If santa was real ...

[bhavv]

And he had to deliver presents to every household in the world:

- How fast would he have to travel?
- How could his reindeers fly?
- How could his sledge hold that many presents?
- How fast would he have to make his delivery to each house?
- What if a house doesn't have a chimney?
- What if the fire was left on?
- How does he even fit down a chimney?
- Where abouts in the north pole is his home located?
- Are there photos of it?
- How come he doesn't freeze to death?
- How does he read / remember every child / adults wishes for their Christmas presents?
- Why do we teach our children to believe in such nonsense?

 

[sophie]

santa is real.

 

[bhavv]

No....

 

[sophie]

but he has to be! who else put that model train set I've been dreaming about all year long under the tree?

 

[Borachio]

There was a young girl in a tree,
Who said "Look, what's happened to me!
This doesn't seem fun,
I've a tree up my bum.
Oh Lord! I'm the Christmas fair-ee!"

As for Santa, it's well known that archetypal personifications (real, though they be) can effect multi-locationism with ease. If you can be in many places at once, all these considerations of how fast you'd have to travel, and how big your sleigh (which could be like the tardis of course, smaller on the outside than inside, in any case) would have to be, vanish.

 

[The_J]

To address a few of the first question:

Reindeer: So you clone yourself every year to be everywhere in one single night?
Left Santa: Yes, but then finding out who of us is the real one is damn difficult!
Right Santa: There can only be one!

 

[aelf]

He should be arrested and tried for being a dirty Red commie #socialismisadisease (actual hashtag I've seen; probably invented by either trolls or idiots).

 

[classical_hero]

Physics said he is dead.

 

[Colonel]

Santa is real in spirit. Nothing more is needed.

 

[NickyJ]

- Why do we teach our children to believe in such nonsense?

This is the thing I've never been able to figure out. About three o'clock on a Christmas morning when I was six or seven, I couldn't sleep so I walked downstairs to get a glass of water from the kitchen. When I started to go back to bed, I found my mother hanging up the stockings. I had been suspicious that Santa wasn't real, but this confirmed it, and she seemed angry about me discovering it (I don't remember what she said). I went to bed, got up later that morning, and she never said a word to me, so I never said anything about it.

What's the point? Same with the tooth fairy. I mean, you could tell me about how it's a tradition, and like fairy tales and all that... But really, what's the point? You're telling a story to give a child awe which he will eventually learn is a lie. I genuinely want to know what makes people continue to do it.

 

[sophie]

This is the thing I've never been able to figure out. About three o'clock on a Christmas morning when I was six or seven, I couldn't sleep so I walked downstairs to get a glass of water from the kitchen. When I started to go back to bed, I found my mother hanging up the stockings. I had been suspicious that Santa wasn't real, but this confirmed it, and she seemed angry about me discovering it (I don't remember what she said). I went to bed, got up later that morning, and she never said a word to me, so I never said anything about it.

What's the point? Same with the tooth fairy. I mean, you could tell me about how it's a tradition, and like fairy tales and all that... But really, what's the point? You're telling a story to give a child awe which he will eventually learn is a lie. I genuinely want to know what makes people continue to do it.

Because it's fun? It makes kids happy?

 

[NickyJ]

Because it's fun? It makes kids happy?

Fun for who? For the parents, I wouldn't know, so I won't question. But if it's supposed to be fun for kids, I'd think that most of that fun and happiness comes out of the gifts themselves and not how they arrived.

 

[Lillefix]

To address a few of the first question:

Reindeer: So you clone yourself every year to be everywhere in one single night?
Left Santa: Yes, but then finding out who of us is the real one is damn difficult!
Right Santa: There can only be one!

Slight correction: There can be only one!

 

[ls612]

I don't remember where I read this, but if you do the math of how far Santa would have to travel to visit every house on earth once in one night he would have to go something like 10% of the speed of light.

 

[Browd]

The Physics of Santa: http://www.daclarke.org/Humour/santa.html

 

[Old Hippy]

What's the point? Same with the tooth fairy. I mean, you could tell me about how it's a tradition, and like fairy tales and all that... But really, what's the point? You're telling a story to give a child awe which he will eventually learn is a lie. I genuinely want to know what makes people continue to do it.

It is the easiest way to let children discover for themselves, that nothing should be taken at face value

it is also revenge for all the times parents have to say thank you for getting imaginary cups of tea from their daughter and complimenting them on their imaginary cup cakes...

 

[cybrxkhan]

Folks, folks, Santa is real. He was a short, swarthy Greek guy. No really, Saint Nicholas in the good ol' (Eastern) Roman Empire all that. Facial reconstruction based on relic bones or something:

So kids, Santa is real! He's just an dead Greek guy.

 

[sophie]

Fun for who? For the parents, I wouldn't know, so I won't question. But if it's supposed to be fun for kids, I'd think that most of that fun and happiness comes out of the gifts themselves and not how they arrived.

Enormously fun for the parents. Fun for the kids. Fun for everybody.

 

[azzaman333]

Santa is just what happens when Satan goes crazy once a year and becomes overly nice instead of inexplicably evil.

 

[bhavv]

Hail Satan.