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Another "Politcally Incorrect" Thread: Titles for Civ III

Discussion in 'Civ3 - General Discussions' started by WarlordMatt, Jul 8, 2002.

  1. bobgote

    bobgote Trousers

    Joined:
    Apr 14, 2002
    Messages:
    4,786
    Location:
    Melbourne, VIC
    Where Canada doesn't exist....and rightly so!
     
  2. Myartar

    Myartar Yeah, I'm back

    Joined:
    May 13, 2002
    Messages:
    257
    Location:
    Springfield, Missouri
    Real life: where Canada exists.... as the 51st US state...

    Civ III, Where...
    "the Chinese and Japanese speak clear English."
    "when Caesar and Cleopatra fight, it's not a lovers quarrel"
    "Xerses looks like he's gonna sell you some pot"
    "Lincoln and Bismarck look like they've been smoking Xerses pot"
    "the Iroquois have mounted warriors that look very similar to the Souix..."
    "the Americans speak clear English"
    "Lincoln offers to 'tussle' with you"
    "the Japanese test thier first atomic bombs on New York and Chicago"
    "the only black guy doesn't play basketball"
    "Cleopatra worries about the vast chicken farms of Egypt"
    "no matter what country or tribe your units come from, almost everyone in the military is white"
     
  3. acjvanv

    acjvanv Chieftain

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2002
    Messages:
    28
    Location:
    Amsterdam
    Civ III, Where,

    "you only know that horses are horses, if you invent the wheel"
    "you learn how to work with iron before you know it exists"
    "Moscow, Paris and London can flip to Germany when the right propaganda is used"
    "you can`t watch WW3 on "TV"
    "America an the Iroquois can have a MPP"
     
  4. WarlordMatt

    WarlordMatt Emperor

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2002
    Messages:
    1,383
    ROTFL!!!!!

    LOL!!!!!

    Civ III, Where...

    "You can build mines in 4000 BC"
    "Shaka looks like Shaq O'Neil"
    "People riot because the city is crowded"
    "You can have a city with 200,000 people in 1500 BC"
    "You can build Copernicus's Observatory when there's no such thing as observatories"
    "Millions of troops can occupy a piece of land the size of Rhode Island"
    "You can have Flight before Motorized Transportation"
    "Galleons don't need iron or saltpeter even though they have cannons"

    Ummm..that's all I can think of right now. :D
     
  5. Dinorius R.

    Dinorius R. Somnambulist

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    161
    Location:
    Local to my locality
    Civ 3 , the game Sid Meier thought so much of that he designed Sim Golf instead..

    Civ 3, the game in which Immortals aren't.

    Civ 3, the game where wine is not so much a resource as a pastime on the official web Forum.
     
  6. peso79

    peso79 Chieftain

    Joined:
    Feb 8, 2002
    Messages:
    18
    Location:
    Arlington, VA
    Civ III...

    Where mining a field of cattle is the smart thing to do

    Where gunpowder is in worldwide use by 1400 A.D. and tanks by 1730 A.D.

    Where you STILL shouldn't get involved in a land war in Asia.

    Where the entertainment industry is unnecessary, religion and schools bringing all the culture a country needs (Gee, if the right-wingers had their way...)

    Where incense makes people just as happy as wine does (must be a special blend)

    And last of all...

    Where people can play for hours on end, and publicly whine about it for many more hours. :rolleyes:
     
  7. Reboot

    Reboot Privateer

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2002
    Messages:
    337
    Location:
    1.17N 103.50E
    Civ III...

    ... paradise without plate tectonics.

    ... prepare to go bald despite better technology.

    ... where Tireme arrows sink Iron ships.

    ... Build a Civilization to withstand the Test of Patience.

    ... same planet, new scum.

    ... "I'm the King of the World!" - Spearman.

    ... *All your base are belong to us*

    ... I can't believe its not Civ2.5!

    ... Wanted: Elephant riders. Only Indians need apply.

    ... Our wheat is bolted to the ground. (But luxuries go everywhere though)

    ... "I wanna be a pirate!" - Governor

    ... No cross-border pollutions! Yippee!

    ... Feed a Tank an Aspirin.
     
  8. WarlordMatt

    WarlordMatt Emperor

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2002
    Messages:
    1,383
    Dinorius! You're back! I haven't seen you in a long time....

    Funny everyone! Just keep on postin'....
     
  9. Gastric ReFlux

    Gastric ReFlux Dispatch our Tech Staff

    Joined:
    Jun 25, 2002
    Messages:
    717
    Cro-Magnon Hunt, Kill Less Advanced Species Members for Gold

    Cro-Magnon Farming, Advanced Propagation of Less Advanced Species Members for Steady Income
     
  10. Mongoloid Cow

    Mongoloid Cow Great Khan

    Joined:
    Dec 18, 2001
    Messages:
    2,816
    Location:
    Adelaide, Australia
    Civ 3 - the game where Germany starts a world war without invading Poland
     
  11. CRaider

    CRaider Chieftain

    Joined:
    Mar 10, 2002
    Messages:
    18
    Civ 3, the game where wine is not so much a resource as a pastime on the official web Forum. [/B][/QUOTE]

    :rotfl: Good one!
     
  12. LaRo

    LaRo Dead Rat

    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2001
    Messages:
    493
    Location:
    on the road
    Civ3, the game where players spend more time on fan's website than playing.
     
  13. Dinorius R.

    Dinorius R. Somnambulist

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2002
    Messages:
    161
    Location:
    Local to my locality

    Well thank you Matt, I'm flattered you even remember me! I realized I was spending more time here at CFC than actually playing the game, so I gave up Civ for a while and started playing The Sims. Man, I thought Civ3 was boring at times, but The Sims takes the cake for being utterly pointless (and their web forum is crap compared to CFC). So here I am again.

    Meanwhile, some other possible wordage for your Civ III box;

    Sid Meier's* Civilization III:
    - The beta version of Civ IV. We only call it Civ III because that's the number of patches it took to get it anywhere near right -

    System Requirements:

    Minimum: 2GHz Pentium 4 with 512Mb RAM and 40GB hard drive.

    Recommended: 25GHz Pentium 7, 4096Mb RAM, 180GB hard drive plus Empire Earth fully installed so you have something to do in between turns.

    *Sid Meier content completely fictional and only listed for marketing purposes. Resemblance to any persons called Sid Meier whether living or dead is, like, purely coincidental.
     
  14. Lt. 'Killer' M.

    Lt. 'Killer' M. Deity

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2001
    Messages:
    7,475
    :lol: @ dino, you're a real game swill ;)

    Welcome back from the Sims :goodjob:


    CivIII - find time to work while you play!

    CivIII - a totally new Artifical Inteligence - ah, wait one, Artificial, full stop!
     
  15. Sultan Bhargash

    Sultan Bhargash Trickster Reincarnated

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2001
    Messages:
    7,608
    Location:
    Missing The Harem
    Civ 3 - Collect all the patches!

    Civ 3 - Face 100 spearmen and laugh!

    Civ 3 - Race to build a nuclear missile before it crashes!

    Civ 3 - Where men are men and women are rulers

    Civ 3 - Less Da Vinci, More Sun Tzu than Civ 2

    Civ 3 - If you aren't arguing about Israel vs. Palestine, you WILL BE once you try our forums...

    Civ 3 - Take your mind off current events while building endless military units to try and fill every available space before global warming turns it all into deserts!

    Civ 3 - We catch you spying, it means war! Try that with a real government and see where it gets you!

    Civ 3 - Bring a diaper, you ain't going anywhere!!!
     
  16. Marlos

    Marlos Christian Soldier

    Joined:
    Nov 28, 2001
    Messages:
    407
    Location:
    Canton, MI, USA
    Civ3 - Where reducing your enemy to a single city just isn't good enough.

    Civ3 - Command armies - of workers! And when you're done controlling them, build an army that fights someone!

    Civ3 - Meet your neighbors, then spend half of your time in the game kicking them out of your territory!

    Civ3 - Where the wonders aren't quite so wonderful!

    Civ3 - Where you can bombard someone for decades and never kill them!

    Civ3 - Build cities under a democratic government that are so corrupt that they never build anything!

    Civ3 - Enslave enemy workers in the 1st century! And the 20th century!
     
  17. hzm

    hzm Ecco the Dolphin

    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2001
    Messages:
    352
    Location:
    western united states
    Civilization 3: Where even though you may be a civilized democracy, you still have the joys of razing enemy cities, conquering entire nations and keeping their lands, performing ethnic cleansing operations, poisoning civilian water supplys, and killing primative peoples for money.
     
  18. murewa

    murewa Warlord

    Joined:
    Jun 30, 2002
    Messages:
    147
    from the official website:

    "The most detailed and beautiful art, animations and sound ever found in the genre."

    "Improved combat options provide finer levels of control for enhanced war-making capabilities. "

    EDIT: 'nuff said.
     
  19. Evie

    Evie Pronounced like Eevee

    Joined:
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    Female
    Location:
    Ottawa, Ontario
    Murewa, this is not a *****ing thread. If you want to whine like Zouave, then do it outside this *HUMOR* thread.

    If you take the genre to be the "Civilizations" genre, it'S true, though.

    And if you compare Civ III to Civ II, it *IS* true that the new combat options provide a finer level of control (bombardment et al).

    Civ III, the game can't love if you played Civ II...Master Zouave said so!

    Civ III, come ***** with us!

    Civ III, Not a chess game, a cheat game.
     
  20. Fr8monkey

    Fr8monkey Deity

    Joined:
    Nov 24, 2001
    Messages:
    2,531
    Location:
    In the world of tomorrow!!
    Civ III - Where your Galleys are safe from enemy bombers!
     

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