The description for Deity difficulty is that it's for "the best players in the world", but the consensus here seems to be that certain things disqualify people from being able to brag about their Deity wins: playing on Archipelago, trading before DoWing, playing as Austria, policy saving, etc.
Meh I dunno if it's worth "bragging" about at all.
The reason Archipelago is treated like that is because the AI is still pretty horrible with water maps and navies and one of its big bonuses, population, gets stuck working horrible tiles. The same can be said for basically any water map smaller than Continents, though.
I don't see a big deal about playing AS Austria; the player actually has to make decisions about using the UA, unlike the AI.
Policy saving....eh. I think the big thing is that takes out an element of planning that you have to do to make sure you're in the proper era in time, because that wasted policy can really delay stuff like the Rationalism finisher.
Basically, don't play to brag; play to do what you have fun with or challenges you.
So what settings would be worthy? I've heard a lot of good things about Pangea, so my first non-cheesy Deity game is currently being played on a huge marathon map with random opponents and standard settings as the Mayans. I only rerolled once, and while I'm still not satisfied with the non-coastal start I got, at least it has a desert and mountain nearby. I was DoW'ed really early on by both Austria and the Huns, but much reloading enabled me to fight back their attacks and gain a good amount of veteran ranged units in the process, which I'm hoping to use to begin my warpath soon.
It occurred to me then that people might say that reloading the saves were the wrong way to go, but I think that only counts if you're trying to change the outcome of a ruin or coup. But yeah, what are Deity game settings that you can brag about a win with?
I usually play Standard and Pangaea when I play Deity(which is becoming more often because I have some kind of masochistic desire to deal with Deity unit spam). I think this does the best job at leveling the playing field between you and the AI. Slower speeds favor the player, and Quick favors the AI and makes things pretty ridiculous.
About reloading...it depends. I think it's acceptable if you're using the game as a "learning experience" instead of using it as a crutch. Like, for example, if it's your first game and you had that situation, reloading would be okay as long as you learned "Okay, I need to do this instead of what I did before that got me killed". If you do it repeatedly, THEN it becomes a problem.
My reloads almost always come from misclicks or a bug such as the annoying bug at the start of turns where you get forced to select a unit and you accidentally end up moving that one instead of the one you meant to, even if you have unit cycling off or the bug where AI units are randomly invisible or display on the wrong tile. This is especially annoying when you get ZoC'd by an invisible unit or there's an invisible Crossbow inside a city and you see the damage log for the .00002 seconds it displays and you're like "...What Crossbow?". I guess you could argue I shouldn't reload on misclicks, but that seems like a really harsh punishment for an accidental mouse movement.
I guess the only "questionable" time I'll reload is a situation like this: I'm trying to attack a city, I've moved my units in and am preparing to bring the siege and backups in...and then a third AI that has Open Borders with my target decides to clog things up with his units. No, seriously, I had a time where I was attacking Hiawatha, and Gandhi was marching his army of Pikes and elephants to launch a brilliant attack against Sejong's Gatling Guns. Well, he gets there and suddenly changes his mind and tries to walk back and his units get logjammed near the city I'm attacking. Well, hey, guess what, Hiawatha has the Great Wall and there's marsh tiles, so any efforts to go around were completely useless, and Gandhi's units kept getting stuck on the tiles I was trying to put my Cannons on. To make things worse, a frickin city-state was behind me and it was near a river, so there was basically no room to maneuver to get my Musketeers in without getting shot up by about 6 Crossbows. For the record, I didn't reload there; I flipped a table and went to play TF2.

You might be asking "Why didn't you just blow up Gandhi's units?"...I wanted to but we still had a DoF.
