Do you believe in love at first sight and would you want it to happen to you?

[Rashiminos]

I believe in lust at first sight.

In a world unsullied by alcohol, one man realizes his infatuation has led him to a grim future full of nagging and the pitter patter of child support checks.

***

It might happen in rare circumstances, but I imagine the alternative possibilities lurking around would give more credence to the "I don't want it to happen" side.

 

[Yared]

Often you can tell from body language what type of personality they have, that's what happened with me. I saw this person acted at work the same way I do, and I knew there would be a connection. Although in hindsight, maybe it's best not to date someone so much like myself.

Are you talking about that lady whose ex-husband made her cut you out of her life?

 

[Disgustipated]

Are you talking about that lady whose ex-husband made her cut you out of her life?

actually yes, although we got back together, and then apart, and then together, and then apart, and you get the picture.

The problem with seeing someone similar to yourself is if they share a negative attribute. I can be indecisive about things, but she really was indecisive about what she wanted in life. You can see where that leads to obvious problems.

 

[Yared]

While it might be true that there are negative sides to being with someone who's like you, it also sounds to me like this woman is a little screwed up

 

[Antilogic]

Why is Slobadog necroing so many threads?

I don't object to necroing old threads--sometimes, it's interesting to see how posters have changed. And if the new posts are on-topic, it's doubly fine.

 

[Disgustipated]

I agree, if it's done for non-spam reasons, it's perfectly fine. Although sometimes I get embarrassed reading stuff from many years ago, but I didn't post here many years ago, so I'm not worried about it. I think about how dumb I was in my youth. When I was a teenager, I was even a socialist! You live, and you learn.

 

[Birdjaguar]

Great necro!!

Yes, because it's happened to me!

Where's that on your stinkin' poll.

There was no option for me. I wanted something like "I believe in love at first sight and it has happened to me".

I fell in love with my wife the first time I saw her. She was exceptionally good looking, so yes, I was attracted to her on a physical level, but there was something about the way she talked and the way she acted that fascinated me. I had had other women affect me in serious ways but nothing like the way that my future wife did. The rational me says rejects the idea that you can determine something as serious as "love" at a first meeting; the romantic me wants to accept the idea that it is possible. The Japanese have a word, hitomebore. Loosely, it means "hit by the thunderbolt." That's what happened to me. I got to know her better, asked her out, and one year later we were married. We have been together forty two years.

My story is like 7ronin's with a bit different "courtship".

Spoiler :

THEN said Almitra,
Speak to us of Love. And he raised his head and looked upon the people, and there fell a stillness upon them. And with a great voice he said:
When love beckons to you, follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God’s sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing-floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "1 am in the heart of God."
And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfill itself.
But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love’s ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Spoiler :

Then Almitra spoke again and said, and what of marriage, master?
And he answered saying:
You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore.
You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.
Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God.
But let there be spaces in your togetherness,
And let the winds of heaven dance between you.

Love one another but make not a bond of love:
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls.
Fill each other’s cup but drink not from one cup.
Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf.
Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone,
Even as the strings of the lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.

Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts.
And stand together yet not to near together:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow,
Even as the strings of the lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.
Give your hearts, but not into each other’s keeping.
For only the hand of life can contain your hearts:
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,
And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other’s shadow.

 

[classical_hero]

The reason why you can't have love at first sight, is that is because that is not how love works. I do believe that you can infatuated at first sight, but not love and I will tell you why. Love is not a felling but is based on your actions for another person. Love is not that you are attracted to a person, but what you would rather do for that person. So rather than thinking about how that person makes you feel, you are more interested in making the other person feel better. Infatuation is basically how another person makes you feel, so you are thinking about how to make yourself feel better, rather than thinking about the effect on the other person.

 

[Tee Kay]

I wouldn't mind love at first sight. It'd save a considerable amount of effort.

 

[classical_hero]

I will say love is like gardening, if you don't put much effort into it, you won't get anything back.

 

[warpus]

Love at first grope

 

[Ayatollah So]

There was no option for me. I wanted somthing like "I believe in love at first sight and it has happened to me".

That's compatible with the first option. The options are great!

Depends how you define love. You can have a transcendental experience in a moment but mature love takes time.

This, and Winston Hughes's post, for the win. I think when most people say "love at first sight" they mean the transcendental experience.

I believe in love at first sight because love at first hearing once happened to me. I was in a crowded classroom with a large student (large in height, muscle, and fat) in the middle. These amazing comments started coming from a girl behind him. I swear I am not creative enough to make this stuff up. Anyway ... it didn't end up well. Voted "it happens, but I'd rather not have it happen to me." My relationship with my wife was a slow growth of love - much better results.

Why is Slobadog necroing so many threads?

Necromancy is the best kind of romancy!

 

[Ice_Tyrant]

I lust at first sight everywhere I go. I agree with the guy that said it's just in hindsight. There probably a lot of other first sights that folks thought were love but were not.

 

[dido]

I do believe in it...provided that I am allowed to define the words "love" and "sight" VERY liberally

 

[Slobadog]

I just define love by the same wide variety of definitions I see culture around me use. I can't help but but confuse you all. But were not actually in much disagreement.


The type of love I was refeering too was "Love having a person based mostly on chemicals." A short term intense feeling of longing. A blinding irrational feeling. A superficial feeling yes but unlike crushs (Or how I define crushs) this feeling involves unusual chemicals that are not activted during a crush.


I was not refering to a type of love that involves a intellectual based appreciation of a person. I was not refering to a type of love that involves feelings that promote a stable long term relationship. I was not refering to feelings that emerge as a result of work put into a relationship.



I'm not trying to connect love at first sight with the right kind of love but rather the wrong kind. I could call this wrong feeling lust whatever. I called it love because love is often defined as merely wanting and well so is lust.



When I argued that love at first sight is real I was trying to deglorify the concept not glorify it. But art seems to have already give people like me a bad image. It makes it seem as if I'm arguing for some fantasy. Yes indeed but I'm not