Shorter This Thread:
GhostSalsa: "This mechanic is making the game less fun for me"
SemperFi2382 and others: "You're wrong! You're having exactly as much fun as you deserve! You did a BAD THING by going to war, and now you have to pay for it."
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Come on, guys. Just because you hear screaming voices when you attack a city doesn't mean that anyone is REALLY getting hurt and dying. You all know that, right?
I see both sides of this.
With the caveat that I am a mid-level, mostly peaceful player, I haven't had much trouble with the warmonger penalty myself. In my last domination game, I had a more troublesome penalty from not moving troops away from borders when asked (that penalty stayed with me the entire game, with every civ!), than I did from the warmonger penalty. The latter did get worse over time, but I kept it in check by mostly only capturing capitals - not wiping out entire civs). And by the time I was down to the last couple of capitals I really didn't care what they thought of me.
I mean, by the time you've taken half the capitals of the world, it's only reasonable expect the other civs to wise up to you and maybe stop selling you their incense or whatever.
I have watched Let's Play videos made by far superior players than myself on much higher levels, and watching them manage the challenge of diplomacy while aggressively attacking neighbors was quite fascinating.
All of that said - it may be more effort and planning than I personally enjoy, and might even be one of the reasons I will never be an Immortal or Deity player (just as I never was in Civ III, for which I even wrote a diplomacy strategy article for this very site). And there are some flaws in the implementation that have already been discussed ad nauseam.
So I understand why the OP gets sick of the penalty. I think having the option to dial it down is a reasonable thing to ask for without being chastised for being a lazy player or an incompetent player or an inflexible player. Civ is a game, and most of us play it just for fun, not in competition with anyone but ourselves. The game gives us a myriad options to play with, and some of them can make the game easier - if you want to, you can pick your most favorable map type, your most favorable civ, your most favorable neighbors. You can turn off victory types that you aren't good at or aren't interested in pursuing. So why get on someone's case for wanting the option to dial back the warmonger penalty?
I get where the OP is coming from. I hope there is a mod out there that tone down the penalty for him/her. I wouldn't play the mod myself, but I understand the complaints about the penalty.