CCRunner
Deity
- Joined
- May 13, 2008
- Messages
- 3,132
That's me!!!Wow... Necromancy of the darkest type... This thread is 7 years old... that's older than some of our younger members
Great story
I like Monkeys
- Thread starter Globber
- Start date
Great story
mechaerik
Tuturuu!
@Firestorm:
What is that thing? I've seen it before but have no idea what it is.
As for Lefty, that's a 4 year bump, man!
Please don't kill me.
Absolutely hilarious though.
What is that thing? I've seen it before but have no idea what it is.
As for Lefty, that's a 4 year bump, man!
Please don't kill me.
Absolutely hilarious though.
Firestorm94
zuh?
I just googled lolwut, I thought it made as much sense as this story.
Sharwood
Rich, doctor nephew
I love the fact that Lefty, a mod, has necroed this thread not once, but twice. I'm glad though, it's funny.
Perfection
The Great Head.
Seen it before 
Sharwood
Rich, doctor nephew
Twice even.Seen it before
mechaerik
Tuturuu!
Did he ever figure out what was wrong with the monkeys?
Firestorm94
zuh?
Yes, they happened to show symptoms of being dead, so we can assume the he knew they were dead.
Sharwood
Rich, doctor nephew
Or maybe they had Ebola? That would explain why the OP doesn't post anymore.
holy king
Deity
i cheer for the decision to make this sticky.
So we like monkey stories do we? Ok...
How the Stock Market Works
A few years ago Larry approached his Guadalajara neighbours and announced that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The neighbours, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. Larry bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the neighbours stopped their effort.
He next announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of his neighbours and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.
The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it! Larry now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go in town on some business, Darren, his son, would buy on his behalf.
In the absence of Larry, Darren told the neighbours: "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that my dad has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when Dad returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."
The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. They never saw Larry or Darren again, only lots and lots of monkeys! Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.
Wanna buy a monkey?
[Note: not my story]
How the Stock Market Works
A few years ago Larry approached his Guadalajara neighbours and announced that he would buy monkeys for $10 each. The neighbours, seeing that there were many monkeys around, went out to the forest and started catching them. Larry bought thousands at $10 and, as supply started to diminish, the neighbours stopped their effort.
He next announced that he would now buy monkeys at $20 each. This renewed the efforts of his neighbours and they started catching monkeys again. Soon the supply diminished even further and people started going back to their farms.
The offer increased to $25 each and the supply of monkeys became so scarce it was an effort to even find a monkey, let alone catch it! Larry now announced that he would buy monkeys at $50 each! However, since he had to go in town on some business, Darren, his son, would buy on his behalf.
In the absence of Larry, Darren told the neighbours: "Look at all these monkeys in the big cage that my dad has already collected. I will sell them to you at $35 and when Dad returns from the city, you can sell them to him for $50 each."
The villagers rounded up all their savings and bought all the monkeys. They never saw Larry or Darren again, only lots and lots of monkeys! Now you have a better understanding of how the stock market works.
Wanna buy a monkey?
[Note: not my story]
Abaddon
Deity
Yeah, then I can do the same to the next village!
_random_
Jewel Runner
What was your signature way back then?
Another monkey story
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result, and all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon the monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth.
Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know thats the way its always been done around here.
And that, my friends, is how a company policy begins.
Anyone got any more monkey stories?
Start with a cage containing five monkeys. Inside the cage, hang a banana on a string and place a set of stairs under it. Before long, a monkey will go to the stairs and start to climb towards the banana. As soon as he touches the stairs, spray all of the other monkeys with cold water. After a while, another monkey makes an attempt with the same result, and all the other monkeys are sprayed with cold water. Pretty soon the monkeys will try to prevent it.
Now, put away the cold water. Remove one monkey from the cage and replace it with a new one. The new monkey sees the banana and wants to climb the stairs. To his surprise and horror, all of the other monkeys attack him. After another attempt and attack, he knows that if he tries to climb the stairs, he will be assaulted.
Next, remove another of the original five monkeys and replace it with a new one. The newcomer goes to the stairs and is attacked. The previous newcomer takes part in the punishment with enthusiasm! Likewise, replace a third original monkey with a new one, then a fourth, then the fifth.
Every time the newest monkey takes to the stairs, he is attacked. Most of the monkeys that are beating him have no idea why they were not permitted to climb the stairs or why they are participating in the beating of the newest monkey. After replacing all the original monkeys, none of the remaining monkeys have ever been sprayed with cold water. Nevertheless, no monkey ever again approaches the stairs to try for the banana. Why not? Because as far as they know thats the way its always been done around here.
And that, my friends, is how a company policy begins.
Anyone got any more monkey stories?
heliogabalus
Warlord
I don't, at the moment, but I wholeheartedly applaud the decision to make this thread a sticky. Was it done after its last resurrection in February?
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