Jos Ballenbak
Zombiehunter, duh.....
I know exactly what's going on!
Peoples of the Premier League, Please Attend Carefully - Subi and Kan FM11 MP AAR
- Thread starter SuperBeaverInc.
- Start date
serek000
Chieftain
Alright, winter transfer window, yeah? Anyone looking to do any moving and shaking?
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
I'll definitely consider it, what with actually having money and all.
serek000
Chieftain
If I can shamelessly hawk a former Hibs player, Anthony Stokes of Celtic might be a good pickup
Kan' Sharuminar
Fluffy
I'm thinking about buying a new mug for my match-day cup of tea.
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
I doubt you could even afford that
Jos Ballenbak
Zombiehunter, duh.....
+1 for SuperBeaverInc
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
Hardest match of this update is my first one. A visit to Liverpool! Hooray! I'm so looking forward to this. Generally get dominated by the Reds, though my keeper manages to keep prett much everything out. The only exception being when one of my defenders takes down Fernando Torres in the box, and he is awarded a penalty which he scores off of...
But after this defeat, its time to unveil my latest signing. A 19 year old Argentinian defender named Leonel Galeano, signed for £3.9M. Takes up most of my transfer budget, but I'm pretty sure I still have more than Kan.
Up next is a nice break from the Premier League, a FA Cup match against lowly MK Dons. Score a goal early, but they even it back up before the half. Quite nervous now as I know if I don't win this game Kan will never let me forget. But luckily I score the winner with just a few minutes left.
Unfortunately Kan also won his match, so we both make it to the FA Cup 4th round. He draws a match against either Leeds United or Reading, while I get Sheffield United.
Last time I faced Sunderland I scored 3 goals and won the game. This time I also score 3 goals and win. I like playing Sunderland. I need to do it more often.
Now, whats next on the schedule. A trip to Wolverhampton to face Kan and his awful Wolves? Excellent. And best of all, Wolves are so bad that I'm actually the favourite as the visitor! Thats just awful Kan. Look at how my team has done this season. The fac that I'm the favourite should make you ashamed.
Not going to go into as much detail as I did in the last derby as it was a pretty boring game. A 0-0 draw, but I'm still undefeated against Kan, so thats all that matters. Kan will probably try to brag about how his team had most possession time, shots, and shots on goal. But Wolves are so awful that all they did was launch shots whenever they got within 30 feet of the goal. Most of them wound up nowhere near the net, but when you fire as many random shots as they did, a few are bound to end up near the net. I think they only had 1 decent scoring chance the entire game.
And so after 24 games, I sit in 16th, while Kan is 4 points behind me in 17th. And Kan is tied with Aston Villa for 18th. Its too bad Birmingham isn't doing awfully as well, as then all 4 West Midlands teams could be at the bottom of the table.
But after this defeat, its time to unveil my latest signing. A 19 year old Argentinian defender named Leonel Galeano, signed for £3.9M. Takes up most of my transfer budget, but I'm pretty sure I still have more than Kan.
Up next is a nice break from the Premier League, a FA Cup match against lowly MK Dons. Score a goal early, but they even it back up before the half. Quite nervous now as I know if I don't win this game Kan will never let me forget. But luckily I score the winner with just a few minutes left.
Unfortunately Kan also won his match, so we both make it to the FA Cup 4th round. He draws a match against either Leeds United or Reading, while I get Sheffield United.
Last time I faced Sunderland I scored 3 goals and won the game. This time I also score 3 goals and win. I like playing Sunderland. I need to do it more often.
Now, whats next on the schedule. A trip to Wolverhampton to face Kan and his awful Wolves? Excellent. And best of all, Wolves are so bad that I'm actually the favourite as the visitor! Thats just awful Kan. Look at how my team has done this season. The fac that I'm the favourite should make you ashamed.
Not going to go into as much detail as I did in the last derby as it was a pretty boring game. A 0-0 draw, but I'm still undefeated against Kan, so thats all that matters. Kan will probably try to brag about how his team had most possession time, shots, and shots on goal. But Wolves are so awful that all they did was launch shots whenever they got within 30 feet of the goal. Most of them wound up nowhere near the net, but when you fire as many random shots as they did, a few are bound to end up near the net. I think they only had 1 decent scoring chance the entire game.
And so after 24 games, I sit in 16th, while Kan is 4 points behind me in 17th. And Kan is tied with Aston Villa for 18th. Its too bad Birmingham isn't doing awfully as well, as then all 4 West Midlands teams could be at the bottom of the table.
Kan' Sharuminar
Fluffy
It’s the 4th January 2011 and Everton travel to the Molineux Stadium. They’re probably a bit cross with Wolverhampton, seeing as we beat them 1-0 the last time. Still, it’s a home match and everyone seems up for it. Shouldn’t be too hard to get some sort of oh-no-wait-I-forgot-we’re-Wolverhampton.
Still, 70 miles away Firefly has suffered a defeat to Liverpool. Being the sort of sporting chap I am, I decide to give him a phone call to console him.
“Hey Firefly?”
“What is it, Kan?”
“Remember when Wolverhampton travelled to Liverpool and held them to a draw the other month?”
-dial tone-
“Hmm, I suppose he does.”
Next up is Norwich for the FA Cup. Firefly responds to my earlier phonecall with some light-hearted ribbing that Wolves are going to struggle, and I laugh along with him, trying to hide how close I am to breaking down in tears. We’re not exactly performing that well at the moment - Championship team or not, Norwich is going to be a tough game.
Except it isn’t. Not after the first twenty minutes anyway, at which point Stephen Hunt sends in a perfect cross for Pires to get his head to. After that everything goes beautifully, and Wolverhampton get another two goals in while Norwich barely threaten us. This is what the Championship teams are made of? No wonder Wolverhampton got promoted a couple of years back.
And then Newcastle beat us 2-1 and I’m reminded we could be back in the Championship League next season…
Still, if I’m going down then there’s one man I’m can drag down with me! Super ‘ Subi’ BeaverInc GrouchoMarxist Rufus Terrible Firefly. At least that’s what I assume the ‘T’ stands for. Let’s see what he’s been spending that £4 million on. Wolverhampton versus West Bromwich Albion. Round Two.
It quickly becomes apparent, as the West Brom players are forced back into their own half, just what he has been spending the money on - the referee! Thuggery. Clear and blatant thuggery as his “team” of hooligans bring down my brave and stalwart players. Just look at this!
That man is attempting to trip my player! That could have been a metatarsal crisis right there! But it’s worse, as we see what else Firefly has been spending his money on:
MARTIAL-ART LESSONS! With a quick horizontal slice that West Brom thug smashes his hand into the unsuspecting Wolverhampton players stomach. Doctor says he might not be able to eat his half-time oranges ever again!
We soldier on, however, and the team performs admirably. West Brom are rarely allowed near our goal, whereas we are allowed nearly two-dozen shots on their goal. Nearly all are off-target but, hey, we’re Wolverhampton, since when do we shoot straight?
I don’t suppose I could have expected more - we’re still useless in front of goal, but our defence holds. Look at all those fouls by West Brom though! Ignore the 14 we apparently caused - remember that the referee is on Firefly’s payroll.
Still, that one point pulls us out of the relegation pit, but it's a precarious position we're in.
Still, 70 miles away Firefly has suffered a defeat to Liverpool. Being the sort of sporting chap I am, I decide to give him a phone call to console him.
“Hey Firefly?”
“What is it, Kan?”
“Remember when Wolverhampton travelled to Liverpool and held them to a draw the other month?”
-dial tone-
“Hmm, I suppose he does.”
Next up is Norwich for the FA Cup. Firefly responds to my earlier phonecall with some light-hearted ribbing that Wolves are going to struggle, and I laugh along with him, trying to hide how close I am to breaking down in tears. We’re not exactly performing that well at the moment - Championship team or not, Norwich is going to be a tough game.
Except it isn’t. Not after the first twenty minutes anyway, at which point Stephen Hunt sends in a perfect cross for Pires to get his head to. After that everything goes beautifully, and Wolverhampton get another two goals in while Norwich barely threaten us. This is what the Championship teams are made of? No wonder Wolverhampton got promoted a couple of years back.
And then Newcastle beat us 2-1 and I’m reminded we could be back in the Championship League next season…
Still, if I’m going down then there’s one man I’m can drag down with me! Super ‘ Subi’ BeaverInc GrouchoMarxist Rufus Terrible Firefly. At least that’s what I assume the ‘T’ stands for. Let’s see what he’s been spending that £4 million on. Wolverhampton versus West Bromwich Albion. Round Two.
It quickly becomes apparent, as the West Brom players are forced back into their own half, just what he has been spending the money on - the referee! Thuggery. Clear and blatant thuggery as his “team” of hooligans bring down my brave and stalwart players. Just look at this!
That man is attempting to trip my player! That could have been a metatarsal crisis right there! But it’s worse, as we see what else Firefly has been spending his money on:
MARTIAL-ART LESSONS! With a quick horizontal slice that West Brom thug smashes his hand into the unsuspecting Wolverhampton players stomach. Doctor says he might not be able to eat his half-time oranges ever again!
We soldier on, however, and the team performs admirably. West Brom are rarely allowed near our goal, whereas we are allowed nearly two-dozen shots on their goal. Nearly all are off-target but, hey, we’re Wolverhampton, since when do we shoot straight?
I don’t suppose I could have expected more - we’re still useless in front of goal, but our defence holds. Look at all those fouls by West Brom though! Ignore the 14 we apparently caused - remember that the referee is on Firefly’s payroll.
Still, that one point pulls us out of the relegation pit, but it's a precarious position we're in.
SuperBeaverInc.
Groucho
Thats the best you can do Kan? Random conspiracy theories? 
Jos Ballenbak
Zombiehunter, duh.....
Random or not, they are funny and entertaining 
Catharsis
catch u on the flip scythe
"Around Valentine's Day we all make a special effort to impress the one we love... so a 0-0 draw can't have been what Sharuminar and Firefly were hoping for at this most sensual point in the season. Perhaps they can take heart in the fact that, later this evening, when they stare across the Black Country at the lonesome moon, although each may be miles from the other's embrace, they are staring together."
*inappropriate comment*
Kan' Sharuminar
Fluffy
Very nice.
serek000
Chieftain
Good updates
Also, what's up with Fulham sitting that high in the table? It's almost, dare I say, adorable!
Good signing with West Brom's new Center Back, too. He has the feel of someone you can buy for four million quid and sell for twice that a few years down the road, especially since center backs tend to get good later in their careers than midfielders or strikers.
And speaking of Wolves...
Also, what's up with Fulham sitting that high in the table? It's almost, dare I say, adorable!
Good signing with West Brom's new Center Back, too. He has the feel of someone you can buy for four million quid and sell for twice that a few years down the road, especially since center backs tend to get good later in their careers than midfielders or strikers.
And speaking of Wolves...
Spoiler :
ComradeDavo
Formerly God
Not that it will have bearing on this aar, but should be an update for football manager in this coming week
Kan' Sharuminar
Fluffy
Always good to knowSimilar threads
