Imperium OffTopicum XIV

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We're already making the necessary preparations.
 
Somewhere outside of Cologne...

"...and on the situation in Indonesia, I only have to say one thing. Peace in the Pacific region will never come as long as patriarchal states attempt to perform sexual imperialism on a peaceful, feminist state. While the world continues to blame Indonesia like a man blames a woman for being raped, France will have Indonesia's back, until the very end..."

"Did she just say that imperialism was rape?" one of the GSG-9 officers near the large map of Germany shouted over.

"Among other things," a female officer watching the televised speech said. "Funny, I don't remember learning about country rape in geography. What does that make the Australians, then? Friends with benefits?"

Laughter echoed around the room as the door opened. Salutes were shot in the direction of the tall, black-haired man wearing a commander's uniform who entered, clutching a ream of papers in one hand and a steaming cup of coffee in one. Suspiciously, he glanced at the television set before joining the group at the table.

"I heard someone say rape," he commented.

"French President on the set."

"That explains it," the commander said between sips of his coffee. "Better her spouting the rape analogies then a schoolgirl in Dusseldorf with a bomb under her jacket. Why are you watching her rant anyway?"

"We aren't watching her, Colonel Sunshine," one of the other officers commented with a touch of sarcasm. "We were actually sitting through this until we got to the Kaiserin's big announcement today."

"Well, when you're done vegetating, I have some reports to go over," the commander said irritably. "The signals coming from Paris are bound to stir up some radicals, and I want everyone-"

"Guys, here she is!" the female officer shouted over the top of him. Two other officers accosted him and soon the commander found himself sitting in front of the TV, largely against his own will.

"You're going to watch the announcement whether you like it or not, sir," the officer holding his left arm said plaintively.

"And now," the TV announced happily. "A special announcement from the esteemed Claudia Hapsburg, Kaiserin of the German Empire!"

The commander watched morosely as the camera focused on the Kaiserin. Wearing a scarf to protect against what must have been a chilling wind, she swept her long black hair from her eyes and began her speech. She mostly talked about the issues with France and Russia, stating how they would always try to seek peace with their neighbors, but that they would respond swiftly to Russian aggression against their Roman allies. She ended the announcement discussing some of the laws going through the legislature and most importantly, at least for the officers holding their CO hostage in front of the television, some changes to her staff.

"...and last, but not least," the Kaiserin concluded, "I have decided to appoint GSG-9 Colonel Frederick Gerani to the position of Minister of the Interior."

Everyone crowded around the television cheered and applauded at the announcement, except for commander Frederic Gerani who just looked grumpy. He made a move to get out of the chair, but instead found a small box pressed into his hand.

"What's this?" he demanded.

"You have to open it first, sir!" someone said. Gerani looked at everyone in turn, then gave a deep sigh and opened it up.

"The hell is...?" he started, holding out for everyone to see. "A gold wristwatch?"

"We all pitched in for it, sir," one of the officers said proudly. "Think of it as a good luck present from the organization."

"I can't accept this, you must have spent a fortune..."

"Sir," the female officer said seriously. "Without you, this organization wouldn't have been the same, or even existed for that matter. Between how you took down the Archduke assassins and how you saved the lives of twenty innocents during Bleeding Amsterdam, there's no one in the world that we would have rather served under, and we want to thank you for the years you spent here. Besides..." she added with a guilty smile. "I lost the receipt for that watch."

Frederick cracked a slight smile. "Well, I'm not leaving for Berlin until tomorrow..."

"Damn, we'll have to cancel the party," another officer joked, shaking his head sadly.

"...and until then, I'm going to make sure GSG-9 is up to my standards before I hand it off to whoever is next in line," Gerani concluded, taking on a more serious tone. "And it will stay that way, won't it?"

"You bet, commander."

"Good," Gerani said, opening up a map of downtown Berlin. "I'll be damned before I let the French outclass us, or god forbid the Russians. Now then, let's run over our hostage scenario once more..."

As Frederick went over the details of the plan once more, the phone in his pocket vibrated. Taking a quick glance at the Caller ID while the others went over the Capital entrances, he raised his eyebrows in mild surprise.


Z. Ostuzhev

---

Berlin, Germany

"I HATE January," Kaiserin Claudia said as she strode through the front doors of the palace and into the nearby meeting room, peeling the scarf and warm jacket off of her and discarding them on random coat racks nearby. "None of the fun of December and November, it just sits there being cold and miserable..."

Claudia instantly became aware that she had interrupted a legislative meeting with her anti-January rant. Blushing slightly, she apologized before beating a hasty retreat from the room, shutting the door behind her with a mortified expression. Shortly after, Hans Norup came through the door, shaking snow flurries off of his jacket. Fuming, Claudia stormed up to him.

"You could have told me that they were using that room for a meeting!" she shouted.

"If you would have waited up, I was going to tell you just that," Hans said apologetically. "There was an issue with the new central heating unit and the senators wanted a warm room to meet in."

The two of them glared at one another, Claudia moreso then Hans, before the former's expression softened slightly.

"Damn it Hans," Claudia said with an annoyed tone. "You're too cute to stay mad at!"

"I get that a lot," Hans said, grinning slightly. "And to be fair, what are they going to do? You pretty much OWN that room."

"Yeah, but I do have standards," Claudia said, starting to walk down the hall towards the guest room. "It's not exactly proper protocol to barge into a room full of elected officials and decry Father Winter."

"If you cared about proper protocol, you'd be dating a prince instead of your bodyguard," Hans pointed out.

"Who says I'm not dating both?" she said with a smile.

"I'm flattered. And slightly nauseated."

Claudia laughed before giving a slight shiver. Hans reached over to put his arm around her shoulders, hugging her warmly.

"I think I can get away with delegating the rest of my tasks once the meeting with the Romans is over," Claudia said thoughtfully as they reached the door to the room where the Roman diplomats were waiting. "Maybe I'll take a break for the rest of the day. Watch a few movies, read a few books, maybe even curl up in front of the fire with someone special, hmm?"

"Sounds like fun," Hans said with a wink. Still grinning, Claudia reached over to give Hans Norup a kiss, which he responded to in full. After a moment or two, they both remembered that she needed to meet with the Romans before they caused an international incident. Clearing her throat, she reached for the door handle, then paused.

"I'm thinking The Princess Bride," she said thoughtfully. "Do you like that one?"

"Never even heard of it."

Claudia narrowed her eyes again as she reached for the door again. "That does put a damper on our relationship," she muttered.
 
Roman Empire elects heir

because the Roman Empire is at war against Russia, and Constantinople right on the black sea, Emperor Theodoros I Komnenos has ordered the senate to elect someone in case the Emperor dies if Constantinople is taken.

the Senate has decided to elect someone with a military skill, one known as Basil. if he becomes the Emperor, he shall be Basil I Komnenos.

(yes, i basically made it an Elective Absolute Monarchy. it makes sense.)
 
Oh God, I can hear the carriers from here...

KaiserElectric said:
"Funny, I don't remember learning about country rape in geography."
Click to expand...
Evidently, she never heard of Hetalia. :mischief:
 
Salisbury Daily​
Rhodesia - 5 Rhodesian Shillings (RHS)
Mozambique - 10 Mozambique Pesos (MZP)
South Africa - 30 Viljoenrand (VIR)
Equatoria - 100 Francs Africains (FAF)
Congo - 100 Francs Africains (FAF)
Sudan - 40 Sudanese Dinars (DIS)
Cameroon - 100 Francs Africains (FAF)
Uganda - 60 Ugandan Shilings (UGS)
Tanganyika - 30 Nyeres (TAN)
Botswana - 6 Pula (BWP)
Madagascar - 8 RHS, 15 MZP, 10 BWP, 38 VIR
​
Malagasy Elections - Isithembe first President, Kolo to be Ambassador to AF
In a great occasion, the first elections of the Malagasy republic are in!
Of the presidential candidates, former Governor Robert Isithembe won in a narrow election, with 53% of the vote. In an act of reconciliation he has made competitor Jean-Paul Kolo the Malagasy ambassador to the African Federation. Isithembe is to recieve Madagascar's council seat in a formal ceremony at the AF headquarters in Bulawayo, New Rhodesia. Presidents Farraday (Liberals) of New Rhodesia and Dutoit (Vryheidsfront) of South Africa are among those who have congratulated the new president.
Madagascar's currency and flag debate
Following the proclamation of the Malagasy Republic, there have been calls for an own currency and flag.
So far it seems the currency will be the Malagasy Ariary, however the flag is not quite clear yet.
Three proposals have been made:

The First Proposal is based directly on the former flag of Madagascar, and was put forward by Isithembe's coalition. As it is also the flag of said coalition there has been some controversy over the proposal.

The Second Proposal embraces a French background as well as colors similar to Old Madagascar. It appears to be a favorite for the party of Jean-Paul Kolo, the man who lost the election, so it may not become the flag.

This third proposal, made by a committee of other AF nations, would be preferred by the AF but once again it isn't a clear winner. The pentagram and similarities to Morocco have also caused some controversy.
 
OOC: In honor of my birthday which was yesterday, I'm gonna give out a freebie.

IC : GEAR Offering Military alliance, NAP, trade agreement, military aid and access , healthcare aid, free copies of Dota 5 and cheap trips to tourist attractions within GEAR to the first non-Indonesia nation who claims them.
 
ChesterBannington said:
OOC: In honor of my birthday which was yesterday, I'm gonna give out a freebie.

IC : GEAR Offering Military alliance, NAP, trade agreement, military aid and access , healthcare aid, free copies of Dota 5 and cheap trips to tourist attractions within GEAR to the first non-Indonesia nation who claims them.
Click to expand...

the Roman Empire claims the offer.
 
Welp, Russia's about to get a helluva lot more interesting. :popcorn:

Has Bair dropped?
 
Off the face of the earth, it seems. I haven't seen him around much.
 
The proceeding programme is brought to you in part by Civ'ed.


I am Walid al-Faris Mansakir, welcome back to Around the World. As Anatolia once more becomes the fulcrum of international conflict, Jerusalem prepares itself for the ever-present threat of a fight reaching to its doorstep. One country already taking keen interest in recent developments is the United Arab Republic's long-time ally, the African Federation. Earlier today I had the opportunity for an extended interview with Minister of Foreign Affairs Robert Hood to discuss the issues confronting both countries.


WM: Foreign Minister, good afternoon.

RH: Good afternoon, Mr. Mansakir. It is truly wonderful to be here, and to answer any questions you may have for us.

WM: To begin, I wish to discuss the recent Russian declaration of war on the Byzantine Empire. As well everyone knows, that country's repeated blunders have made it an international laughingstock, and many claimed it was only a matter of time before a neighbour state took unilateral action to shut it up. Rhodesia initially expressed interest in joining the Russian invasion. What is the government's position regarding the war?

RH: Rhodesia has always expresed interest in seeing the antics of the Romans brought to an end, and has always supported Russia and the UAR in the matter of seeing action taken. However, the older governments had a few issues regarding transport. Hopefully with the Cape-Cairo railway we can see some action taken, however we do not wish to anger our friends in Germany. As such our Presidents have adopted a stance of neutrality.

WM: Some observers claim the war is an expansionist bid by Russia to extend its imperial reach into Anatolia, pointing to its annexation of the Greek peninsula as precedent. How would such intent modify the African Federation's position on the conflict?

RH: Russia's interference in Greece was a clear attempt to remove a rogue state and it succeeded marvellously. Of course, Arabia may not like it, but Russia is a very strong power in the area and Anatolia will do well under it's guise, although a international zone would be preferable.

WM: Moving from the regional to the international stage, the Indonesian government's recent decision to suspend food exports to nearly every country has provoked a wave of furor over what portends to be the worst humanitarian crisis since the last world war. How have recent developments affected the African Federation, and how is the government planning to confront the looming shortage?

RH: The AF, as one of the few nations with agricultural capabilities, is still hit hard by the Indonesian policy. We need to establish concrete supply lines with, say, GEAR or the UAR we can come through this crisis. It will be hard, but this is the New Africa and the New Africa leaves no one behind.

WM: Observers contend that this crisis was precipitated by Indonesia's virtual monopoly on BulkProd Food, and a number of countries, chiefly Thailand and Malta, have expressed intent in direct action to break the embargo. Critics charge that doing so will only jeopardize production facilities and may even push Yogyakarta to extreme measures. Is military intervention a conscionable means of resolving the crisis, or will it simply aggravate the situation further?

RH: Unfortunately, intense direct action may not aid us in keeping a stable food source. Thailand's expressions in bombing power plants may affect bulkprod production. However neither side must get a monopoly on foodstuffs, and the AF is always willing to set up similar businesses to prevent global famines not seen since 2086.

WM: On the subject of Thailand, its military incursions into Indonesia began prior to the embargo, and are strongly suspected to have triggered it. Bangkok asserts its campaign is humanitarian, but recent months have seen steady mission creep culminating in an imminent ground invasion, and critics charge that four years is too long for Thailand to plausibly claim it is acting in defence of the ousted democratic government. How does the African Union regard the Thai military venture?

RH: Unfortunately the Thai calls of "isolationism" have quickly disappeared and been replaced by something I could best describe as "Japan lite", with the humanitarian aspect having turned into shameless conquest. While we do not approve of the actions of the Indonesian government it has every much a right to exist as Equatoria or Persia. If it were up to us we would probably see the Thai advance halted, and begun negotiations, but unfortunately the esteemed emperor does not regard talking as a valid option.

WM: Indeed, political analysts note the large degree of collusion between Chancellor Shinawatra and the new Emperor, and have drawn parallels to the late Japanese empire's political culture. Australia has stated that continued Thai aggression will not be tolerated. Rhodesia was one of the original participants in the UN mission to Vietnam and witnessed first-hand how quickly a dictatorial régime turned from humanitarianism to imperialism; do you think Asia is heading toward a second regional war?

RH: In the 19th century, Germany was a hotbed of conflict. In the 20th, it was the Balkans and in the 21st the Middle East offered some spectacular fireworks. Asia shall be the 22nd century's version of these, as sad as it is. In fact a regional war has already been concieved and shall probably explode on the scene if Thailand is not halted.

WM: The African Federation originally enacted an embargo against Thailand, citing economic concerns, but repealed this decision after Indonesia severed exports. What prompted the government to recant?

RH: The government realised that if Indonesia was going to shun the international community then something would have to be done, but this was before Thailand turned down the Japanese path and started hitting targets of little military value. The Council of Presidents is currently looking at a revision of the diplomatic policy.

WM: To conclude, I would like to touch upon the state of relations between the African Federation and United Arab Republic. Jerusalem and Salisbury have enjoyed cordial ties for many years; how would you describe the present atmosphere between our countries?

RH: The UAR and AF have some of the friendliest relations in the world, with events such as the Cape-to-Cairo route being maintained by both sides. However, we must always strive to improve and perfect that which is good already, so that nothing may go wrong. A worst case scenario as far as the AF can see is relations staying merely cordial.

WM: Where in particular do you think opportunities exist for closer collaboration?

RH: Greater Cooperation can exist in the maintaining of Transafrican and transcontinental trade routes and the sharing of resources, especially in regards to Indonesia's embargo. And although the AF is not a UN member, more peacekeeping opportunities will quite likely arise in Asia once more, so there can be cooperation there.

WM: The Cape to Cairo railway has been touted as the greatest feat of engineering in the past 100 years. Mr. Amirmuaz is on record stating that one of the ancillary goals of creating the Pan-African Railway Company was to bankroll the re-establishment of local governments along the line's route. Does the African Federation see the project as a possible means of continental resuscitation?

RH: The AF and New Rhodesia before it found it greatly important to see a reemergent Africa. we must cross cultural and tribal bonds, like Samatar Barre, leader of the African Cultural Reconciliation Comission does. The realization of one of Cecil Rhodes' dreams is of course a most prestigious occasion for us, and the continet will surely benefit from profits.

WM: Lastly, the African Federation withdrew from the United Nations in 2106 over complaints that the General Assembly was effectively being run by the United Arab Republic. Given that Salisbury and Jerusalem have otherwise seen eye-to-eye on most international issues, the grievance was unexpected and seen as out-of-character even for the isolationist government at the time. Has the government's opinion changed since then?

RH: At the time the UN was, and this is a fair point to make from an area considered third world and irrelevant since the 1960s, mostly run by the UAR and the little input from other nations apart from "yea" and "nay" led to us leaving. Nowadays, we see the UN as still only interested in that of large nations, so we use our Federation for African diplomacy instead.

WM: What would encourage the African Federation to rejoin the General Assembly as a full member?

RH: The African Federation would join the General Assembly if it could be guaranteed that all nations, not just a few, are listened to, and that no one nation may ever become most powerful. A dream once dreamed by the original UN in the 1940s, but since long gone.

WM: Foreign Minister, thank you for your time.

RH: It was my pleasure.


I spoke with Foreign Minister Robert Hood in our Jerusalem studio earlier today.

When we return, I speak with sociologist Dr. Saffiya bint Nabil al-Adhem on why Fourth-Wave Feminism engenders a culture of oppression not only against men, but against women as well.
 
When we return, I speak with sociologist Dr. Saffiya bint Nabil al-Adhem on why Fourth-Wave Feminism engenders a culture of oppression not only against men, but against women as well.
Click to expand...

This better actually happen. :p

EDIT:

Also, now that I'm more aware about the Indonesian crisis, I rescind my embargo on Germany but instead embargo Malta. Germany never DoWed Indonesia, so I don't really remember why I singled them out.

Embargo to Thailand still stands.
 
In the interest of diplomacy and unity we will also rescind our counter-embargo against France.
 
TV 7 NEWS

Chancellor Yingjang Shinawatra debunks "UAR-AF Propaganda"



- Simon Fox, Presenter of TV 7 News



- Chancellor Yingjang Shinawatra​

Simon: Welcome to TV7 News. This time, we have once again the esteemed Chancellor of Thailand, Yingjang Shinawatra, once again in our TV station. We shall talk about the war and the "UAR-AF propaganda", as the Chancellor has called the remarks made by the Minister of Foreign Affairs of the African Federation, Mr. Robert Hood. But first, let's welcome the Chancellor.

Yingjang: Welcome Simon. It is my honor to be able to talk here.

S: Thank you. You flatter us. Now, my first question is: what do you have to say to your critics who parallel your police action in Indonesia with Japan's imperialism?

Y: Clearly, such people have little to no knowledge of the situation in Indonesia and Thailand and try to awe and make a fuss with their ignorance and only superficial knowledge of the situation. I really hope that Mr. Robert Hood belongs to this category of people, for being ignorant does not mean being a bad person. But if he has knowledge of the situation and says those remarks, then this is even worse because it shows that he is a bad politician, a war hawk who uses propaganda to promote Imperialism.

It does not take too much knowledge of the situation for one to be able to realize that Thai intervention in Indonesia is more akin to the Iraq War, to use an example, than Japanese expansion in Vietnam. Military reports clearly show that civilian areas have been avoided. Ground troops are limited to 20,000 Marines, whose only mission will be to takeover strategic areas. The bombardment has been limited, and this can be verified by any independent NGO, to Military Bases, Army Units and Power Stations that power the Indonesian Military Bases.

I do not understand which civilian areas have been bombarded. Really, we have stated again and again, and the war reports can verify this, that we avoid civilian areas in our bombardment campaigns. Yet, out of nowhere, we are linked to Japanese Imperialism. Clearly, our critics are war hawks and/or racists who link every Asian military action, even minor, to "Japanese" Imperialism.

Also, I would like to know how Mr. Robert believes that Russia has the right to intervene with all out war at "destabilizing" neighboring nations and annex them, while Thailand, which has repeatedly supported Indonesian sovereignty and has stated again and again that after the war, an election supervised by the UN shall take place, are bad imperialists?

It does not make sense, at least in my mind. I hope that Mr. Robert shall reply to my question, but this esteemed politician will most probably ignore such questions which jeopardize his "All Asians are bad" ideology.

S: In the same TV program, you have been linked to Mr. Takeshi Ruchang, Shogun of Japan. What do you have to reply?

Y: Of course, as every Asian nation that takes military action is immediately called the "New Japan", it's political leader is immediately called the "New Ruchang". I would like to ask my critics in what sense have I resembled Mr. Takeshi? I am not a leader elected by the mob, but a Chancellor appointed by His Imperial Highness, the Emperor Rama XXVII, and reappointed by his successor, His Imperial Highness, the Emperor Sayammak I.

I have never held more power than any other Chancellor and if people from Western countries think that I hold too much power, it is because they compare their leaders, who are elected by the mob and have to account to it, with our Absolute and Enlightened Monarchy. I am accountable only to His Imperial Majesty.

Unlike Mr. Takeshi, I never overthrew a Parliament or banned political parties, because they do not exist in the first place. Also, I have never armed mobs to be used against my political opponents. Instead, I rely to the trust of the Emperor and my loyalty to the Emperor and the nation. I face my political enemies with my actions, not by using mobs or by suppressing them. And the Emperor can kick me out of my office whenever he wants. I am just his servant who tries to do his best for the Emperor and the nation.

So, let this "New Ruchang" propaganda campaign end. I have been offended by this comparison between me and a mass murderer. In all those years I have been Chancellor, almost 15 (since 2097), I have never ever used military action except for stopping Indonesian extremism and even in this case, I have avoided at all costs civilian casualties.

S: While I, as a presenter, must stay neutral, I have to agree with you on this last remark. Personal attacks against you and comparing you to Mr. Ruchang is a bit too far. Anyway, my next question is: what is the future of Thailand. Has the Indonesian War changed anything?

Y: Our future is a peaceful one. Economic expansion and creation of new industries. The police action against Indonesia is more of a temporary measure to stabilize the region than any long term plan. We wish continued trade and economic cooperation with our partners and a stable and peaceful East Asia.

S: What will be your policy towards UAR, your strongest critics?

Y: We hope that after our police action, and when they realize that our intentions are to suppress extremists and stabilize the region and not commit any kind of imperialism, relations between Thailand and UAR will stabilize once again and we can begin closer economic and trade relations.

S: Some critics of you cite that there is not much information about your personal life. What do you have to reply?

Y: I absolutely hate and disregard politicians who use their private life to gain political support. Private and public life should be differentiated. So, I have nothing more to say about this issue.

S: Thank you for coming here. I wish you a good day. I also wish a good day to all viewers. Have a good day!
 


UNITED QUEENDOM OF GREAT BRITAIN AND IRELAND

SPECTA TUAM VACTIONEM​



Government: Absolute Monarchical ******** Hellhole

Leader: Queen Elizabeth III and Queen Consort Victoria II

Description: The North Korea to France's China, these girls are completely insane. Implementing policies such as sperm harvesting, natinoal castration day and other horrifying things glorious methods to remove patriarchy, the UQ is here to spread the message of feminism worldwide.

France + United Queendom + Indonesia = REMOVE PATRIARCHY

Embargoing the Thailand Mandogs

(OOC: I'm fairly sure that my nation will be fairly stat-wise so I won't upset the balance of power worldwide too much. Hopefully. :p)
 
Omega124 said:
France happily recognizes the existence of a fellow feminist state in Europe, and offers a defensive pact with it
Click to expand...

We accept your defensive pact. May the French-British alliance bring victory to all women!
 
The German Empire hereby recognizes the United Queendom of Great Britain and Ireland.
 
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