Very true. I was watching quill18 on Youtube, playing a Deity culture-win game as France and he did indeed reload after a misplay. I guess I am being too perfectionist. To be honest I think I always had more fun in previous versions of Civ playing on a difficulty that I could mostly win, and going from mostly winning to mostly losing is the most disheartening thing. (A 50/50 ratio would be ideal to keep interest and challenge.)
I was trying to maximize Mali's bonus by settling next to desert - bad idea. No production = early sneak attack from Ghengis. I feel like often the civ bonuses are just a distraction from optimal play, especially early game ones.
Those loooong production times are also a bit off-putting. (26 turns for a builder, ouch)
Mali isn't supposed to produce anything. They are supposed to
buy everything. That's why they are a really weird choice for trying to learn how to play the early game. You play Mali when you want to try something completely different. They're kinda the Venice of Civ VI.
Which bonuses are just a distraction depends, and it is hard to tell if you don't have a good handle on how to play the early game. There are some incredibly good ones, and some incredibly bad ones, and some incredibly bad ones on good Civs overall.
Really good ones:
Alexander - UU replacements for two of the most-used early game rushes. Early game conquest is a very strong strategy.
Korea - Half-priced districts are super strong. Science is super strong. You don't even need to worry about adjacency bonuses.
Really bad ones:
Norway - Navies are often superfluous, and a Religious building without a bonus to
getting a Religion is all kinds of terrible.
Georgia - Religion is a bad strategy. No bonus to getting a religion. Golden Ages aren't make or break and are easy to chain. Walls are situational.
Really bad ones on good overall Civs:
America - By the time you get Air units, the game is already over, but a reliable +5 combat bonus is really helpful in the early game.
China - No one cares about your Great Wall, Emperor Qin. We're here for Wonder spamming, Builder charges, and Inspirations/Eurekas.
Civ V for a long time emphasized Tall vs. Wide, with Tall usually being the more viable strategy for most "metas" and patch states. In Civ VI, there is only Wide. It is often better to actively avoid population growth in your cities after a certain point.
This is due to the District mechanic, which is cool but I don't think people realize how much it warps the entire game of Civ at a fundamental level. Almost every victory type can be summed up as "get a lot of cities, then spam your victory district." The more Campuses you have, the faster you'll get a Science Victory, the more Holy Sites you have, the faster you'll get a Religious Victory, and so on.
My point is, if you are used to the older versions, you have to unlearn a lot of habits. Large cities are
kinda bad in Civ VI, and you have to get a large amount of cities by a certain point or you'll fall too far behind the AI. Religion is also
actively detrimental to your ability to win unless you are going for a Religious Victory or your Civ has important bonuses from getting a Religion, due to the fact that you are
required to build Holy Sites when you should be building military and Settlers, and said Holy Sites just take up district slots you could have used for your victory district. This also means that Civs with Religious bonuses are generally weak options, especially Civs that don't get bonuses to getting a Religion in the first place.