Random thoughts 1: Just Sayin'

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I doubt it will ever happen, but if anyone insists that I call them by some prefix, I won't, unless it's a part of their given name.

I go out of my way to call someone a Dr. if they are one, in an email in a professional setting for instance, but if you're self-absorbed enough to correct people and insist on them using the "proper" title, then I will not use it.
It depends on the circumstances, whether or not I'm going to insist on formality. I remember a time when some obnoxious bylaw officer came to talk to my dad because a neighbor had complained about something. Both of them were angry, getting angrier, the bylaw officer was getting more and more obnoxious, and finally I told him to "address my father correctly."

The jerk said, "Well, isn't ____ (short form of my dad's first name) his name? Should I call him something else, like ____ (different short form of my dad's first name)?"

I told him, "You may call him Mr. _____ (our last name)."

So then the jerk started calling me "Mrs. _____ (our last name)." He didn't seem to understand how inappropriate it was until I said, "I've told you this is my father. Do you think I am married to my own father?"

He then got frustrated and said he didn't know what my last name was. I told him to call me "Miss _____ (our last name)."

That whole mess could have been avoided if he'd used proper courtesy in the first place. First names are never appropriate between civil servants/clients or employees/customers unless they already know each other or permission is given. I don't often push this, but will if they don't use ordinary courtesy.
 
I avoid referring to anyone by name if they are insistent on being referred to by a title or a very, very, very specific name. I also don't call people 'sir' or 'ma'am'.

I went through my entire childhood without ever once saying the name or title of a friend's parents. The only time I use a doctor's name and title is at the front desk of the clinic/department, and even then I usually go for full name instead of "Dr. ____".

It's completely petty.
 
I avoid referring to anyone by name if they are insistent on being referred to by a title or a very, very, very specific name. I also don't call people 'sir' or 'ma'am'.

I went through my entire childhood without ever once saying the name or title of a friend's parents. The only time I use a doctor's name and title is at the front desk of the clinic/department, and even then I usually go for full name instead of "Dr. ____".

It's completely petty.
Yeah, it does seem a bit petty. Why not call your friend's parents either "Mr." or "Mrs." (last name)?

I grew up being taught that kids should never call an adult by their first name. The one exception I made was my youngest aunt, because our ages differ by only 7 or 8 years, and she made her own preferences plain: "If she ever calls me "Auntie", I'll biff her."

So it was really awkward during the 2 years-plus-weekends-of-a-third-year that I had to spend with my dad and his girlfriend at her house. Calling her "Mrs. _____" was too formal, but I wasn't willing to call her by her first name. I avoided calling her anything at all, and she really didn't like that.

Well, tough. She tried her damnedest to prevent me from seeing my own grandparents, and acted as though it was her say over whether or not I would get to go on holidays to visit the family in BC.

It wasn't until I was 16 and started working in the theatre that I started getting away from this no-first-names thing, since everyone in the theatre was on a first-names basis (well, other than the child actors; they still used "Mr." and "Mrs." to the older people; I didn't insist on it, though).
 
Yeah, it does seem a bit petty. Why not call your friend's parents either "Mr." or "Mrs." (last name)?

The assumed authority. In my mind, not acknowledging their 'title' or superiority meant it didn't truly impact me.

Which isn't actually true. But hey, I was a kid. :p

I typically don't refer to people by name IRL directly unless we're on a first name basis. My middle school principal was just that, my principal, until I grew up and then she became Jan. In indirect conversation where I'm talking about someone to someone else I'd use the full name or the title (for clarity), but on a personal level I avoid names and titles until they are comfortable with being referred to by their first name.
 
None of my school teachers were ever on a first-name basis. There were a few in college who preferred first names, or at least said it was okay to call them by their first names.

Not that it matters that much anymore. Most of the teachers I had in school are now either retired senior citizens or they're dead. The last time I ran across any of them were when the tech librarian at my high school turned up on the local Freecycle group. I ended up getting a small CD cabinet from him.

And out of the blue a few years ago my high school French teacher called... just to talk. That was one of the weirdest phone calls, since we've never just chatted unless we met in person, by accident. That's how we originally renewed our acquaintance - ran into each other at the grocery store, he asked what I was doing now (then), I told him about the home typing business, and he asked for my number. I ended up typing some legal papers for him and for another retired teacher (hey, my rates were considerably cheaper than they'd have to spend at a lawyer's office!).
 
The NDP is reversing the Liberals' decision to make remedial adult education cost money. I think that's good because it doesn't make sense that once you're no longer a teenager you also no longer have access to basic education. Making someone pay tuition to upgrade their highschool GPA or finish some credits just to get into community college is dumb, especially when most loans can't be applied to it.

I'm considering taking advantage of this but I don't really know if I can or have the courage to. I dropped out of high school midway through in a rural curriculum so I never did anything beyond basic algebra and vague science courses. I'm someone who participated in math competitions from the University of Waterloo when I was 12. These days I can't do basic math problems that only entail some dividing and multiplication. My understanding of basic scientific concepts is also lacking because I never had biology, chemistry, or any other related science course. My health put a serious damper on my intelligence and as time goes by I can feel it continue to slip away, and at this point I am somewhat desperate to stop it or recover some of it. No doubt the loss of knowledge is also tied to memory loss and isolation. Maybe going back to school would help. I don't know. I'm not excited about the idea of needing to start from the beginning, but I'm also not excited about avoiding simple problems because I know that my mind will stall and fail.

Putting this here because it is both a rave and a rant, combining into more of just a thought. :p
Adult education is never a bad thing. That's how I took my accounting course (at the local high school) and computers (at the local college).

Grade 10 chemistry is pretty easy, especially if you already know the metric system. Grade 10 biology... dunno about that. We had to do dissections, and back in the late '70s it wasn't possible to opt out of those assignments for reasons of conscience. It's been nearly 40 years, and I still feel guilty about that earthworm and frog I had to cut open. Thankfully there were no dissections in Grade 11, and in Grade 12 I opted to do a term paper rather than dissecting anything.

My best advice would be to talk to a counselor or advisor (whatever they're called these days) and tell them what you're interested in and what limitations you might have. Depending on the class, there might be some additional help available, such as tutoring or lab assistance if you opt to try chemistry and are concerned about physical safety - some stuff you absolutely do not want to risk spilling or breaking.

It's nice that the provincial government there is willing to give adult students a break. It would be nice if they'd do that here, as I've sometimes been curious about maybe trying at least Grade 10 physics. It's something that interests me, but the math and formulas kept getting messed up in a pretzel knot in my head in junior high science, so I never even considered it in high school.

The computer class at the college turned out to be a hoot. Turns out that one of my classmates was my psychology instructor from the previous year. During the break, he came over and said, "You look familiar" and I told him, "That's because I sat in the front row of your introductory psychology class for eight months last year."

So he asked how well I understood the stuff we were doing in the computer class and I told him I was doing okay so far, and he said, "Oh, good - then you can help me." And yeah, there were a few times when he'd wave frantically and call for help. The instructor encouraged us to help each other, since she couldn't be everywhere at once.

I had a dream this morning that I woke up to 17 pms on CFC

Depending on how active certain elements are, that's par for the course for OT moderators here. Or at least it was on a few occasions during my time on staff.

I wonder how many of us have had dreams that feature CFC.
The closest I ever came to that was dreaming that I was trapped inside a game of Test of Time, in the Lalande scenario. The aliens are much scarier when you're trying to dodge them in person, and their weapons could really kill you (or so my dream-self perceived).

It's also not really kosher to talk about people (past or present) who are not part of the discussion at hand.
If it's in a non-derogatory way and non-stalkerish, I don't see the problem. It would be a shame if we couldn't mention old or ex-members in passing. At the very least it shouldn't be forbidden to say something like "I miss _______".

'Cause there are some people I miss. :(


An opt-in list would be nice to have. At least this one would be updated, since some of the people who were part of the social group have left the forum.
 
It's nice that the provincial government there is willing to give adult students a break. It would be nice if they'd do that here, as I've sometimes been curious about maybe trying at least Grade 10 physics. It's something that interests me, but the math and formulas kept getting messed up in a pretzel knot in my head in junior high science, so I never even considered it in high school.

AFAIK it was always free in BC and then was slashed recently by the Liberals shortly before the election season. Each class cost over $500 in tuition, per person! With the NDP's reversal, it's now a reasonable $20 textbook fee for each class. Five classes has gone from over $2500 to just $100. That's definitely far more affordable to someone who didn't get to finish their education.

I looked into it last night when I couldn't sleep. I'd need to meet with an advisor at one of the local schools and talk to them about it. Online resources seem scarce on what classes you can take. The closest school to me is close enough to be walked to even with my health and their semester options include 5 days a week or 1 day a week. The 1-day-per-week semester option seems ideal and something that I could swing. I suppose now it's getting enough courage to make the leap and deciding if I'm ready to tackle it now. I might wait until the next fall semester when my disability application will be underway and maybe I'll be in slightly better shape.

An opt-in list would be nice to have. At least this one would be updated, since some of the people who were part of the social group have left the forum.

I'll bring it up in the staff section. Seems like it might have some merit since thus far we've been operating off of memory of who was in the group instead of any definitive list.
 
Moderator Action: I accidentally messed up while merging two threads and merged the wrong ones. Please hold while I get someone to clean up my mess.
 
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