How to tell if you are Chinese

[Uiler]

http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/6174/102chinese.htm

102 Ways to Tell if You are Chinese
You love to go to $1.75 movies.


You love to go to $1.50 movies even more!


You don't order sweet and sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a chinese restaurant.


You have a pager, even though you don't really need it.


You have a really nice pager, with an alphanumeric display.


You have a cellular phone, even though you don't really need it.


You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.


You drive a Honda.


You have custom rims on your Honda.


You have a chinese knick-knack hanging on your rearview mirror.


You like to eat chicken feet.


You suck on fish heads and fish fins.


You turn bright red after drinking 2 tablespoons of beer.


You can get a buzz on Coors Cutter, O'douls, or Miller Sharps.


You look like you are 18.


You always look up at women, if you are male.


You always look up at chinese men, if you are female.


You live at your parents house, and you are not claimed as a dependent by them.


You only buy used cars.


You have more than 5 remote controls in your TV room.


You sing Karaoke.


You have a custom stereo in your Honda with the custom rims.


You entire house is covered with tile.


You have those plastic walkways covering your hallway and other heavy foot traffic areas.


You own a gun if you are male.


You have plastic or some other kind of cover on your furniture.


You leave the plastic on your lampshade for 10 years or more.


You eat family dinners with the TV on.


You love watching Connie Chung.


You have an incredible amount of clutter in your house.


You can't bear to throw away things.


You are an engineer.


Your dad washes his hair 4 times a year.


You hate getting B's.


Your house smells like preserved fish.


Your house smells like chinese medicine.


You have about 12-20 uncles and aunts.


You've never kissed your mom or dad.


You've never hugged your mom or dad.


Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.


You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".


You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.


You had a bowl cut before.


You go to yard sales often.


If you lose a dollar, you dwell upon it for more then 5 mintues.


Your parents own a restaurant or grocery store.


You love to "buck" the system.


If you are overcharged you scream bloody murder, but if you are undercharged, you go your merry way.


Your hair sticks up when you wake up.


You get a rush from getting a good deal.


You'll make ridiculous offers when bargaining. ("I'll give you $5 for that car")


You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.


You love to use coupons.


You drive around looking for the cheapest gas.


You add twice the recommended amount of water when making orange juice from concentrate.


You'll squeeze a toothpaste tube down to paper thin.


You take showers at night.


You'll drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.


You'll learn about sex from someone other then your parents.


You'll be convinced your parents had sex as many times as required to produce you and your siblings.


You've never seen your parents kiss.


You've never seen your parents hug.


Your grandmother lives with you and your family.


Your Honda has been "lowered".


You never buy stuff from the concession stands at the movies.


You tip 15% or less.


You never order dessert at restaurants.


You always have water only when dining out.


You refuse to use the valet.


You try not to use the bellhop, for fear of tipping.


You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.


You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.


You want your dollar back from the friend who borrowed it right away.


You get the runs when you drink lots of milk.


Most girls have more body hair than you if you are male.


You have a great love for cameras.


Sanrio means a lot to you if you are female.


Your fridge stinks.


Your parents don't want you to move out when you turn 18.


Your parents want to live with you when they are old.


You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.


You point to your nose when referring to yourself.


You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.


You lie about your kids' ages when going to a movie or amusement park.


You lie about your age to get a senior citizen's discount.


You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable.


You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.


You love to play Mahjong.


You want to marry Chinese.


You have to read all your parents' mail written in english.


You have to make phone calls for your parents to english speakers.


Your parents ask you if you are home when you come home. ("Faan nei lah?")


You get a knuckle in your skull if you are being punished by your parents.


You are constantly being set up with uninteresting people by your parents.


You always hear about how great so-and-so's son or daughter is.


Your Honda has the "boom".


Your parents wish you would give 30% of your income to them.


Your childhood is filled with painful memories of the long feather duster ("Guy Mo So")


You can use the words "*****" and "chinaman" with impunity.


Your clothes smell like fried foods.


You talk at the top of your voice at all occasions.


You hate eating cheese.

I am Chinese and lists like this make me giggle because a lot of these things are true. Not sure about the gun thing though...Things missing on this list that I've seen on other lists is:

You use dollies as living room decorations (yes! My parents do this!)
You keep the plastic on the lampshade for 10 years (yes! My parents do this!)

It wasn't just a feather duster for me. It was also the handle end of the fly-swatter. Also my grandma especially sought out and found a nice supple thin branch. Ouch.

I'd like to add several other things to the lists:

You never drink water unless it's been boiled. It doesn't matter if you live in Australia, the UK, America, Canada etc. you can't trust that water unless it's been boiled.

Your mother, your relatives and all their female friends suddenly develop an interest in gardening (flowers and Chinese vegetables) and cooking Chinese delicacies when they hit late middle-age. They will never have shown any interest in these things before.

Gambling is considered a fun family past-time for all ages. When you're 5 years old it is card games. Choosing numbers for the lottery is a family past-time. When you get old enough it's fun filled family trips to the casino/horse races.

Your mother/wife tries to force "health soups" that take hours to cook down your throat at every opportunity. It's a sign of love! Well, actually most of them actually taste good, but some are pretty disgusting. The sicker you are the worse they taste.

When your mother hits the streets in trips to HK/China/Chinatown there's a search for (a) dried mushrooms, (b) abalone, (c) dried scallops, (d) Chinese medicine, (e) statues/wallscrolls/hangings esp. of gods, esp. of the Goddess of Mercy and Compassion. They will buy so much that they will have to post it back home because it won't fit into the suitcase.

 

[The Last Conformist]

Zompist has got a wealth of similar test for various nationalities:
http://www.zompist.com/amercult.html

 

[kingjoshi]

A lot of the cheap 'culture' can be applied to Desis as well. And the whole, "I've never seen my parents hold hands" things as well.

You drive a Honda.

I have a Chinese friend who bought a Kia because he HATES all sorts Japanese. Though if it's cheap and he can sell it for good value, he'll make an exception

 

[Uiler]

A lot of the cheap 'culture' can be applied to Desis as well. And the whole, "I've never seen my parents hold hands" things as well.


I have a Chinese friend who bought a Kia because he HATES all sorts Japanese. Though if it's cheap and he can sell it for good value, he'll make an exception

What are Desis?

 

[kingjoshi]

What are Desis?

Desis are people from Southeast Asia (India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Bangladesh, Bhutan)

You know you're a desi when.....

1. You unwrap Christmas gifts very carefully, so you can save and reuse the wrapping next year.
2. You only buy Christmas cards after Christmas, when they are 50% off.
3. When there is a sale on toilet paper, you buy 100 rolls and store them in your closet or in the bedroom of an adult child who has moved out.
4. You have a vinyl table cloth on your kitchen table.
5. Your stove is covered with aluminum foil
6. Your kitchen has a sticky film of grease over it.
7. You use the dishwasher as a dish rack.
8. You have never used your dishwasher.
9. You eat all meals in the kitchen.
10. You save grocery bags, tin foil, and tin containers.
11. You use grocery bags to hold garbage.
12. You always leave your shoes at the door.
13. You hate to waste food.
14. Even if you're totally full, if someone says they're going to throw away the leftovers on the table, you'll finish them.
15. You have tupperware in your fridge with three bites of rice or one leftover chicken wing.
16. You don't own any real tupperware -- only a cupboard full of used, but carefully rinsed, margarine tubs, takeout containers, and jam jars.
17. You have a collection of minature shampoo bottles that you take every time you stay in a hotel.
18. The condiments in your fridge are either Price-Club/Sam's sized or come in plastic packets, which you save/steal every time you get take-out or go to McDonalds.
19. Ditto paper napkins.
20. You never order room service.
21. You carry a stash of your own food whenever you travel (and travel means any car ride longer than 15 minutes).
22. You own a rice cooker or a pressure cooker.
23. You wash your rice at least 2-3 times before cooking it.
24. You fight over who pays the dinner bill.
25. You majored in engineering, medicine or law.
26. When you go to a dance party, there are a wall of guys surrounding the dance floor trying to look cool.
27. You live with your parents and you are 30 years old. (And they prefer it that way).
28. If you're married and 30 years old, you live in the apartment next door to your parents, or at least in the same neighborhood.
29. You don't use measuring cups.
30. You feel like you've gotten a good deal if you didn't pay tax.
31. Your parents' house is always cold.
32. You reuse teabags.
33. You have a drawer full of old pens, most of which don't write anymore.
34. You always look phone numbers up in the phone book, since calling Information costs 50 cents.
35. You like your meat well done.
36. If you don't live at home, when your parents call, they ask if you've eaten, even if it's midnight.
37. Your parents never go to the movies.
38. Your parents send money to their relatives in foreign countries.
39. Your parents use a clothes line.
40. You know someone who you think can get you a good deal on jewelry or electronics.
41. You never discuss your love life or sex with your parents.
42. Your parents are never happy with your grades.
43. You save your old coke bottle glasses even though you're never going to use them again.
44. You keep used batteries.
45. You keep most of your money in a savings account.
46. You call an older person you never met before "uncle."
47. The first thing uncle asks you is "where are your parents from?"
48. When your parents meet strangers and talk for a few minutes, you discover you're talking to a distant cousin.
49. You've been asked if you are a Hindi, or if you speak Hindu.
50. Your parents buy Sears/Montgomery Ward appliances believing they are the best.
51. No one you're related to is a music major.
52. You avoid motels, especially if there is an aquaintance within a 250 mile radius of your destination.
53. You sleep on their floor.
54. When you type, you put a space between the last word in a sentence and the terminating punctuation mark !
55. Your parents don't realize phone connections to foreign countries have improved in the last two decades, and still scream at the top of their lungs.
56. When our fathers get together, no matter what the topic is, each man is an expert.
57. You have a box of tissue or a towel in your car.
58. You grow your own vegetables.
59. You can't park your car in the garage, because you never throw anything away and keep it there (just in case you need it).
60. You trust only foreign cars (accord or camry, metallic green).
61. You drive 2 hours and spend a whole day to get a complementary cutlery set for listening to a sales pitch on vacation timeshares.
62. You cook in bulk.
63. You have bedsheets on your sofas.
64. When dining out, your parents think $1 is enough of a tip.
65. You recycle Christmas/Birthday gifts.
66. You head to the clearance rack as soon as you walk into a store.
67. You buy clothes from K-mart and put it in a recycled gift box from Macy's before giving it.
68. Your favorite brandname is "IRREGULAR".
69. The few silverware you have is mismatched and plastic.
70. You frequently get honked at by those stupid American drivers who think they know how to drive.
71. You know someone who owns a motel or a convenience store.
72. It's embarrassing if your wedding has less than 600 people.
73. You think an Indian businessman will give you a better deal because he's Indian.
74. You spew forth the virtues of India, but don't want to live there.
75. Your list your daughter as "fair and slim" in the matrimonials no matter what she looks like.
76. Your dad thinks it's perfectly OK to hawk and spit out a loogey on the sidewalk.
77. You use Vicks Vaporub.
78. The video tapes you rent are 10th generation copies and have scrolling commercials in the middle of the movie.
79. You've seen the ground while inside the lavatory of a train.
80. You've had to swerve around animals grazing on the road.
81. You've been in a bus where half the people riding are outside the bus.
82. All your tupperware is stained with food color.
83. You have drinking glasses made of steel, the rim of which can cut your mouth if you're not careful.
84. Experiencing 20 power blackouts in a single day doesn't faze you.
85. You tape Christmas cards on your wall.
86. You have a plastic rug-runner going down your hallway at home.
87. There's a pungent odor of spices as one enters your home.
88. You've never had a tanning salon membership.
89. You call fluorescent lights "tube lights" or a flashlight a "torch."
90. You pronounce "wary" and "very" the same way.
91. You pack a suitcase full of toilet paper when visiting India.
92. You've tied up your luggage with rope to keep it from falling apart.

EDIT: I don't mean to threadjack. I can remove the desi stuff and start a new thread if you want.

 

[Uiler]

Desis are people from Southeast Asia (India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, Nepal, Bangladesh, Bhutan)



EDIT: I don't mean to threadjack. I can remove the desi stuff if you want.

Nah. It's cool. In fact, if anyone wants to post any lists for their nationality feel free! The more the merrier. You're right about a lot of the stuff applying to both Desis and Chinese. A lot of those items on your list I've seen on "You know that you're Chinese" lists word-for-word

My parents go even beyond the lists sometimes. They wash and save gladwrap. We used to have bits of wet gradwrap hanging to dry in the kitchen We got the entire cupboard filled with toilet paper thing going too.

 

[Xenocrates]

How about always speaking in metaphors and thinking in a very complex way.

My wife and business partner are both Chinese and they drive me crazy. Always plotting and working conspiracies, trying to work out the true intentions of a speaker and never expecting that someone is telling the truth.

I'd say that Chinese have a mah jong brain and I have a chess brain. Not sure what it means except that in chess you can see all of the pieces but in mah jong you need to guess from the behaviour of your opponent. Maybe this is why the Chinese are master conspirators?


Is this fair?

PS EXAMPLES:

If my wife doesn't want me to go out she won't just tell me that, she'll start an argument with her mother in the kitchen so I have to hide until it's too late to go out. If she wants me to partner a particular company, she'll give me a load of misinformation and damage my confidence until I have no choice. If she knows that some information is wrong, she won't tell me if she has plans that need me to believe it.

Don't tell me this is unusual, because my business partner is exactly the same!

 

[kingjoshi]

some more Desi stuff. One of them really irk me

- You go to drop off one person to the airport, but you take 50 extra people with you
- You were taught never to talk to strangers at primary school, yet your parents force you to call a complete stranger "Auntie"
- Your remote control is still in its plastic packet
- You studied A’ Level Maths but still think it’s possible to fit 100 people into 1 car
- You wear sunglasses in hail, sleet and snow
- Your mobile phone "just happens to ring" when you see a member of the opposite sex
- You become obsessed with a member of the opposite sex, ring their house everyday, follow them home…and get rejected (you then ask out their best mate)
- You think it’s a sin if you admit you’ve revised before an exam
- At the age of 30, you still think you can get away with paying child fare on the bus
- You find a photo of a man with bushy hair, white shoes and sunglasses…you ask who he is and find out it’s your uncle
- You’re related to your husband/wife even before you’ve married them
- You’re the last person to see your wedding card … and the person you’re getting married to
- You dance at a complete stranger’s wedding (and claim you are a distant relative)
- You achieve A*’s in every subject and your parents tell you to STUDY HARDER
- There is a tub of "PRIDE GHEE" and a sack of "TILDA BASTMATI" in your hallway
- You can’t go to certain places because your Uncle works there
- You think you’re life is just ONE BIG INDIAN FILM
- You are over-dressed for every occasion and seem to take it as a joke when someone calls you "Garry Glitter"
- You hardly ever take prescribed medicines because your parents have their own herbal cures at home
- Unknown "relatives" start ringing your house on the day that your exam results are coming out
- You are unable to open your front door because of the pile of shoes blocking the way
- Your parents have a PANIC ATTACK when something dirty comes on t.v.
- You have 3 hobbies: CHILL, CHILL and CHILL
- You have to offer guests tea even before they’ve stepped into your house
- Girls: Your brother thinks he’s your dad
- Your wedding takes place in either a community centre or a crappy restaurant on Wilmslow Road
- You know how an Indian film will end even before it’s started (but you still watch it)
- You’re related to your doctor
- You go to a wedding with an empty car, but on the way back you end up giving the entire population of the wedding a lift home (and you haven’t seen half of these people in your life)
- You arrive late at every party
- Your dad wears big, tinted-coloured sunglasses from the 60s (don’t even get us started on the yellow shirts)
- Your parents find no criticisms in an Indian film where some guy jumps off a cliff and jumps back up again, people burst into song when their relatives are dying, evil politicians rule the world, and even the police don’t give a crap (and then they wonder why you prefer to watch "Eastenders")
- You get over-excited when you see another Desi person on t.v.
- You lie to your parents about where you’ve been
- You know the name of every Desi person in College/University, and they know your name…but you never let on
- Your parents force you to listen to old Indian/Ghazal songs
- Your auntie always wants you to have a secret relationship with her son/daughter
- You are constantly being compared to every other Desi kid on the Planet
- You never go to the library "to work"
- Guys: you lock your sister up and then go out chilling yourself
- You have cousins that you’ve never even heard of
- At Bollywood superstar concerts you’re more interested in the people in the audience than the actual stars performing the show
- When celebrating a religious festival, you suddenly feel the need to scream and shout, dance on top on restaurants, cars… and even your friend’s shoulders for that matter

 

[FriendlyFire]

Eh I like sweet and sour pork.

 

[Dann]

You love to go to $1.75 movies.

Guilty.

You love to go to $1.50 movies even more!

Yes.

You don't order sweet and sour pork, egg foo young, or chop suey at a chinese restaurant.

But of course.

You have a pager, even though you don't really need it.

No.

You have a really nice pager, with an alphanumeric display.

No.

You have a cellular phone, even though you don't really need it.

Yes.

You hate to spend more than $5 for lunch.

Yes.

You drive a Honda.

No, but a small cheap car nonetheless.

You have custom rims on your Honda.

Hahaha. Yes.

You have a chinese knick-knack hanging on your rearview mirror.

Yes.

You like to eat chicken feet.

Not really.

You suck on fish heads and fish fins.

Yes.

You turn bright red after drinking 2 tablespoons of beer.

No. I can drink quite a lot.

You can get a buzz on Coors Cutter, O'douls, or Miller Sharps.

No. See above.

You look like you are 18.

Yes.

You always look up at women, if you are male.

No.

You always look up at chinese men, if you are female.

Not applicable.

You live at your parents house, and you are not claimed as a dependent by them.

Yes, and 3 of my siblings plus their families.

You only buy used cars.

Of course.

You have more than 5 remote controls in your TV room.

Yes.

You sing Karaoke.

No.

You have a custom stereo in your Honda with the custom rims.

Yes.

You entire house is covered with tile.

Hmm... let's see... granite tiles, vinyl tiles, toilet tiles, wood tiles...My God! You're right!

You have those plastic walkways covering your hallway and other heavy foot traffic areas.

Yes.

You own a gun if you are male.

Yes.

You have plastic or some other kind of cover on your furniture.

Yes. To be removed only when expecting guests.

You leave the plastic on your lampshade for 10 years or more.

You're supposed to remove them?

You eat family dinners with the TV on.

Yes.

You love watching Connie Chung.

Guess so.

You have an incredible amount of clutter in your house.

Oh yes.

You can't bear to throw away things.

Yeah. I wait for the scrap dealer and sell them to him.

You are an engineer.

Close. Architect.

Your dad washes his hair 4 times a year.

Yes.

You hate getting B's.

Oh yes. Definitely.

Your house smells like preserved fish.

No.

Your house smells like chinese medicine.

Yes. Ahh... smell that aroma....

You have about 12-20 uncles and aunts.

Who doesn't?

You've never kissed your mom or dad.

I think I must have when I was a toddler...

You've never hugged your mom or dad.

Same as above.

Your unassisted vision is worse than 20/500.

Yes.

You wear contacts, to avoid wearing your "coke bottle glasses".

Yes.

You've worn glasses since you were in fifth grade.

4th grade.

You had a bowl cut before.

Yes.

You go to yard sales often.

Yes.

If you lose a dollar, you dwell upon it for more then 5 mintues.

30 minutes.

Your parents own a restaurant or grocery store.

A factory.

You love to "buck" the system.

Who doesn't?

If you are overcharged you scream bloody murder, but if you are undercharged, you go your merry way.

Of course.

Your hair sticks up when you wake up.

No. I'm bald.

You get a rush from getting a good deal.

Oh yes. Heeheehee...

You'll make ridiculous offers when bargaining. ("I'll give you $5 for that car")

Yes. And we've been pelted with vegetables by irate vendors just for that.

You'll haggle over something that is not negotiable.

No harm in trying right?

You love to use coupons.

Of course.

You drive around looking for the cheapest gas.

No.

You add twice the recommended amount of water when making orange juice from concentrate.

Yes.

You'll squeeze a toothpaste tube down to paper thin.

Yes.

You take showers at night.

And in the daytime too.

You'll drive around for hours looking for the best parking space.

No. Can't afford to do that here.

You'll learn about sex from someone other then your parents.

But of course.

You'll be convinced your parents had sex as many times as required to produce you and your siblings.

Not really. My parents are cool.

You've never seen your parents kiss.

Hmm... come to think of it, yeah.

You've never seen your parents hug.

I have. But they didn't know I was there.

Your grandmother lives with you and your family.

Yes, used to.

Your Honda has been "lowered".

No. Too cheap to waste money for that.

You never buy stuff from the concession stands at the movies.

Yes. They're bloody overpriced!

You tip 15% or less.

I never even tip.

You never order dessert at restaurants.

Yep.

You always have water only when dining out.

Nope. I have the free tea instead.

You refuse to use the valet.

Yes.

You try not to use the bellhop, for fear of tipping.

Yes.

You avoid the non-free snacks in hotel rooms.

Of course.

You don't mind squeezing 20 people into one motel room.

Yes.

You want your dollar back from the friend who borrowed it right away.

Guess so. I might forget it if too much time passes.

You get the runs when you drink lots of milk.

No. My digestive system gets along fine with dairy products.

Most girls have more body hair than you if you are male.

No. I'm quite hairy.

You have a great love for cameras.

Yes!

Sanrio means a lot to you if you are female.

It means a lot to my girlfriend.

Your fridge stinks.

Unfortunately yes.

Your parents don't want you to move out when you turn 18.

Move out? What's that?

Your parents want to live with you when they are old.

Yes.

You tap the table when someone pours tea for you.

Yes.

You point to your nose when referring to yourself.

Yes.

You say "Aiya!" and "Wah!" frequently.

"Wah!". And "Kao!" too.

You lie about your kids' ages when going to a movie or amusement park.

Yes.

You lie about your age to get a senior citizen's discount.

Yes.

You don't want to wear your seatbelt because it is uncomfortable.

Nah. I wear it all the time. I'm paranoid.

You love Las Vegas, slot machines, and blackjack.

Yes. But I only watch other people play.

You love to play Mahjong.

Yes. But only for 1 dollar/yuan/peso/whatever stakes.

You want to marry Chinese.

Yes.

You have to read all your parents' mail written in english.

Yes.

You have to make phone calls for your parents to english speakers.

Yes.

Your parents ask you if you are home when you come home. ("Faan nei lah?")

Yeah. I never did understand this part. Can't they see the obvious?

You get a knuckle in your skull if you are being punished by your parents.

Yes.

You are constantly being set up with uninteresting people by your parents.

Used to. They've given up.

You always hear about how great so-and-so's son or daughter is.

Yes. And I hate it.

Your Honda has the "boom".

No. Again, because I'm too cheap.

Your parents wish you would give 30% of your income to them.

50%.

Your childhood is filled with painful memories of the long feather duster ("Guy Mo So")

I still have the scars.

You can use the words "*****" and "chinaman" with impunity.

Haha... yes.

Your clothes smell like fried foods.

Yes.

You talk at the top of your voice at all occasions.

[No. This is one thing I hate about our people.

You hate eating cheese.

No. I love cheese.

You use dollies as living room decorations (yes! My parents do this!).

Yes.

You never drink water unless it's been boiled. It doesn't matter if you live in Australia, the UK, America, Canada etc. you can't trust that water unless it's been boiled.

Yes.

Your mother, your relatives and all their female friends suddenly develop an interest in gardening (flowers and Chinese vegetables) and cooking Chinese delicacies when they hit late middle-age. They will never have shown any interest in these things before.

Yes.

Gambling is considered a fun family past-time for all ages. When you're 5 years old it is card games. Choosing numbers for the lottery is a family past-time. When you get old enough it's fun filled family trips to the casino/horse races.

Yes.

Your mother/wife tries to force "health soups" that take hours to cook down your throat at every opportunity. It's a sign of love! Well, actually most of them actually taste good, but some are pretty disgusting. The sicker you are the worse they taste.

Yes.

When your mother hits the streets in trips to HK/China/Chinatown there's a search for (a) dried mushrooms, (b) abalone, (c) dried scallops, (d) Chinese medicine, (e) statues/wallscrolls/hangings esp. of gods, esp. of the Goddess of Mercy and Compassion. They will buy so much that they will have to post it back home because it won't fit into the suitcase.

Yes.

Only 19 that don't apply out of a list of 108. Waaahh...

 

[kingjoshi]

Dann, I think you might be Chinese

 

[Chukchi Husky]

A few of them are true for me, and I was called Chinese at school.

 

[Uiler]

So Kingjoshi, I've noticed a pattern with your list. What's with the sunglasses

Also, here's another one for the Chinese list. You often get accused by your parents of doing something which is "bad luck" or your parents attempt to give you lucky charms, have a red and green Chinese calender and use it to work out which days are lucky or not, and have lucky charms hanging everywhere around the house. And they really truly believe in ghosts and demons.

Hmm...I wonder if this is related to the gambling fixation...

And somewhere in your house you have a statue of the Goddess of Mercy and Compassion with incense constantly burning. Big framed pictures of your dead grandparents and great-grandparents can be found hanging in prominent positions.

Everytime your parents and their friends/relatives go to a restaurant there is a big argument at the end about who gets to pay. Eventually one of the males stands up, pulls out his wallet and quite literally marches to the counter, brushing off all attempts to physically restrain him by the other males who want to look like they want to pay. To outsiders it looks like they're about to punch each other...The bigger the group the more dramatic the demonstration of generosity.

 

[The Last Conformist]

I refuse to believe there's anything Chinese about having to proofread your parents' English correspondence.

 

[kingjoshi]

Actually, I'm the only one in my family that wears sunglasses. I look good doing it too

But having older family members wear big dorky glasses is more common. I think that's their style

The whole incense and dead grandparents works regarding my parents too.

I wonder if any other Hindu parents have pictures of Jesus in their households. We have all these tiny statues of Hindu gods and there's this picture of him.

Hindus don't use charms. We use astrology to say which days are the best for everything. Joshi means astrologer.

Desis also argue about who pays. When I'm with my American friends, I used to pay for everything and noticed they never complained. After a while, we started to split the costs. Worse thing is, I still want to pay for everything even though they're all richer. Damn culture.

 

[Dann]

You often get accused by your parents of doing something which is "bad luck" or your parents attempt to give you lucky charms, have a red and green Chinese calender and use it to work out which days are lucky or not, and have lucky charms hanging everywhere around the house. And they really truly believe in ghosts and demons.

Yes.

Hmm...I wonder if this is related to the gambling fixation...

Perhaps. But it is followed even among those who don't gamble.

And somewhere in your house you have a statue of the Goddess of Mercy and Compassion with incense constantly burning. Big framed pictures of your dead grandparents and great-grandparents can be found hanging in prominent positions.

Yes. It creeps the non-Chinese visitors out.

Everytime your parents and their friends/relatives go to a restaurant there is a big argument at the end about who gets to pay. Eventually one of the males stands up, pulls out his wallet and quite literally marches to the counter, brushing off all attempts to physically restrain him by the other males who want to look like they want to pay. To outsiders it looks like they're about to punch each other...The bigger the group the more dramatic the demonstration of generosity.

Oh yeah.

 

[kingjoshi]

Anyone see the Joy Luck Club? Great movie. Parents always try to show off their children to other families. At the same time, not meant as any insult, but I think Asian parents tend to be willing to sacrifice a lot more for their children as well.

 

[Dann]

They really do. In extreme cases people have been know to sell their own blood in order to pay for their children's schooling. You won't find a Western parent doing that.

OTOH they expect too much out of their children too. Pressure to excel is ridiculous among us Asian children. If we make good they brag about us to the other parents, but then once at home they say to us: "Why can't you be as good as that other kid?"

And you can be sure that other parent is doing the same thing to their kid too.

And let's not go into that whole filial piety/ sense of duty thing. It is totally EXPECTED of children to support the retired old folks when they've grown up and the roles have reversed. Move out? Have an independent life? Hah! If you even suggest that they'd be more comfortable in a nursing home (you'd even pay for all the expenses forever) they'd go: "You ingrate! After all we've done for you this is the way you treat us?!"

 

[kingjoshi]

Agreed with the rest.

And let's not go into that whole filial piety/ sense of duty thing. It is totally EXPECTED of children to support the retired old folks when they've grown up and the roles have reversed. Move out? Have an independent life? Hah! If you even suggest that they'd be more comfortable in a nursing home (you'd even pay for all the expenses forever) they'd go: "You ingrate! After all we've done for you this is the way you treat us?!"

I don't have a problem with this. Well, I dislike persuasion by guilt, but I mean the actual responsibility. In Nepal, we still have extended families. The eldest son lives in the same household as his parents. Me being the eldest son, it's my responsibilty and something I've accepted ever since I can remember.

Fortunately, I won't have to live with my parents my whole life, but when they get older, I intend to support them. Maybe buy an outhouse they can live in so they're still separate

 

[Dann]

So why do you think I chose the expat life? I love my folks and my elders. I would gladly support them financially for all eternity if I can. But living together with them permanently will drive me insane. (Vacations, however, are ok.)

Also I'm fortunate to have a lot of siblings. Like I mentioned above, my mother is living with one of my brothers, 2 of my sisters and their husbands and kids.

It's one of my aunts that I'm worried about however. I grew up at my grandfather's with her around. She never married and has no kids of her own. Guess when she retires it's my obligation to take her in.