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If civ was real life.

Discussion in 'Civ5 - General Discussions' started by fuzzatron717, Dec 19, 2013.

  1. fuzzatron717

    fuzzatron717 Holy Warrior

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    Canada, eh
    If civ was real life city-states would probably be where you would want to live until Venice come by then someone conquers ALL of the Venetian empire.
     
  2. Guandao

    Guandao Rajah of Minyue and Langkasuka

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    America would be able to buy land around them (sorry Canada and Mexico...) and also see farther away

    China would be spawning Great Generals

    Brazil would be spawning Great Artists/Musicians/Writers during its Carnival festival

    Russia would have double the iron, horses, and uranium...

    India would have overcrowded cities but its unhappiness will be halved

    Thailand would be getting double the culture, food, faith from Kuala Lumpur, Singapore, Manila, and Kathmandu

    Greece would have its Hellenic League of City-states (Valletta, Sofia, Bucharest, Belgrade, just naming the closest ones to Greece anyways, no offence to people from those cities)
     
  3. otaman1

    otaman1 Prince

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    2,697
    If Civilization was real life,
    France would've been founded in four thousand BC,
    The Aztecs would've been on strike,
    'Murica's capital wouldn't be D.C

    The Mayans would've helped the Aztecs, Caesar wouldn't be rotten,
    Slow turns, waiting, trashin' the turn button,
    We don't care, we're playing simultaneous turns.
    But everybody's like tf, hurry, the Huns acting like herns.
    Bombers, careless, hitting on a dark day.
    We don't care, we aren't caught up in your selfish ways.

    And we'll never be loyal (loyal).
    It don't work in Civ 5,
    The hordes would be yelling, Die y'all".
    We ain't ready to win Nobel Prize.
    Let me be your ruler (ruler),
    You can call me King S'hai',
    And baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule.
    Let me live in paradise.
     
  4. PrimoXanthous

    PrimoXanthous ~ knightmare13 ~

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    Location:
    Sa Puso mo
    If Civ was real life. there would be no Global warning and climate change. no more polar ice caps melts and other craps. no more conserve energy. we could use all oil we want. that is one good thing.
     
  5. thegingerninja

    thegingerninja Warlord

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    Location:
    I'm like, totally not a hobo...
    If civ was real life I would be a blind Venetian who rules the world
     
  6. Krajzen

    Krajzen Deity

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    Poland
    If civ was real life:

    Mohandas Karamchand Gandhi (pronounced [ˈmoːɦənd̪aːs ˈkərəmtʃənd̪ ˈɡaːnd̪ʱi] ( listen); 2 October 1869 – 30 January 1948) was an Indian warmonger and the leader of the National Socialist Indian Workers' Party (Nazi Party). He was chancellor of India from 4000BC to 2050AD. Gandhi was at the centre of Indian Empire and the Nuclear Holocaust.
     
  7. seanflokstra7

    seanflokstra7 Prince

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    Location:
    In your mind
    If civ was real life
    By: seanflokstra7

    *Murican governor walks in*
    Governor: Hello there sir
    Person: Good morning, what brings you to my house?
    Governor: The President has assigned you to work a piece of land, and you'll control and take care of that piece of land
    Person: Alright, anything to feed America

    *after arriving at the piece of land, turning out it is a piece of forest*
    Person: What is this
    Governor: This is the piece of land
    Person: But I thought forests would have to be improved to work ar
    Governor: Nope not in Murica
    Person; BUT WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO HERE! THERES NOT EVEN A HOUSE! WHERE SHOULD I SLEEP!?
    Governor: Figure it out yourself *drives off into the sunset*
     
  8. Adjuvant

    Adjuvant Emperor

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  9. soldier2975

    soldier2975 Chieftain

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    Location:
    Alpha Centauri
    A Great General's speech to his men.

    Men, don't give up hope yet, reinforcements will be coming in the next 200 years and if we fight hard enough we can bring jimmy back from the dead and if the scientists smash enough blue beakers together advanced weapons will be teleported to us plus we might even have another general help us because of our Warrior Code.


    We will win! Those Viking Spearmen are no match for our Russian tanks!

    *General blows whistle*

    *men charge*

    ARRRRRRRRRR

    *Tanks clash with spearmen*

    Soldier: Jimmy is dead again!

    Tank Crewman: Hes trying breaking into my tank, HE-

    :spear:

    :ar15: :viking:

    :run:

    Catherine: Hmm maybe my ally Gandhi will help us.

    :backstab:


    :c5war:


    :c5rangedstrength:

    :c5razing:
     
  10. soldier2975

    soldier2975 Chieftain

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    Alpha Centauri
    This post made me think twice about nuking cities.
     
  11. fuzzatron717

    fuzzatron717 Holy Warrior

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    Canada, eh
    Yeah it made me think that too, time to double my payload of nukes everywhere:D!
     
  12. Magma_Dragoon

    Magma_Dragoon Reploid

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    Truly, a paradise. All industries and agriculture is totally automated. State mandated maximum marriage age of 16, study cosmology in school, get a job in the physics department of State University of Learning.
     
  13. SYKOJAK

    SYKOJAK Warlord

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    Lockport, NY
    If civ was real life, there would only ever be 1 leader of each civ for the 6050 years, until the end of the world.
     
  14. Acrobatc101

    Acrobatc101 Chieftain

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    Nope,

    GAME OVER: USA wins science victory long ago.
     
  15. HerrDoktor

    HerrDoktor Mad Scientist

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    No, they wouldn't, because Russia and Arabia adopted a different ideology and refuse to open borders.
     
  16. otaman1

    otaman1 Prince

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    If you're an America, you can see 1 hex further than everyone else.
    If you're an Arabian, more people will be effected by your belief.
    If you're an Assyrian, you get a free technology when you steal someone's house.
    If you're an Austrian, you can buy or puppet your friend if y'all been together for 5 years.
    If you're an Aztec, you get culture by killing whatever.
    If you're a Babylonian, random scientists will fall into your backyard.
    If you're a Brazilian, random artists will draw stuff for you.
    If you're a Byzantine, you can have one extra belief.
    If you're a Carthaginian, you can climb mountains but you'll take half of your life away.
    If you're a Celtic, you get an extra faith if you live near an unimproved forest.
    If you're a Chinese, you'll get help whenever you get into a fight.
    If you're a Danish, you don't have to wait for the cops to show up when you've pillage.
    If you're a Dutch, you'll still stay happy if you traded your last copy of Civilization V away.
    If you're an Egyptian, you're a wondermonger.
    If you're an English, you can swim faster than Michael Phelps.
    If you're an Ethiopian, you're stronger if you're fighting someone with more houses.
    If you're a French, more people will visit your house in "awes" and more "awes".
    If you're a German, someone will join your side if you win in a fight.
    If you're a Greek, you have real good relations with kids.
    If you're a Hun, you can burn houses faster.
    If you're an Inca, you can run up a hill at double speed.
    If you're an Indian, nobody in your house will ever be mad.
    If you're an Indonesian, you get free food.
    If you're an Iroquois, you can run faster in a forest than Jason.
    If you're a Japanese, you're the Hulk.
    If you're a Korean, you're smarter than everyone else, including Newton, Einstein, and Hawking.
    If you're a Mayan, you have your very own confusing calendar.
    If you're a Mongolian, you scare kids.
    If you're a Moroccan, you get money by trading whatever.
    If you're an Ottoman (Turkish), you're a real good ship builder.
    If you're a Persian, you're Dash.
    If you're a Polish, you change characters every time a new era starts.
    If you're a Polynesian, you can build a boat and sail on it across the world before your first birthday.
    If you're a Portuguese, you get double amount of money from trading.
    If you're a Roman, other people you own will build stuff faster if you have it.
    If you're a Russian, you get a crap ton of pros if you own a cattle or horse.
    If you're a Shoshone, your house is probably the size of Russia.
    If you're a Siamese (Thai), you get free food from kids.
    If you're a Songhai, you get free money from Morgan Freeman, who's also Songhai.
    If you're a Spanish, you get more whatever if you live near a natural wonder.
    If you're a Swedish, kids will help you earn Nobel Prizes.
    If you're a Venetian, you can buy houses for free.
    If you're a Zulu, you've probably fought and lived alongside Nelson Mandela's ancestors.
     
  17. HerrDoktor

    HerrDoktor Mad Scientist

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    If Civ was real life, socialism would work. It would increase production and worker scientists would make science in factories. The envy of the rest of the world from the glorious proletarian utopia would be so great they would be dominated by unhappiness.
     
  18. HerrDoktor

    HerrDoktor Mad Scientist

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    If you're Brazilian, monkeys in the jungle draw art for you. As long you provide them with red paint.
     
  19. PrimoXanthous

    PrimoXanthous ~ knightmare13 ~

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    If you're an America, you got binocular eyes.
    If you're an Inca, you must have big legs.
    If you're an Indonesian, you got a dagger army with crazy random sword, with crazy random abilities.
    If you're Jason maybe your ancestor is Hiawatha?
    If you're a Polynesian, you might be the host of world congress most of the time on archipelago maps.
    If you're a Portuguese, you copy kid's smile.
    If you're a Spanish, you get more 500 whatever if you first spot a termite mound.
    If you're a Venetian, you can buy kids and make them your house.
    If you're a Zulu, youre Descendant might be Vaas. Insanity eh.
     
  20. seanflokstra7

    seanflokstra7 Prince

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    In your mind
    If you were a Zulu, you would have random elephant skulls in your backyard
     

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