1000 ways you know you've played Civ2 too much when...

[Specialist290]

Re 1368: Amen. I think we all go through that...

Anyway...

1370. You think that all farmland looks like patches of green, gold, and salmon pink when viewed from the air.

1371. You think that all RR's are ramrod-straight.

1372. You read about Roman Legions being defeated by Barbarian Horsemen in a history book and wonder how that could have happened.

1373. You also wonder how the Barbarians destroyed the Roman Empire, since usually they have crappy combat skills.

1374. You are shocked to find out that Cannons and Artillery are the same thing.

1375. You become even more confused when you hear that the main armament of Armor is called a Cannon.

1376. You wonder why, out of all the nations of the world, only Libya has a solid-colored flag.

1377. You wonder whether the US has started researching Future Techs yet.

1378. You reason that the only thing keeping the US from launching a Spaceship is because they want to max out all the cities and get a good Civ Score.

1379. You wonder whether it is possible to write one more unique reason after this.

1380. ...But you decide that it is, since your creativity is a long way from being burned out.

1381. You think that cities without Supermarkets are starving.

1382. You wonder how it is possible for cities to get so huge without Aqueducts.

1383. ...And quickly conclude that the world is playing with Cheat Mode activated.

1384. You have added 30 different civs to the RULES.TXT and their cities to the CITY.TXT.

1385. ...And yet you can still remember what the original 21 civs are.

1386. You take everything you learned about Gandhi in school and throw it out the window when he nukes you.

1387. You ask yourself, "If we've made it 6000 years already, why are there still more than 2 civs around?"

1388. You believe that all the military really needs are Stealth Fighters and Howitzers.

1389. You go to Iraq and are surprised to see so few RR's.

1390. You wonder how all those cities in the Andes get any food.

1391. You wonder how Lincoln could have been assassinated--aren't Civ leaders immortal?

1392. You wonder why the US only has 4 wonders (Hoover Dam, SETI, Statue of Liberty, and Apollo).

1393. You wonder why Europe hasn't been conquered by one nation yet.

1394. You also wonder how so many attempts to do so have failed.

1395. You wonder why France, with it's better-than-average diplomatic reputation, needs the Eiffel Tower.

1396. You think the Great Wall of China is entirely contained in one city.

1397. You wonder whether Bush already had the troops in position or was using a ship chain to transport 'em when he invaded Iraq, since it is technically impossible to move a Transport that far in one turn.

1398. You can still come up with unique reasons even after 1397 of them.

1399. You wonder if gas prices are so high because the Arabs are rehoming their caravans to a more distant city than the one they used to use.

1400. You enjoy breaking other people's records, especially those involving Civ2.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

1401) You congratulate Specialist290 for being someone other than The Person for posting a '00 post.

1402) Everyone on Earth dies of a mysterious plague, but you survive because you have never left your room because you are too busy playing civ2.

1403) You realize that you are the only one left on the planet, and get very lonely, because there is no one else to play civ2 with you.

1404) You manage to never die for millions of years, and finally, a femaly Neanderthal approaches you.

1405) You immedieatly teach the Neanderthal woman all you have learned, including civ2.

1406) You mate with her (Ohh la la!), and begin a new civilization. You name it the Plutonian Empire.

1407) After 2000 years, you have fufilled all of your Plutonian Empire wishes: You colonize and terraform Mars and Pluto, colonize the rest of the Solar System, create a new star named Pisces Centauri 2 light years from Sol, inhabit 2 earthlike worlds, Belle Terre and Belle Hades, conquer the galaxy, then the universe.

1408) Your Plutonian Empire lives for the rest of eternity, to the death of this universe, and beyond.

1409) After a dark period, the death of the universe, string theory takes place and a new universe is born.

1410) You manage to keep Earth, Earth's moon, Pluto, and Pluto's moon as the old universe dies, because of ideas you devoloped while playing civ2.

1411) You are surprised when you finally meet the infamous Nibiruans, because they don't exist in civ2.

1412) Your Empire barely survives a devastating war with the Evil Nibiruan Empire.

1413) You edit the rules.txt in civ2 so that they do exist in civ2, as the Mongols replaced (Aggressive Militaristic Expansionist).

1414) You win the war with the Nibiruan Empire, and you meet Amoebic Space Patrol guys, and they aid your Empire in the next step in physical evolution: becoming true Gods.

1415) You manage to get both 1313 and 1414.

 

[Paasky]

1416: You know how to play the embassy intro with some instrument (preferably a trumpet).

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

1417) You finally run out of ideas for this thread.

 

[jadelicia]

1418) You are currently devastated by the lack of Civ due to final exams and are experiencing withdrawal symptoms.

1419) You are mortified by the fact that you missed the posting of the 1000th idea.

1420) In response, you are determined to post the 2000th, no matter what it takes.

1421) You are slightly consoled by the fact that you have the second highest number of posts in this thread (awarded by Spec.)

1422) You don't believe that animals other than the ones shown in the Civ resources (such as buffulo, whale, etc.) exist...

1423) ...You still don't believe that any other animals exist when your family brings you to a zoo...

1424) ...You think you are having hullicinations...

1425) ... and that the only cure is to play more civ.

1426) Re: #1415 - You notice that you have written down an idea for 1313 and 1414.

1427) Re: #1207 – You tried to grab the city window in the picture the Plutoniam and move it to see the map.

1428) Re: #1156 – You decide to take #1985 for the same reason as Plutonian wants to take 1984.

1429) You hope that these meager ideas have boosted your esteem and reputation among the other civ addicts.

 

[Archer 007]

1430) "One more turn" ends up causing you to have bladder problems.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

Response to 1427: Just so you know, the map is the regular world map that came with the civ2 cd.

1431) You wonder if jadelicia will accidentally get 1984 at the exact same nanosecond you accidentally post 1985.

1432) You wonder if you will find "The One" while posting on this thread (I know I may have said this before, but I just couldn't resist).

 

[Specialist290]

1433. You beat everyone else in having the most reasons by a margin of around 100... ( )

1434. You can remember every time you have used a nuke...

1435. ...Despite the fact you have done so several times.

1436. You wonder how confusing it will be with 3 people racing for #2000 instead of just 2.

1437. You don't eat anything but wheat.

1438. You go to a medieval museum and think about what a waste it is that so many shields are lying around unused.

1439. You create a modpack with your own wonders, including your own wonder movies.

1440. You make a movie out of one of your games.

1441. You draw inspiration from the tales of the Viking Scribes over at 'Poly.

1442. You pay your electric bill just so you can keep playing Civ2.

1443. ...And while you never use any other appliances, your electric bill is higher than the combined rest of the neighborhood's.

1444. Therefore, you find yourself going into debt.

1445. You wonder if you could get yourself out of debt by writing and publishing a book of your Civ2 experiences.

1446. ...But you are too busy playing Civ2 to start.

1447. When collection agents come to pick up the money you owe them, you manage to hook them on Civ2 and get them off of your back.

1448. You try the same on the director of the electric company to see if you can get out of paying your bills.

1449. ...And it works.

1450. However, because the director is hooked on Civ2, no more power is produced, throwing an entire city into disorder over the lack of Power.

1451. This, in turn, causes the nearby Nuclear Plant to melt down, killing off half of the city's population.

1452. Fortunately, you're not in that city, and you are still able to play Civ2.

1453. You "own" around 1/5th of this thread.

(I still got it! )

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

Response to 1440: I actually have plans to do that!

1454) (RE: 1439) You wonder how you can make your own wonder movies.

 

[Specialist290]

Re 1454: I don't have the slightest clue...
Which means you'd have to play this a lot to want to do it.

1455. You do things that you don't have the slightest idea about how to do them.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

1456) You realize that you are blah reasons away from 1984.

1457) You start to get bored posting things on this thread...

1458)...but you can't stop because you are addicted, just as you are addicted to civ2.

1459) You have been playing civ2 for 5-6 years now and wonder why you still have not had a dream which takes place in the game.

1460) You think that the Egyptian Emissary is sexier than any woman in the universe.

 

[Prof. Garfield]

1461:You wonder what record Specialist 290 beat.
1462:You believe in reincarnation.
1463:You convert to a religion that advocated reincarnation.
1464:You believe that President Lincoln isn't realy dead because he has been ruling the Americans ever since the Greeks destroyed the Persians in 1750 B.C....
1465:...so you conclude that he poseses all the presidants when they come into office.
1466:You send the President a kit to ward Lincoln off if they care to use it, and somehow the whole of congress votes in favour of demanding that your country put you in an asylum.
1467:You drive the asylum workers mad.
1468:You believe that oil wells never run dry.
1469:You believe that gold mines never run out.
1470:You believe that gold coins are colected as taxes.
1471:You believe that Iron mines never run out.
1472:You believe that it takes no special equipment to make a nuclear missile.
1473:You believe that it doesn't even take uranium to make a nuke.
1474:You believe that nuclear power plants don't need uranium.
1475:You believe that nuclear power plants will automaticaly convert to fusion plants once fusion power is discovered.
1476:You believe that it doesn't take any uranium to power nuclear ships.
1477:You believe that all ships immedialely converted to nuclear powered once a nation discovered nuclear power.
1478:You believe that subs can launch cruise missiles.
1479:You believe that a city doesn't need an airport in order to land an airplain.
1480:You believe that a city doesn't need an airport in order to use a paratrooper devision from that city.
1481:You believe that all paratroopers land on target.
1481:You believe that the Eiffel Tower would not have been torn down even if the radio had not come along.
1482:You wonder how the Statue Of Liberty could have been move to America from France...
1483:...and come up with the conclusion that since wonders of the world cannot be moved, it was transported by freights in a ship...
1484:...or that France gifted the money for the rush completion to the Statue to the Americans.
1485:You point out that The Person will soon be able to revise his List.
1486:You wonder how many of your reasons will be on it.
1487:You wonder how many of Prof. Garfield's reasons will be on it.
1488:You wonder why after the nuking of Hiroshima and Nagasaki we didn't suffer golbal warming...
1489:...because two nukes would create enough pollution to induce global warming...
1490:...because there were no solar plants in the world.
1491:You come to the conclusion that WWII was unrealistic.
1492:In the year that bears this number Columbus rediscovered America.
1493:The Person will not have to wait long before revising his List.
1494:You cannot understand the problem with plowing down the rainforest.
1495:You notice that all the writing on the site is very informall...
1496:...because there are all sorts of 'you's in it.
1497:You don't care.
1498:You will post over 40 reasons in this post.
1499:You strech your reasons this far.
1500:The Person can now revise his list.
1501:I thought that when I submitted the post The Person would be finnished his revision.

 

[Prof. Garfield]

1502:You post this to make sure you didn't miscount your number of posts.
1503:You are annoyed that 1501 didn't come true.

 

[jadelicia]

1504) Even though some reasons have been posted several times, you still laugh at them...

1505)...because you know they're true!

1506) The only music composer you actually believe in is Bach (because of the Cathedral) and Beethoven (because of Ode to Joy).

1507) You figure the rest of the composers are myths.

1508) You figure Holland is a myth since everyone knows that it is impossible to reclaim land unless....

1509) You figure that Holland changed the game files for its purposes...

1510) ...As did other nations in the building of the Suez Canal...

1511) ...and the building of the Panama Canal...

1512)...because everyone knows you can't create or take away ocean squares without changing the game files.

1513) In the deep subconcious recesses of your mind, a thought occurs that some of these reasons are completely ridiculous....

1514) ...but you completely blot that thought out since they apply to you and you can't be ridiculous, can you?

1515) You notice that, although Plutonian got 1313 and 1414, you got 1515.

1516) You notice that you have developed tunnel vision...

1517) ...You only see the computer in front of you and nothing around it.

1518) You think that sports are a myth because you never play them and they don't exist in Civ.

1519) Your mouse has been worn down into a mold of your hand.

1520) Your keyboard keys have dents on keys such as "r", "p", "e", "i", etc.

1521) The other keys are virtually unused.

1522) There are a few concepts that make sense to you...

1523) ...however, when your family tells you "you've been playing to much Civ II", you just don't understand what on earth they could be talking about.

 

[jadelicia]

1524) When your Civ II CD broke, and the store saw you coming, and they realized they were out of stock (because of you), they shut their doors, locked them and ran away...

1525) ...because they remember what happened last time they didn't have a Civ II CD when you "needed" it.

 

[Stegyre]

1504) 1518) You think that sports are a myth because you never play them and they don't exist in Civ.

Sure they do! I think the manual even provides some explanation in this regard: once you acquire electronics, all colloseums produce 4 content citizens instead of 3, to represent the presence of television (i.e., broadcasting what is going on in those colloseums).

That being said, I'll offer my own:

1526) You do not believe in soccer riots, because everyone knows that colloseums make citizens content, not angry.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

1527) You get jealous when you didn't get 1515, but realize it was because you were too competitive (ohh, goody, I said compeTITive )

1528) You start making sex jokes on this thread, but realize you have already done it in previous posts

1529) You think that one of the members of this forum is a clone of the Egyptian emissary, but are dismayed when it's an old fat man with a video camera.

1530) You get lonely, because people hardly ever reply to threads YOU have posted.

1531) You are overjoyed to get this number cause that is the year that you used nuclear missiles (on civ2) for the very first time in a particular game.

1532) You are at a halloween party, and start salivating heavily because you see someone who looked EXACTLY like the Egyptian emissary, except that her [insert body part(s) here] are bigger.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

1533) The only girls you are attracted to are the emissaries in civ2.

1534) You are sent to a mental facility because of it.

1535) You are on a date with your girlfriend when you yell out, "DAMNED EGYPTIANS!" and are stoned to death because you were in Cairo at the time.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

1536) You keep talking about the egyptian emissary in this thread.

 

[Specialist290]

OOC: I didn't break any records; I was just overjoyed I could still post 20 reasons at once if I wanted to.

1537. You are overjoyed that you can still post 20 reasons at a time when you want to.

1538. You have the most posts in this thread...

1539. ...As well as the most reasons.