God's Telephone Answerer

[Håkon]

You tried to be in touch with God?? Well, better forget it, 'cos now he's got a telephone answerer. Listen:
Hi, thou have now arrived at God's telephone answerer from Heaven. He is not in the office at the time. Art thou using a very old telephone, or wish to talk with somebody, please hold, and an angel will arrive in approximately one eternity.
Hath thou got a telephone with keys, please choose one of the following:
Doth thou wish to leave a voice-mail for God, Jesus, Mary or the Holy Spirit, press 1.
If thou wisheth to know where thou can find Us or anybody in our mission on Earth, press 2.
Doth thou wish to take part in our eternity-chat, or want a bet, press 3.
Doth thou wish to know the meaning of life, press 4.
Doth thou wish to know the probability of thou or some of thine relatives is placed in Heaven, press 5.
Doth thou need help with a near dead or out-of-thy-body experience, press 6.

(I translated this from Norwegian, so please excuse any bad spellings)


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<IMG SRC="http://www.vg.no/vg/sport/fotball/elfot96/sbodo.gif" border=0>
forever!!

[This message has been edited by Håkon (edited April 27, 2001).]

 

[Fishheads]

i got your meaning of life right here!!!
http://www.dictionary.com/cgi-bin/dict.pl?term=life

:_)

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@
@@Nuclear Msl.
Perhaps it's time for a nice %STRING0

 

[stormerne]

"... If thou dost want My opinion of George Dubya or the rest of American politics, hang up now and listen for the distant rumble of laughter ..."

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<IMG SRC="http://www.anglo-saxon.demon.co.uk/stormerne/stormerne.gif" border=0>

 

[xeven_god_of_helsibahr]

Hey, STORMERNE: [/b]**** YOU AND THE HORSE YOU RODE IN ON. YOU CAN JUST BITE MY BIG, FAT, HAIRY, AMERICAN ASS CHEAK.

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That's the way it is with war. You win or lose, live or die--and the difference is just an eyelash.

 

[Fishheads]

why am i not suprised on that response

typical

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@
@@Nuclear Msl.
Perhaps it's time for a nice %STRING0

 

[stellar converter]

If thou dost want my opinion on the heathen socialist and communist countries, then i shall not give it to thee, for they are stupid countries, and i despise them. look for them in revelations where it talks about the mother of all whores. COMMUNIST COUNTRIES SUCK(thats you too, east anglia and norway). oh, and i knowest that thou havest another window open on thy computer screen. with the naked ladies. verily, i say unto thee, hit the X button at the top right corner, or i shall destroy thee with a curse!

 

[Fishheads]

first off this is a humor and jokes forum

what stormerne said is a JOKE

*hint hint* HUMOUR AND JOKE FORUM

what xeven_god_of_helsibahr said is NOT funny.. your insulting him and making a great big flame post

and you stellar converter, you call your self a moderator!!!!!????? youre the best damned ****** moderator around! i don't quiet get what your saying but insulting stormerne country "COMMUNIST COUNTRIES SUCK(thats you too, east anglia and norway). " is not exactly FUNNY, or in no way ment as a joke

(and sense when were they communist countries? maybe you need to get your facts stright to before you go instulting someone's country, and no stormerne was not instulting USA, *HINT HINT* HUMOR AND JOKE FORUM

the map for americans is more insulting than what stormerne if your going to take it THAT way

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@
@@Nuclear Msl.
Perhaps it's time for a nice %STRING0

(my edit was to clarify something

...im just kiddint, dont call me bad things)

[This message has been edited by stellar converter (edited May 08, 2001).]

 

[CornMaster]

Hey guys!!!!

Cut it out. It's a Joke Forum.

A Joke!!!! No need to insult each other!!!



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<IMG SRC="http://images.honesty.com/imagedata/h/207/85/32078598.gif" border=0> I AM CANADIAN! <IMG SRC="http://images.honesty.com/imagedata/h/207/85/32078598.gif" border=0>
CivFanatics Moderator and Tech Support
CivFanatics Civ 2 Ladder
My Civ 2 Scenario Page.

 

[stellar converter]

ok, sorry. everyone be nice.

 

[xeven_god_of_helsibahr]

"... If thou dost want My opinion of Elizebeth II or the rest of English politics, hang up now and look to the east for a giant mushroom cloud..."

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That's the way it is with war. You win or lose, live or die--and the difference is just an eyelash.

 

[stormerne]

Why thank you xeven_god_of_helsibahr and stellar converter for brightening my day with your humour. I assume that your comments were humorous since I can't believe that such august bastions of talent as yourselves would descend to puerility. My American wife will be delighted at your advertisement for native U.S. wit. May your god inspire you to even greater achievements!

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<IMG SRC="http://www.anglo-saxon.demon.co.uk/stormerne/stormerne.gif" border=0>

 

[stellar converter]

originally posted by cornmaster:
Hey guys!!!!
Cut it out. It's a Joke Forum.

A Joke!!!! No need to insult each other!!!

look out, stormerne, or i lower your chess rating!!!

me and you have to play some time, i forget if i played you

. or are you the one i forfeited the game to in the middle?

 

[GenghisK]

Heheh, I think somewhere lies an unfinished chess game, but not against Stormerne

Who the hell can be foolish enough to be your opponent?

BTW, I don't understand old-style English

Took me a while to decode that thread.

Anyway, as I said, my american map was for fun, Fish.

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Genghis K.

 

[stellar converter]

its not oldstyle, its just purer form of english

if it was old english, i couldnt understand it! there are examples of it in timeline