Who wants to proof-read my homework? (En Français)

[Cunobelin Of Hippo]

Okay, I'm creating a newspaper for the day I was born If anyone sees any gross errors (or irrelevent ones for that matter) feel free to point them out, give me some idea as to how they might be corrected, and mock my linguistic failings mercilessly (at your own risk ). It will be most appreciated

So........(more to follow )

----------


Guerre De Prix à la North Shore!

Les épiciers du North Shore preparaient pour un geurre de prix cette semaine passe. Safeway, IGA, et Super Valu sont nervuex parce-que la grade ouvriture de Save-on-Foods est ce matin. Ils le disaient va perdre ses clients. Ils aussi le disaient le counseil municipal de Vancouver du Nord se donnait le traitement special. Jimmy Pattison, le propriétaire de Save-on-Foods, a nié les accusations. Clients de les magasins sont heureux parce-que les prix de nourritures vont baisses.

Perturbations de l`Ecole!

Emuetes 101: un classe noveau pour les éléves faches! A plusieurs de l'ecoles secondaire de Vancouver les éléves participaient dans grèves-surprises. Le cause? Les réduires financement par le Gouvernement Provincial. Les administrateurs espérent, aprés beaucoup des assemblées hier soir, les gouvernements d`éléves vont persuader les autre éléves en aller à classe aujourd'hui.

 

[Sodapop]

I don't know your level of french, but I'll do what I can to help you. Just explain what you mean for the sentence I asked about, and I'll complete your work And if you don't understand a correction, please tell me, and I'll try to explain to you your mistakes.



Guerre De Prix à la North Shore! (if you're talking about a city : Guerre de prix À North Shore!)

Les épiciers du North Shore (again, if it is a city : Les épiciers DE North Shore) SE prÉparaient pour unE geurre (if it isn't a typo : guerre) de prix cette semaine passe (if you mean last week : ... de prix la semaine derniere).

Safeway, IGA, et Super Valu sont nervuex (here, again, if this isn't a typo : nerveux) parce que la grade (typo : grande) ouvriture (typo? : ouverture) de Save-on-Foods est ce matin.

Ils le disaient va perdre ses clients (ouch, this one is filled with errors. If you mean, "they were saying that they would lose all their clients", then the correct sentence would be : Ils craignaient de perdre des clients) (craignaient : to fear to).

Ils aussi le disaient le counseil municipal de Vancouver du Nord se donnait le traitement special (I don't understand this one, could you explain please?).

Jimmy Pattison, le propriétaire de Save-on-Foods, a nié les accusations. (this one is good)

Clients de les magasins sont heureux parce-que les prix de nourritures vont baisses. (Les clients des magasins sont heureux parce que le prix de la nourriture va baissé)

Perturbations de l`Ecole!

Emeutes 101: un classe noveau pour les éléves faches! (what do you mean here?)

A plusieurs de l'ecoles secondaire de Vancouver les éléves participaient dans grèves-surprises. (Dans plusieurs écoles secondaire de Vancouver, les élèves participaient à des grèves surprises)

Le cause? (La cause?)

Les réduires financement par le Gouvernement Provincial. (Les réductions du financement par le Gouvernement provincial)

Les administrateurs espérent, aprés beaucoup des assemblées hier soir, les gouvernements d`éléves vont persuader les autre éléves en aller à classe aujourd'hui. (Les administrateurs espèrent, après les assemblées hier soir, que "les gouvernements d'élèves" (dont know what you mean here), vont persuader les autres élèves d'aller en classe aujourd'hui)

 

[Cunobelin Of Hippo]

Whoa! Great work Unknown Soldier! My teacher would've had my head over a couple of those things, especially the typos!

Okay, let's see if I can clarify a couple of those sentences...

"Emeutes 101: un classe noveau pour les éléves faches!" - Riots 101: A new class for angry students! (trying to be clever with my intro )

"Les administrateurs espérent, aprés beaucoup des assemblées hier soir, les gouvernements d`éléves vont persuader les autre éléves en aller à classe aujourd'hui." - Yeah, that was a yucky one "The Administrators hope, that after many meetings last night, student councils will persuade the other students to go to class today."

"Ils aussi le disaient le counseil municipal de Vancouver du Nord se donnait le traitement special" - They also say that the North Van. municipal government gave them (Save-On) special treatment.

Hope that makes them understandable!

 

[Sodapop]

Ok, I'm going to correct those last mistakes, and I'll post the complete work without any comments :

Emeutes 101: un classe noveau pour les éléves faches!" - Riots 101: A new class for angry students! (trying to be clever with my intro ) should be :

Émeutes 101 : une nouvelle classe pour les élèves mécontents.(angry means faché, but if you want to get some points for some nice sentence... )

"Les administrateurs espérent, aprés beaucoup des assemblées hier soir, les gouvernements d`éléves vont persuader les autre éléves en aller à classe aujourd'hui." - Yeah, that was a yucky one "The Administrators hope, that after many meetings last night, student councils will persuade the other students to go to class today." becomes :

Les administrateurs espèrent, après les assemblées hier soir, que les conseils étudiants ont persuadés les autres étudiant de retourner en classe aujourd'hui

"Ils aussi le disaient le counseil municipal de Vancouver du Nord se donnait le traitement special" - They also say that the North Van. municipal government gave them (Save-On) special treatment" should be :

Ils ont aussi dit que le conseil municipal de Vancouver Nord leur donnait des traitements de faveur.

Some corrections may differ from the previous posts :

Guerre de prix à North Shore.

Les épiciers de North Shore se préparaient à une guerre de prix la semaine dernière. Safeway, IGA et Super Value sont nerveux car la grande ouverture de Save-on-Foods est ce matin. Ils craignaient de perdre des clients. Ils disaient aussi que le conseil municipal de Vancouver Nord leur offrait un traitement spécial. Jimmy Pattison, le propriétaire de Save-on-Foods, a nié les accusations. Les clients des magasins sont heureux parce que le prix de la nourriture va baissé.

Perturbations à l'école

Émeutes 101 : une nouvelle classe pour les élèves mécontents. Dans plusieurs écoles secondaire de Vancouver, les élèves participaient à des grèves surprises. La cause? Les réductions du financement par le Gouvernement provincial. Les administrateurs espèrent, après les assemblées hier soir, que les conseils étudiants ont persuadés les autres étudiants de retourner en classe aujourd'hui.

-----------------------------------------------------------
Now, I could have made some typos myself, and since french isn't a course in which I'm very good, there still can be some mistakes, but if your teacher isn't french, he probably won't notice those. And if you get a horrible mark, you can always ban me for some days.

 

[Cunobelin Of Hippo]

Great! Nice work, Soldier I'll just make sure it's dumbed-down to the level of an HS French student who started his largest project of the year the weekend it was due and we're set Got some nice clipart to go along with it, including......(for the 'Price War' article )

 

[geake]

Originally posted by Unknown soldier

Guerre de prix à North Shore.

Les épiciers de North Shore se préparaient à une guerre de prix la semaine dernière. Safeway, IGA et Super Value sont nerveux car la grande ouverture de Save-on-Foods est ce matin. Ils craignaient de perdre des clients. Ils disaient aussi que le conseil municipal de Vancouver Nord leur offrait un traitement spécial. Jimmy Pattison, le propriétaire de Save-on-Foods, a nié les accusations. Les clients des magasins sont heureux parce que le prix de la nourriture va baissé.

Perturbations à l'école

Émeutes 101 : une nouvelle classe pour les élèves mécontents. Dans plusieurs écoles secondaire de Vancouver, les élèves participaient à des grèves surprises. La cause? Les réductions du financement par le Gouvernement provincial. Les administrateurs espèrent, après les assemblées hier soir, que les conseils étudiants ont persuadés les autres étudiants de retourner en classe aujourd'hui.

There are a few mistakes left ...
I would say : "une guerre deS prix ", it sounds more correct.
An awful one (sorry) : "le prix de la nourriture va baisseR "
"dans plusieurs écoles secondaireS"
and last but not least, "les conseils étudiants ont persuadé" without a "s".

But in the whole, it was a goob job.

 

[Sodapop]

Geake, why did you have to remind me I'm awful at writting french ??? I have exam this week. I think I'm dead now. Seriously, I'm even more awful when I type on a comp. And I was kind of sleeping to when I wrote all this. But about the first mistake, it may be an expression coming from Quebec, but I'm sure I heard that many times. But for the other ones, you're right, that's the kind of mistake I shouldn't make.

 

[geake]

Originally posted by Unknown soldier
Geake, why did you have to remind me I'm awful at writting french ??? I have exam this week. I think I'm dead now. Seriously, I'm even more awful when I type on a comp. And I was kind of sleeping to when I wrote all this. But about the first mistake, it may be an expression coming from Quebec, but I'm sure I heard that many times. But for the other ones, you're right, that's the kind of mistake I shouldn't make.

Yes. Maybe you're right. It might be an expression from quebec. But most of the time, I don't understand their expressions at all, so since I understood that one, I thought, well, i thought "he forgot the "s" that's all..."

But otherwise, you're not awful at writing french. You're quite good actually. I know a lot of french people who make a lot more mistakes than you do.

 

[duke o' york]

Geake, I'm not going to criticise your French - that would be churlish - but I am going to point out that this is Hippo's homework after all, and if he's been making a few dumb mistakes every week this term then for him to hand in a linguistically perfect piece now would be a tiny bit suspicious. If you're going to help him out then tell him some places to put the mistakes back in so that although the majority will be correct, and in good French, the mark of Hippo will still be on the work and he won't come under suspicion from his teacher. You've got to be sneaky if you're going to cheat properly!

 

[geake]

Originally posted by duke o' york
Geake, I'm not going to criticise your French - that would be churlish - but I am going to point out that this is Hippo's homework after all, and if he's been making a few dumb mistakes every week this term then for him to hand in a linguistically perfect piece now would be a tiny bit suspicious. If you're going to help him out then tell him some places to put the mistakes back in so that although the majority will be correct, and in good French, the mark of Hippo will still be on the work and he won't come under suspicion from his teacher. You've got to be sneaky if you're going to cheat properly!

Yes I know how you have to cheat. But in fact a perfect paper would be a paper with no grammatical mistakes, I mean obvious mistakes, and since you're not supposed to speak perfect french, your sentences have to be built in a rather unnatural way (in the "this sounds strange" way).
The lack of mistakes shows you've been working very hard, which is a good point I think. The twisted sentences (not every sentence of course but some) show that this is not a french person who wrote it. That's how his paper actually looks after all the mistakes were corrected.
And actually, I must say I have become very good at writing "twisted sentences" in french when I helped my girlfriend to write a paper in french.