It makes so little sense it's funny

[BirraImperial]

How about a civilization having the same inmortal leader for over 6000 years??

 

[ducker]

funny post man!!

why does one need iron to cut down jungles, but copper is good enough for forests?

 

[Glinka]

Not that I'm complaining. A game is a game. Just find it so weird.

Precisely. It's a strategy game, not a simulation. It has no real links to reality. It's just meant to be challenging fun.

 

[Nestorius]

What about:
1. Building the Pyramids allows your people to try innovative forms of government like Representation, even though the real Egyptians had an unchanging conservative monarchy for 3000 years.
2. Building the Parthenon doesn't allow your people to try innovative forms of government like Representation, even though the real Greeks did this around the time they built the Parthenon.
3. National boundaries are determined by 'culture', not by treaty. A strong culture absorbs the national territory of a weaker culture without war.
4. Grenade throwers dominate early modern warfare (is it? I'm pretty sure it ain't)
5. By the time an army consists of riflemen and grenaders, it is still using catapults; when it consists of cavalry-obseleting modern WWI-style Infantry, the generals develop the tech to built cannons.
6. Multicultural religious diversity is very important for the happiness of the people
7. The Apollo program lets civs build a spaceship to Alpha-Centari
8. Queen Elizabeth, Catherine, and Isabella are sexy

 

[CVDon]

Horses and cows are bigger than houses, and the workers are several times bigger than the cows and horses. (I wonder where the workers sleep? ANYWHERE THEY WANT TO!! HAHAHA ... It's an old joke ... you know ... where does a 400 pound gorilla ... oh never mind.) Of course, once you train the horses for mulitary purposes they become MUCH larger. Must be all the exercise.

 

[Brancaleone]

You can sacrifice population to rush a missionary!

"Cmon guy, you gotta help convert those infidels to our religion! Youre charismatic!"
"I dunno, man, theyre free to have their gods and stuff..."
"Then we will kill those 6000 slaves!"
"Dont do it! Dont do oh god you did it. Oh god."
"Now go or we will do it again!"

Then the missionary get to the allied town, and spread his religion but dies in the process.

"You have to convert to my religion! Thats what we do with those who dont convert!"
*stabs himself*
"He killed himself! I dont want to be stabbed, id better convert!"
"Me too, man. Lets send one gold every year to the shrine(sp)."

 

[Depravo]

"Dont do it! Dont do oh god you did it. Oh god."

ROFL.

I think most of you would agree there's far less of the absurdity than there was in Civ 3 though.

 

[gdgrimm]

You can wage an entire war with Riflemen, without having the faintest clue about Engineering.

Rifleman: "What are those men in shiny suits with really long pointy sticks doing?"
(Bang, Bang, Bang)
Rifleman: "Oh well. I guess we don't need to know."

 

[Reignking]

Ever heard of genetical engineering? No magic...

Nope, I've never heard of it. I've heard of genetic engineering, though.

 

[SlipperyJim]

You can sacrifice population to rush a missionary!

For a real hoot, you can also sacrifice slaves to make a modern Wonder. I once finished Broadway with a pop-rush....

"Ladies and gentlemen, for your amusement and edification, the Medina Chamber of Commerce is proud to present West Side Story ... complete with real-life knife fights between the gang members!"

 

[Bushface]

"Now that we have Plastics, let's build an absolutely huge dam !"
Visions of hordes of workers clipping trillions of little knobbly plastic blocks together . . .

 

[SlipperyJim]

How exactly does Chicken Itch add to all of my cities' defenses? Even the cities on other continents? Is it like some big magnet for catapult stones?

Also, why does it become obsolete when I discover Rifling? After all, I'm not going to be attacking my own cities with my rifles. Shouldn't Chicken Itch be affected by my opponents' military tech, not my own?

Some Wonders make more sense, but Chicken Itch just has me confused....

 

[Meffy]

[the anthro-skunk puts on a white lab coat and thick eyeglasses] *ahem* There are perfectly reasonable explanations for all these phenomena. I shall explain.

• You're are living in a totally isolated island in the ancient era. Your people exhaust themselves to build a Pyramid for you and is 90% finished. Suddenly a voice in your head tells you, "Stop, it has been built by people far far away, you've infringed somebody's copyright". You're so upset, but then you realize that you can actually turn the stones that you used into heaps of gold by some sort of magic.

What actually happens is that your empire converts its currency to large stone coins. The Yap Islanders did this, and made it into any number of books because of it.

• You can turn the ivory that you trade for into elephant warriors. Another magic.

Yes, this part is magic, pure and simple. The procedure is to cast an enchanted ivory figurine upon the ground while chanting... oops, I might've said too much already. So, heh heh, forget it -- this won't work until the upcoming "Nations Versus Necromancers" expansion set comes out.

What? Did I say too much AGAIN? D'oh. =>_<=

• Stone is harder to find than iron. Oil seems to be everywhere.

First, you can't build culturally significant artifacts out of just any old rock. And it can't be marble. That leaves just one obvious building material: enormous amethyst crystals! And those don't grow on trees, y'know.

Second, if oil seems to be everywhere it's time to visit a good mechanic. That could be serious.

• My Mongolian Kershners with flank II promotion don't know how to withdraw from a bunch of spearmen charging at them.

This is a problem, but there's a corresponding benefit. Name one of your Kershner units "Don" and you'll get a 50% bonus building the Rock 'n' Roll wonder thanks to the "Rock Concert" TV program.

• Elizabeth still doesn't want to teach me alphabet after I've razed her two cities and beseiged London with my 15 axemen.

I asked her too. She said she had to take her hair to be washed that night.

• Seeing a whole stack of longbowmen fortifying at their capital? No problem, we've got suicide bombers, a.k.a. catapults.

A strikingly similar weapon (the cowapult) worked for the French Knights in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, upon which my mental model of much of European history is based. So why ought it not to work in Civ IV?

• My people have learned fusion, still have no clue how to plant a tree.

This differs from reality how? *sigh* We've got to work on 'em both.

• The easiest way to win diplomatically is to nuke everybody so your people represent over 67% of population in the world

.... erm. Yes. That is. Well. Hem, hem. Next?

• One can spend money on research to discover God

Payback for SETI in Civ III, don'tcha think? ;-)

Okay, that took care of most of them. I always say, "There are rational explanations for nearly everything, and other explanations for the rest. I specialize in the latter." *deep bow*

 

[Meffy]

BTW, how is it that you can build the Rock 'n' Roll wonder even without access to stone? What's the deal with that, hm?

 

[SlipperyJim]

BTW, how is it that you can build the Rock 'n' Roll wonder even without access to stone? What's the deal with that, hm?

I don't have the Tech Tree memorized, but I wonder if it's possible to build Rock & Roll without discovering Music?

 

[MetHimPikeHoses]

BTW, how is it that you can build the Rock 'n' Roll wonder even without access to stone? What's the deal with that, hm?

That is an excellent point.

Also, what good is rock and roll without stone?

Everybody must get, uh, stone.

 

[The Last Conformist]

What about:
1. Building the Pyramids allows your people to try innovative forms of government like Representation, even though the real Egyptians had an unchanging conservative monarchy for 3000 years.

The ancient Egyptian monarchy was not unchanging.

2. Building the Parthenon doesn't allow your people to try innovative forms of government like Representation, even though the real Greeks did this around the time they built the Parthenon.

The Parthenon was build by Athenian democrats, who abhorred representation.

 

[Meffy]

I don't have the Tech Tree memorized, but I wonder if it's possible to build Rock & Roll without discovering Music?

I've known people who claim that's how it happened. 8-O

 

[JFLNYC]

BTW, how is it that you can build the Rock 'n' Roll wonder even without access to stone? What's the deal with that, hm?

My problem is I never seem to get rolls as a resource! Bread, yes. But no rolls!!!

 

[5cats]

I don't have the Tech Tree memorized, but I wonder if it's possible to build Rock & Roll without discovering Music?

OMG it is true! You CAN discouver Rock & Roll without Music!
Or Alphabet!~ Or Currency!~
That last one is really unrealistic!