Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Crowpocalyptic1

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Everyone knows the old "why did the chicken cross the road" joke, but what would these people say if asked?

Why did the chicken cross the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANZ BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

MOHAMMED ALDOURI (Iraq ambassador)
The chicken did not cross the road. This is a complete fabrication. We don't even have a chicken.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH
I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they call it-the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!

ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.

VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to cross before you believe it?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken, please?

COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?
 
I've seen most of these before, but some are new, like the Barbara Walters and Rush Limbaugh ones. Still funny.
 
yeah, i felt like posting it... Dubya's should be a little dumbed down with odd pauses every 3 words or so...
 
ME
I think he just felt like it. Or, it could have been mating season. Or, he was visiting grandpa George. Or, HE JUST WANTED TO GET THE F#@K AWAY FROM YOU D#@N A$$ HOLES!!!!!!!! :aargh:
 
Stalin: I don't care if the chicken crossed the road. I just want it boiled and cooked so I could eat it for lunch
 
I was driving down a road last week when yes - a chicken dashed across in front of me. I slammed the brakes and stopped. Five seconds later, a rooster dashed across after the chicken. So now I know why the chicken crossed the road. To get away from a horny rooster.
 
:lol: @ Col.

There was a thread like this a while ago, it became interesting when we started making up some. Sadly I forget what I posted and am too lazy to search.
 
Mohammed Aldouri should be Mohammed Saiid al-Sahhaf(sp), the Iraqi Info Minister. Everyone knows you can't believe a single word that comes from his mouth, so he would have fit perfectly there.
 
Why did the Blonde cross the road ?
She wanted to see the geese because she heard honking .
 
Mohammed Saiid al-Shahif:
There are no chickens in Bagdad, therefore the chicken could not have crossed road.

Edit:
I am not entirely satisfied with this one....like the general idea of it, but I just cannot seem to find the right touch to it. Anyone want to give it a try?
 
And a few more you've probably heard before...

NEIL ARMSTRONG:
It was one small step for a chicken, but one giant leap for Chickenkind

MACHIAVELLI:
The point is that the chicken crossed the road. Who cares why? The end of crossing the road justifies whatever motive there was.

RALPH WALDO EMERSON:
The chicken did not cross the road. It transcended it.

IAN PAISLEY:
The forces of the Antichrist as manifest in the Chicken of Rome have no place crossing the roads of decent hard-working Protestant people, and we will tolerate this abomination no longer.

LOUIS FARRAKHAN:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

MOSES:
And The Lord came down from the heavens, and He said unto the
chicken, "Thou shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed the
road, and there was much rejoicing.

L.A. POLICE DEPARTMENT:
Give us five minutes alone with the chicken and we'll find out.

HOMER SIMPSON:
Mmmm. Chicken.
 
Hen:
Which chicken? Damn, you just can't keep those men at home...

Bill Gates:
I don't know, but I know I'll make lotsa money from that!

Linus Torvalds:
Why did the penguin cross the road?

Steve Jobs:
It wanted to buy a new MacOS.

Adolf Hitler:
It was all Jews' fault.

Tony Blair:
Who cares?
 
Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road?

Deregulation of the chicken's side of the road was threatening its dominant market position. The chicken was faced with significant challenges to create and develop the competencies required for the newly competitive market. Andersen Consulting, in a partnering relationship with the client, helped the chicken by rethinking its physical distribution strategy and implementation processes.

Using the Poultry Integration Model (PIM) A.C. helped the chicken use its skills, methodologies, knowledge capital and experiences to align the chicken's people, processes and technology in support of its overall strategy within a Program Management framework.

Andersen Consulting convened a diverse cross-spectrum of road analysts and best chickens along with B.C. consultants with deep skills in the transportation industry to engage in a two-day itinerary of meetings in order to leverage their personal knowledge capital, both tacit and explicit, and to enable them to synergize with each other in order to achieve the implicit goals of delivering and successfully architecting and implementing an enterprise-wide value framework across the continuum of poultry cross-median processes.

The meeting was held in a park-like setting, enabling and creating an impactful environment which was strategically based, industry-focused, and built upon a consistent, clear, and unified market message and aligned with the chicken's mission, vision, and core values. This was conducive towards the creation of a total business integration solution.

Andersen Consulting helped the chicken change to become more successful.
Click to expand...
 
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