1000 ways you know you've played Civ2 too much when...

[Prof. Garfield]

581: Your mother/wife has said:"You play Civilization 2 too much!"
582: In an effert to improve your physique, you attach a generator to your monitor, and must peddal in order to the monitor on.
583: Not one of these signs aply to you.
584: Your family disagrees to the asertion above.
585: You experiance severe headaches when you don't play civ 2 more than you played it the day before.
586: You are forced to spend time outside, but were not told what to do, so you get an old computer, and install civ on that.
587: You hide the comp. in the tool shed.
588: You play civ in the tool shed, after running an extension cord to the house.
589: You hire someone to do the yardwork so your mother/wife won't think that you are playing civ.
590: You do some yardwork yourself to be able to say that you did some yardwork when you were out.
591: You hope there is civ 2 in heaven.
592: You would rather keep playing civ 2 than go to heaven if heaven doesn't have civ 2.
593: You find a way to become parelized from the waist down to be able to play more civ 2.
594: You can keep coming up with Ideas for this thread.
595: You think life should be more realistic.
596: Your fingers must be pried from the keyboard.
597: You have a comp. in your bathroom.
598: You can explain everything about civ to a freind that has never seen a comuter.
599: You can play like the comp. if you want to.
600: You are extatic that you posted the 600th reason.
601: You begin to think that the comp has a beter method of play than humans.
602: You have this tread in your favorits section.
603: You have built a wall around your house.
604: Your accomplice is about to rob a house, and askes you what to steal.
605: You think: "If he steals anything, he will have a high chanse of success."
606: You then think: "If he steals the TV, I will get more out of the deal, but he will have a lower chance of success."
607: You think after that: "If he breakes into the master bedroom, it will be more profitable, but very risky."
608: After that you think: "If he steals the burgler alarm, he will have a very high chance of capture, but the house will be weaker."
609: You think: "No wonder the Canadian Shield has many minerals; it's a giant shield."
610: You hold the record for the most reasons in a single post again.
611: You suspect that you won't hold the record forever.

 

[The Person]

612 - You've never had a weekend off with your family since you started playing Civ2.

613 - You don't have the time to beat Prof. Garfield's record since you get completely paranoid and claustrophobic if you haven't played Civ2 for more than about half a minute.

614 - You wonder who all these weirdos who make up all this sh*t about you are, and want to give them a fair beating.

615 - But you don't succeed, since you only know how to use your arms on a keyboard...

616 - ...and suddenly realize that they must have been watching you.

617 - You worship Sid Meier as a god.

618 - But Civ2 takes up so much of your time that you don't have time to worship him.

619 - And you try to make your best out of every game in fear of Him sending an endless stream of Barbarians after you.

620 - You don't dare post in any forums except the Civ2 forums in fear of Him sending an endless stream of Barbarians after you.

621 - You've ruined more than three marriages by your Civ2 addiction.

622 - And don't remember the faces of any of your former spouses.

623 - You begin thinking about marrying an AI civ leader.

624 - You really do it.

625 - You've given up smoking since you don't have time to go down to the store buying cigarettes.

 

[Boli]

626 - The letters: I, M, R, W, S and F have all worn off your keyboard.

 

[Specialist290]

627. Your posterior has surgically attached itself to the chair, thus rendering you unable to leave your seat and stop playing.

628. ...Or at least that's the excuse you use when your parents walk into the room where your computer is at 6 AM and find that you've been playing it since they told you to go to bed last night.

629. You hold a Civ2 tourney in your neighborhood and quickly put all your neighbors to shame.

630. When on a long car trip without access to your computer, you play an entire Civ2 game inside your mind, from start to finish.

631. You lose the aforementioned game and can name exactly why.

632. Undaunted, you decide to imagine the next several turns on the save you're working on.

633. Strangely, when you turn on your computer and reaccess that save, everything you imagined has happened on the save file during your absence.

634. You use this new talent to play Civ2 away from your computer.

635. You use this new talent to play Civ2 on somebody else's computer.

636. You don't have this talent, but you still play Civ2 on someone else's computer.

637. You've divided your schedule as follows:

1 hr. Sleep
1 hr. Eat
20 hrs. Civ2
2 hrs. CFC

638. You wonder if Prof. Garfield is making so many reasons because I forgot to acknowledge him in reason #489.

639. An earthquake rips through your town, killing everybody you know and love; enormous meteors are threatening to destroy the earth; the icecaps are melting, which would mean total destruction to your seaside home; and the President has just declared war on you and is throwing the entire US military at you with its sole objective being your annihilation; but... you just upgraded from Classic to MGE, and are therefore the happiest man alive.

640. You are a mild-mannered person who never retaliates when somebody mugs you on the street, yet you swear up a blue streak whenever the AI sneak attacks you and captures one of your cities.

641. You look suspiciously at any ladies you see dressed up in fancy clothes, or any men wearing black suits and top hats.

642. You go to the circus, see the elephants, and immediately think: "I wonder why they haven't discovered Monotheism yet."

643. When at sea, if the boat's small and slow, you're afraid to leave sight of land when you board.

644. You've memorized this list like the Bible and can recite, on call, any reason already listed (such as 58, 318, and, let us say, 290...)

 

[Spiralsun1]

You know you have played WAY WAY too much when your hair color when you started playing was brown, and now it has grey in it!

 

[jadelicia]

(The last person never nubmered his/her's, so I skipped ahead by one

646) You are worried about the fact that you haven't put up anything new lately on this thread....

647) ...you wonder if you might be getting your priorities mixed up.

648) "Acting civilized" just doesn't mean the same thing to you as it does to other people.

 

[jadelicia]

649) You are overjoyed when you realize that through the post before, you just had officially 100 posts on this forum!

 

[Specialist290]

650. Your parents threaten to kick you out of the house for playing too much Civ2.

651. However, you figure that since you are a CivFanatic, and since fanatics require no support in a Fundamentalist goernment, you reason that if they ever did that, you would move to Iran.

652. You break up Civaholics Anonymous meetings by saying, "My name is (insert name here), I'm addicted to Civ, and I'M PROUD OF IT!!!"

653. You write a song about Civ2 called "Get Civilized."

654. You write a book of "Civ Stories" entitled Memoirs of a World Leader--50 Times Over.

655. You go to an orchestra and, during "request hour," ask them to play "Tenochtitlan" or "Augustus Rising."

Originally Posted By Achniz
499. You go to Pizza Hut hoping to tip it for 100 gold or at least a scroll.

656. Unfortunately, the instant you enter, you are lynched by a mob of red-shirted restaurant patrons.

657. You fend off their attacks, then run out screaming, "Barbarians!"

658. Instead of paying ripoff prices at a jewelry store, you fly to Central Africa to find her an anniversary present.

659. When you go to a CFC convention, you expect everyone to look like their avatar in real life, particularly if they're a Civ2 unit.

660. Whenever a barbarian unit messes up your perfect irrigation pattern, you screw up your eyes like Red Skelton.

661. You have ferns planted behind your chair in an effort to make your computer room more like the throne room.

662. You wake up on the wrong side of the bed one morning and, when at work, call everyone that ticks you off an AI.

EDIT: 663. You recognize the significance of The Person's last post.

I'll leave the honor of the next 3 reasons to someone else, for obvious reasons...

 

[covok48]

664. You learn to hunt specifically to bag the bear/tiger/lion whose carcas would make a great rug in your thorone room.

665. Your idea of studying is 15 minutes of work followed by 30 minutes of civ two for 5 hours or so.

666. You don't believe that 666 has anything to do with Devil worship because he is not mentioned in Civ II.

 

[scloopy]

664. You try to play Civ II with your 6 months old Grandson in your lap.

665. You try to convince your Daughter-in-law that he will be great at history as a result of playing Civ II.

 

[jadelicia]

669) You're are totally freaking out when someone messes up the numbering on this thread....it bothers you so much that you've tried pressing their edit button several times to try to fix it.

670) You're wondering if you could get a spy to break in and fix the numbering.

(By the way 661 was great!)

 

[scloopy]

671. You wonder when you lost the ability to add.

672. You begin to wish you had spent more time building universities or maybe it should have been grade schools.

 

[jadelicia]

673) You are so exhausted from lack of sleep (because of playing civ of course) that you actually fall asleep at the computer...

674) ...Never mind sleep walking, you play civ. in your sleep...

675) ....you wake up to find you have won your game with the highest score ever.

 

[jadelicia]

676) You wonder why there aren't more mines in the mountains and hills (if you have mountains or hills) near your town/city.

677) You decide that the town/city near those hills needs a new advisor, after all, think of all those shields they're missing out on!

678) You apply for the job and bring in a saved game of your finished game with all its cities' nearby squares properly mined, irrigated, and containg roads.

679) When you're not hired, you think how stupid they are and you wonder if the AI is not secretly running the city/town.

680) You've found that you don't need coffee to keep you awake. Civilization seems to have a much greater affect than coffee on keeping you awake.

681) You can't figure out why there isn't more World Wonders in the cities located on or near the Canadian Shield. After all, those cities ought to have the highest shield production in Canada.

682) You dream up ideas for this thread in your sleep.

683) You can't figure out how a single army can attack more than once in a year, but you're sure that your social teacher mentioned numerous attacks by the same army in WWI and WWII all in one year.

684) You can't figure out how ships, planes, or land units move at the same time when they're from diff. countries. Who's turn is it anyways?

 

[The Person]

685 - (In addition to my Civ2 OS post.) You try to convince everybody else that it is the best OS.

686 - You think that a great leader like you should get more attention, especially since you've been it so many times.

687 - And you don't understand why people begin looking funny at you when you tell them.

688 - You make happy, content and discontent people masks to put on to show your state of mind.

689 - You wonder why everything not Civ2 is in such a high resolution.

690 - You are able to keep one 2.42, one FW, one MGE, and one ToT game going on at the same time, and keeping track of them all in your head.

 

[jadelicia]

691) In addition to the last one: you always have about 10 or more games going at once and you can remember your current strageties in them all (I know, that's really sad, but true).

 

[jadelicia]

692) You are not in the least intimidated by the fact this thread has 13 pages and you are proud when you can say that all 13 apply to you.

 

[quepetho]

693. You get so angry with the japanese for "sneak attacking"
that you yell at your kids. (stopped playing for a few months
after that happened. I'm much better now)

694. You pray the people won't revolt in November & switch to
"Communism"

 

[jadelicia]

695) You wonder why there isn't a current leader that has been ruling since 4000B.C. After all, if you can accomplish this, why can't they?

 

[Specialist290]

696. You figure it's because they don't play Civ2.

697. You would like to see a President who does play Civ2.

698. You have a bumper sticker that says "Montezuma for President" and has the Civ2 icon (that would actually make a good product for the shop over at 'Poly).

699. On Nov. 11, you vote for the write-in candidate: Montezuma.

700. The results come in and show that ol' Monty has won.

701. You are one of the driving forces behind this thread.

702. ...And aren't ashamed to admit it.