Funniest Experiences at your Job

[BlueMonday]

We were discussing this topic over at another forum, and I wondered what was the funniest work experience for the civfanatics realm.

for me:

If you ever want to work in a place where you'll get all kinds of fun stories, get a job as a truck loader/unloader at UPS. I've been working as a thrower...er...loader there for a few months now and I have a new great story every week.

Anyway, three weeks ago I came in about fifteen minutes early to work. The phone in our area starts ringing and no one was around so I picked it up. On the other end I hear one of my co-workers -"Primo" as we name him- yelling into the phone, "DOUG! DOUG!!" (Doug is our supervisor on the belt)

"No Primo, this is Bil. What do you need?" I say.

"Oh, well," I can hear his speech slurred into one long vowel, "I'm really really drunk...BUT I'M COMING IN ANYWAY!!!"

He shows up about twenty minutes later and he is sooooo drunk you can smell bourbon on him from ten feet away (he'd obviously been drinking for a few hours). He stumbles into the trailer that me and "Monkey" are loading and tries to load with us. He's stumbling everywhere, can't even say our names, drunk like an Irishman at a Wake. Finally, he collapses onto a Gateway Computer box and pukes all over it. Five minutes later, Doug shows up and drives him home.

Ever since then I've been fantasizing about the look on whoever's face it was when they found their brand new Gateway computer delivered to them with dried vomit all over it. Someone in Canon City, CO.

 

[CornMaster]

I was working at Dell as phone support.

A women calls in and says here computer is still getting errors. She was african-american and I had a VERY hard time understanding here.

Anyway...she said they had brought 3 new desks but the computer kept giving the same errors.

So I asked what error? She said the computer told her to go out and buy a new desk. So she did.

I said WHAT!!! And I asked her to explain other errors she had been getting.

The computer had told her to move the computer around the room. Then to the garage. Then it wanted to go for a rid in the car....and she drove it up and down the driveway. It keeps asking for new desks, she says. I've already spent $600!!!

It must have been the funniest calls I ever had. Turns out she had a Macro Virus of come kind.....anyway...I don't remember what happened....I think we reinstalled windows...anyway...

 

[Pellaken]

well. the funniest thing that probably ever happened at work to me was some of the stuff I did. {at McDonalds}

first of all, I had dropped a plastic bag od nuggets into the fish-fillet oil vat, then tried to take it out of the deep fryer with a plastic spoon. it was the closest item avilable, and I was hoping to pull the entire bag out, but it had melted...

then, I tripped over the fry holder, while it was being cleaned, and ended up on my arse..

then the time when I was running on the floor, slipped, and as I fell saw the "danger when wet" sign

THEN the time when 2 people said "watch the edge" and I dident understand what they were saying, untill I cut the tomato's and they fell off the edge...

 

[Franklyn]

I nearly burned down a restaurant during a summer job as a cook.
I used a spreading knife to apply sterno to the grill. The knife caught fire. (There was some sterno goo left on the knife blade, and it caught fire when I lit the grill). I tried to shake the knife to put out the flames, but somehow hit a paper towel that was on a counter. The paper towel fell into a box of trash below the grill. While I'm staring at the fire like a dumb-ass (the flames were about a foot high at this point), the lead prep cook came over, stomped out the fire and went back to cooking whatever he was cooking.
The freaky thing: The restaurant had burned down a few years earlier. When the box of trash caught fire, that was the thought filling my brain rather than the more rational thought of, "Put out the fire."

 

[Matrix]

Great stories! Especially those of BleuMonday and CornMaster!

I'm studying chemistry and during practicals we also experience a lot of funny things. Like there is this fluid called ether, which has a boiling point of 35°C = 95°F. So when it's at room temperature there is already lots of ether vaporizing. That's why you should never put it in a closed flask. Of course, first years don't know that yet. So someone had ether in his flask and he closed it real tight. A few minutes later the top(?) was launched and crashed against the ceiling.

When you have chemical debree you should throw it in the correct barrel. If you don't, the chemicals might react. You can guess someone made this mistake and threw some acid in a barrel for normal organic material, but he also screwed the top on it tight. Again, a few minutes later: BOOM!! And the whole room was filled with chemicals!

I also had to work with a compound (thionylchloride) which reacts with air alone. To neutralise the rest I had left I had to drop it on ice, but it still made the ice boil straight away.

Last thing (but I wasn't there): there is some chemical which makes boys impotential. And there was a girl that spilled it (accidentally ), so the female assistent said: "All boys leave the room immediately!" And the girls had to clean it up and open the windows.

 

[CurtSibling]

Because currently I work in the games industry, you meet the
Biggest freaks in the world...My job is a daily funny experience as
Everyone is a madman or madwoman.

My funniest experience would be when I was in my last job,
A call centre boredom HQ.

We worked in a centre with about 400+ phone people.
A funny thing happened one day when a guy in my desk area got
A difficult customer service call, he got more agitated and asked
The annoying customer to hold for a moment,

Everyone stared in amazement as the guy stood up,
grabbed his foam keyboard armrest and started to whack
his PC monitor screaming curses and oaths about his customer.

He did this for at least a minute.

Composing himself, he sat back down and dealt with the pest
Of a caller, then the supervisor had plucked up enough courage
To ask him to go and take a break and calm down.

Talk about a lack of self-control!

 

[knowltok2]

Originally posted by CurtSibling

Talk about a lack of self-control!

I don't think you are giving the guy enough credit. It sounds like he actually put the customer on hold, and then was able to resume the call. Many people would have flipped out on the customer.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not holding this individual up as a paragon of composure or anything though.

 

[TrailblazingScot]

I wouldn't class it as funniest...


When we were out in Cyprus this Winter doing fieldwork we saw another coach load of Geology Students.

Sensing trouble the lectures kept their lot on their bus whilst we went to the first outcrop on a hill overlooking a gorge.


Once we EVENTUALLY finished there we proceeded into the gorge and across the river to look more closely at the ignimbrites and volcanic glass etc. The other University proceeded up the hill and saw in the next 15 minutes:

1. Rocks being thrown in the river to soak other students.
2. 2 punch-ups
3. One case of mooning
4. 1 group photo
5. Our lecturers being indistinguishable from students except that they pointed out the geology.

We did the reputation of Durham proud

Later that day we threw rocks into a lake of sulphuric acid in addition to a washing machine...Cyprus is a tip and by dissolving their waste we were doing them a favour

But if anybody saw us

 

[CurtSibling]

Originally posted by kittenOFchaos
I wouldn't class it as funniest...


1. Rocks being thrown in the river to soak other students.
2. 2 punch-ups
3. One case of mooning
4. 1 group photo
5. Our lecturers being indistinguishable from students except that they pointed out the geology.

We did the reputation of Durham proud

Later that day we threw rocks into a lake of sulphuric acid in addition to a washing machine...Cyprus is a tip and by dissolving their waste we were doing them a favour

But if anybody saw us

Ah,
You English are always such good ambassadors for the rest
of the the UK, you silly louts!

 

[Whiskey Priest]

I used to work at a gardening store. Stupidest customers on the planet.

One lady was asking me questions about water lilies, those things you see floating on ponds. Her last question was

"Do I have to water it?" No. It spends its ENTIRE EXISTANCE IN WATER!!!!!

or those wonderful vague questions like

"Do you have those green things that you stick in the ground?"

or these *******s who think their smart consumers.

"No I don't want that bag of dirt, that one looks better" ITS DIRT!!!!!
"This plant is dead" people will pick up the one plant out of a hundred that is dead, bring it to me, and expect me to be able to do something about it.

oh and I crashed a forklift into the side of a transport truck. Two holes right on the side, man was that driver pissed.

The End

PS: I think the chemical was saltpetre, that stuff'll make your jalopy floppy.

 

[aneeshm]

Shouldn't this be in the Humour & jokes forum ?

 

[BlueMonday]

Originally posted by aneeshm
Shouldn't this be in the Humour & jokes forum ?

What the hell is the humor and jokes forum?!

Great stories guys, keep em coming. "Do you need to water water-lillies?" Oh that's golden!

 

[CurtSibling]

In my current job, an executive phoned me and stated,

"A CD from your company has made my icons go giant!"

Me;
I said, "Can you elaborate?"

Dense Exec;
"No, because my icons are giant I can't get to the little bar thing,
It’s hidden at the bottom!"

Me;
"Um...What CD is it?"

Dense Exec;
"Hold on, it's not in the Laptop! Oh dammit, I've left it in the car!"

Me;
"About your Icons, have you checked 'my computer?'

Dense Exec;
"How can I? I haven't even seen your computer!"
"Oh right, I think I know now what you mean!"

Me;
"Go to display, and set your monitor settings to 1280 x...etc"

Thumping noise...

Dense Exec;
"Damn, I dropped the bloody thing...but I think the Icons are o.K.
Now...about that CD, I think it caused this trouble in the first
Place..."

Me;
"I recall you said it wasn't in the PC?"

Dense Exec;
"Yeah...but can't I get a refund or something for all my trouble?"

His trouble?

Me;
"Fraid not, since our product wasn't near your system, we do have responsibility..."

In other words, Executive, yer a spaz.

Dense Exec;
"Oh well, no need for further action, eh!"

Apart from your lobotomy, no.

And these guys actually run companies?

 

[Daaraa]

Got a few stories.

Working as a security person at a college, we responded to someone calling from the dorms that someone else was going to "blow them all up" and then they hung up. The guy I was with was in the ROTC and really took his job to a whole new level.
We went to the dorm and were directed upstairs to the third floor. There was a kid int he middle of the hall shaking a sealed pop bottle of water and dry ice. It hadn't exploded and this was what was frustrating him. People were watching him from either side of the hall trying to tell him to let go of it. He saw us and started walking away from us down to the other stiarway. We didn't want to run at him in case he threw it at us. We were just getting 6 bucks an hour. He got to the other side and in front of the stairwell wanted to know what we wanted.
The following is the dialogue.
The guy I was with said "Just put the bomb down."
"Bomb? What bomb?"
"The one in your hand."
"I don't have a bomb in my hand. I just have a bottle someone told me did a neat trick."
"It really is a bomb."
"You guys just want to get it from me. You're not going to get it until I get it to work." He started shaking it again.
I started backing away telling the people who had followed us to get back. The guy I was with ran at him to get the dry ice bomb.
So the kid threw it down the stairwell.
Halfway down it exploded with quite an echoing boom.
The kid gets up. Thanks us for the help and still doesn't think anything wrong happened.
Seems funny to me.

Another one is when I was a manager on a cherry orchard and all the Mexicans were there picking cherries.
A suburban pulls up and out jump 4 big guys who wanted to invest in the orchard. (This happend a lot)
The Mexicans saw this and they all ran screaming "La Migra" which is a slang term for Immigration.
My father in law was on a slope over-looking the orchard and said he saw all the pickers running out of the orchard. There were over 100 of them.
We didn't get any more picking done that day.

Another one was when my father-in-law was at the wheel of a tractor and fell asleep at the wheel and drove at top speed (20 mph) into the canal. Kind of scary but funny afterwards.

Another one was same job I had to tell the pickers to pick with more stems on the cherries. I went around doing this all day. The last picker who spoke a little english asked me why I had been telling people to pick with thier lips. Toupos and Troupos

PS - BlueMonday I know a guy who works at UPS in Salt Lake named John Christiensen (sp?) He's my brother in law. Heard of him?

 

[BlueMonday]

Originally posted by Daaraa
...Another one is when I was a manager on a cherry orchard and all the Mexicans were there picking cherries.
A suburban pulls up and out jump 4 big guys who wanted to invest in the orchard. (This happend a lot)
The Mexicans saw this and they all ran screaming "La Migra" which is a slang term for Immigration.
My father in law was on a slope over-looking the orchard and said he saw all the pickers running out of the orchard. There were over 100 of them...

...PS - BlueMonday I know a guy who works at UPS in Salt Lake named John Christiensen (sp?) He's my brother in law. Heard of him?

We used to have the same problem when I worked as a prep chef at Bombara. All the kitchen help were always looking out for the INS. Occcasionally someone would panic and we'd have to find new kitchen staff. Those days always sucked ass cause me and everyone else (with the exception of the exec. chef) had to do all the sh!tty sh!tty sh!tty jobs.

Anyway, is John part of the Human Resources department? I remembering interviewing with a John, but I can't remember his last name. If he's just one of us unionized hourly employees there is very little chance I know him. There's about a thousand of us out there and I only bother to get to know the ten or so on my belt.

 

[Daaraa]

John is about 24 yrs old and I just know that he works like at 3am or something like that.
He's my brother in law. I doubt UPS has human resource people working at 3am.
He really liked the UPS and FedEx crash picture on the Humour and Jokes section. You might like it.

Here's the link
http://forums.civfanatics.com/showthread.php?s=&threadid=10065&perpage=20&pagenumber=7

It's about 3/4 of the way down the page.

 

[BlueMonday]

Originally posted by Daaraa
...I doubt UPS has human resource people working at 3am.
He really liked the UPS and FedEx crash picture on the Humour and Jokes section. You might like it.

Actually, we do have HR people working at three in the morning. UPS is an around the clock operation; the only exception being the customer service reps dealing with walk-in customers (well, and those lousy execs -unless they're inspecting the midnight sort).

Great picture BTW. I think I'll print that one off and post it on the bulletin boards around the hub.

 

[duke o' york]

I was going to let this go, but then I thought of something I saw hereabouts once:

Originally posted by CurtSibling
Ah,
You English are always such good ambassadors for the rest
of the the UK, you silly louts!

Alas, look what I noticed on my travels:

Originally posted by that naughty puddytat in the International Forum thread on Site Feedback:
I'm Scottish as well...don't forget little me!

Ho ho ho..... you Jocks will never cease to amuse me!