Governments and Cows

[Princeps]

Pure Communism: You own two cows. Your neighbour helps to take cear of them and you share all the milk together, so nobody gets enough milk.

Soviet communism: You own two cows. You have to take care of both cows, but the government takes all the milk.

Kamputsean communism: You own two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

Democracy: You own two cows. Your neighbours decides, who will get all the milk.

Republic: You own two cows. Your Neighbours decides, who will decide who will get all the milk...

Fascism: You own two cows. The government takes them both. You'll be drafted.

Imperialism: You have two cows, you sell them both to your neighbour, at night you steal your neighbours four cows and you sell the milk to him.

Theocracy: You have two cows. You don't have any time to milk them, becouse government forces you to pray.

Fundamentalism: You have two cows. They escape to your neighbours stables and treathen to kill all the horses if they don't start to act like cows.

 

[thetrooper]

Fascism: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them, and sells you the milk.

 

[Princeps]

Oh I forgot.. you see i took these form a book and i lost it.

 

[thetrooper]

There are certainly other versions too

 

[Betrayed]

Err.... Hasn't this thread been here before?
I have kinda deja vu about this...

 

[Princeps]

Pure Socialism: You own two cows. The government takes both of them and puts them to the same cowshed were all the other cows from your village are housed in. You have to milk all the cows. The government gives you all the milk that you need to stay alive.

UN and NATO: You have two cows. When you milk them you squeeze to hard.
Your neighbours hurry to help the cows and they start guarding the cows with blue helmets on their heads. When you start to milk the cows behind your barn... NATO destoroys your house, your car and your barn with a cruise missile and NATO also blows up your neighbours barn, becouse CIA used old maps.

 

[Princeps]

Err.... Hasn't this thread been here before?
I have kinda deja vu about this...

I don't know... I just found this HUMOR AND JOKES place

 

[~Corsair#01~]

DEMOCRAT
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
You feel guilty for being successful.
You vote people into office that put a tax on your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise money to pay the tax.
The people you voted for then take the tax money, buy a cow and give it to your neighbor.
You feel righteous.
Barbara Streisand sings for you.

SOCIALIST
You have two cows.
The government takes one and gives it to your neighbor.
You form a cooperative to tell him how to manage his cow.

REPUBLICAN
You have two cows.
Your neighbor has none.
So?

COMMUNIST
You have two cows.
The government seizes both and provides you with milk.
You wait in line for hours to get it.
It is expensive and sour.

CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
You sell one, buy a bull, and build a herd of cows.

DEMOCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government taxes you to the point you have to sell both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was a gift from your government.

BUREAUCRACY, AMERICAN STYLE
You have two cows.
The government takes them both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, and then pours the milk down the drain.

AMERICAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You sell one, lease it back to yourself and do an IPO on the 2nd one.
You force the two cows to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when one cow drops dead.
You spin an announcement to the analysts stating you have downsized and are reducing expenses.
Your stock goes up.

FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike because you want three cows.
You go to lunch.
Life is good.

JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk.
They learn to travel on unbelievably crowded trains.
Most are at the top of their class at cow school.

GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You engineer them so they are all blond, drink lots of beer, give excellent quality milk, and run a hundred miles an hour.
Unfortunately they also demand 13 weeks of vacation per year.

ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows but you don't know where they are.
While ambling around, you see a beautiful woman.
You break for lunch.
Life is good.

RUSSIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have some vodka.
You count them and learn you have five cows.
You have some more vodka.
You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
The Mafia shows up and takes over however many cows you really have.

TALIBAN CORPORATION
You have all the cows in Afghanistan, which are two.
You don't milk them because you cannot touch any creature's private parts.
Then you kill them and claim a US bomb blew them up while they were in the hospital.

POLISH CORPORATION
You have two bulls.
Employees are regularly maimed and killed attempting to milk them.

FLORIDA CORPORATION
You have a black cow and a brown cow.
Everyone votes for the best looking one.
Some of the people who like the brown one best, vote for the black one.
Some people vote for both.
Some people vote for neither.
Some people can't figure out how to vote at all.
Finally, a bunch of guys from out-of-state tell you which is the best-looking cow.

NEW YORK CORPORATION
You have fifteen million cows.
You have to choose which one will be the leader of the herd, so you pick some fat cow from Arkansas.