Why would buy a lab-grown engagement ring?

Would you buy a man-made as an engagement ring?

  • Yes

    Votes: 42 65.6%

  • No

    Votes: 6 9.4%

  • I propose with a ring-pop

    Votes: 16 25.0%
  • Total voters
    64
When a woman shows all her friends her flawless 2 carat diamond solitaire engagement ring, she is effectively saying "My future husband just spent over $10K on me. I think he's really committed to marrying me." She isn't saying "I think my future husband just saved $7500 by buying a synthetic diamond instead of a natural one. Isn't he a smart shopper since none of you can tell the difference without a loupe or a microscope?"

But whatever you do, don't lie to her about it. If she wants to deceive her own friends by not explaining it isn't what they think it is, that's her business. Eventually, she may very well find out the truth when she needs to have the crown repaired or have it cleaned.

I think you are a lot better off buying her some other stone, myself. There are many very attractive gems that don't cost nearly as much as diamonds, sapphires, and rubies do.
 
Yeah, is 2-3 months of your salary really worth it for that one moment where your bride to be runs up to her friends and shows off how much her husband spent on her?

I know I won't be marrying anyone who values that moment at $5,000+
 
Formaldehyde said:
When a woman shows all her friends her flawless 2 carat diamond solitaire engagement ring, she is effectively saying "My future husband just spent over $10K on me. I think he's really committed to marrying me." She isn't saying "I think my future husband just saved $7500 by buying a synthetic diamond instead of a natural one. Isn't he a smart shopper since none of you can tell the difference without a loupe or a microscope?"
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My personal feelings on this whole lab-diamond debacle is that I would spent the same amount of money.

"My future husband just spent over $10K on me."

I'm still spending 10K, but I'm getting her 4 times the diamond. This is because I view the diamond as willing to "spend money on her" (it probably sounds different from what I mean), as well as pleasing her personally. So I'd still show to her that I'm willing to put down as much as 10K into her because she means that much to me, but I'd also figure that I can get her 4 times the diamonds at the same price.

Obviously this would all depend on the girl at hand. I'd try to figure out what her feelings are on lab-grown vs. mined diamonds, either subtly or through an "inside man" (like a sister). If she turns out to be cool with lab-grown, I wouldn't shake it off as "oh, then I don't have to spend as much", but instead get 4 times the value.

Or at least this is what I think. I'm still quite a bit far from that point right now, so my views can easily be invalidated by inexperience and time (and money...).

But whatever you do, don't lie to her about it.
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Of course.
 
Defiant47 said:
I'm still spending 10K, but I'm getting her 4 times the diamond. This is because I view the diamond as willing to "spend money on her" (it probably sounds different from what I mean), as well as pleasing her personally. So I'd still show to her that I'm willing to put down as much as 10K into her because she means that much to me, but I'd also figure that I can get her 4 times the diamonds at the same price.
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Anything above 2ct or so is basically absurd for a solitaire engagement ring unless you are Paris Hilton. That is a huge stone and it is already pushing the boundaries of good taste. The bigger it is the more susceptible the mounting is to catch on things and become damaged, or even lose the stone if she isn't careful. It is also going to be rather obvious that it isn't a natural stone unless she is also driving a Bentley.

Defiant47 said:
Obviously this would all depend on the girl at hand. I'd try to figure out what her feelings are on lab-grown vs. mined diamonds, either subtly or through an "inside man" (like a sister). If she turns out to be cool with lab-grown, I wouldn't shake it off as "oh, then I don't have to spend as much", but instead get 4 times the value.
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I think in that case you are better off saving the money for the reasons I mentioned above. I personally think the best policy is to go engagement ring shopping together. Then she will know exactly what it is she is getting, exactly how much it costs, and exactly how it looks on her hand before you make a huge financial commitment.

I would also encourage you to look at other stones or even consider a plain gold band instead of any stone.
 
I'm not knowledgeable in jewelry things at all so excuse me if this sounds stupid, but couldn't you just buy a ring, propose, and then get the stone to be placed in the diamond later with her like you said, but at least have the ring to show? Or does it not work like that.
 
Ulyaoth said:
I'm not knowledgeable in jewelry things at all so excuse me if this sounds stupid, but couldn't you just buy a ring, propose, and then get the stone to be placed in the diamond later with her like you said, but at least have the ring to show? Or does it not work like that.
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No, the mounting, e.g. the actual ring itself, comes in different sizes depending on the size of the stone.

And this raises another good point. Once you buy an engagement ring, the jewelry store typically won't take it back if she says no. They may allow you to return the stone for a full refund if it hasn't been damaged, but you are at least going to be out the price of the mounting which must be custom fitted to the stone. Check with the jewelry store for details on all that prior to buying it!

warpus said:
Dudes, just cause women have been conditioned by DeBeers advertising to expect such an expensive and particular gift during engagement doesn't mean that you all have to go along with it.

Or are ya all whipped? ;)
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Many women are perfectly happy just having a gold band. And I can see where all this synthetic vs natural diamond stuff may make that group grow in size...
 
warpus said:
Dudes, just cause women have been conditioned by DeBeers advertising to expect such an expensive and particular gift during engagement doesn't mean that you all have to go along with it.
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Yes it does.

Do you want a wife?

You can say "well if she won't do without an expensive diamond ring, then she's not worth it", but then get ready for the entire population the be "not worth it".
 
Formaldehyde said:
Anything above 2ct or so is basically absurd for a solitaire engagement ring unless you are Paris Hilton. That is a huge stone and it is already pushing the boundaries of good taste. The bigger it is the more susceptible the mounting is to catch on things and become damaged, or even lose the stone if she isn't careful. It is also going to be rather obvious that it isn't a natural stone unless she is also driving a Bentley.

I think in that case you are better off saving the money for the reasons I mentioned above. I personally think the best policy is to go engagement ring shopping together. Then she will know exactly what it is she is getting, exactly how much it costs, and exactly how it looks on her hand before you make a huge financial commitment.

I would also encourage you to look at other stones or even consider a plain gold band instead of any stone.
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Noted, but I never meant to imply that I'd get a big stone to start with. Maybe make a nice 3- or 5-way pattern. I'd of course not get an unwieldy ring.

Engagement ring shopping is a bit of a pickle, since you want to make a surprise... but may be the most practical way to go.
 
It is rather impractical when you really think about it. These aren't stretch-to-fit rings. It must be modified by a jeweler according to the size of her finger. If you guess too small they usually have to replace the mounting. If you guess too big she can't wear it anyway.
 
Defiant47 said:
Yes it does.

Do you want a wife?

You can say "well if she won't do without an expensive diamond ring, then she's not worth it", but then get ready for the entire population the be "not worth it".
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Out of all the girls I know that I could eventually see myself marrying, none of them are really materialists.

Just cause ads on TV tell you that everyone wants diamonds, that isn't really true.
 
BTW. I was way off on 2 ct diamond prices. A really good round cut is going to cost $50K or so. I failed to adjust the cut, color, and clarity indicators at this website:

http://www.bluenile.com/

It turns out a really good round cut 1 ct diamond now goes for $20K...
 
Formaldehyde said:
It is basic economics. Scarce e.g. rare, objects typically demand a premium given there is an actual demand. And even the remarkable advances which have alowed the production of flawless synthetic diamonds have not eroded the price of natural gem-quality diamonds. Nobody is now hording diamonds. And it now appears that since DeBeers already sold off whatever stockpiles they actually had back in the 80s and early 90s, even that didn't disrupt the wholesale price to any extent. This likely means even they weren't hording them to any large extent, as some people imagined they were.

There are a lot of myths about the diamond industry, most of which are due to DeBeers own highly secretive practices in the past. But now, there is basically an open market. If there are more gem-grade diamonds than the current demand, prices will fall. Otherwise they won't. See the graph I posted earlier to discern for yourself what has actually happened.
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I think demand-side factors contribute more to the price than supply-side factors. The demand is inelastic (and growing), so changes in supply doesn't really change the price by a whole lot, if at all.
 
There are situations where rational decision making and logical analysis will provide the right answer. This is not one of them.

This is where you do whatever makes your soon-to-be wife happy. Get used to doing that gentlemen.
 
MobBoss said:
Correct me if I a wrong here, but I recently bought my wife a strand of pearls (opera length) and it occurs to me the difference in real and synthetic diamonds is roughly the same as between natural and cultured pearls. Cultured pearls are expensive enough, but you cant hardly fathom how expensive a matched set (color & size) of pearls cost.

Except that natural pearls are a lot more rare than diamonds.

But I do agree with most of the comments in the thread about getting something that looks nice at a good price. Nothing wrong with that.
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Cultured pearls are materially different from natural pearls. I appreciate cultured pearls for their uniformity, but there's a lot more difference between natural and "synthetic" pearls than there is between mined and manufactured diamonds. In terms of appearance, individually not so much, but in terms of structure, huge difference.

Defiant47 said:
So then, which is more important? The "social worth" of the diamond in question (how it is perceived) or the money spent on the diamond? Or a combination of both?

You say you don't want a cheap lab diamond.

Suppose that lab-grown diamonds were revered quite a bit in the social scene. They cost a fraction of the natural diamonds, but everyone thinks that there's something special about lab-grown diamonds. If you'd show off a diamond ring and say that the diamond was artificially made (because no-one could tell otherwise just from looking), then everyone would honestly think quite highly of the ring. "Wow, very impressive!" "He's a keeper" etc.

If the social worth were as high as diamonds, would you still have a problem with your husband buying a "cheap lab diamond"?

Or suppose that lab-grown diamonds are viewed the way they are now, but because the artificial creation process isn't quite perfected, they actually end up costing more than regular diamonds.

If the actual cost were as high as diamonds, would you still have a problem with your husband buying a "cheap lab diamond"?
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It's the dollar value.
 
warpus said:
Out of all the girls I know that I could eventually see myself marrying, none of them are really materialists.

Just cause ads on TV tell you that everyone wants diamonds, that isn't really true.
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The problem is that once you fall in love, it doesn't really matter anymore whether she's materialist, non-materialist except when it comes to diamonds, or completely non-materialist. You're in love, and have no other choice of woman, really.

LucyDuke said:
It's the dollar value.
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Defiant47 said:
Actually, thinking about it, I'd rather buy a lab-grown diamond ring for $500, and then mail a $1500 cheque to a random diamond mining company. Same thing, really.

Just tell your significant other that it cost you $2000.
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:)

(I'm being facetious, by the way; thanks for the answer)
 
Defiant47 said:
The problem is that once you fall in love, it doesn't really matter anymore whether she's materialist, non-materialist except when it comes to diamonds, or completely non-materialist. You're in love, and have no other choice of woman, really.
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This is true.. I suppose I'm hoping that the "my kinda woman" factor will prevent me from falling in love with a Paris Hilton-like materlaistic wench / trophy wife kinda gal. So far so good :)
 
warpus said:
This is true.. I suppose I'm hoping that the "my kinda woman" factor will prevent me from falling in love with a Paris Hilton-like materlaistic wench / trophy wife kinda gal. So far so good :)
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It's not quite that extreme. It can just be a subtle flaw or weakness of will that has led her to value diamonds as such. Not necessarily higher than she values you, but enough for her to give a fake smile to you when you offer not-exactly-what-she-dreamed-of-her-whole-life diamond or diamond-substitute. And you don't want that.

Best to just give her what you think is best, and then leave the door open. Tell her you'll get exactly what she wants if she'd rather have something else. We all have to make sacrifices :)
 
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