Favorite Simpson Quotes.

[CornMaster]

When Homer buys stock in Animotion.

News: "And stocks are all up today, except for Animotion which plumitted 70 points. This is devistating for the companies only shareholder....Homer Simpson."
Homer (sitting on couch anxiously): "That's good......If plumitted means up, and 70 means 500."

Ned opened an Christan Amusement Park called "Praiseland". In memory to his wife Maude. There was a statue of here near the park entrance. Vistors would come and have visions of heaven at the statue. Homer and Ned find out that a gas leak is causing people to halusonate. But Ned is making a lot of money for the orphans.....

Ned Flanders: "Yes...Gas company. How poisious is your gas?
.............
I see. How about in wide open areas with lots of ventalation??
.........
HOW CAN THAT BE WORSE!!!"

Then he closes the park.

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CornEmpire Owner/Operator
My Civ 2 Scenario Page.

 

[Cunobelin Of Hippo]

Ralph Wiggum, on recieving his first 'Academic Alert' notice:

"Me fail English? That's unpossible!"

More classics from Ralphy:

"I bent my Wookie!"

"I'm not allowed to play in the deep end of the sandbox. That's where the Leporachaun lives." "He told me to burn things!"

"They taste like...burning! WahhhH!"

 

[rickster]

Bart and Jay Leno are washing Krusty's hair in a bathtub when Homer comes in to use the bath room.

Bart: Hey!
Homer: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know that you, Jay Leno and a monkey were bathing a clown.
Krusty: Well they are so get out!

 

[Cunobelin Of Hippo]

Homer, as a 300 pound hulking fatso, tries to use the phone. He gets an operator's voice:

"The fingers you have dialed with are too fat. To obtain a special dialing wand, mash the keyboard with your fist now."

 

[CornMaster]

Everyone was watching the "Itchy and Scratchy Show" when Poochiewas on. Every one hated him.
Homer: "What did you think??"
Bart: (To Marge) "Can we go to bed without dinner?"
Marge: "Yes"
They all run up stairs and slam the doors.
Homer: "It doesn't matter what they think." (To Brain) "I liked it, right?"
Brain: "You don't want to know what I thought.
Now look sad and say do'h"
Homer: (Bows head) "Do'h"

 

[Kev]

Man to Krusty: "You mean to say that you took ALL of the money you earned by liscencing your name and bet it all AGAINST the Globetrotters?!?!"

Krusty: "I thought the Generals were DUE!"

I loved it when Krusty was watching the game.
Krusty: "Argh! He's spinninging it on his finger! Just TAKE it!"
"It CAN'T be legal to use a LADDER!"

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Diplomacy - the art of
saying "Good Doggie"
until you can find a rock

 

[CornMaster]

Ned: "Hello, Gas company... How poisonous is your gas? Wow. But I'm talking about... outdoors with plenty of ventilation...... How could that be worse? Okay, permanant brain damage, or just temporary? I see..."
!--------------------!
"Homer: Welcome to the Internet friend, how may I help you?
Comic Book Guy: I am interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobot connection to a 1.5 megabit viperactic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP rouder thats compatible with my token ring eithernet lan configuration?
Homer: ................................. can I have some money now?"

And of course.....the mp3: ftp://ftp.smoovenet.com/pub/lardlad/sounds/season9/bus8.mp3


Anyway....Excellent Page for Simpsons quotes!!!! Even has wav/mp3's!!! http://www.lardlad.com/quotes.shtml


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CornEmpire Owner/Operator

 

[goodbye_mr_bond]

Bart's in France on a 'student exchange' where he's been forced into hard labour for weeks. Finally he escapes and finds a policeman:

Bart: "...and they make me work all day with no breaks, and sleep on the floor, and I eat donkey food, and they stole all my things, and they put antifreeze in the wine..."
Policeman: (shocked)"Antifreeze in the wine! That's a very serious crime in France!"