Medieval: Total War I think. There are many flaws in it too but overall it's probably the one I've enjoyed the most. Other then that I've had a lot of fun with Myth 2 and Civ also, but the war-aspect is a bit less in those.
edit: Of course Battlefield 1942 and Battlefield 2 rank up there too, if fps:s are considered wargames.
Well, I wouldn't necessarily say best...but SuddenStrike (most inappropriately named game ever, a single map often took 13 hours straight playing) had me hooked in a way few other games have ever managed
If you want a good turnbased wargame: Combat Mission Barbarossa to Berlin.
If you want a good RTS: Blitzkrieg (Blitzkrieg II is coming out soon if not already out) and Dawn Of War 40K.
If you want a good turnbased/realtime game: Shogun: Total War or Medieval Total War
If you want a good FPS: Call Of Duty or Battlefield 2
CIV II (non expansion) hands down...
explanation: (two words) : CHEAT MODE!!!
side notes: it just makes the the game so much more fun and interesting to be a a diety like person controlling everything in the game, like sim city in a sense...
Combat Mission: Beyond Overlord
Combat Mission: Barbarossa to Berlin
Combat Mission: Afrika Corps
Close Combat II
T-72 Balkans on Fire
Personally, I don't consider Civ to be a wargame (I'd call it a grand strategy game). As much fun as the Battlefield series is, I would never refer to it as a wargame. Edit: actually, I'm amazed at some of the, uh, "wargame" suggestions.
(board)
Hammer of the Scots (probably the coolest wargame ever created)
Crusader Rex
Liberty
Rommel in the Desert
Napoleon
Hannibal: Rome vs. Carthage
Europe Engulfed
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