Great Putdowns/Blackadder Lines

[Simon Darkshade]

"Percy, far from being a fit consort for a Prince of the Realm, you would bore the leggings off a village idiot. You ride a horse rather less well than another horse would, your brain would make a grain of sand look large and ungainly and the part of you that can't be mentioned, I am reliably informed by women around the court, wouldn't be worth mentioning even if it could be. If you put on a floppy hat and a furry cod-piece you might just get by as a fool, but, since you wouldn't know a joke if it got up and gave you a hair-cut, I doubt it."

 

[TheDuckOfFlanders]

Oh i never noticed this thread before.
Blackadder was a great show ,especially the world war one series.The best acting performance of Rowin Atkinson ever.So magnificly sarcastic ,a pitty that it is so long time ago i have last seen it (and that my mother taped over my blackadder video tapes with episodes of days of our lives )

I would kill to see that show again.

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Excellent. Another victim, I'm sorry, Blackadder fan.

Blackadder on:

Acting: I'd rather have my tongue beaten wafer thin with a steak-tenderizer and then stapled to the floor with a croquet hoop.

Baldrick: Your brain's so minute, Baldrick, that if a hungry cannibal cracked your head open, there wouldn't be enough to cover a small water biscuit

The French: We hate the French! We fight wars against them! Did all those men die in vain on the field of Agincourt? Was the man who burnt Joan of Arc simply wasting good matches?

Prince George: He's got a brain the size of a weasel's wedding tackle....A master with all the intellect of a jugged walrus and all the social graces of a potty.

Will add more when have more time.

 

[Lefty Scaevola]

Originally posted by TheDuckOfFlanders
(and that my mother taped over my blackadder video tapes with episodes of days of our lives )
I would kill to see that show again.

Well, that merits spending her goldens years in Scrooge and Marley's Retiremnt Home & Workhouse.

 

[TheDuckOfFlanders]

"As the good Lord says, love thy fellow man as you love yourself, unless they are Turks, then kill the bastards".
- King Richard IV, leaving for a Crusade, BA1

EB: "Trial by water ?"
WS: "No, trial by axe ?"
EB: "By, er axe."
WS: "Yes, by axe. The accused head is placed on a choping block with an axe aimed at it. If the axe bounces off, the accused is guilty and is burnt at the stake."
EB: "And if he is innocent?"
WS: "The axe simply CUT HIS HEAD OFF !"
EB: "How very fair!"

George: "I've just had another brilliant idea."
Edmund: "Another one ?"
George: "Yes, you remember the one I had about wearing underpants on the outside to save on laundry bills."

George: "Tell me about these oppressed masses. What's got them so worked up ?"
EB: "They're upset, sir, because they are so poor that they are
forced to have children merely to provide a cheap alternative to turkey at Christmas."

EB: "Baldric, why do you have a piece of cheese tied to your nose?
B: "To catch mice, my lord. I lie on the ground with my mouth open and hope they scurry in."
EB: "Do they?"
B: "Not yet, my lord."
EB: "I am not surprised. Your breath comes straight from Satan's bottom."
Later, Baldric walks in with a dead mouse tied to his nose]

 

[xane]

My favourite:

Nursie: Oh, that's another good idea. You're so clever today, you better be careful your foot doesn't fall off.

Queen: Does that happen when you have lots of brilliant ideas? Your foot falls off?

Nursie: It certainly does. My brother; he had this brilliant idea of cutting his toenails with a scythe, and _his_ foot fell off...

(Blackadder II, Episode 5 "Beer")

 

[Blackadder]

I find it amazing there are so many Blackadder fans and yet I only joined recently and have been able to STEAL THE NAME. I guess its only a matter of time now till someone calls himself Baldrick.

 

[Dell19]

Not really. Most people pick a name that is related to themselves and so there is only a small chance that anyone would actually pick Blackadder and that chance would be you.

 

[Blackadder]

So would that be the Dell part or the 19?

And whats more, I have a friend whose codename is 'Suppersalmon'. (He pronounces it super-samon), so what would he be? Perhaps I'm not a small part?

 

[Dell19]

My name was random...There was a thread about how people got their names in OT a while back. I got mine because my friends said my computer was made by Dell boy (don't ask), because they are stupid and the 19 came because on the zone, Dell had already been taken. 19 is my house number. I was merely pointing out that it isn't that weird that no one had already taken your name because they have probably got different names that they prefer...

 

[Suppersalmon]

Watch out ta super hero coming through yes its me suppersalmon [punch] i like blackdder especialy the christmas carol version

 

[cat98]

If someone is annoying you, just say (loudly,no shouting, but loudly, preferably within earshot of a great number of people) At least I wasnt arrested for indecent exposure!

:midfinger / :suicide:

 

[Simon Darkshade]

Not quite Blackadder, and probably funny to seventh graders, but I'll pay that as an alright putdown. Along similar lines:

A young teenage girl is sitting in a restaurant with a slightly older boy, and is finding it hard to get her own way, or to get a word in. She finally comes up with this little gem
"You were a lot nicer to me on the Internet" (said so whole room can hear it)