:

Please note the Grail Shaped Beacon!

Perhaps the Lord of the Castle is willing to grand you a grand tour of the walls. From there, you'd have a nice outview over the strategic allocations of the surrounding earthworks, which make Castle Anthrax such an impregnable keep!

 

[Shabbaman]

Castle Anthrax is a Small Palace. As such, it's stats are as follow:

Type of room/number

Dining room: 1
Bedrooms: 4
Living rooms: 2
Other rooms: 4
Servant rooms: enough for my 8 score of servants
Main Hall: 1
Pool room: 1
Roman bath: 1

Castle Anthrax Defensive Statistics

Type of structure/defence modifier

Armory: x2
Fort: x3
Guard house: x4
Walls: x6 
External fort: x8

Defender statistics

none

plus 1 cannon
bombard: 8
range: 1 (enough to shoot cow dung at Bremershaven!)
rate of fire: 2

Castle Anthrax's famous defensive force

The famous cannon!

Note that the external fort is usually not available for the Small Palace class. The brilliant students of the Academy of Noble and Martial Skills have constructed these brilliant earthworks as a token of gratitude to their engineering teacher, Sir Shabbaman himself.

Some of Shabbaman's servants.

 

[Stuck_as_a_Mac]

Just a question: are we or are we not 20 score madiens between the ages of 16-20 who enjoy cooking, cleaning, bathing, sewing and trying on naughty undergarments?
/me hits himself.
Bad Zoot! Evil Zoot! Wicked, naughty Zoot.
As I leave, I cry I out "No, wait, its my knightly duty to sample as much peril as I possibly can!!"

 

[Shabbaman]

That is for setting alight the Grail Shaped Beacon!

 

[Cyc]

Hey Shabbaman. A castle from the dark side, nicely done. Truly a work of art. It's nice to know I have a strategically placed and stable nieghbor.

First off, I'd like to take the tour. Second, show me to the Catapult and point me to the cows. I feel like flinging it right back at 'em.

 

[Shabbaman]

It's not that hard, but aiming requires skill. You're skill level is at 3.68 I see...

Well...

If you take that shovel and put the dung in, I'll take a step back if you don't mind.

Yes, like that.

No, it doesn't matter that you fell into there, it just might smell a little
The stains will come off if you wash your clothes...

Okay, now you've to turn the wheels to adjust the vertical angle (for the trajectory, iow how far the "projectile" has to go) and the horizontal angle (not only for the aim, but don't forget to correct for side winds)

Where the wind is coming from?

Why do you think I'm standing here and you're standing there?


Well, this looks good to me. I think that cow is about to get another spot... You'll compensate me if the milk gets sour, won't you?

Now, just fire the thing. All you've to do is pull that lever, but make sure your hand doesn't get stuck in there!

Ready? Go!

Cyc?

...

Are you allright?

Hello?

 

[Grandmaster]

Python and the Holy Grail..... greatest movie EVER.....
So General Shabba, any idea when your Knighting ceremony is going to be?

 

[Shabbaman]

Soon, I hope, so I can sample all the peril I face every day.

 

[Stuck_as_a_Mac]

Hmmm... Sir SaaM: Me thinks we be making a round table soon. And also: I CAN both sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable.
On second thought, let us not do that. Tis a silly idea. Come Patsy, let us ride.
/me really has coconuts. (Really, and they were hard to do too)

Brave Sir SaaM ran away, away away...
I did not!

 

[Octavian X]

As long as you aren't flinging MY various livestock, nor taunting bypassers, Vanir is the perfect target

 

[gunning1]

If you shoot anything at Vanir, prepare to meet our wrath!!!!!!

 

[Shabbaman]

Beware, or I shall taunt you a second time!

 

[Stuck_as_a_Mac]

Now go away, you slimy wipers of other peoples bottoms!
Your mother was a hampster and your father smelt of elderberries!

ECCKY ECCKY ECCKY ECCKY PUCLANG ZUP BOING ... ni...

 

[Grandmaster]

Of course we are French! why else would we have this outrageous accent?!

 

[Shabbaman]

Hello everyone! Happy new year!

 

[SKILORD]

hehehe.

"You're gay!"
"I am not"

(As the knights leave the castle)

I like this thread, and would definately like some peril.

 

[Cyc]

Ah, Shabbaman! Good to see you again.

To the Cannons, my friend. I want to purchase an all day pass. I hope you have the balls to keep these Cannons working all day. Let's see, you put the Canon ball in this end and light this end...

Maybe we'll get lucky and see some elephants to shoot at. If not, the Cattle are fine. Hmm, maybe I'll fire one off towards the Salient and go looking for it later. Hey, do I get extra points for hitting a Russian or an Iroquios and starting a war?

 

[Shabbaman]

Originally posted by SKILORD
I like this thread, and would definately like some peril.

Oh, get on with it!

Sir Cyc, what a pleasant surprise! Now, before we go and play with the cannon, let me point out that I still regret the nasty catapult incident...

 

[Cyc]

Fret not about it, Sir Shabbaman. Now that you have graduated from mechanical contraptions to units that operate by chemical reaction, what could possibly go wrong? Accidents will happen. Let's go make some noise and target shoot....

 

[Shabbaman]

Let's get it on then! I'm glad we finally found some good use for that huge stash of Fanatikan Boompowder.

This one is even easier than the catapult, sir Cyc. It doesn't even have any rotating parts in which your hands might get stuck again... Make sure you don't put any body parts (of your own) in it's mouth!
What do you want to shoot this time? We could scare your Bremershaven citizens, or we might just as well get back at that cow you hit last time.