If santa was real ...

[Borachio]

You've noticed that Santa is an anagram of Satan, then?

 

[azzaman333]

You've noticed that Santa is an anagram of Satan, then?

It's more than just coincidence my friend.

 

[Perfection]

Okay, I'm going to let you in on a secret, but you got to keep it on the DL. My dad is actually Santa Claus, he doesn't like to answer questions about the North Pole though because the elves made him swear to secrecy when they agreed to work for him but I'll see if I can trick him into answering.

 

[sophie]

Okay, I'm going to let you in on a secret, but you got to keep it on the DL. My dad is actually Santa Claus, he doesn't like to answer questions about the North Pole though because the elves made him swear to secrecy when they agreed to work for him but I'll see if I can trick him into answering.

Ah, say, you think you could put in a good word for me with the big guy upstairs? I've already got enough coal to last me a lifetime and I've had my eye on a new Tonka Truck all year.

 

[warpus]

What's the point? Same with the tooth fairy. I mean, you could tell me about how it's a tradition, and like fairy tales and all that... But really, what's the point? You're telling a story to give a child awe which he will eventually learn is a lie. I genuinely want to know what makes people continue to do it.

It's done for the benefit of the parents and other adults - so they can go "d'aawwwww" when kids are opening presents from a magical man who is rewarding them for good behaviour.

People also seem to think that kids also benefit from this arrangement - but I'm not so convinced. I think kids would prefer to hear the truth, tbh.

 

[aelf]

I never really believed Santa would come and give me presents, but I was fairly worried about Black Piet. Maybe it has to do with the fact that the guy in blackface seemed like he would actually do something while Santa just posed for photos.

 

[Borachio]

This is the thing I've never been able to figure out. About three o'clock on a Christmas morning when I was six or seven, I couldn't sleep so I walked downstairs to get a glass of water from the kitchen. When I started to go back to bed, I found my mother hanging up the stockings. I had been suspicious that Santa wasn't real, but this confirmed it, and she seemed angry about me discovering it (I don't remember what she said). I went to bed, got up later that morning, and she never said a word to me, so I never said anything about it.

What's the point? Same with the tooth fairy. I mean, you could tell me about how it's a tradition, and like fairy tales and all that... But really, what's the point? You're telling a story to give a child awe which he will eventually learn is a lie. I genuinely want to know what makes people continue to do it.

I'm not sure. But it certainly seems to fill some role. Or else why is practice so widespread?

Your parents surely remembering discovering it was all a "lie" (a kind of rather benevolent make-believe, but a lie nonetheless), so why did they continue to inflict it on you?

Perhaps they thought you'd enjoy it? I really don't know myself. Perhaps they feared that, if they didn't, you'd be envious of other children who'd "had stuff from Santa".

Will you never inflict it on your own children, then?

 

[MagisterCultuum]

My parents never lied to be about Santa Claus, but they did put a lot of pressure on me not to tell the truth to my cousins or to other kids at school.

(They also kind of sarcastically started to pretend that things were from Santa once I was already a teenager.)

I always found the whole idea to be an annoying reminder of how most adults are horribly irrational and terrible parents.

 

[Borachio]

Or alternatively: how most people are irrational but can still make caring, though sometimes misguided, parents?

In fact, I'd go further: I think everyone is irrational. I wouldn't have it any other way, myself.

 

[warpus]

I'm not sure. But it certainly seems to fill some role. Or else why is practice so widespread?

It's a tradition, and the holidays are a time for traditions. And anyone who says "Hey, this tradition seems silly" is going to be yelled at, no matter which tradition he/she's talking about, because the holidays.. are a time for traditions. And so let's get on with it, because surely if there was a problem with these traditions, we wouldn't be doing them in the first place.

Like I said, it's mostly for the benefit of the adults, as much as they will try to convince you that it's for the benefit of the children.

 

[Berzerker]

And he had to deliver presents to every household in the world:

- How fast would he have to travel?
- How could his reindeers fly?
- How could his sledge hold that many presents?
- How fast would he have to make his delivery to each house?
- What if a house doesn't have a chimney?
- What if the fire was left on?
- How does he even fit down a chimney?
- Where abouts in the north pole is his home located?
- Are there photos of it?
- How come he doesn't freeze to death?
- How does he read / remember every child / adults wishes for their Christmas presents?
- Why do we teach our children to believe in such nonsense?

Santa is real, he/she is a siberian shaman providing magic mushrooms to the local community. The reindeer fly because they also like the shrooms and join the shaman on their celestial quest to commune with the spirit world. The houses have "chimneys", they serve as entrances to homes when the front door is snowed in.

http://www.livescience.com/25731-magic-mushrooms-santa-claus.html

 

[Bridog7]

If Santa was real he'd be a dolphin. I mean dolphins were here first. Someday their gonna comeback and drive us back to the ocean. Their leader right now is kept in captivity at Sea World. Santa is gonna declare a civil war between the North Pole & the South. Why does Koala make horrible noises? Cause Pebbles said he had the voice of an angel. How do I fix fish?

 

[NickyJ]

I'm not sure. But it certainly seems to fill some role. Or else why is practice so widespread?

Your parents surely remembering discovering it was all a "lie" (a kind of rather benevolent make-believe, but a lie nonetheless), so why did they continue to inflict it on you?

Perhaps they thought you'd enjoy it? I really don't know myself. Perhaps they feared that, if they didn't, you'd be envious of other children who'd "had stuff from Santa".

Will you never inflict it on your own children, then?

My dad says he was against saying the presents were from Santa in the first place, but my mom insisted, so he went along with it. As to whether I'll do it myself, I'm honestly not sure. It's kind of why I bothered asking at all. If there was some reason I had never heard of that explained the reasoning behind it, I might, but at the moment I don't see any particular reason, so I'd trend towards "no". If I ever have to make that decision, then it'll probably be swayed by how strongly the missus feels about it.

 

[Rashiminos]

And he had to deliver presents to every household in the world:

- How fast would he have to travel?

If Santa had access to time travel technology and a detailed knowledge of when people aren't paying attention to certain skies, he wouldn't have to spatially travel much faster than modern aircraft.

 

[sophie]

My dad says he was against saying the presents were from Santa in the first place, but my mom insisted, so he went along with it. As to whether I'll do it myself, I'm honestly not sure. It's kind of why I bothered asking at all. If there was some reason I had never heard of that explained the reasoning behind it, I might, but at the moment I don't see any particular reason, so I'd trend towards "no". If I ever have to make that decision, then it'll probably be swayed by how strongly the missus feels about it.

Well you can always go with the old standby of "teaching children that parents don't always tell the truth/magic isn't real/children should learn to question their parents" but that always struck me as a post-hoc justification that wasn't really very strong to begin with. I still stand by it's fun: it's great for parents and family members getting to watch the sheer sense of joy on a child's face, plus having an easy go-to to threaten your kids into being not-awful (which sounds terrible, but is an absolute wonder when you have or are around kids) is always nice. Plus kids get something to look forward to. Sure you can say "it's the gifts that the kids like, not who they're getting them from" but I don't know about you, but Christmas was always a much more magical thing as a kid than my birthday was. And seeing extended family had nothing to do with it. So we go back to my original argument: it's fun and it does no harm (and don't give me that "finding out Santa was fake traumatized me" line; I don't buy it). Why do we chop down fir trees and bedeck them with random crap? Why do people put up Christmas lights? These things serve no purpose other than devoting storage space to a bunch of crap that you're only using 4 weeks out of the year tops. If you don't want your kid to grow up with Santa Claus that's your prerogative. But I guarantee you you'll change your tune once you actually get kids and they start complaining constantly about all the nice things their friends are getting from Santa.

 

[Borachio]

If Santa was real he'd be a dolphin. I mean dolphins were here first. Someday their gonna comeback and drive us back to the ocean. Their leader right now is kept in captivity at Sea World. Santa is gonna declare a civil war between the North Pole & the South. Why does Koala make horrible noises? Cause Pebbles said he had the voice of an angel. How do I fix fish?

This doesn't make sense! (Why would I suppose it might?)

Why would dolphins drive us back to the ocean? Surely that's their domain?

It would make more sense for them to drive us off the ocean, and clear all the shipping, and pollution, away.

Especially given that dolphins don't do all that well on dry land, how do you propose that they're going to actually drive us back to the ocean?

 

[Perfection]

Ah, say, you think you could put in a good word for me with the big guy upstairs? I've already got enough coal to last me a lifetime and I've had my eye on a new Tonka Truck all year.

I sent him a text. He said, "no promises".