Libertarian
Pansophist
- Joined
- Nov 1, 2001
- Messages
- 186
[...hands on hips... ...staring with intimidation...]
Yeah! You guys just whine whine whine. There ain't no game on the market more realistic than Civ3.
1. It really does take battleships the better part of three years to get from Norfolk to the Persian Gulf. That's why the Pentagon uses Miss Cleo to help determine where battleships need to be anchored.
2. Cruise missles really are carried on Transports along with, at most, seven men. They can't be fired from ships. That Gulf War thing? A hoax!
3. Great leaders really are produced only as a result of military campaigns fought and won. Examples are numerous throughout history: Martin Luther King in hand-to-hand combat with cops in the street; Gandhi firing submachine guns at British encampments; Jesus chasing Jewish Rabbis with a sword.
4. Sources of coal, iron, and uranium really do dry up if you never even use them. It's too complicated to explain, but it has to do with evaporation and quantum mechanics. Dr. Laura Schlessinger explains it all in her book, Ten Stupid Things People Do To Lose Their Coal.
5. You really can't irrigate hills. All those vineyards and stuff all over the world are just illusions created by the Great Right-Wing Conspiracy. If you don't believe me, ask Hillary Clinton. Plus, the Incas never irrigated their hills. That's an urban legend started by Spanish conquistadors.
6. Bombers really can't sink ships. Oh, I know. You're going to mention that Pearl Harbor thingy. Well, what happened there was that the ships didn't really sink. Instead, the sea spontaneously rose forty feet higher due to the blanket of low-pressure created by all those Japanese planes.
7. War on foreign soil really is always unpopular in Democracies. No one actually supported the troops in World War II. The fact is that Hitler was a hero in America. And when troops landed at Normandy, massive protests broke out in New York and Chicago. Emperor Roosevelt had to give all those people furs and silks to pacify them.
8. It really is true that the farther away a city is from its capital, the more corrupt it becomes. Just compare the rampant corruption in Honolulu with the immaculate morality in Washington, DC.
9. Armies really do move one unit at a time. Every general knows this. That's why it takes weeks and months to assemble an array of infantry and tanks. They all take turns. In case you don't know, it's called Military Etiquette.
10. Joan of Arc really was a more important French leader than either Napolean or de Gaulle. It is a little known fact that the King of France really did pay her ransom, but his check bounced due to a bookkeeping snafu.
If you don't like Civ3, then go play Civ2 or something. You think this game was made for you? Wrong! It was made for us fifth-grade snot-nosed sycophants who don't know what happened at Tiananmen. So there.

Yeah! You guys just whine whine whine. There ain't no game on the market more realistic than Civ3.
1. It really does take battleships the better part of three years to get from Norfolk to the Persian Gulf. That's why the Pentagon uses Miss Cleo to help determine where battleships need to be anchored.
2. Cruise missles really are carried on Transports along with, at most, seven men. They can't be fired from ships. That Gulf War thing? A hoax!
3. Great leaders really are produced only as a result of military campaigns fought and won. Examples are numerous throughout history: Martin Luther King in hand-to-hand combat with cops in the street; Gandhi firing submachine guns at British encampments; Jesus chasing Jewish Rabbis with a sword.
4. Sources of coal, iron, and uranium really do dry up if you never even use them. It's too complicated to explain, but it has to do with evaporation and quantum mechanics. Dr. Laura Schlessinger explains it all in her book, Ten Stupid Things People Do To Lose Their Coal.
5. You really can't irrigate hills. All those vineyards and stuff all over the world are just illusions created by the Great Right-Wing Conspiracy. If you don't believe me, ask Hillary Clinton. Plus, the Incas never irrigated their hills. That's an urban legend started by Spanish conquistadors.
6. Bombers really can't sink ships. Oh, I know. You're going to mention that Pearl Harbor thingy. Well, what happened there was that the ships didn't really sink. Instead, the sea spontaneously rose forty feet higher due to the blanket of low-pressure created by all those Japanese planes.
7. War on foreign soil really is always unpopular in Democracies. No one actually supported the troops in World War II. The fact is that Hitler was a hero in America. And when troops landed at Normandy, massive protests broke out in New York and Chicago. Emperor Roosevelt had to give all those people furs and silks to pacify them.
8. It really is true that the farther away a city is from its capital, the more corrupt it becomes. Just compare the rampant corruption in Honolulu with the immaculate morality in Washington, DC.
9. Armies really do move one unit at a time. Every general knows this. That's why it takes weeks and months to assemble an array of infantry and tanks. They all take turns. In case you don't know, it's called Military Etiquette.
10. Joan of Arc really was a more important French leader than either Napolean or de Gaulle. It is a little known fact that the King of France really did pay her ransom, but his check bounced due to a bookkeeping snafu.
If you don't like Civ3, then go play Civ2 or something. You think this game was made for you? Wrong! It was made for us fifth-grade snot-nosed sycophants who don't know what happened at Tiananmen. So there.
