There are players out there who just can't control their ego's.
If your looking for an unbiased response to your question I suggest you listen to Islandia. He is correct in saying you have to be well rounded to compete. Population is definitely important. You cant hope to keep up if you only focus on science. Production is much more important. For example: even if a player is 10% up in tech if you have more production you can easily run over him with military. Ask eml joe
Well to be honest clicking quickly is more of an issue in civilization 4, then in 5. I have been playing a fair amount of civilization 5 games on steam with skype on and I can confirm that waiting your opponents moves is just as good of a tactic as attacking first. Once your opponent has moved, its much easier to focus your fire on them. They are also a lot easier to outsmart then, because they won't have any surprises left. Ofcourse some units benefit more from this then others, but clicking doesn't really help at all.
Unless there are some sort of trick that I don't know about.
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