Uncle Anton
Lighthorseman
O Hai!!
(Calm Female Voice) "WARNING, WARNING. Low-Level Rant Detected. You have 15 Minutes to reach Minimum Safe Distance..."
Ok, so I only really poked my ungainly, moley and unfeasibly large Hispanic (but still delightfully Australian Bogan) nose on this part of the forums about 3 weeks ago or so to ask "So... I've got a brand new rig that can actually play games made after 1939... (My last rig was given to me by my grandfather, who no doubt used it at Bletchely Park to have a go at the Kreigsmarine) what's the go?" with CiV... Long time Fanatics lurkers will know me from my generally reasonable and considered postings on the Civ4 mods sections, specifically around the QC/LoR/HiTM/CivFusion type mod threads and my occasionally blatant, generally ill-thought out, and often inappropriate "contributions" (trololol) to the OT forum.
So... the reasons for today's trol- erm, I mean Post? When I asked for advice on whether to take the plunge from 4 to 5 the other week I received some very good, reasoned and kindly advice upon which time I decided to adopt a Nike style philosophy, Cocaine and Hookers excluded.
My philosophy when it comes to buying games has traditionally been to wait at least 3 months after release to buy a game and take the plunge.... This is less to do with cynicism, or the nature of the gaming industry in regards to shovelware (i.e. release a shovelware game that may or may not be incomplete, allow the community to find and preferably fix themselves, all the issues we missed, and still reap the cash monays whilst cutting down on post-sale support costs) and more to do with my other bug-bare, that being Region Pricing. See, you crazy cats living overseas in EU/US may have to intermittently put up with (In no particular order) a politican from the Bush family/The Patriot Act/Silvio Berlusconi/Gypsies/Occasional German Invasions/attempts to either erode or propogate the 2nd US Amendment (Take your pick)... but at least you guys (and grrls) don't have to put up with the b@stard that is.... Region Pricing.
Now, granted, I'm sure there are PLENTY of local economic factors which make your particular place of residence less than perfect, which you too could legitimate about (as I'm ing about mine). And I'm sure there are likewise plenty of my compatriots who have genuinely worse issues than this to deal with (*Waves at Brisbane*). But simply go to one of the Myraid of websites which point out AU pricing for games on Steam versus US or UK pricing on steam. Then look at the current value (or even recent values of the AU Dollar). Then wince. Rinse, Repeat.
With that background information well and truly assimilated (and with more than a couple Brandy and Waters under my belt this afternoon), here are my thoughts on the AU$38 copy of CiV I was able to wrangle thanks to my fellow Civ Fanatics...
"Money Talks and Bullsh!t Walks" - Danny Devito... from one of those lame Ivan Reitman "Comedies"
Seriously, the above quote should've made it into the CiVlopedia. Now, I'm not saying this is a bad or good thing. But CiV definitely takes us back to the Civ 2 days when Cash could buy you anything. And I do mean anything. If someone mods the GDR into a purple f#cking Giant Death My-Little-Pony thanks to the game's mechanics it wouldn't take much more than a metric f#ckton of Cash (although perhaps a 2-resource of 'magic-love-tinky-winky-dust' with a 'candy-cane-dreams' improvement on top of it) to spam the map with them and tread the entire planet underfoot (or hoof as it were). It opens the door to a practically difficult but still theoretically possible range of disturbing practices...
Expand your Borders Sir? Yes please Geeves, I'll pay Cash. Build your Spaceship Sir? Yes please Geeves, I'll pay Cash. Disband half your existing Army and re-build them in a theoretically ludicrously short time frame with 50% greater XP and a free Morale promotion Sir? Yes please Geeves, I'll pay Cash. Dispose of the dead Crack Whore in your trunk Sir? Yes please Gee.... Actually, I'll leave it there... but you get the idea.
I can readily understand how people are unhappy with the difficulty of the game. I just finished my first on the same difficulty level I usually played 4 on and I had a Utopia, Spaceship or Conquest Victory to choose from and the latter involved a Japanese "Defence" Force that had enough GDRs that if I recorded and saved a replay using some 3rd party software of some kind I probably could've spliced in some footage of some schoolgirls in underwear and flogged it to some xChan weeaboo's as a "Patlabor" sequel.
And it's not just that. If I was genuinely disappointed in anything, it was the Diplomacy. Everything revolves around Coin. And no matter how many gifts of coin, free units, techs or offers to dispose of dead prostitutes you make, the international community just isn't happy. It's sad to say it, but I think the diplomacy in CiV is actually worse than it was in Civ2, and that is really saying something.
Having said that, that's pretty much my only real criticism. 1UPT was frustrating occasionally, but in a good way. It's as if Sid was listening when I howled at the moon at his latest incarnation of 'Pirates!' and it's ground combat system wondering why some similar kind of system couldn't be employed in a Civ game. I found it a refreshing change from Stacks-O-Doom, and certainly more realistic and better implemented than the 'Uber-Old-School 200,000 soldiers-represented-by-20-elite-units-in-one-plot-get-obliterated-by-a-single-axeman-trololololol' Civ1 and 2 style.
The graphics were shiny (Thx DX11!!!
), the gameplay was interesting (although very basic.. I think overall Civ happiness dumbs down things a bit too much), and it was certainly enough of a distraction for me to waste a weekend playing CiV when I could've been a) playing Just Cause 2, b) racking up Achievements on Pirates V Knights V Vikings, c) tying my wife down to the couch pre-Hollywood-Antonio-Banderas-style and gaffer taping her eyes open so she has to watch and finish Battlestar Galactica, or d) drinking insane amounts of Cognac and Brandy... o wait, I did that anyway (LOL)
Oh, and Aristotle was my favourite smart dead guy. It's now Albert. That ripper about trying to kiss a pretty girl while driving a car is worth the $38 all by itself. That and this game has simply reinforced the ungodly, unnatural and inexplicable man-crush I have on W. Morgan Sheppard. I hear ya brother... General Jackson wouldn't have sat there in front of that hill with his thumb up his ass.... give him a Regiment Ewell, a Regiment!!!
In conclusion, not saying I won't go back to Civ4. Just saying CiV is probably worth the $35 bucks everyone else gets to pay for it (Not the $80 odd Firaxis are still trying to scam off Aussies via Steam). Bout to fire up a game as a Seppo (i.e. American) with CCMAT loaded... we'll see how that goes down.
Cheers.
Moderator Action: Please keep an eye on your language.
(Calm Female Voice) "WARNING, WARNING. Low-Level Rant Detected. You have 15 Minutes to reach Minimum Safe Distance..."
Ok, so I only really poked my ungainly, moley and unfeasibly large Hispanic (but still delightfully Australian Bogan) nose on this part of the forums about 3 weeks ago or so to ask "So... I've got a brand new rig that can actually play games made after 1939... (My last rig was given to me by my grandfather, who no doubt used it at Bletchely Park to have a go at the Kreigsmarine) what's the go?" with CiV... Long time Fanatics lurkers will know me from my generally reasonable and considered postings on the Civ4 mods sections, specifically around the QC/LoR/HiTM/CivFusion type mod threads and my occasionally blatant, generally ill-thought out, and often inappropriate "contributions" (trololol) to the OT forum.
So... the reasons for today's trol- erm, I mean Post? When I asked for advice on whether to take the plunge from 4 to 5 the other week I received some very good, reasoned and kindly advice upon which time I decided to adopt a Nike style philosophy, Cocaine and Hookers excluded.
My philosophy when it comes to buying games has traditionally been to wait at least 3 months after release to buy a game and take the plunge.... This is less to do with cynicism, or the nature of the gaming industry in regards to shovelware (i.e. release a shovelware game that may or may not be incomplete, allow the community to find and preferably fix themselves, all the issues we missed, and still reap the cash monays whilst cutting down on post-sale support costs) and more to do with my other bug-bare, that being Region Pricing. See, you crazy cats living overseas in EU/US may have to intermittently put up with (In no particular order) a politican from the Bush family/The Patriot Act/Silvio Berlusconi/Gypsies/Occasional German Invasions/attempts to either erode or propogate the 2nd US Amendment (Take your pick)... but at least you guys (and grrls) don't have to put up with the b@stard that is.... Region Pricing.
Now, granted, I'm sure there are PLENTY of local economic factors which make your particular place of residence less than perfect, which you too could legitimate about (as I'm ing about mine). And I'm sure there are likewise plenty of my compatriots who have genuinely worse issues than this to deal with (*Waves at Brisbane*). But simply go to one of the Myraid of websites which point out AU pricing for games on Steam versus US or UK pricing on steam. Then look at the current value (or even recent values of the AU Dollar). Then wince. Rinse, Repeat.
With that background information well and truly assimilated (and with more than a couple Brandy and Waters under my belt this afternoon), here are my thoughts on the AU$38 copy of CiV I was able to wrangle thanks to my fellow Civ Fanatics...
"Money Talks and Bullsh!t Walks" - Danny Devito... from one of those lame Ivan Reitman "Comedies"
Seriously, the above quote should've made it into the CiVlopedia. Now, I'm not saying this is a bad or good thing. But CiV definitely takes us back to the Civ 2 days when Cash could buy you anything. And I do mean anything. If someone mods the GDR into a purple f#cking Giant Death My-Little-Pony thanks to the game's mechanics it wouldn't take much more than a metric f#ckton of Cash (although perhaps a 2-resource of 'magic-love-tinky-winky-dust' with a 'candy-cane-dreams' improvement on top of it) to spam the map with them and tread the entire planet underfoot (or hoof as it were). It opens the door to a practically difficult but still theoretically possible range of disturbing practices...
Expand your Borders Sir? Yes please Geeves, I'll pay Cash. Build your Spaceship Sir? Yes please Geeves, I'll pay Cash. Disband half your existing Army and re-build them in a theoretically ludicrously short time frame with 50% greater XP and a free Morale promotion Sir? Yes please Geeves, I'll pay Cash. Dispose of the dead Crack Whore in your trunk Sir? Yes please Gee.... Actually, I'll leave it there... but you get the idea.
I can readily understand how people are unhappy with the difficulty of the game. I just finished my first on the same difficulty level I usually played 4 on and I had a Utopia, Spaceship or Conquest Victory to choose from and the latter involved a Japanese "Defence" Force that had enough GDRs that if I recorded and saved a replay using some 3rd party software of some kind I probably could've spliced in some footage of some schoolgirls in underwear and flogged it to some xChan weeaboo's as a "Patlabor" sequel.
And it's not just that. If I was genuinely disappointed in anything, it was the Diplomacy. Everything revolves around Coin. And no matter how many gifts of coin, free units, techs or offers to dispose of dead prostitutes you make, the international community just isn't happy. It's sad to say it, but I think the diplomacy in CiV is actually worse than it was in Civ2, and that is really saying something.
Having said that, that's pretty much my only real criticism. 1UPT was frustrating occasionally, but in a good way. It's as if Sid was listening when I howled at the moon at his latest incarnation of 'Pirates!' and it's ground combat system wondering why some similar kind of system couldn't be employed in a Civ game. I found it a refreshing change from Stacks-O-Doom, and certainly more realistic and better implemented than the 'Uber-Old-School 200,000 soldiers-represented-by-20-elite-units-in-one-plot-get-obliterated-by-a-single-axeman-trololololol' Civ1 and 2 style.
The graphics were shiny (Thx DX11!!!
), the gameplay was interesting (although very basic.. I think overall Civ happiness dumbs down things a bit too much), and it was certainly enough of a distraction for me to waste a weekend playing CiV when I could've been a) playing Just Cause 2, b) racking up Achievements on Pirates V Knights V Vikings, c) tying my wife down to the couch pre-Hollywood-Antonio-Banderas-style and gaffer taping her eyes open so she has to watch and finish Battlestar Galactica, or d) drinking insane amounts of Cognac and Brandy... o wait, I did that anyway (LOL)Oh, and Aristotle was my favourite smart dead guy. It's now Albert. That ripper about trying to kiss a pretty girl while driving a car is worth the $38 all by itself. That and this game has simply reinforced the ungodly, unnatural and inexplicable man-crush I have on W. Morgan Sheppard. I hear ya brother... General Jackson wouldn't have sat there in front of that hill with his thumb up his ass.... give him a Regiment Ewell, a Regiment!!!
In conclusion, not saying I won't go back to Civ4. Just saying CiV is probably worth the $35 bucks everyone else gets to pay for it (Not the $80 odd Firaxis are still trying to scam off Aussies via Steam). Bout to fire up a game as a Seppo (i.e. American) with CCMAT loaded... we'll see how that goes down.
Cheers.
Moderator Action: Please keep an eye on your language.
