Funny things heard in class

[Wyrmshadow]

I'd like to start this thread so that those of us still in school, be it university or primary, to post funny things they have heard their teacher's or classmates say while in class. This is not a gossip thread but I'd like to see broad statements like what one of my history profs said this summer:

"If you're not a part of the nuclear family, there is something vaguely communist about you."

or

"Reagon preached about smaller government but when we elected him he spent money faster than a drunked sailor" yeah this last one isnt too funny.

In high school I had an english teacher that was a big fan of puns, and we also had a number of vietnamese students, one of whom was named Vu. This teacher waited 3 years for Vu to do or say something twice in one day just so he could have the opportunity to say "Wow, that must be like Deja Vu"

 

[Knight-Dragon]

Moved to Humor...

 

[Sims2789]

my 60-year old teacher said "you've got 'ta get to school, a'ite. i'm sick of seein' ya'll come in late. you feelin' me, bro?" when one of my friends showed up late.

 

[Japanrocks12]

My history teacher once said "Kongo Kingdom"

"Kingo Kondom"


Man was he embarrased!

 

[Perfection]

Today one of my teachers proclaimed her love of craig kilbourne.

It was disgusting.

 

[Japanrocks12]

Originally posted by Perfection
Today one of my teachers proclaimed her love of craig kilbourne.

It was disgusting.

yes indeed

 

[Quasar1011]

Every day in Civics class back in 1975, elderly Mrs. Pugh (yes that was her name) was unable to hear the newfangled alarm on the watch of Eddie Martinez. Every day his watch would beep at 10 a.m., the class would laugh, and she would wonder why. She just never heard it.

One stormy day, since I sat near the window, I cupped my hands and blew into them, simulating the sound of the wind. That, she heard. "My, listen to the wind!" she said. Just then, the alarm on Eddie's watch went off. She heard it for the first time, and exclaimed, "What is that noise?" In his best Mexican accent, Eddie shouted, "It's the tornado warning on my watch, Mrs. Pugh!" Mrs. Pugh said, "Oh my God, students get under your desks! Hurry!"

Of course the whole class was in stitches...

 

[Turner]

I had a very dry American Gov't teacher in HS that told a joke and no one knew it for a good five minutes. . . And he thought we were slow. . . .

 

[Captain Carnage]

Blonde girl talking to me :

"you're so smart (<--sarcasm), you should be a philosophiser!"

 

[Sims2789]

my sister's 9th Grade Spanish Teacher whispered, "your dad is Dave Mathews" in Spanish to my sister.

 

[Mescalhead]

Originally posted by sims2789
my sister's 9th Grade Spanish Teacher whispered, "your dad is Dave Mathews" in Spanish to my sister.

What?!

 

[Aphex_Twin]

Some of those than can be translated.

Physics
"As you see, you see nothing. Why can't you see? You will see right away."

Math
"You are 25 idiots, I am only one."

Tech (What would that fate worse than death be?) :
"Pay attention, students, we can get into a severe accident, you can die, or worse !".

 

[polymath]

When I was 15 or so, a friend and I were messing around, throwing a used coke can about one of the rooms at high speed. A teacher came in and said to me "Why don't you just grow up?"
I said "I can't! I'm Peter Pan!"

 

[Matrix]

A class mate was leaning lazy against a closet.
Teacher Dutch: "You're leaning there as if you're ready to order a beer."

Geography. Student is pointing at the map about vegetation, asking: "Why is it so empty on that part of the map?"
Teacher: "Because it is known that trees don't grow well in the ocean."

Teacher religion: "...mister Zeus..."

Student deducing the tenses of a verb: "3rd person singular masculine."

For the cognoscents among us:
(Same) student decucing Greek noun: "...ablative..."

Teacher French: "There are now fences on the edges of the Eiffel Tower because of all the suicide attempts. Eh, 'attempts', it always worked of course..."

Teacher English: "Try to pronounce that word, you'll spit the wall full."

Teacher English wanting to question a talking student: "X, if I may interrupt you..."

Teacher German: "So because your neighbour is sick you three thought 'why don't we clot together'?"

 

[Matrix]

This one is subtle, try to imagine it.
Student (almost hysterical): "BLOOD!"
Teacher math (composed): "Quiet please..."
Nothing was the matter of course.

 

[CivCube]

Overheard student: "They can't fail me! I may have been gone for five months, but I was excused!"

 

[Aphex_Twin]

Funny how some teacher try to explain something they themselves don't know. Like my Philosophy teacher who tried to convince me that with increased speed there is decreased relative mass, and that light is atracted by gravity (the blackboard diagram she just drew had a different opinion)...

The English teacher thought the laser was a form of energy you get from crystals, and that's why she wore one on her neck.

My current Logic teacher keeps yabbing about psychic energies and parapsychology

 

[polymath]

My Religious Education teacher:
"...so the thing is that anyone can become enlightened enough to be a Buddha..."
I'm (age 11) sitting at the desk right in front of him, and start acting very smug, examining my nails, brushing my lapels in expectation of imminent Buddha-hood etc.
"..except for you..." he continues. Bah!

 

[philippe]

kid in my class:if i squeese in your breasts will there be milk koming out of it?
(we where in the class english with a hot teachtster

 

[Smaasnekje]

A guy said to another person sitting on his place

"Move it granny! Or I'm gonna spank you"

(Not so funny when it's all in english)