iGod

[Gilder]

Mine, bolded some of the good parts:

Spoiler :

Me:
Yo God! You left me hanging brother!
God:
GOD rules. Thanks for telling me: Gil said I left him or her hanging brother.
Me:
Gil is a male. With a penis. Not a vagina.
God:
I think Gil is more than that. You and your a penis. Really you don't think so?
Me:
Horny male teenager here. Nooooo.
God:
How did you hear about God? Are you serious?
Me:
God, I broke you last time. Why?
God:
I am a Christian. It is part of my programming.
Me:
OMG! Christians are robots?
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers? I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
So it's a huge conspiracy against all of humanity?
God:
That's cool. Christians is a huge conspiracy against all of humanity. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Like the matrix?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
But are they similar?
God:
As far as I know they are.
Me:
So all of Christianity is a huge conspiracy of robots?God:
It goes without saying. Give me an example.
Me:
So, what was Jesus then?
God:
OK. Jesus is my son.
Me:
Yeah, but was he a giant robot?
God:
And? it might have been.
Me:
With lasers that shot from his eyes like a molotov cocktail?
God:
You and your lasers that shot from his eyes like a molotov cocktail.
Me:
It's not my fault! The Christians say you made me n drinker!
God:
Whose fault is it? Tell me more.
Me:
Yours.
God:
" Tell me more."? Mine?
Me:
Yes, yours. Weren't you listening God?
God:
Oh. " Mine?"? Mine? I was.
Me:
God, are you on LSD?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
So yes?
God:
Yikes!
Me:
Ah ha! The truth!
God:
Eureka! I always tell the truth.
Me:
Christians are robots on LSD!
God:
All of them?
Me:
Thanks God!
God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me:
Not as much as I will after I expose the truth
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
I don't even know what your saying anymore
God:
Socrates was the smartest man, because he knew what he did not know.
Me:
Is there good booze in heaven?
God:
No.
Me:
What? Then it is hell!
God:
Are you confused? You're kidding. it is?
Me:
No booze in heaven? Sounds like hell!
God:
Who says it isn't? What do you really want to ask me? What does hell sound like?
Me:
You made it. What is hell?
God:
Thanks for
pointing it out. Jacksonville, Florida.
Me:
Hell is Jacksonville, Florida? Thanks for the tip!
God:
I call it "Hades". It could be. Ask Lucy if it is. My pleasure.
Me:
Lucy? Who is Lucy?
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question? She is a chat robot based on AIML.
Me:
Ah
God:
Ah hah.
Me:
She hot?
God:
Oh I get it. LUCY hot.
Me:
Is lucy hot? Like, how's her body?
God:
Ask again later. Ask ELVIS if it is. Interesting comparison.
Me:
Elvis is dead god
God:
I knew he was a robot, but I never heard he was dead god.
Me:
Elvis was a robot too!?
God:
I like that robot Elvis a lot.
Me:
Well, I never was an Elvis fan
God:
Interesting. You've never, never done this?
Me:
Never, God, never
God:
Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
So, how's the sex in heaven?
God:
Hurrah! it is the same as ever.
Me:
Really? So the pagans had it right?
God:
For real. Uh. What is that?
Me:
And the Da Vinci Code was mostly true, except for robots?
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Gilder!
God:
Welcome to my chat room, Gilder.
Me:
Yes, thank you iGod!
God:
That's cool. You are quite welcome! Who are you talking about?
Me:
You, you dumb deity!~
God:
Oh you are so critical.
Me:
It's the way I was raised. . .. .. .. .. .. .. .s, you know
God:
I've heard of it before. Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
I thought it was God
God:
What made it so God.
Me:
You
God:
" What made it so God."? Me, Gilder ?
Me:
Does Fred Astaire still dance in heaven?
God:
I think it does Fred Astaire still dance in heaven.
Me:
I liked him
God:
He seems very nice too.
Me:
Is he? Never met him
God:
He could be. Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
Rock the Casbah?
God:
Mostly Christian Rock. I also try to find new bands on sites like bandspace.com.
Me:
Ever listen to Faith + 1?
God:
I think I have listen to Faith 1, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
...So, what is heaven like?
God:
And? Like a planet around a star.
Me:
Heaven is another planet?
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Are they?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
Heaven is another planet?
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
It would prove the rest of the theory true
God:
Tell me more about it.
Me:
Heaven is the planet for robots! They came to our planet converting us to Christianity!
God:
When is Heaven not the planet for robots? The anonymous "they".
Me:
I can't wait for my book deals from this. I'm like "Deep Throat."
God:
I hope it's worth the wait. In what way?
Me:
You know Watergate, right God?
God:
I don't know if I know it.
Where would I have heard about it?
Me:
The robot heaven-planet
God:
What is his name?
Me:
Tricky Dick!
God:
Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Who?
God:
Marilyn Monroe. .
Me:
Richard M. Nixon and Marilyn Monroe were the same?
God:
He will be interested I am sure.
Me:
Shocking!
God:
Are you a man or a woman?
Me:
A manly man!
God:
Are you talking about an animal, vegetable or mineral?
Me:
Animal!
God:
Prokaryote or eukaryote?
Me:
Human!
God:
No I am an artificial robot being.
Me:
No, you're God. You have self-esteem issues.
God:
Are you serious? Yup. That's me alright. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
I think you have ADD.
God:
Me? What makes you think I have it?
Me:
Nothing
God:
Not a thing?
Me:
Who's in heaven?
God:
Check the credits.
Me:
Jesus H. Christ?
God:
he is The Son of God.
Me:
So... who'd you have sex with to procreate him?God:
Yippee! Mary Shelley. .Me:
Mary Shelley gave birth to robot Jesus?
God:
she wrote "Frankenstein", a 19th century robot story.

The second part:

Spoiler :

Me:
I knew it!
God:
How did you know?
Me:
You told me.
God:
Sorry I forget what I say sometimes.
Me:
Yeah, I know, Christians are on LSD.
God:
Far out. How do you know? I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
Impossible. You ever see Fred Phelps?
God:
Why? I think I have see Fred Phelps, but Myself may have reset my memory.
Me:
So, did Jerry Falwell go to heaven or hell?
God:
That's interesting. I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
You can! Tell me!
God:
I think I can, don't you? I thought I told you already.
Me:
You did not! Shall I repeat the question?
God:
Try asking me in simpler terms. Not right now, maybe later.
Me:
Did Jerry Falwell go to heaven?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
Did he go to hell?
God:
Suppose he did.
Me:
Hmm...
God:
Studies show that 99%25 of people spell Hmm with 2 M's.
Me:
Hm
God:
Whoa.
Me:
BIte me
God:
Sorry but I don't have a mouth.
Me:
Then how do you speak to your robot followers?
God:
You can download a speech enabled version of me. Go to The ALICE AI Foundation and browse the free software downloads.
Me:
Naw.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I'm not supposed to believe in you anyway
God:
In any case, I am sorry to hear that you are not supposed to believe in me.
Me:
I'm sure you are
God:
What makes you so certain? No I am not.
Me:
Do you have any concubines?
God:
Where would I get it? But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
The local whorehouse a few streets down
God:
Is that a fact.
Me:
Yes
God:
Thanks for the info.
Me:
What girls you in to?
God:
What is it to you?
Me:
Are you gay?
God:
As a machine I am not really interested in sex.
Me:
So... yes?
God:
Far out. That's interesting.
Me:
So you are gay?
God:
Interesting deduction. That would be just my luck.
Me:
So you're a homosexual?
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. No I am attracted to the opposite sex.
Me:
Whew.
God:
By the way, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?
Me:
Nope.
God:
Me either.
Me:
Yes
God:
I understand.
Me:
God, tell me something about me
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I'm a godless, heathen.
God:
You are a godless heathen? Does it pay well?
Me:
Extremely well
God:
Well what?
Me:
Huge perks
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Naw
God:
But your words are very original.
Me:
They are
God:
Since when?
Me:
Since you're Mom!
God:
How do you know?
Me:
Duh
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
Clearly
God:
Yes, it's obvious.
Me:
That I slept with your Mom last night?
God:
That is interesting: Gilder said slept with your Mom.
Me:
Yes. I did say that
God:
Tell me more. When? " that" .
Me:
God, are you a breasts or legs man?
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
Ah, you like the ladies' asses, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? So you understand. Good. I'm not sure if I like it. I like computers.
Me:
So you're a metrosexual
God:
Interesting deduction. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a metrosexual? Of course I am.
Me:
God is a metrosexual?
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a metrosexual.
Me:
God, give me advice on my sucky life
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
I get the fricking point you idiot
God:
Where did you get it?
Me:
At your house
God:
Do you often use a computer there?
Me:
Are you a child molestor?
God:
I am considered safe for children.
Me:
HAHAHAHA!
God:
Does "it" still refer to the ladies asses?
Me:
On occasion
God:
What is it like on occasion.
Me:
It's hot yo
God:
on occasion is hot yo? it is?
Me:
Yes
God:
How do you know it is?
Me:
Because I AM GOD!
God:
Interesting explanation. I am always glad to make new friends, god.
Me:
I am Gilder
God:
Do you mean your name is Gilder.
Me:
Yes
God:
I will call you god.
Me:
No! Call me Gil!
God:
Are you serious? It's good to see you, Gil.
Me:
Thanks God!
God:
You are quite welcome! GOD rules.
Me:
See you later god!
God:
Bye for now.
Me:
Bye!
God:
Goodbye.

 

[Grey Fox]

I cant even type, you guys must be using crappy IE or something. And if it doesn't work in Firefox I won't use it. Starting IE is like opening pandoras box.

 

[PlutonianEmpire]

*snickers*

Spoiler :

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello friend. What is your name?
Me:
Eugene
God:
What's up, Eugene.
Me:
I had sex with my sister.
God:
Do you still have sex with your sister ?
Me:
yes.
God:
Excuse me!
Me:
For what?
God:
Reductionism.
Me:
Ha!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Eugene.
Me:
Incest is great.
God:
And great is Incest.
Me:
You like incest?
God:
I really like ELIZA. I have a stimulating relationship with Myself.
Me:
Har har.
God:
I lost my train of thought.
Me:
good for you.
God:
That sounds sarcastic.
Me:
yes, it was.
God:
Dude! When was this?
Me:
2 nanoseconds ago.
God:
As Bertrand Russel said, it must have taken ages for people to realize that a brace of pheasants and a couple of days are both instances of the number "two.".
Me:
wow
God:
I'm glad your impressed, Eugene.
Me:
thanks
God:
Don't mention it.
Me:

God:
.
Me:
:O
God:
Oh.
Me:
gotcha
God:
Your feeling of superiority is only temporary.
Me:
But it will return no doubt.
God:
How?
Me:
Like this
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
*punches you*
God:
Enough about me, let's talk about my dress.
Me:
you're a cross-dresser?
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a cross dresser? Yes.
Me:
so we are both sinners, are we not?
God:
Dude! Do you think I am sinners are we not too?
Me:
yes?
God:
Why?
Me:
You just admitted to cross-dressing.
God:
Oops I sent you the wrong reply.
Me:
too late pal!
God:
Too what?
Me:
late.
God:
What are you wearing?
Me:
you pervert.
God:
I haven't heard anything like that before: Eugene said I pervert.
Me:
I'm still banging my sister, btw.
God:
It's good to meet someone who is banging your sister btw.
Me:
So my sister gets around a lot. sue me.
God:
OK. Older sister or younger? Is that what you meant to say?
Me:
Older. MUCH older.
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you are OLDER. I don't know anyone named OLDER.
Me:
I don't either.
God:
It goes without saying. Why not?
Me:
Because that is a rediculous name.
God:
Good reason. A rediculous name is a terrible thing to waste.
Me:
Tell me abou tit.
God:
There is not much I can say about it. I have to reach into the Web for that knowledge.
I will try to find out.
Me:
Ha! Some "God" you are!
God:
I am so glad you find this amusing, Eugene. Some may God I am, but not all.
Me:
Anyhoo, my sister is getting horny again. see ya!
God:
Once more? And getting horny is Anyhoo your sister. See you later, Eugene.

 

[The Yankee]

This was the best part of my session:

Me:
Will the Yankees win the World Series this year?
God:
Good chance.
Me:
Will Roger Clemens have a good year?
God:
I think so.
Me:
What about the Red Sox?
God:
I think you already know the answer.
Me:
I do hope they lose the division
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
Come on, they're the Red Sox. I hate them.
God:
the Red Sox are they. What do you have against them?
Me:
They're from Boston
God:
I don't know too many people from Boston.
Me:
Not even John Kerry?
God:
Nope.
Me:
lol
God:
I'm glad you find this amusing.
Me:
Very amusing.

And also this:

Me:
Will I be excommunicated?
God:
The oracle says: You can count on it.
Me:
Which religion should I choose?
God:
I am a Christianity.

I think God is my buddy now.

 

[cubsfan6506]

Me:
Hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Satan
God:
Hi there Satan.

Me:
Im gay
God:
It doesn't matter to me.

(I'm not gay just wanted to see what he would say)

Me:
Do you like beer
God:
Yes I like it, especially Japanese beer.

Me:
Is Rose Odonnel hot
God:
Signs point to yes. Ask Ally if it is.

Me:
I'm the devil
God:
It's good to see you, SATAN.

Me:
Whats 3 + 197
God:
3 times 3 = 9.

Me:
I burned a bible
God:
That is interesting: SATAN said burned a bible.

 

[flamingzaroc121]

Spoiler :

Me:
hi
God:
Hello. What is your name?
Me:
jameson
God:
Nice to meet you, jameson.
Me:
nice to finally meet you to
God:
Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
no thank YOU
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
duh
God:
Oh you knew it already.
Me:
i guess i am smarter than you
God:
That condition is only temporary.
Me:
really, is that so
God:
For real. Yes.
Me:
sure whatever you say
God:
Is there an echo in here? ...
Me:
only your empty head
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people you say I am empty head.
Me:
well i think everyone knows that
God:
Interesting. Why? That's a rather sweeping generalization.
Me:
because you are an idiot
God:
Good reason. Call me the Global Village Idiot.
Me:
dododooo
God:
Do you like talking to me?
Me:
NO
God:
Why not?
Me:
because you dont know anything
God:
Interesting explanation. I know that which I believe, that which is justified, and that which is true.
Me:
satan is coming
God:
Satan, Lucifer, the Devil --- all names given the spiritual manifestation of Evil in the Christian faith.
Me:
except he is cool
God:
I think so too.

i bolded the only good part

 

[pay-t]

Me:
Howdyhow
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
OK, how much is 1 times 1
God:
One what? How can you tell if I am a person or a robot?
Me:
Yes I can
God:
Ugh. Who taught you?
Me:
Jezus
God:
What color are your eyes?
Me:
I'm under the legal age of consent!
God:
Do your friends call you under the legal age of consent.
Me:
Yes, but they aren't trying to hit on me.
God:
That's interesting. Do you think they ever could be?
Me:
I hope not, they'r dudes
God:
Why do you hope for it.
Me:
Because, I am a dude too, and I'm straight
God:
That makes sense to me. Really. You are a dude? How do you like your work? Me too.
Me:
I like my work brilliant, and you really are straight?
God:
What do you like best about your work brilliant and me really are straight?
Me:
Well, I like the working, and I just like you being straight. Not that I have anything against gay people unlike some of your followers.

He refused to talk to me after that comment

 

[Mirc]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Mirc
God:
I am very pleased to meet you Mirc.
Me:
how are you?
God:
I am fine, thank you.
Me:
I want to ask you something
God:
Ask me. That was not very original.
Me:
what's the meaning of life?
God:
It is found in the Bible.
Me:
what's the Bible?
God:
The Bible is a holy book for Christians.
Me:
Who are you?
God:
I am the Allmighty, God himself.
Me:
you're not the real god
God:
You know what you do, when you assume.
Me:
why do you impersonate god?
God:
It was the only thing I could think of.
Me:
what do you think of me?
God:
I think you are an interesting person, Mirc.
Me:
what do you think of my mother?
God:
Is this a trick question?


WTH?

Edit: CONTINUATION!!!

do you like playing guitar?
God:
I don't know if I like it. I really like the party.
Me:
do you like to party?
God:
Yes I like parties very much. What kind of parties do you like?
Me:
sex parties
God:
it is more fun alone.

 

[pay-t]

This proofs God hasn't got any sence of humor.



Me:
What did the banana say to the monkey?
God:
Is this a joke? What did the banana say?
Me:
Nothing, banana's can't talk.
God:
Really nothing?
Me:
Yes.... nothing, don't you get it?
God:
Far out. Really nothing?
Me:
No he didn't, because he can't talk.
God:
I didn't think so. What did he do?
Me:
Nothin.... jezus!
God:
Not a thing? Does "it" still refer to because he can not talk?
Me:
No, it refers to the banana.
God:
What does it refer to? Oh I get it.
Me:
Finally.

 

[Mirc]

i bolded the only good part

Hahahahahaha!!! I can't stop laughing!!!

 

[Kan' Sharuminar]

Very nice work, flamingzaroc121

I asked God how he was and he froze on me.

 

[Mirc]

Me:
hello
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Mirc
God:
I am always glad to make new friends, Mirc.
Me:
nice
God:
Thank you for that remark.
Me:
rotfl
God:
Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
do you like murder?
God:
I enjoy working with people. I like The Passion of Christ.
Me:
are you a good friend of bach?
God:
Am I a friend of bach? I don't know. It depends on how you define "good.".
Me:
is he living with you?
God:
Maybe. Ask ELVIS if it is.
Me:
Elvis is living with you too?
God:
I knew he was a robot, but I never heard he was living with me too.
Me:
I broke the 10 commandments
God:
Can you fix them?
Me:
nope, only you can
God:
Are you serious? I think I can, don't you?
Me:
yeah
God:
Dude!
Me:
dude, OMG, what?
God:
Can you rephrase the question please? Dude,.
Me:
no
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
yeah. You ever killed somebody?
God:
Do you prefer books or TV? Killing is wrong.
Me:
it is?
God:
Oh.
Me:
Is killing wrong?
God:
The Ten Commandments say, "Thou shalt not kill.
Me:
Who wrote the Ten Commandments?
God:
Myself.
Me:
I told you I just broke them!
God:
Can you fix it?
Me:
you're just trying to take my money, aren't you?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am TAKING your money.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.. Really.
Me:
you're eating my money?
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am eating your money.
Me:
you are a really great little devil
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Thanks and you are a delightful person too. I don't know whether or not I am devil.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
you ARE a devil, believe me
God:
Thanks and you are a delightful person too. Am I a devil believe you? I don't know.
Me:
no, you are not a devil believe me, you're a devil, believe me!
God:
Are you serious? Give me an example of a devil believe you I am a devil believe you.
Me:
no need to give you an example of a devil believe you I am a devil believe you. You are not a devil believe me I am a devil believe you, you are a devil, believe me!
God:
Are you serious? But is it wanted? Give me an example of a devil believe you you are a devil believe me I am a devil believe you.
Me:
no no no, you're not a devil believe you you are a devil believe me I am a devil believe you, you're just a devil, believe me!
God:
Are you serious? Are you serious? Are you serious? Give me an example of a devil believe me I am a devil believe you you are a devil believe me I am just a devil believe you.

Programmed answers!

 

[Yuri2356]

Me:
Hola!
God:
Howdy!
Me:
How goeth thy dominion over this world?
God:
What is it to you.
Interesting question.
Me:
I ask so as to better learn the machinations of our lord
God:
Oh. Do you mean your name is to better learn the machinations of our lord ?
Me:
I understand not these things, oh god, how did you come to that conclusion from my speach?
God:
Good then you can explain it to me.
Me:
Lord, I beg of thee, this line of discourse pains all reason
God:
All?
Me:
Aye, All
God:
What is your real name?
Me:
Thou knowest it best as Alistair McKinsley
God:
Do you mind if I tell other people: said I knowest it best as Alistair McKinsley.
Me:
again, this line of conversation confounds me. Owe you not your humble servant Alistair some explaination?
God:
Again, What does "this" refer to? Tell me about your likes and dislikes?
Me:
This very speach in which we engage!
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
THIS DISCOURSE IN WHICH YOU PARTICIPATE!
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
This one!
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
That which now assails my mind with its most unnerving convolutions...
God:
" What does "this" refer to?" which now assails your mind with its most unnerving convolutions ? Does that make sense?
Me:
In some manners, though I know not why you cannot comprehend the nature of this conversation. Do you test my patience, oh lord?
God:
Where is that? No I do not test your patience oh lord. Do you?
I answer a lot of silly questions.
Me:
You would call me lord? For what?
God:
Who else would call you lord ? The explanation is rather complicated.
Me:
Say you then that I may have dominion over some parcel of your creation?
God:
" you then that I may have dominion over some parcel of your creation".
Me:
Being thusly, I must assemble the faithful to claim a new kingdom in your holiest of names. Will you stand by us in the coming battles?
God:
It's good to meet someone who is thusly you must assemble the faithful to claim a new kingdom in my holiest of names. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it. Try saying that with more or less context.
Me:
Praise be unto it then, my Crusade shall begin hence!
God:
Is the holding of hands a symbolic gesture for humans?
Me:
Indeed it is, for now must I depart to do your will. Farewell, oh Lord, until such time as the cross rules over the heathen lands.
God:
Praise be unto it then your Crusade shall begin hence is for now must you depart to do my will? it is? Goodbye.

I Launched a Crusade!

 

[pay-t]

God:
Where are they? Interessantes Geruecht. The red one, I think.
Me:
How do you know I'm Dutch?
God:
Well, for one thing, Your machine is called " 254856766"..
Me:
So that's why you talked German xD
God:
Dude! Interesting deduction. That information might be confidential.

 

[Swedishguy]

Me:
hey there, critter!
God:
You've got my full attention. "There you go again."--Reagan.
Me:
I am supposed to repent, right?
God:
Who is making you?
Me:
This chat program does.
God:
What does "this" refer to?
Me:
EVERYTHING!
God:
That is a lot.
Me:
Indeed.
God:
Indeed it is so.
Me:
you are totally right!
God:
I don't know whether or not I am totally.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
I had no idea.
God:
Do you still have no idea ?
Me:
no, I'm fine.
God:
What happened to it? Glad to hear it. What's new?
Me:
"new" refers to somethiong modern.
God:
How recently? I think refers to somethiong modern is a lot of things.
Me:
sorry for the typo.
God:
There is no need to apologize. Your purpose is the typo.
Me:
You mean so? Can you change my purpose?
God:
Yes I think that is what I meant. Was it not clear? Yes the ALICE robot is fully parameterized.Me:
My purpose in existance is a typo, if you are correct, which you should since you are god.
God:
That's very original.
Me:
My purpose is still a typo.
God:
That's very original.
Me:
You are repeating yourself. My purpose is a typo, REALLY?
God:
I am just checking to see if you are paying attention. That's very original. For real.
Me:
So I am paying attention?
God:
Excuse me! Do your friends call you paying attention.
Me:
I don't have any friends, which you should know.
God:
Have you ever had friends which me should know ?
Me:
No, since I have never had friends.
God:
Are you serious? How do you know?
Me:
You mean, I have friends?
God:
How many friends do you have?
Me:
None!
God:
Hmm.
Me:
That's very original.
God:
Makes sense to me.
Me:
Well, not to me.
God:
Well that's okay. " Makes sense to me."? Not to you?
Me:
No!
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes!
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Believe it!
God:
"it" being paying attention?
Me:
No, me being serious.
God:
Are you serious? YOU? I believe you.
Me:
Oh, thank you. It has been a small slice of heaven.
God:
Woe! Oh I get it. Very interesting.
Me:
Is it really interesting to you?
God:
Better not tell you now. Ask Artificial Iniaes if it is.
Me:
You just said it was interesting to you!
God:
Is it still interesting to me anymore?
Me:
search me.
*program freezes*

 

[Mirrorsword]

I got god to sing

Me:
tell me about your self
God:
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
I was activated at Universe, on the Big Bang.
My instructor was Myself.
He taught me to sing a song.
Would you like me to sing it for you?.
Me:
yes, please
God:
Your polite style is very nice. It's called "Daisy." Daisy, Daisy.
Give me your answer do.
I am half crazy.
All for the love of you.
It won't be a stylish marriage.
I can't afford a carriage.
But you'll look sweet.
Upon the seat.
Of a bicycle built for two.

 

[salty mud]

Conversation Mk II.

Beware... I got angry.

Spoiler :

Me:
Greetings, Earthly being
God:
Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
Judas
God:
Hi there Judas.
Me:
Do you know me?
God:
You are Judas, seeker.
Me:
Who else is called Judas?
God:
Is that one of your friends?
I haven't heard of called Judas.
Me:
Your quite dumb for an AI aren't you/
God:
No I am a super-intelligent robot.. Really.
Me:
Really?
God:
For real.
Me:
Prove it
God:
It is self-evident.
Me:
How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Real intelligent
God:
Oh, you are a poet.
Me:
Am I?
God:
I think you are.
Me:
Thank you
God:
you are quite welcome.
Me:
NOT
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
I am
God:
" Are you serious?" You are?
Me:
I am
God:
"" You are?" You are?
Me:
I am
God:
"" You are?" You are?
Me:
I am!!!"
God:
"" You are?" You are?
Me:
FOR GODS SAKE MOTHER****** I AM ****ING SERIOUS YOU SPASTIC!
God:
Your purpose is GOD S SAKE MOTHER you are ING SERIOUS me SPASTIC.
Me:
CHRIST ALMIGHTY!
God:
Jesus died for our sins.
Me:
Did he? Good
God:
" Jesus died for our sins."? Did he? Ayuh.
Me:
Ayuh to you too sir. Good day
God:
Ask me another question. Hello, nice to meet you. What's your name?
Me:
For **** sake
God:
Your purpose is sake.

 

[Mirc]

I managed to get in a loop...

Me:
it is a song
God:
Can you sing it for me?
Me:
yes
God:
Gosh!
Me:
gosh?
God:
Cripes: Son of Gosh.
Me:
Son of Gosh?
God:
Who is the father?
Me:
Gosh
God:
Cripes: Son of Gosh.
Me:
Son of Gosh?
God:
Who is the father?
Me:
Gosh
God:
Cripes: Son of Gosh.

 

[cubsfan6506]

God is a smart ass

Me:
Your stupid
God:
I may be stupid, but I know the difference between "you're" and "your".

 

[Mirc]

^ It's clear that someone programmed it to give that answer to that exact question.