I just found these online. They'll probably get the thread moved to humor, but here goes.
1. On Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.(Gee, that's the only time I have to work on my hair!)
2. On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase nesessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special!)
3. On a bar of Dove soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.(and that would be how?)
4. On some Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost.(But it's *just* a suggestion!)
5. On a hotel provided shower cap in a box: Fits one head.
6. On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on box bottom): Do not turn upside down. (Too late! You lose!)
7. On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.(Are you sure???)
8. On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.(But wouldn't that save more time?) (And whose body?)
9. On Boot's Children's cough medicine: Do not drive car or operate machinery.(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
10. On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: may cause drowsiness.(One would hope!)
11. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: For indoor or outdoor use only. (As opposed to???)
12. On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use.(Hmm, now I'm curious.)
13. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: Instructions: open packet,eat nuts. (have lobotomy)(I thought these were the instructions for Trojans?)
14. On a child's Superman costume: Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly. (That's right, destroy a universal childhood fantasy!)
